1 - 20 of 179 Works in Colonel Schaeffer (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)

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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Usually when you die and your body is donated for scientific research that's that. But usually that scientific research doesn't include a pathogen with the power to reanimate, and you don't end up as a zombified lab rat for a questionable branch of the US millitary.

    It's a stroke of luck that Paul and Emma were given a second shot at being alive, and they're not going to sit around wasting it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    50,076
    Chapters:
    14/?
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    2204
  2. Tags
    Summary

    John MacNamara is an overly caffeinated, overly worked, and overly exhausted college student at Hatchetfield College who is completely oblivious to his best friend, Xander Lee's, giant crush on him.
    But one night at a party, John meets a mysterious man in a rather hideous denim jacket.
    A mysterious man who seems to know a bit too much about John to be just a stranger.
    A mysterious man who calls himself Wiley.

    (Title taken from Stalker's Tango by Autoheart)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,290
    Chapters:
    11/?
    Comments:
    60
    Kudos:
    16
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    314
  3. Tags
    Summary

    The helicopter went down in the middle of the lake, leaving Paul and Emma with no way to get to the shore.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    660
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    10
    Hits:
    30
  4. Tags
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,837
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    20
  5. Tags
    Summary

    The officers discuss the stories behind the strangest scars they’ve gotten

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,823
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    7
    Hits:
    28
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Colonel Schaffer never made the same mistake twice, so why was it so different this time?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,955
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    15
  7. Tags
    Summary

    At their annual New Year's party, John's family are very shocked to find out he once had a boyfriend. John did. He still would, if he didn't die when he was 17. Now, John is 37 and time's leaving his only memories in the dirt and it's never hurt more.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,220
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    1
    Hits:
    18
  8. Tags
    Summary

    16 citizens find themselves in a strange building, then are told they're in a killing game. Who will survive the game, and who will succumb to the dark themes?
    ///
    CW GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE AND DEATH IN FUTURE CHAPTERS. IF YOU ARE SENSITIVE TO CONTENT LIKE THIS, PLEASE BE CAREFUL!!

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66,860
    Chapters:
    10/20
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    13
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    263
  9. Tags
    Summary

    “Well well well, what do we have here?” Linda mused. She studied him carefully. She held his face to prevent him from moving. “Hmmmmm. He’s not what I expected, but if it is the will of Wiggly then so be it.”

    [ or: au where paul is chosen as wiggly’s vessel, and a different sort of apotheosis is upon hatchetfield. ]

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    100,832
    Chapters:
    22/?
    Comments:
    138
    Kudos:
    335
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    7481
  10. Tags
    Summary

    After the death of Wilbur, John is struggling to adapt to the new changes around him. Luckily for him, he has a new person in his life in the form of Xander Lee. But, he seems to be throwing around a lot of mixed signals. Enter the PEIP gay rule book, and John’s questioned are suddenly answered.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,685
    Chapters:
    3/15
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    122
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Being the lone two survivors of the “Hatchetfield Catastrophe”, Henry Hidgens and Theodore Spankoffski are left alone in an unfamiliar house in the suburbs with no one but the other (and that doesn’t really mean a lot).

    So, naturally, they do the only thing they can: adopt each other.

    It’s really what PEIP wants anyway, so who cares if they’re actually happy with the arrangement?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,162
    Chapters:
    2/11
    Kudos:
    2
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    52
  12. Tags
    Summary

    A collection of records, never committed to the P.E.I.P. archives, of John Macnamara's experiences within the agency.

    Or: five times John’s hair was done up and one time he did someone else’s.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,009
    Chapters:
    3/6
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    160
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Three months have passed since the world ended.
    The few survivors remain in the safe tunnels of the underground PEIP base, not knowing whether or not they'll live to see the next day. Though grief is prominent and the iron fist of PEIPs leaders is uncompromising, the tests of this new world may return those who were thought to be dead to their loved ones.
    And in the darkness, hope could be found.

    Part Two of ’On the Outside Looking In’

    READ PART ONE (OTOLI) FIRST!!!!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    697,928
    Chapters:
    60/?
    Comments:
    887
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    6607
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Unsatisfied with the turn out of their last attempt at destroying the world, The Lords in Black sit before The Black Book, tearing out the pages, watching them dissolve. Now, with the world at their hands, they start over. Enter the summer of 2019. The 75th Annual Honey Queen Festival is about to begin, as is the new semester for Abstinence Camp which is also the perfect time for any new businesses to promote themselves. It’s a very busy time for Hatchetfield. Would it matter if a couple of kids went missing?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    17,839
    Chapters:
    5/?
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    99
  15. Tags
    Summary

    Xander told himself he’d be fine a year after and that he’d heal. He told himself he’d be fine two years later. He told himself he’d be fine three years after, but three years came around and he could hardly remember what he’d done with his life. He’s still grieving, and he doesn’t know what to do. The hallucinations are too much and the meds don't work. Just let him go.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,355
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    4
    Hits:
    22
  16. Tags
    Summary

    General Mcnamara thinks some of his soldiers could do with some bonding exercises

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,020
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    1
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    40
  17. Tags
    Summary

    One fateful day on one fateful night, Xander Lee strolls into The Birdhouse after beginning to think about his high school crush. It’s either that his eyes are deceiving him, or the man in the black at the bar with a glass of whiskey in hand looks uncannily like him.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,602
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    8
    Hits:
    45
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Meteor destroyed. Aliens vanquished. Hatchetfield quarantined. Instead of one survivor, Emma is no longer alone. The story of an alternative ending to the hit musical, 'The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals' by Team StarKid. Find out what happens when alien characters convert back to their human souls. How can murderous, falsetto aliens fit back into mundane society? Find out as we take a look into each characters journey from singing to living... For better or for worse.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,072
    Chapters:
    2/6
    Comments:
    9
    Kudos:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    186
  19. Tags
    Summary

    February 7th 2005: Wilbur Cross dies in battle. July 7th 2012: John McNamara meets the exact same fate. March 26th 2021: The new general of the precinct faces a problem. Retrieving a corrupted soldier seemed like an easy job and in previous years, it had been. But he? He was different. They thought it’d be an easy job until they realised the corrupted soldier was one of the deadliest people of his time and a confirmed mass murderer. Suddenly, the mission took a lot of sudden turns and a lot of men fell. The general should have paid attention in briefing. It wouldn’t ever be easy to sedate a super soldier. For as a wise woman once said: ‘Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exits. The ones that do call him The Winter Soldier. He’s credited with over two dozen assassinations on the last 50 years’

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    16,076
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    2
    Hits:
    50
  20. Tags
    Summary

    When the two most unlikely friends are forced to fend off the musical apocalypse they agree that they’ll get out of this mess, together.

    This is an AU of the guy who didn’t like musicals where Ted survives with Emma and drags her out of the Clivesdale hospital the second a note comes out Paul’s mouth.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,970
    Chapters:
    9/?
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    82
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    1122

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