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  1. Rec 25

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    “What is the sun to you?” Taehyun asks.

    “You are,” Kai says.

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    21 Jan 2022

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  2. Rec 21

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    “Choi Beomgyu,” Soobin groans, “you are always so close to getting the point.”

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    27 Aug 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Kai having feelings for you. How does that make you feel?”

    Beomgyu stares out at the night sky beyond Soobin and Yeonjun’s balcony. To anyone else, it’d be far too bright to be considered nighttime, but Seoul’s light pollution brings Beomgyu an odd sense of comfort — like that, too, will continue to happen as long as the Earth keeps spinning. The thought makes him smile, but not like he smiles when he’s with Kai.

    “I don’t know how I feel,” Beomgyu says honestly.

  3. Rec 23

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    Beomgyu comes home early and finds him looking up how dying feels like a few days later and he doesn’t ask what are you doing? or looks at him strangely; he curls up next to Soobin instead, cheek to cheek as they both read out loud some near-death experiences; from I don’t remember anything hurting as much to it was like falling asleep.

    A month before the end, only a few things change.

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    27 Aug 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fireflies fly on the corner of his vision and the sun’s already sunk in the horizon – no twinkling stars, no half-moon, only city lights brightening up in the darkening skyline. Soobin laces their hands together and Beomgyu kisses his knuckles one by one, the warmth of his lips seeping into him.

    Soobin kisses him after; hand on the nape of Beomgyu’s neck, thumb stroking his jawline. Toothpaste and cherry lip balm, sharp evening air.

    He opens his eyes and Beomgyu’s are still closed, dark pink lips, the last wisps of light catching his lashes and casting a shadow over his cheekbones.

    Yours, he tells himself.

    The world will end in a month.

  4. Rec 42

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    It was always like this with Kai. Taehyun leaned in expecting resistance, and was surprised when Kai, eagerly, pliantly gave way. 

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    23 Aug 2021

    Bookmarker's Notes

    “Thank you for coming with me,” Kai said when he dropped Taehyun off outside his house. They’d been silent most of the walk home, and Taehyun had spent it just looking. At Kai’s earrings that caught in the furious afternoon light as he moved, faint freckles that had emerged across the bridge of his nose in the sun, the slight arch of his cheekbones. He had memorized the shape of Kai’s hand in his: the way that his thumbs jutted awkwardly, boyishly; the lines of his veins between his knuckles; neat, slim fingernails.

    “Thank you for taking me,” he said.

    He might not understand God, but he understood worship.

  5. Rec 41

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    “I’d like to get to know you,” Soobin tells him.

    “We’ve Drifted. I think you know more than enough,” Beomgyu answers, easy as breathing, casual when it shouldn’t be.

    He presses his lips into a thin line. “Can we – try?”

    Soobin and Beomgyu learn each other, from Kodiak to Vladivostok.

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    29 Sep 2020

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Against the fire and the star dusted sky, Beomgyu looks like a vision, something holy. The Drift simmers, tangling them together, making it impossible to know where his own feelings end, where Beomgyu’s begin.