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subject: not a report

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JEONGGUK (lab partner)

hello jimin-ssi, this is jeongguk, your lab partner
don’t really want to bother you but you have yet to email me your part of the report
it’ll be great if you can send it to me asap :)

oh shit!!!
i’m so sorryy!! i totally forgot!!
i’ll send it to you once i get back home
once again so sorry!

thats totally fine!!



From: park.jimin@gmail.com

Subject: jimin's microbiology report

To: j.jeongguk@gmail.com

Attached: wip aokise fisting.doc (256 KB)

here you go! so sorry this is so late T_T


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

um
received ur email but i think you sent me the wrong doc

wdym?

the file is an aokise fisting fic

HOLY FUCKS SHDBJ
DONT READ IT
ITS NOT MINE

too late
i already did tho, its pretty good
but it stopped when i got to the good part
u should continue writing it
hello?
jimin-ssi?
ok i wont tease you anymore
but pls send me your report :)


hobi hyung

pls kill me. i made a rookieass mistake

why what happened?

i accidentally sent an email with an aokise fisting fic doc attached to it to my lab partner and i want to burn myself

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
JIMIN
thats the best thing ive heard all day

literally fuck you

but its better than accidentally sending it to your professors right?

that doesn't make me feel remotely better

¯\_(ツ)_/


chim’s in hell
@kisskise i want to personally bury myself 6 ft under. 10:47 PM - 1 AUGUST 2018


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

sent you the report already

received it!
its the right one this time ;)

pls never speak of that again

my lips are sealed
but its a good fic
whats your ao3 handle?
or are you an lj kind of person?
hellooo?
okay
i'll shut up

Chapter Text

tae-hyungie

i think ive found the aokise fic of my life

?????

lemme tell u the story my friend
my lab partner accidentally sent me the wrong file
and it so happens to be an aokise fisting fic
FISTING
aokise fIsTING

WTAF
what a disaster

it is
and now my lab partner is ignoring me :(
THE FIC IS SO GOOD
QUALITY SMUT
didn't rlly expect him to write such a thing
cus like hes so cute
the last thing i expect is for him to be writing about FISTING
and now i want to read more
but hes ignoring me
and i am sad

well duh he's ignoring you
i bet he feels like dying
from all the embarrassment

but theres nothing to be embarrassed about :(

you wouldn't know bc you literally have no shame

EXCUSE ME
youre the one that have no shame

shut up
go away
im busy

BUT HYUNG
my ultimate fisting ficcccc

go read another fisting fic
or another pwp
gosh youre insatiable
u rlly need to get laid

im not a horny teenager

'not horny' he says
youre literally whining about a fisting fic

doesn't mean im horny
i love reading art
and that fisting fic was a masterpiece
you wouldn't get that
you kno what
whatever
im gonna read this 100k slowburn friends to lovers iwaoi
stay busy

i don't care


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

hello jimin-ssi
can we meet up at the library later?
we need to discuss abt our presentation

sorry
can't later
can we just split tasks and do it on our own
i'll share it with u on gdocs

...
you're ignoring me
its bc of that fisting fic huh
you cant even look at me in class

I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN

ok
listen
i'll act like the whole thing never happened
what aokise fisting?
never heard of it
(tho i rlly like the fic so far and i honestly want more BUT)
i value my grades
we need to discuss the presentation
cus virtually ain't gonna cut it
so whenever you're free jimin-ssi, hmu
DON'T IGNORE ME


hobi hyung

can u switch places with me
and go meet my lab partner for this presentation discussion on my behalf

um no
wtf
what am i?
do i look like your stunt double?

but HYUNG
U DONT GET IT
he read my aokise fisting fic
i cant even look at him in class
i'd die if i spent a minute alone with him

youre not going to die
just face it with ur head held high
like men

literally fuck u
╭∩╮(︶︿︶)╭∩╮


chim’s in hell
@kisskise lesson of a lifetime: pls double check ur email before sending it. dont be like me kids 9:26 PM - 3 AUGUST 2018


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

is thursday afternoon okay with you?

BLESS
MY GRADES ARE SAVED
and yes
thursday afternoon is okay

kay see you

see you jimin-ssi!!

Chapter Text

chim’s in hell
@kisskise i just finished watching daiya no ace and lemme just say that i am in fucking love with miyuki kazuya. and its fucking 4am and i have to be up in a few hours for class. guess ill just die. fuck biology 4:12 AM - 6 AUGUST 2018


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

you didn't come to class
did u overslept?
you definitely did
well, dont forget our meetup discussion this afternoon :)
is the library ok with you?
or you wanna go to the cafe down the street?


chim’s in hell
@kisskise lmao. why do i think i'll be able to wake up for an 8am class after having a daiya no ace marathon. i put too much trust in myself lmaooo 11:17 AM - 6 AUGUST 2018


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

lol
yea i overslept
cafe pls
im in need of coffee

long night?
alrighty, cafe it is
i'm on my way

more like my stupid ass decided its a good idea to binge watch daiya no ace
so yea long night

DAIYA NO ACE
fbcvsdm

you like it?

LIKE IT????
I LOVE IT!!!!
not to be that person but you should consider writing a misawa fisting fic

...............

whoops
sorry
forgot
got a little too excited there
the fisting fic never happened
you never wrote a fisting fic

fml


chim’s in hell
@kisskise wish me luck im meeting my lab partner whom i accidentally sent my wip aokise fisting fic :) 01:06 PM - 6 AUGUST 2018


hobi hyung

HYUNG HELP
this shits awkward
i hate u for not taking in my place

I DONT OWE YOU ANYTHING
i dont even know anything about biology
so fuck you

fuck you back
i cant even look at his face
without thinking about FISTING

TMI

THATS NOT WHAT I MEANT
I MEANT
its THE FACT THAT HE HAD READ MY FISTING FIC
and he keeps on praising how good of a fic it is
when i have made it clear to him to never talk of it, like ever
i just want death

never thought i'd see the day you hate being praised
did you finally get rid of that praise kink of yours?

fuck off
im in a crises

you should consider letting me read the fisting fic

HELL NO

and why the hell notttt

BC ITS WEIRD
you're never going to read anything of mine
NEVER
you've been sworn to secrecy the moment you knew that i write gay fanfictions

its not that bad

i'd like to keep my internet persona and real life separate
tyvm

1+1=0

shut up
i have biology to discuss

YOU TEXTED ME FIRST YOU BITCH


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

hyung
you kno
he's actually kind of cute

who's cute?
why are you texting me
we're literally right across from each other
and why are you calling me hyung?

SHIT
wrong number
ignore

o...kay
but whos cute
is it me? ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ

NO
miyuki kazuya is cute

im hurt ●︿●
but yes miyuki is cute
one of my best boy


chim’s in hell
@kisskise when you think i'm not gonna fuck up, i fucked up again big time 02:15 PM - 6 AUGUST 2018

Chapter Text

[snsd's voice] the boys

this group chat is ded
ya'll are old and boring

namjoonie hyung
unlike you i have a life to live

listen
i've been living off of two hours of sleep, every fucking day my veins are pumping in caffeine
i've missed three classes in one week
i've only eaten fucking ramyeon every single day
and the bags under my eyes look like a fucking gucci bag
HOWEVER
i still have the time to revive this group
and now you're saying i have no life to live?

namjoonie hyung
whoa
he snapped

hobi hyung
jimin definitely snapped

shut up
im stressed
and we havent hung out together in so long
i'm having 'the boys' withdrawals

hobi hyung
we see each other almost every day

im talking about namjoon hyung and seokjin hyung

hobi hyung
oh so you don't want to hang out with me anymore
i see how it is

stop twisting my words you oaf

hobi hyung
◔_◔

anyway
my point
lets hang out

hobi hyung
i guess you're just talking with namjoon and seokjin hyung

SHUT UP
IM TALKING ABOUT US, US, AS IN, US FOUR
the boys™
can't believe you made me explain this
and great
namjoon hyung is gone and seokjin hyung is nowhere to be found

hobi hyung
i dunno
maybe they're bUSY?

gROANS
i am stressed
i have a chem experiment due in a week
don't get me started on microbiology
my lab partner is gonna kill me
i haven't started doing anythingggggg
and all i want is to have a destressing night with my boys
but i guess they are all busy for me

hobi hyung
you're busy yourself
go do those shits
i thought we promised each other to work hard in college so we can get good paying jobs and have those bestfriendship trip in some city in europe
we need to experience how it feels to live in luxury

maybe we should just switch lives with seokjin hyung
i have no motivation
nor the inspiration
i just want to do nothing
or cry, because i have so much to do

hobi hyung
you're chaotic
i have to go
dance practice in a minute

NO ONE LOVES ME ANYMORE


[snsd's voice] the boys

jinnie hyung
nawh jiminie
its alright
i love you

you're late.


chim’s in hell
@kisskise i'm ignoring my responsibilities and am writing a misawa fluff fic #thisismyhappyplace 09:01 PM - 13 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise omg. fic writing legend writing a misawa, im anticipating

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring i'm no legend (。・_・。) don't expect too much. i suddenly fell in love with miyuki and the next thing i know my brain was like 'u gotta write about miyuki bitch u gotta'

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise i relate. my boy have that effect on ppl

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring he's the best and i'm just so filled with love ♡


[snsd's voice] the boys

namjoonie hyung
jiminie
you're
a
mess
and pls
do your assignments
don't do it until the very last minute

haha
too late

jinnie hyung
should i be worried?

everything's dandy

hobi hyung
that means
he's fucked


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

um hey
don't rlly wanna stress you out
but

ok fuck
what fic did i accidentally emailed to you again?
is it the spanking or shaving iwaoi fic?
or enemies to friends to strangers to friends to lovers aokise fic tagged porn with feelings?

uh what
those sound like epic fics tbh
you also write iwaoi?

i have too many ships
i like all of them

ok thats cool
but don't worry you didn't send me the wrong docs

good to know
then whats the problem?

you sound stressed out
is everything rlly ok?

yea everything's cool

ok... if you say so

yes i say so

ok so like
i need you to redo ur part of the presentation

come again?

im so sorry but there's just too many words
i need you to summarize it
not copy paste it from google search

so you're saying that i need to edit the mitochondria so it wont be the fucking powerhouse of the cells or what?
theres very little thing to tweak
its fucking biology

mitochondria
what
listen jimin-ssi
i know its hard
but you rlly need to try
you literally just sent me a whole article on wikiask
this is a group project
we should work together

sigh
im sorry
you're right
sorry for snapping at you
im just

tired?

yeah
sorry
i'll redo my part
i'll send it back to you tomorrow morning latest
sorry

its okay!!
no worries!!

thanks

we can do this!!!!
there's only a few days left until its over

haha
you're right

if you need any help
don't hesitate to text me

ok
will do


tae-hyungie

jimin sort of snapped at me
and i swear it feels like getting scolded by yoongi hyung
tiny ppl really have that power huh

if yoongi hyung sees that
you're dead

if you don't tell him
he will never know

¯\_(ツ)_/

HYUNG
DONT DO IT
DONT TELL HIM
OR I WILL STEAL ALL OF YOUR DAIYA NO ACE MERCH COLLECTION


chim’s in hell
@kisskise what was i thinking, picking natural sciences as my major 12:39 AM - 15 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise how do you survive????

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring we survive on two hours of sleep everyday. our blood is pure caffeine and energy drinks

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise MAD RESPECT

Chapter Text

chim’s in hell
@kisskise can i just drop out of college and be a stripper 02:01 AM - 17 AUGUST 2018


JEONGGUK (lab partner)

hello
i know these past few days have been rough to you
so here
have a kise to get you through the day

that's... rlly sweet
thanks
really needed that

◕ ◡ ◕

have miyuki also!

AAAAH
thank you!!! \o/

you can do it jimin-ssi!

i really needed that
thanks so much
and
you don't have to call me jimin-ssi
just hyung is fine

waaah
achievement unlocked

lol


chim’s in hell
@kisskise i woke up after only one and a half hour of sleep to a text message from my lab partner sending me cute laughing gifs of kise and miyuki. he's actually rlly sweet when he's not teasing me of an incident that shall not be named 09:47 AM - 18 AUGUST 2018


tae-hyungie

i can call jimin, hyung now
\(• ◡ •)/

uh
???
what have you been calling him actually?
fisting fic guy?

NO WTF
i'm not THAT mean

you're actually so mean
remember freshman year
when you first come into my dorm
and your eyes light up
when you see my humble collection of sports anime merchs?
you went crazy and came up with a foolproof master plan to move all of them to your room
only evil people do that
and its you

WELL
I DIDNT ACTUALLY MOVE THEM ALL OUT
the plan wasn't even in action
so im just
half-evil
im not a pure blood

everyday i think how on earth did i manage to tolerate you, every single second of the day

EXCUSE ME
you stole my line


[snsd's voice] the boys

jinnie hyung
CLEAR OUT ALL YOUR SCHEDULES THIS WEEKEND
THE BOYS™ ARE GOING TO THE CLUB

hobi hyung
HELL TO THE YEA

namjoonie hyung
WOOHOO
im gonna put my party hat on

jinnie hyung
namjoon pls don't

namjoonie hyung
since when did i ever listen to you

jinnie hyung
then stay ten feet away from me

namjoonie hyung
you literally have zero sense of style

oh
so now all of you want to hangout

hobi hyung
JIMIN

namjoonie hyung
JIMIN

jinnie hyung
JIMIN
YOURE ALIVE

obviously

jinnie hyung
we're gonna have some fun this weekend
clear out ur schedule
and finish up ur assignments
thats motivation for you

ive finished them all
but more is coming
its like an unending cycle
its like college is trying to singlehandedly squeeze the little life i've had in me

jinnie hyung
its okay!!
we'll all unwind this weekend
my treat

that's what i've been saying
but all of you decide to ignore me
are all of you not busy anymore???
last time i checked
you all are super busy

hobi hyung
the pettiness jumped out

jinnie hyung
hoseok shut up for a second

namjoonie hyung
don't be like that jiminie
we'll make it up to youuu
i'll buy you that anime character doll you've wanted

KISE IS NOT JUST AN ANIME CHARACTER
and oh
i also want bulbasaur and totoro tyvm


yoongi hyung

jeongguk

before u get mad at me or anything
i have said nothing
taehyung-hyung is bullshitting you

why would i get mad at you
and what did taehyung do now?

oh
so he hasn't said anything to you
like
AT ALL?

no wtf
what are you trying to play at here

NOTHING
so what do you need me for, my most loving hyung?

you're acting sus
now im starting to think you did something wrong

everything's fine!!!!!

*squints eye*

REALLY

i don't trust you fully
but whatever
bc im hungry af
i need you to buy me that bombass fried chicken from that restaurant pronto
and send it to my studio

hyung
you can just
drive and buy it yourself you know

DID I STUTTER
GET UR ASS HERE AT MY STUDIO
WITH THE FRIED CHICKEN
do not test me jeon jeongguk

WHY CAN'T U ASK TAEHYUNG HYUNG INSTEAD

that dickhead made up some shitty excuse of being stranded on some island in the bahamas


tae-hyungie

just know
that i rlly hate you right now

the fuck i did now???

stranded on some island in the bahamas my ass


chim’s in hell
@kisskise i've only known the taste of caffeine these past few weeks that i forgot how fucking good alcohol is 11:51 PM - 20 AUGUST 2018


jeonggukie

HENLO

henlo to you too?
what's up?

HAS NYON E TLOD U TAHT U LOOK LIEK A BUNNY

i guess
taehyung hyung always said that i look like a bunny

WHOS TEAHYUNG

TEAHYUNG
OMFG
HES GONNA SCREAM
teahyung's my friend btw
and...
i'm guessing you're drunk

U GUES RIHGT

someones having fun tonight!!
you did have fun right???

YEAS
THE MOSTRE FUN
BT U LOOK LIEK A BUNNY
BUNNY IS CUTE
AND URE CUTEW

.............
im honestly blushing rn
u rlly think im cute?
or is it just bc you're drunk
are u like brutally honest when you're drunk
and that you honestly think that i'm cute?
WAIT
now that i remember
the text that you accidentally sent to me
'he's actually kind of cute'
are u talking abt me???
and not miyuki kazuya???
omfg u really think im cute
i don't know what to do with this information
but my heart is fluttering
hello??
jimin-ssi?
jimin hyung?
i guess you passed out
BUT
sleep well!!!
and i hope you don't have a bad hangover tomorrow morning ♡


tae-hyungie

ok so
what do you do when a cute guy says that you're cute like a bunny

its almost 4 in the morning jeongguk
wtf

thats beside the point!!
i need answers!!!!

only drunk ppl would call you cute like a bunny

fuck off

Chapter Text

jeonggukie

ok
listen
i can explain

(`・ω・´)
good morning to you too jiminie hyung
how are u feeling?
feeling hungover?

i'm fine
but
yea
sorry
for drunk texting you last night
just ignore
and forget everything

so you want me to forget that you think i'm cute like a bunny?
what if i don't want to?
more like,,, i can't??

first of all
i was drunk
and second of all!!!

but you rlly think i'm cute
no?
bc i find you cute too

that wrong text is not talking about you!!!
i swear i was talking about miyuki kazuya!!!
....
wait what????

um
wait
what

uh
u said 'i find you cute too'

hahaha
i know what i said
now i feel like
burying myself alive tbh

I SHOULD BE THE ONE FFELING LIKE I WANT TO BURY MYSELF ALIVE
YOU WERE THE ONE TEASING ME

I KNOWWW
BUT NOW
I PANICKED
and im embarrassed

ok
i hate that i can actually relate
so
top ten favorite anime

top ten what?

i'm trying to clear the awkwardness in the air
just play along idiot

listen, i managed to get into advanced biology and hold onto my impressive gpa
i am far from an idiot

ok you have a point right there
you're a smart idiot

gjbnmfsd
i dunno why
but i cackled at that

you're honestly so lame
but whatever floats your boat i guess
so
top ten favorite anime

that's actually impossible to rank!!!
give me some leeway
i'll list my ten favorites in no particular order

ok fine!
ten favorite anime in no particular order

haikyuu!!, knb, daiya no ace, free, snk, fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, naruto, pokemon, slam dunk and cowboy bebop
wait!! and also dragon ball z and yuri on ice and bleach and one piece and so much more

i told u to list only ten

CAN U BLAME ME FOR LOVING EVERYTHING

nah
can't blame you at all
we actually almost have the same favorites tbh

ooof
an intellectual
all of them are phenomenal
i also loveeee kimi no nawa
makoto shinkai created a masterpiece
and i blamed that movie bc now i expect to hear the sound of a bell ringing when i meet my one true love

you're such a dork wtf
you get all talky when you talk about anime

you don't like it? :(

what no
i actually find it so endearing

you do?? ⊙﹏⊙

oh god
nope
we're not moving into awkward territory again
name me one anime that made you cry

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST WITHOUT QUESTION
LIKE BITCH

BITCH SAME
and your lie in april
fucking bitchh

don't get me started with your lie in april
a bitch sobbed
i have a hate love relationship with that anime

ok wait a sec
lemme grab a bottle of water
we need to discuss this shit

ok let me get my nerd glasses on
we going full on analysis mode

you're already a nerd!!!


chim’s in hell
@kisskise maybe i have found my soulmate 11:01 AM - 21 AUGUST 2018


hobi hyung

you know
jeonggukie
is actually rlly funny

jeonggukie?
you mean ur lab partner?
since when you call him jeonggukie?

since we spent two hours texting and bonded over anime
he's such a meme tbh

and you're telling me why?
so u guys already went past the fact that he had read your aokise fisting fic or?
is that still up for discussion

nope
he doesn't know any of my aokise fisting fic
he has never read them

come again????
didn't u like get into full on panic mode
and was this close to delete ur entire existence

i told him to never speak of it ever again
and he's doing a good job with it tbh

????
1+1 = 0
things just doesn't add up
but wtf why do i care tbh
sometimes i really think that you're slowly losing ur mind bc of science

'slowly losing ur mind bc of science'
more like i'm deadass going on full speed losing my mind bc of science

exactly my point


tae-hyungie

me and jimin hyung are now the best of friends

cool
now you're finally able to read the entirety of that fisting fic

shhh
that's a sensitive topic
we're never going to talk about it anymore
and im not befriending him just so i can read [redacted]
we just have a lot of things in common
like how we both find each other cute
but shhh
that's also not to be discussed

????????
idek what you're yapping on about
but
i thought i'm your fucking best friend

you're not my fucking best friend excuse me
thats so offensive
you're my best bro for life
pLS

i'm so done with you
fuck off
i'm in the middle of reading this phenomenal fic

hyung what fic??
LINK PLSSSSS
does it have fisting???

no wtf????
ur obsession over fisting is starting to worry me tbh

in this household we don't kinkshame
besides
its not like im going to fist you

i want to bleach my fucking eyes out


chim’s in hell
@kisskise i actually managed to finish this pwp aokise after all the trouble this fic got me into 11:51 PM - 23 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise let me tell you something, i don't rlly ship aokise but i will fucking devour everything that you put out bc you're that good!!

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring i'm flattered omg ಥ_ಥ i'll post it tomorrow hopefully!!

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise take your time legend!!!!!!!!!

Chapter Text

chim’s in hell
@kisskise here you go, 14k words of pwp aokise that somehow turns soft. and oh, there's also fisting. kisskise.livejournal.com/125930 10:01 PM - 24 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise i'm screaming bloody hell!!! bitch, we going sinning tonight

chim’s in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring ooooof i hope you'll like it!!!! ♡


maybe i cry (kisskise ) wrote,
2018-08-24 21:57

[fic] breath me in (1/2)

breath me in, aomine daiki/kise ryouta, explicit (like very fucking sinful i can't even look at myself), 14000 words (of fucking pure porn). also fuck this fic for giving me so much trouble.

warnings: there's fisting, so if you're not down to that, exit this shit real quick. other than that, everything's fine and is filled with soft filthy porn. there's literally no plot, we dive in straight to the smut, like men.

[click here]

290 | 20 shares | 29 comments


jeonggukie

wanna hear some science pick up line?
i found some when i got bored of researching about the anatomy of the human body

its like 2am
but okay, shoot
its better than trying to type up for this assignment that's due in 12 hours

i know texting with me is funner than doing assignments ;)

doing anything is better than doing assignments tbh

ouch
i'm hurt

whatever
now, the pick up line
before i go and ditch you for my assignments

you wouldn't!!!

i actually would
so chop chop
entertain me

damn
okay
some of them are horrible tbh
don't say i didn't warn you

all pick up lines are horrible so whats your point

excuse me!!! there are pick up lines that are good and smooth!!!

like what????

like, did it hurt when you fell from heaven
and, if you were a booger i'd pick you up

........
you have literally zero taste
its embarrassing

you're just lame!!!!!!!

pls don't tell me you have used that pick up line to woo someone

PLS
JEON JEONGGUK TRYING TO WOO SOMEONE WITH PICK UP LINES?
unrealistic
i'd be a fumbling mess
i'm too shy for my own good

'too shy for my own good'
could have fooled me

◔_◔
anyway
SCIENCE PICK UP LINE

am i going to regret this

probably!!!
but this ones funny
if i were an enzyme, i'd be DNA helicase so i could unzip your genes

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

im-

THIS ONES CUTE
you must be the one for me, since my selectively permeable membrane let you through
heheh


.........

and it just gets better
are you made of copper and tellurium?
because you are Cu-Te
(´▽`)

i hate the fact that i chuckled

oh it just gets better and better
i bet you're like calcium bicarbonate - if i get you wet, the reaction will be explosive!

PUAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

FUCK OFF

BUT HYUNG
THERES MORE

dont wanna hear it
im questioning my life decisions already

according to the second law of thermodynamics, you're supposed to share your hotness with me
HAHAHAHAHAHA

ಠ︵ಠ凸

IM CRYING

and im blocking you

YOU WOULDN'T

[error: you cannot send any text to this number because you are fucking blocked]

HYUUUUUUUUNG


spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise's new fic gives me life im still screamingfbvjfvjnf!! 03:45 AM - 25 AUGUST 2018

chim’s in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring dvnjdnvfv im glad you liked the filth


tae-hyungie

kisskise.livejournal.com/125930

ooooooooh
whats thatttt

a 14k pwp aokise fic with fisting
thought i'd share with you
hope that'll quench your thirst

SCREAMS
AOKISE FISTING
didn't know ppl still post fics on livejournal

you're missing out broooo
the author writes legendary fics

pftch
oh well
i trust your judgement

i have good tastes

yea yea
whatev
now leave me alone
i'm going sinning

ugh
fucking enjoy


tae-hyungie

HYUNG
OMFG
HYUNG
THE FISTING FIC
IM SCREAMING

its that good right??????????

YEAH FUCKING HELL ITS GOOD
BC ITS THE FISTING FIC THAT JIMIN ACCIDENTALLY SENT TO ME
IM
SPEECHLESS

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKKKK
jimin is kisskise?????????

YES

holy fuck
this is actually so funny
can't believe one of my favorite fic author is your jimin
hfbvfjvn
what are the fucking odds

'your jimin'
mayhaps my heart flutter

.............

HYUNG I DUNNO WHAT TO DO WITH THIS INFORMATION
HE WRITES SO GOOD
I'VE GOT A HEART BONER
THAT WAS THE AOKISE FIC OF MY DREAMS
IM STILL CRYING
HYUNG
HYUNG
DID YOU JUST LEFT ME ON READ
im cancelling your ass


spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise so like funny story, i linked ur aokise fic to my friend who strangely has a fixated interest with fisting and apparently he's ur lab partner that u accidentally sent the fic draft to ;) 09:45 AM - 25 AUGUST 2018

chim’s in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring YOU'RE TEAHYUNG??????????? WTAF IM MIGRATING

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise tEahyung????????? EXCUSE ME????????


hobi hyung


that's it, im dropping out of college and migrating to some place where ppl won't know i exist

whats the context of this honestly

THERES NO NEED FOR CONTEXT WHEN THE WORLD IS SMALL AND EVERYBODY KNOWS EVERYBODY
NOWHERE IS SAFE

you've truly lost your mind

HFVBFNVMVMF

famous last words

Chapter Text

[snsd's voice] the boys

seokjin hyung
pls adopt me into your family and send me to study somewhere far away
like in america or the north pole
and change my last name to Kim, i swear i'll be of beneficial to your family empire

jinnie hyung
.....
what goes on

namjoonie hyung
he wants you to adopt him

jinnie hyung
i can read well thank you very much namjoon
but srsly what

JUST ADOPT ME AND SEND ME FAR AWAY

hobi hyung
don't bother him hyung
he's just being dramatic

IM NOT BEING DRAMATIC
MY REASONS ARE SOLID

hobi hyung
irl people knowing what you did on the internet is not a solid reason

IN MY BOOK IT IS
SO STFU
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH

jinnie hyung
what does jimin do on the internet exactly?

hobi hyung
oh you don't wanna know hyung ;)

HOSEOK HYUNG STOP MAKING IT WORSE

namjoonie hyung
ok i'm getting slightly worried
is it something illegal?

FBVJFVJKNF
NO

hobi hyung
you know, for a future doctor, you really are dumb

EXCUSE ME
atleast i have five extra brain cells than you

hobi hyung
and you're losing those extra brain cells

jinnie hyung
honestly i dunno what's going on anymore
tsks, college kids

HYUNG
JUST DONT ASK ANY QUESTIONS AND PLS JUST ADOPT ME

jinnie hyung
no thank you
my family tree is as good as it is

you don't love me :((

hobi hyung
IM CACKLING

namjoonie hyung
lemme guess
is jimin secretly a camboy

hobi hyung
FHVBFKVFVFNVF
IM DYING

HYUNG NOABDJNK

jinnie hyung
a camboy?????

hobi hyung
HE'LL BE THE WORST CAMBOY

STFU IM CANCELLING ALL OF YOU


chim's in hell
@kisskise i'm opening new applications for ppl interested to be my best of friends. all of my friends are cancelled from here now on. 11:09 PM - 26 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise whatssssssupppppppppppp \o/

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring everyone and anyone but you

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise wowowow, theres no pain as painful as being rejected by your favorite author :(


jeonggukie

listen up jeon jeongguk
listen carefully
i need you to tell your best friend, teahyung aka, spill the tea @miyuspring on twitter to not open his big mouth and spread rumors about what i do on the internet
if the word gets out
i have an event planned

HYUNG
OMG
YOURE SO DRAMATIC SOMETIMES
ITS NOT LIKE YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL ON THE NET
BUT OK
i'll tell him that
now please
can we discuss about the legendary 14k pwp aokise with fisting bc
holyfuck
what a legendary fic
its the kind of fic that'll stay in my heart forever
its that good
how do you write so good

JEON JEONGGUUUUUUUUUUK

or we can talk about how victor and yuri's wedding will look like

......

or we can discuss about mitochondria

why would we discuss about mitochondria??????

i dunno
seems like the right thing to say at this moment

IHU
YOU'RE A DORK

you don't hate me
you love meeeeeeeee
*smooch smooch*

you're seriously so annoying
the block button looks so nice rn

YOU WOULDN'T

i actually would
[error: you cannot send any text to this number because you are fucking blocked]

'you're seriously so annoying' he says
when you're ten times more annoying!!!

[error: you cannot send any text to this number because you are fucking blocked]

HYUUUUUNG


tae-hyungie

ok listen up teahyung aka spill the tea @miyuspring on twt, if you open your big mouth about what jimin hyung do on the internet, he has an event planned
by the way
that's his words, not mine

IM JHBNV
WTAF
why does it sound like he's dealing some stuff in the black market

THATS WHAT I SAID

LMAOOO
also
pls tell ur jimin hyung that my name is taehyung
not teahyung
like pLSSS

ur name on twt has tea on it
so like whats ur point

ARE U ON MY SIDE OR HIS???

jimin hyung, duh
and fuck you, you were quick to expose me

that's what friends do u coconut head

LISTEN
THAT WAS ONE TIME!!!!!!!!!


chim's in hell
@kisskise in the middle of trying to fucking figure out this chemical equation and honestly, the idea of dropping everything and becoming a stripper is tempting. 03:54 AM - 27 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise maybe if you can just spell my name right, you would be able to solve it

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring T E A H Y U N G, i tried, still can't solve the problem bro

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise fvjngbnfnx ur sense of humor is so dry i love it. lets be friends so we can be dry together

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring i'd rather be moisturized

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise IM YELLING


tae-hyungie

listen
we gotta invite jimin to one of our anime marathon night

ok....
but why???

i need to be promoted from mutuals to friends

????????

stfu and just do it

honestly i feel attacked

Chapter Text

jeonggukie

you are cordially invited to an anime marathon night this Saturday. Your presence is highly anticipated and appreciated

i am confusion

we gonna have an anime marathon night
and i'm choosing which one we're watching

i get that part
what i don't get is why am i invited...

WHY WOULDN'T I INVITE YOU
I THOUGHT WE SHARED A BOND
and also bc taehyung hyung will choke me if i don't invite you bc apparently he wants to be promoted from mutuals to friends irl

im--
now i get why you guys are best friends

yea bc we're both cool
but i'm cooler tho
taehyung hyung is slightly lame

i'm rolling my eyes so hard right now

hehh
so what do you say, you in or not?

hmm
lemme think about it

but hYUNG
ITS GONNA BE FUN
we're gonna watch parasyte!!!!!!

so we're gonna watch every episode?

hyung you ask too many questions
but yes that's the plan
or we're just gonna watch it till we fall asleep

so its also gonna be a sleepover
i dunno.....

hyuuuuuung
pleasseeeeeeee
its gonna be funnnn

i don't know taehyung well
i don't even know you well enough
like what if i sneaked out of your dorm in the middle of the night and steal all of your stuff

pls
although we've only known each other for a little while i already trust you with my life

hmmmmmm
hmmmmmmmmmm

we're also gonna have pizza!!

ok i'm in!!!

damn
should have said pizza earlier
didn't know you're so easy to convince with food

i will never say no to free food

who says anything about free food???

you said there'll be pizza???????????

i mean yeah
doesn't mean its gonna be free
we will split the bill

fuck you for getting my hopes up

hyuuung we're broke college students
what do you expect??????

i'm cancelling your fucking ass

yea yea
i know you will come back running to me anyway

literally fuck off

can we bring back the time where you called me cute like a bunny
i prefer that jimin more

SRSLY SHUT UP

hehh
see you saturday hyung!!

i'm not coming

like i said
you will still come back running to me

you're so annoying

oof love this love-hate relationship we have going on between us
see you saturday night hyung ;))

凸(+_+}凸


chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring tell ur best friend to pay for my pizza 02:01 AM - 30 AUGUST 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise maybe u should consider writing him a fisting fic then maybe he'll consider ;)

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring i'm -- i shouldn't have asked

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise heheheh excited to see u this saturday ;)))

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring dunno if i share the same feeling tbh

Chapter Text

hobi hyung

where the fuck are you???
i'm outside ur dorm
i've been knocking on ur door for forever

WHY ARE U KNOCKING ON MY DOOR IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

BITCH
i need some peace and quiet bc i've been fucking sexiled

LMAO
i don't even pity u rn

ugh
srsly
where the fuck are you

i'm not in my dorm
jeongguk invited me to an anime marathon night

come again???????

WHY DO YOU SOUND SO IN DISBELIEF

nvm
nothing of importance
now i need you to open up your dorm room bc i am homeless for the night

BITCH I'M NOT AT HOME

THEN WHERE THE FUCK SHOULD I CRASH
COME ON JIMINIE
I AM FUCKING SLEEPY
AND TIRED
COME BACK
I NEED YOU

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW
AND JEONGGUK IS MAKING POPCORN
IT'LL BE RUDE IF I JUST LEAVE
WTF DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?

SO YOU'RE JUST GOING TO ABANDON ME IS IT

honestly i am so done with you
istg if u tell anyone i will murder you in ur sleep
there's a key under the vase at the side of my door

honey oh no
i'm surprised you didn't get robbed!!!
who on earth put an extra key somewhere obvious!!!!!

not so obvious when you can't find it

babe
jimin
you're stupid

you're calling a future doctor stupid

i know
and you're stupid

do u want me to kick u out?

lol
nice try
i'm going to sleep

ugh
shouldn't have told you where the key is and let you sleep outside

yea yea
whatever


spill the tea
@miyuspring GUYS I MET @kisskise LAST NIGHT and HES LITERALLY THE MOST CUTEST PERSON ON EARTH. HES SO TINY UWU 10:01 AM - 2 SEPTEMBER 2018

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring excuse me???????? I AM NOT TINY

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise YESH YOU ARE. ᵀᴵᴺʸ AND ˢᴹᴼᴸ AND ᶜᵁᵀᴱ. no wonder jeongguk's so taken with you uwu

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring u know the block button looks so fucking tempting

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise YOU WOULDN'T. WE HAVE A SPECIAL BOND. I CAN FEEL IT RIGHT THROUGH MY BONES.


jeonggukie

:(((
:((((((((

why.........

you just left last night :((
thought you would sleep over

ohh
lol sorry for not telling you
you were asleep
but i told tae
didn't he tell you??

yeah he told me :(
but i wanted to make u breakfast

um
that's nice of you
but i rlly had to go back
my best friend's staying in my dorm

okay :((

stOP GIVING ME SAD FACES YOU'RE MAKING ME FEEL BAD

:((((
:((((((((((
:(((((((((((((((

jeongguuuuuuuuuuuuuuk

send me ur selca :((
then i'll get rid of the sad face :(((

.... i don't see any sense or correlation whatsoever
why do u want my selca......

hyuuuuuuung :(((((
:(((((((

you're not getting any selca from me.

:(((((((((
:(((((((((((

wow so youre just gonna leave me on read
i see how it is
:(((((((((((((


jeonggukie


i'm regretting this already

WHEEZING
HAS ANYONE TOLD U THAT YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

uhhhhhhhh.........

oh shit
but you're srsly so beautiful tho
heh

thanks ig???

ur wellycome :)


hobi hyung

....
jeongguk just said that i'm beautiful
and mayhaps my heart fluttered

ohoooo
is this a crush i smell ;)

shut ur ball

TF I DO


tae-hyungie

LISTEN
I ASKED JIMIN HYUNG FOR A SELCA
AND HE SENT ME ONE
NOT JUST A SELCA

don't tell me u guys are sending in nudes already

WTF COURSE NOT
LET ME FINISH
ITS HIS SELCA WITH HIS FACE. AND HE HAS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FACE
AND I MAYHAPS FREAKED OUT A LITTLE
AND CALLED HIM BEAUTIFUL
AND NOW THINGS ARE A LIL AWKWARD

brooooo
send me this selca

NO WAY
that selca is for me and my eyes only
go away

OMG
SOMEONES CRUSHING SO HARD
DON'T BLAME U THO
JIMIN IS THE CUTEST

he really is :(((((((
now i'm sad again

JFVBVJBV
YOU HAVE TO TELL HIM

tell him what?
that he's cute?
done that already :(((

NO
TELL HIM THAT U LIKE HIM

i can't
:((((((((((((

WHY

i'm scared :(((((

ndjknsjknvj

:((((((

Chapter Text

tae-hyungie

ok
maybe i need some help
how do u actually tell someone u like them

do it the anime way

you are as helpful as a brick hyung

ITS TRUE
you watched a lot of anime
and anime boys know how to woo someone
LEARN FROM UR SENPAIS JEONGGUK
COME ON
GET IN WITH THE GAME

you're not making sense
I NEED REAL LIFE ADVICE

gASPS
pLS anime is as real as life

I HATE U
I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISES PLS

JUST TELL JIMIN U LIKE HIM
OR TEXT HIM
THAT'S WHAT MILENNIALS DO THESE DAYS

that sounds so half hearted

oH MY GOD
u want to knock him off of his feet is it?

i want him to like me too :((

u really have it bad huh

he's jus so cute :(
i've been staring at his selca :(
i want to like squish his cheeks, pinch his nose, kiss his forehead and maybe bite his cheek :(

FBJFJCMVK
SOMEONE'S IN LOVE

:((((((
u kno what
i miss him
i want to see his cute face again

..........
i can't make jimin poof out of thin air
..........
but texting him and asking him to hang out probably works

fjhjfvj
have i told u that things are a lil awkward between us????

why?
bc u told him hes beautiful??????

yea
and i dun think he likes how forward i am
maybe i need to tone down a bit

sigh
listen here jeonggukie
my lil baby bub

i am not your lil baby bub

MY LIL BABY BUB
maybe he feels awkward bc he likes u too????
i mean think about it

don't get my hopes up

I'M NOT
from what i remembered
he had said that you're cute too right???

yea ig :(((
but i think he's taking it back
bc i annoy him

bfvbfjnvf
can u pls not think negatively!!!!!
jimin's like iwaizumi and you're like oikawa
i bet my valuable ass that iwaizumi loves oikawa to death

why does this have to do with iwaizumi loving oikawa???
jimin doesn't even love me :(((

i'm done trying to get through that thick head of yours
text me back when you can finally think straight


yoongi hyung

ok
hyung
listen
from man to man
i need like legit advice

wdym from man to man
you're a fucking baby

I'M NOT A BABY

you are
now what advice do u want from me child

urghhh
i'm just gonna ignore that
bc i am desperate
how do u tell someone that u like them?

who is this someone

you don't know him
now answer the question

i need names

HYUNG SRSLY

names
or u won't be getting anything from me

.....
jimin
his name is jimin

so you want to tell this jimin dude that you like him

hfvjdv
YES

just tell him u like him

WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT SOUND SO EASY

because it is

YOU AND TAEHYUNG HYUNG ARE THE SAME
UNHELPFUL
GOODBYE

whatever
least i tried


dear mr. google, how to woo someone?


hobi hyung

something feels weird

what feels weird?

jeongguk hasn't texted me for like two days
weird

thats weird?
what's weird is why are u anticipating his text
.......
unless
u have a crush on him

lol bye

I BREATHED


tae-hyungie

i did something
pls wish me luck
I FUCKEN NEED IT

.......
what did you do?????

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
i feel like burying myself ten feet down the ground
fvbjvnjnvbv

dramatic ass
but good luck i guess

WHEEZINGGGGG


chim's in hell
@kisskise to the person who left a bouquet of flowers on my table. natural selection is coming for you bc i cannot stop fucking sneezing 12:18 PM - 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise fbvbfvbfvbjfvbfbv oh my god WAIT


tae-hyungie

did u do something like
putting flowers on jimin's table

yes
HOW DID U KNOW

I ---
CANT
EVEN
just know that natural selection is coming for you

WTAF?
HYUNG
WDYM
U CANT JUST LEAVE ME LIKE THIS

Chapter Text

tae-hyungie

so
jiminie hyung has a pollen allergy
i fucked up big time

ding ding
you are correct
and how did u know
*squints*

i stalked his twitter
he really said natural selection is coming for me
:((
there goes my chance
its nice knowing you while it lasted

i thought you deactivated twitter
*squints*

I DID
i may or may not made a new account
but that's beside the point!!!
jiminie hyung can't stop sneezing!!
bc of the flowers i gave him!!
to make matters worst i gave him a sunflower!!!!
that shit's literally the worst for people suffering flower allergy
I HOPE HE'S OKAY
now i feel bad

i cant even
this is a mess
for starters, you should say sorry

THAT WILL LITERALLY GIVE ME AWAY
he's gonna hate me so much

to make you feel better
you don't know he has those allergies to begin with
i mean, you're just trying to woo him off his feet
which doesn't work
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GIVE HIM A LETTER OR SOMETHING
or chocolates
no one is allergic to chocolates

wow
you suck at this comforting business
AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE LACTOSE INTOLERANT AND THUS CAN ONLY EAT CERTAIN TYPES OF CHOCOLATE YOU DOOFUS
and letters???
what is this?
high school???

EXCUSE ME
if someone wrote me a love letter i would be flustered as heck
i mean
COME ON
AS IF GIVING HIM FLOWERS AND PUTTING IT ON HIS TABLE ISN'T HIGH SCHOOL BEHAVIOR

high school behavior????
ok honestly we need to focus on the problem at hand
STOP GETTING OFF TOPIC AND HELP YOUR BEST FRIEND FOR GOODNESS SAKE

i dunno what to do bro
but saying sorry is srsly on top of that list

you're not being helpful one bit!!!

WHO TOLD U TO GIVE FLOWERS YOU FUCKER

FUCKING GOOGLE SAID IT
if anything
natural selection should go for mr. fucking google

FHBVJFDNVN
I CANT
YOU GOOGLED HOW TO WOO YOUR CRUSH
AM I RITE
I CANT BREATH
WHY DOES THIS FEEL LIKE IM LIVING IN A SHOUNEN AI
I HATE YOU

STFU
IHU TOO

im fucking wheezing
you're honestly so adorable jeonggukie
trust me
jimin will like you
even though you nearly get him killed bc of flowers

SO WHAT SHOULD I DO

honesty is the best policy

WE'RE BACK TO SQUARE ONE
JUST SHUT UR MOUTH

i won't say anything
but
what's ur twitter @

im not telling you

well then
your loss
you just lost a one good ass follower

i don't need your pity follow

THE AUDACITY


spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise update me on your well being. have you stopped sneezing??? 11:09 PM - 8 SEPTEMBER 2018

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring its been two days.......... of course i've stopped sneezing. but my nose still feel tingly tho

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise THATS GOOD TO KNOW. STAY AWAY FROM FLOWERS.

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring thats what i've been doing all my life.... until one fucker decides its a good idea to put fucking sunflowers on my table

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise dont be mean :(( i bet the person has good intentions, he probably doesn't know you have an allergy

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring i know that but a tip if that person wants to sweep me off my feet maybe they can like pay off my tuition or something

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise HGFVHBFJVBJFV ARE YOU TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF A SUGAR DADDY


tae-hyungie

DONT WORRY MY CHILD
JIMIN IS FINE

I KNOW THAT
I READ UR TWEETS

ok honestly
you're being a lil creepy
sneaking up on my tweets and jimin
JUST GIVE ME UR FUCKING @

NO
i want to stay as anon as possible
AND I CANNOT BELIEVE HE CALLED ME A FUCKER
AND WHERE THE FUCK WOULD I BE ABLE TO FIND THAT MUCH MONEY TO PAY OFF HIS STUDENT DEBT
IM IN DEBT MYSELF

hes just joking you ass!!!!

i know that!!!
but i can still feel it kicking at my heart
i should just get on one knee and lay all of my feelings at him
u know
i can't believe he's allergic to flowers
when he literally looks like a flower
so precious and so pretty
i am sad
i miss him :((
i want to see him

YOU SHOULD NEVER GET ON ONE KNEE UNLESS YOU'RE GOING TO ASK HIS HAND IN MARRIAGE

maybe i should do just that

jimin will slap you on the face

maybe it'll hurt less

IM SO DONE
you've been ignoring him
fbhvfbv
JUST
TALK
TO
HIM
or i will

BUT HOW

approach him
open your mouth
and articulate words with that big brain of yours
easy peasy like fucking lemon squeezy

ok but

no fucking buts
get on with it


hobi hyung

something weird just happened

it's always something weird happening to you

oh shut it
jeongguk and i are lab partners
so we sit together
but he's ignoring me and he's sitting at the back with some stranger
its weird....

are you jealous????

shut your fucking balls
hes ignoring me is my point
and idek why
he doesn't text me
hes been acting weird
its fucking weird

say weird one more time

weird

ugh
the question is
why are you not texting him????
ask him what the shit is wrong

huh
how do i do that

honestly i am so done with you
i'd rather hear seokjin hyung cracking up some lame dad jokes than putting up with you and your one brain cell

hyung
that was a serious question
hyung????
hobi hyung???
wow
okay
just leave me on read go ahead


jeonggukie

hello

oh look
speaking of the devil
he's finally breathing

um
what??

as if i dont know that youve been ignoring me
listen
ur eyes may be bigger than mine
but i can see everything

HYUNG
OMG
OK LISTEN
IM SO SORRY
I DIDNT KNOW YOU WERE ALLERGIC TO FLOWERS
PLS DON'T KILL ME

wait
tf???
IT WAS YOU WHO GAVE ME THE SUNFLOWERS???

WAIT
U DIDN'T KNOW???

OF COURSE I DIDN'T KNOW
UNTIL YOU BLURTED THAT OUT
I CANNOT STOP FUCKING SNEEZING
WHAT DO YOU MEAN KILL YOU??
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTS TO KILL ME WITH YOUR PRETTY SUNFLOWERS

ohmygod
i fucked up
hfvbjvjvncvf
IM JUST GONNA BE
GONE

GET UR ASS BACK HERE JEON JEONGGUK
I AM NOT FINSIHED
JEONGGUK
JEONGGUK
WOW
so this is how its gonna be huh


tae-hyungie

I AM FINISHED

now what did u do now

I AM JUST FINISHED

hmm
coherent

Chapter Text

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring tell ur best friend to stop ignoring me and reply my goddamn texts. 01:19 PM - 11 SEPTEMBER 2018


tae-hyungie

jimin said to stop ignoring him
and reply to his goddamn texts

I FUCKED UP

can u pls tell me what happened exactly so i know the fucking context??
or i'll just come up with a conclusion that you're just being a dick for ignoring him

ok listen!!!
i fucked up big time
sometimes my big mouth doesn't know when to shut up
BUT i really thought he knew it was me who gave him the flowers
TURNS OUT
it was just all in my head
and i somehow outed myself
and now he hates me

well
thats
i don't really know what to say
but you're just ignoring him like that?????

what else was i supposed to do??????

well, can't you like uh
i dunno
EXPLAIN YOURSELF??????

im as coherent as a goldfish
my brain refuses to cooperate and i somehow forgot the difference between a permeable and impermeable membrane
LIKE HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO ACT IN THAT SITUATION
istg, i need a manual on this

i hate to break it to you
but i've been giving you manuals since the day you were born
you just refused to acknowledge it and let your insecurity gets the best of you
jimin doesn't hate you!!!
so man up and explain yourself

but :((
what if he doesn't like me back :(

so??????
its not like its going to be the end of the world
you won't know until you try

wow
who are you and what have you done to my best friend

bitch pls
i have so many words of wisdom in this big brain of mine

you should put it in use more often

the audacity you have after i tried to help you through a crises
and this is how you repay me!!!

hehe
you know im just joking
i wuv you hyung ♡

gross
but i love you too anyway

you have no choice but to love me

you are absolutely right
feeling a little bit better now?

yes!!

so i assumed you are going to explain yourself to jimin?

um
on a second thought

JEONGGUK

OK OK I WILL
i just need to build up some courage

sometimes i really want to smack you

hyung i think i need some liquid courage

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO TALK TO HIM DRUNK

but

no buts
jimin is waiting for you
GO TEXT HIM

ok ok ok i will
just need to wash my sheets for a sec

im heavy sighing
IM RLLY SIGHING HEAVILY AT YOU RIGHT NOW


spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise my best friend said he needs to build up courage before he can text you. dunno how long its gonna be 02:45 PM - 11 SEPTEMBER 2018

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring tell ur best friend that my patience is as thin as ice so he better get chopping


tae-hyungie

just text jimin pls
i hate being the middle man
just kiss and makeup while you guys are at it
its already obvious he likes you too
SO GET ON WITH IT

HYUNG

[you cannot text this number until you have text jimin}

UNBELIEVABLE

[you cannot text this number until you have text jimin]

YOU ARE SO ANNOYING

TEXT JIMIN

OK I WILL
if things gets worser
im blaming you

trust me
miyuki have told me personally that things will go your way
you gotta put trust on my son

I RLLY HATE YOU


jiminie hyung

honestly
you're just srsly going to ignore me huh
JEONGGUK
JEON JEONGGUK

h-hello

oh there he is
you have a lot of explaining to do

i knoowww :(
and im sorry :((

ok so talk

i don't rlly know where to start
im nervous af
fbvjfv

its just me
theres nothing to be nervous about!!

EXACTLY
its because you're you that i am so nervous about
i don't want you to hate me

jeongguk
listen
i don't hate you

oh
so you don't??

nope

even after i give you those sunflowers and made you sneeze so hard?

yeah
even after that

but you called me a fucker and said that natural selection is coming for me :(

ok listen
that was slightly mean of me
but that was my ass talking
or my sneeze talking
because my nose was itchy af!!!

oh :((
im so sorry hyung
i didn't know you have pollen allergy

yeah
i know
and im sorry too

so... we're good??

yeah
but one more thing
why did you give me flowers?

uhhhhhhh
uuuuuummmmmmmmm
uuuuummmmmm because
because

JEONGGUK

but pls don't hate me ok?

why would i hate you???
i can never hate you

oh ok
that's good to know

yeah
so
why?

i am honestly too sober for this
but fuck it
i know my son miyuki would be proud of me
i gave you the flowers
bc
i like you

um
wait
just
give me a moment


hobi hyung

BITCH
I WANT TO SCREAM
JEONGGUK JUST SAID THAT HE LIKES ME
AAAAAAAAAAAA

thats good
now you can say you like him too

YOU RIGHT
BRB

this character development
i support


jeonggukie

um
hyung?
hello?
ok im getting slightly anxious now
PLS DONT HATE ME
I RLLY LIKE YOU

OK SHUT IT FOR A SECOND
I DON'T HATE YOU
I MEAN WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY IS
I LIKE YOU TOO

WAIT
YOU DO?
NOT LIKE AS IN LIKE IN THE FRIEND WAY RIGHT?
LIKE AS IN LIKE LIKE RIGHT?
LIKE YOU WOULD DEFINITELY GO ON A DATE WITH ME RIGHT?

um i mean
i would really like it if you could like take me out on a date

OH
OHHHH
OKAY

okay??

yes
okay
i will definitely take you out on a date

oh
well
thats cool

very cool

honestly youre lame
lets get back to talking about anime

GOOD IDEA
BUT THAT DATE IS STILL ON

sure


tae-hyungie

JIMIN HYUNG WANTS ME TO TAKE HIM OUT ON A DATE
EVERYONE STAND UP AND SCREAAAAAM

bless my soul

Chapter Text

[snsd's voice] the boys

hobi hyung
i have come bearing news

namjoonie hyung
good news i hope

hobi hyung
nothing but good news!
guess who just scored himself a date??

namjoonie hyung
uh
you??

jinnie hyung
hobi
which poor guy did you manage to sweet talk into agreeing to go on a date with you??

hobi hyung
wowowowow
this insult!!!
if anything
any guy who go on a date with me is lucky

namjoonie hyung
you know
jin hyung is right

hobi hyung
I HATE YOU BOTH
but no
its not me
JIMIN'S THE ONE WHO SCORED HIMSELF A DATE

namjoonie hyung
jimin who?
which jimin are we talking about here?

jinnie hyung
jimin???
you mean our jimin??
the jimin who had sworn to celibacy for the rest of his life???
OUR JIMIN???

hobi hyung
i am rolling on the floor laughing at these reactions
APPARENTLY
YES
ITS OUR JIMIN

jinnie hyung
HOLY
I GUESS HE HAD SEEN THE LIGHT

namjoonie hyung
OUR PARK JIMIN??????

hobi hyung
YES
AND THE GUY IS ACTUALLY CUTE

jinnie hyung
like me cute??

hobi hyung
i hate to break it to you hyung but he's actually cuter than you

jinnie hyung
THE DISRESPECT
PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN

hobi hyung
hfbvbnbmvcn
brb
im gonna do some digging

namjoonie hyung
hyung i think its time to come to terms that there are people more attractive than you

jinnie hyung
dunno what you're saying
in my world i am the fairest of them all

namjoonie hyung
whatever floats your boat i guess

ok
what the fuck is happening

jinnie hyung
YOU GOT YOURSELF A DATE AND DIDN'T BOTHER TO TELL US
THATS WHATS HAPPENING

in my defense
its not something important enough to tell you guys??
i mean its just a date????
AND WHY ARE YOU GUYS ACTING LIKE I HAVE NEVER GONE ON A DATE BEFORE
I HATE ALL OF YOU

namjoonie hyung
actually
you have never gone on a date before

jinnie hyung
namjoon is right
did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed??

AND HOW WOULD YOU KNOW THAT I HAVE NEVER GONE ON A DATE BEFORE??

namjoonie hyung
if you have gone on a date before
then hobi would have blasted the group chat long ago

jinnie hyung
NAMJOON'S POINT

i really hate you guys

hobi hyung
SO THIS IS THE GUY

OH HEY JIMIN

WHAT THE FUCK
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT
WHAT THE FUCK

jinnie hyung
ohhhhhhhhh
well he is really cuteeeeee

namjoonie hyung
his eyes are so big
what an adorable pudding

hobi hyung
I TOLD YA'LL
JIMIN GOT SOME GAME

JFVJBVNBVBFNB
ARE ALL OF YOU JUST GOING TO IGNORE ME
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT PIC
YOU CREEPY FUCKER

hobi hyung
IN MY DEFENSE
ITS NOT THAT HARD TO SEARCH HIS NAME ON INSTAGRAM

I HATE ALL OF YOU

namjoonie hyung
so when is this date???

jinnie hyung
yeah when is this date

thats none of your business

hobi hyung
don't worry
i'll update you guys when's the date
jimin tells me everything

i am never going to tell you anything anymore

hobi hyung
pfftcch
lets see how long you're gonna last


yoongi hyung

a little bird told me that you have finally told the jimin dude that you like him

why are you calling taehyung little bird
its weird

can i pls smack you

yeah sure
if you can get your hand through your phone screen

don't try to sass me
so you have told him??

the little bird is right!!

bless up!
so are you both boyfriends now?

BOYFRIENDS
mayhaps my heart flutter

rolls my eyes

but not yet!!!
but he will sooner or later heh
need to take him out on a date first

huh cool

heh

happy for you

aww
are you turning soft on me?

shut the fuck up

and he is back


jiminie hyung ♡

are you still up?

hello jiminie hyung ♡
its like 2am of course im still up

oh
okay

what's up?
why are you still not sleeping?

i'm studying for my chem test tomorrow
and my head hurts
and i am hungry
wanna grab some junk food?

take it easy pls :(
you should get some sleep
as much as i would love to indulge you and get you junk food you need to eat real food

says the person who is still not sleeping
and theres literally nothing to eat here
im hungry :((

i have assignments to finish
but um
jiminie hyung
i have some leftover food that yoongi hyung cooked for me
do you want to come over?

oooh
who is yoongi hyung?

a close friend who is surprisingly good at cooking

thats nice
i wish i have friends who would want to cook for me

i know how to cook
a little

ohhh
you should cook something for me sometime

i definitely will!!!
so?
wanna come over?
i'll heat the food up for you

you wouldn't mind right?

OF COURSE I WOULDN'T MIND

okkk
i'll come over in a bit

see youuuuu
and be careful pls!!

your dorm is just a five minute walk away

BUT STILL

you're ridiculous
see you in a bit!!


tae-hyungie

mayday mayday
SOS
jimin hyung is sleeping on my bed and he looks so fucking adorable
IM SUFFERING FROM HEART PALPITATION

its fucking 4am

so?????
JIMIN HYUNG IS ADORABLE
HELP
i want to kiss his forehead

i am too sleepy for this
but go right ahead

Chapter Text

chim's in hell
@kisskise i woke up in a warm cuddle thats so fucking comfortable that i almost forgot i have a chem test i have to be in 07:18 AM - 16 SEPTEMBER 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise oooooooooooo scandalous


taehyungie hyung

look at you
you're out here cuddling up with jiminie
i raise you well

fhvbfvhbfvb
IM SO HAPPY
I COULD CRY LIKE RN
who would have thought!!!!

exactly
who would have thought!!
jimin is perfect
and youre just you

THIS BLASPHEMY

you know im joking!!!!
im happy for you
huhuhuhuhu

I MISS HIM ALREADY
WHAT DO I DO
and i cannot believe he legit came to my dorm smelling like baby powder
I DON'T WANT TO EVER LET HIM GO
I WANT TO SMOOCH HIS CHEEKS
and HUG HIM UNTIL HE'S ALL CONTENT AND HAPPY
HEL P
WHAT IS THIS FEELING

what kind of sugary confection did you eat
why are u being all fluffy

blame jiminie hyung!!!
HE PUTS HEARTS IN MY EYES
uGH


spill the tea
@miyuspring i have one overly fluffy bunny up for adoption, you just need to deal with his overbearing heart eyes 10:45 AM - 16 SEPTEMBER 2018

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring WHERE IS THIS BUNNY

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise I WANT TO CHOKE


jeonggukie

hello jiminie hyung
how was ur chem test??

i pulled out chemical equations out of my ass
other than that, as fine as fine goes

i'm sure it's gonna be okay
you did great!!!

thank youu!!
i hope so too tbh

want to go out for awhile?
to release some stress?

*squints*
are you trying to take me out on a date?

NO
I MEAN
I WANT TO
BUT NOT NOW
I HAVE TO PREPARE SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR OUR FIRST DATE

whoaaa
you know its just gonna be a date
you don't have to prepare something so extravagant
a date with you is already going to be so special

im--
screaming
my heart went *doki doki*

YOU JUST HAVE TO GO THERE HUH


chim's in hell
@kisskise mayhaps my future boyfriend is so fucking adorable 11:50 AM - 16 SEPTEMBER 2018


jeonggukie

so.....
future boyfriend huh?

WHAT

you just tweeted
'mayhaps my future boyfriend is so fucking adorable'
;)

sometimes
i forgot that taehyung followed me on twitter

who said anything about taehyungie hyung telling me what you just tweeted
;)

WHAT

put two and two together hyung ;))

its four

what four?

when you put two and two together, its four

sbhbvfvfv
ihu and your dry sense of humor

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED ME

I DO
PLS
LIKE SO MUCH

GOOD

soooo
future boyfriend?

drop your twitter @ so i can block you

NEVER

i'll just ask taehyung then

good luck
cus he doesn't know my @ too
*blows fingernails*

so you're just an egg account huh?

EGG ACCOUNT
PLS
MY ACCOUNT IS AESTHETIC

SURE
i believe you jan

NNNNNNNN
can't believe im going to take out someone on a date who calls me jan

ITS A JOKE

i know
and it suck

thought you'd appreciate a meme

you just have to go there huh

weeeeeeeeell

ANYWAY
we're going to watch a movie
and then grab some pizza
how does that sound?

sounds nice
lets get some ice cream too after

awww
anything for my jiminie hyung

pftch

you're blushing right??
i made your heart flutter right???
awwww my jiminie hyung being all flustered uwu

STFU

my jiminie hyung ♡♡♡♡♡♡


chim's in hell
@kisskise petition for jeongguk to stop being annoying 01:59 PM - 16 SEPTEMBER 2018

Chapter Text

taehyungie hyung


look how cute we are uwu

gROSS
ya'll look like emo boyfriends from 2008
but you guys know how to smile

SHUT UP


hobi hyung


hehehe

DID U JUST HEHEHE'D AT ME

what if i did??

never thought i'd see the day where you're whipped for a boy that isn't an anime character

you sounded like i have never had a crush on real people
i'm rolling my eyes at you

you always only just find guys attractive and thats just that??
not too strong to be called a crush
you're all heart eyes for jeonggukie its ridiculous

IM NOT ALL HEART EYES FOR HIM PLS

keep denying it but i can still see your heart eyes from a 1km radius

i mean like
he is c u t e
s ooo

W H I P P E D
like look at that picture you look like a fool in love
i rest my case

shut your balls

for the last time
that is such a weird thing to say


[snsd's voice] the boys

hobi hyung
gukmin news ur way
yesterday, jimin is seen going to a movie with jeongguk in hongdae. the two is seen snuggled up with each other.
here's a photo

and they both look so happy

jinnie hyung
awwwww
young loveeeeeeee

namjoonie hyung
uh
did you stalked them??

hobi hyung
of course not the fuck
its a joke
i need me some ~dramatic flair~

namjoonie hyung
ahhh i gets it
but yeah they are both so cuteeee
but i think jiguk is the better ship name don't you think?

hobi hyung
gASPS
u rlly think jimin is a top???

namjoonie hyung
uhhhh
what does that have to do with a ship name????

hobi hyung
oh my poor innocent hyung
you have a lot to learn

namjoonie hyung
????

jinnie hyung
im cackling

I HATE YOU ALL

hobi hyung
hello there jiminie :D

YOU TRAITOR
THE AUDACITY

namjoonie hyung
hey jiminie
jiguk is better than gukmin right?

IM NOT ANSWERING THAT
im disowning all of you

jinnie hyung
my chest just clenched so hard because i am laughing so hard

hobi hyung
THE IMAGERY IM GETTING JIN HYUNG
SHUT UP

i srsly need new friends

hobi hyung
pls we are all you have

wrong
i have jeonggukie

jinnie hyung
AWWWWW

hobi hyung
SAP

namjoonie hyung
aw

namjoon hyung
you sound so insincere

namjoonie hyung
*clears throat*
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
UUUUUWWWWWWWUUUUUUUUUUU

[jimin left the group chat]


taehyungie hyung

what do you think of a picnic as a first date?

very cute

thanks for ur input sir


yoongi hyung

what do you think of a picnic as a first date

fucking cliche

wow
ok
thanks for ur input

well thats just my opinion


jeonggukie

hyung
hyung
wanna hear some cute pick up line?

depends
is it science related again?
if yes
no thanks

I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THE SCIENCE PICK UP LINE

ha ha ha
you've been deceived

but no
this is not a science pick up line
i swear its cute
your heart is 100% going to flutter
and you will fall for me
i guarantee

what's ur success rate?

zero
bc i've never just say pick up line to someone other than you
heh

pftch
i swear if its like 'if you were a booger i'll pick u up' shit i will leave ur ass
i refused to be compared to a booger

fhvbnfjvnjf
hyung
trust me its cute ;)

whatever you say

do you know what my shirt is made of?

how the fuck should i know??

HYUNG
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO ANSWER THAT

what????

IT WAS PART OF THE PICK UP LINE

HOW TF SHOULD I KNOW
AND HOW IS THAT EVEN A PART OF A PICK UP LINE
i can already tell that its horrible
WHY WUD ANYONE EVEN USE A PICK UP LINE

shhhhhhh
you're gonna like this

ok fine
im gonna give u a chance
so what is your shirt made of?

boyfriend material ;)

i don't see the logic

fhvjvbjvnf
just play along!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU'RE THE WORST

i'm not the one saying that their shirt is made out of boyfriend material

IM SENDING
ok so next
u better not ruined this for me

FINE

are you a florist?
because ever since i met you, my life has been rosey ;)

i have a pollen allergy
in case u forgot

FFS
OKAY I GIVE UP
LEMME JUST SAY
CAN I PLS HOLD UR HAND SO I CAN TAKE U OUT ON A DATE?

let me think for a second

NNNNNN
1
TIMES UP

YOU'RE SO ANNOYING
OK FINE
I'LL GO TO THAT DATE WITH YOU

NICE
I'LL PICK U UP ON SATURDAY 6PM SHARP


taehyungie hyung

UR BOY JUST GOT HIMSELF A CUTE ASS DATE

OK
don't forget protection

FUCK YOU

Chapter Text

hobi hyung

i need help

is this fit okay?

or this one?

hmm first one
cus its simple and looks a little classy, can never go wrong with a white shirt and jeans

you're right
the first one is better

oooo someone's going on a date

obviously
when else would u ever see me not in my sweatpants and putting this much effort?

truth
jeongguk's going to get his dick hard

OK AND NOW I AM GOING

before you go!!!!!!!!
HOW TF DARE YOU EXIT THE BOYS™
RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

I WAS JUST PLAYING AROUND
and teaching ya'll a lesson

you??
trying to teach us a lesson??
UNREALISTIC
jsyk we're gonna play hard to get
u're gonna have to beg to be added back on the gc

fine by me

wow
never would i see the day that you're gonna BEG

who said anything about begging?

wow
you're a bad bitch
this is why we're bffs


[snsd's voice] the boys

[hobi hyung added you]

i didn't even have to beg
the power that i hold

hobi hyung
your bad bitchery is what this gc deserves

namjoonie hyung
agree

jinnie hyung
agree x2

ya'll can't go a day without my presence gracing this gc
admit it

hobi hyung
i have to teach some kids ballet
bye

namjoonie hyung
i gotta cook

jinnie hyung
i need to fix my shoe

:)
i have great friends
GIVE ME COMPLIMENTS U FUCKERS


taehyungie hyung

!!!!!!!!
i'm on my way to pick jiminie hyung
give me some words of wisdom

go get 'em tiger

not what i'm expecting
but better than nothing


jeonggukie

hello
i'm on my way to ur dorm
hehe
just a heads up

WAIT WHAT???
I'M STILL NOT READY
WHY ARE U EARLY

HYUNG
its 2 minutes to six!!!
i am on time!!!!

oh god ok
just wait a sec!!
i need to dry my hair out!!1
and put on my pants or whatever
JUST WAIT OUTSIDE

i'm here already
but take ur time hyung!!

ok fsdvfd

hyung
i heard something crashing in there
u alright??

fucking peachy


spill the tea
@miyuspring an hour into gukmin's date and ig everything's going well considering how my phone is silent af 07:15 PM - 25 SEPTEMBER 2018


hobi hyung

so i assume the date went well considering its almost 12am and you are still not bombing my notifications

HYUNG
i need a breather
bc holy fuck
i didn't know dates can be so amazing?????

that literally sounded like someone who has only been to like ONE good date
do i have to remind u the guy that i once went on a date with who demanded me to pay for his meal????
like wtf does he think i am?
his sugar daddy???

SHUT UP
don't wanna hear about ur bad dates
when mine was just so good
CAN U BELIEVE HE PREPARED US A PICNIC UNDER THE STARS????
well not rlly stars cus u can't technically see stars here but still!!!!!
OH MY GOD
jeongguk is the sweetest icb
he won
he literally won

omfg
sounds like some romance anime i once watched
jeongguk is actually doing some effort
ig he really likes you huh?

ig he rlly rlly likes me huh :((((
can u believe he gives me compliments like every minute????
just like what i deserve!!!!!!
bless the universe
it has given me the best boy
and wait!!1
have i told u that his eyes shines!!! it practically shine and glint under the fucking moonlight!!!
LIKE HOW
im ded
i want to see him again
i miss him already

uihffjvhbuihvf
NOT EVERYDAY PARK JIMIN IS LIKE THIS
I NEED TO WRITE THIS DOWN
THIS SOME FUCKIN HISTORY HAPPENING RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES


jeonggukie ♡♡

hello hyung ♡
just arrive at my dorm ♡♡
i really enjoyed tonight
had a great time spending it with you
hope u had fun too!!

hellooo
thank you for tonight!!
i rlly enjoyed it!!!!
tysm jeonggukie ♡

AAAHHHH
don't mention it
u deserve nothing but the best

you're srsly going to make my heart melt if you keep going at this rate

\o/
i considered that a success ;)
so ig there'll be a second date huh?

hmm
lemme think about it

pftch
keep playing

;)


chim's in hell
@kisskise i just wanted to thank the universe for giving me the best boy, bless up 01:08 AM - 27 SEPTEMBER 2018


jeonggukie ♡♡

so i'm the best boy?
;)

ok you stalking my twitter is starting to get creepy
drop ur handle already!!!!!!!

no way
its more fun this way

pftch
two can play at this game


chim's in hell
@kisskise to the person that shall not be named, you won't ever get a kiss from me if u don't reveal urself 01:48 AM - 27 SEPTEMBER 2018


jeonggukie ♡♡

HYUNG
YOU CAN'T PLAY ME LIKE THAT

the ball's in ur hand now
*blows nails*

fgvjfbhgryvhfb

Chapter Text

sOFT
@jmluv hellooo i want kissiessssssss @kisskise 03:48 AM - 27 SEPTEMBER 2018


jeonggukie ♡♡

icb you fell for that

wait
were u lying abt the kissies?
:((
u can't do this to me
after i've given up my aninomity
exposing myself to the world
name a sad story than this
i'll wait
oh wait
there's none
cuz you lying abt giving me kissies hurts to the seventh hell :((

GO TO SLEEP U DRAMATIC ASS

wow
i thought our first date went well
and here, i thought you're gonna shower me with kisses
but that's all just a lie huh

if u don't shut up u can kiss those kisses goodbye

'kiss those kisses goodbye'
the irony!!!!!

GOOD NIGHT

bUT KISSES
I NEED SOME SORT OF CONFIRMATION
DON'T LEAVE ME IN THE DARK

fuckin fine i'll give u kisses!

nais
SO WHEN?

when what?

when u going to give me kisses?
dUH

do i need to make an appointment to kiss you???

uh YEA
so i can prepare myself, mentally and spiritually
LIKE U CAN'T JUST SPRING OUT OF NOWHERE AND KISS ME
UNLESS IF U WANT TO GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK

i don't think thats how kisses work
kisses are unplanned
like ffs did u not watch any romance movie in ur life???
do they plan when they're going to kiss??
idt couples plan when they want to kiss
they just kiss
when the moment is right
ICB IM EVEN EXPLAINING THIS TO U

cOUPLES???
oJO
ARE WE A COUPLE JIMINIE HYUNG?

after my thorough explanation that's the only thing you focus on
i'm gonna kiss u without a fucking warning
watch me

ooooo
im scared oooooooooo

DO NOT TEST ME

ok
im scared
pLS HAVE MERCY ON MY POOR HEART

GOOD NIGHT FOR REAL

BUT WHENS THE KISSIES

i SAID NIGHT

ok fine
GOOD NIGHT
SWEET DREAMS
DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

I GIVE U 16 HEARTS AND ALL I GET IS 1 HEART
THIS INJUSTICE

GO TO BED
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡


spill the tea
@miyuspring @jmluv genuine question does 'jm' in ur handle stands for jimin? 09:09 AM - 27 SEPTEMBER 2018

sOFT
@jmluv @miyuspring it stands for whatever it is you want it to be

spill the tea
@miyuspring @jmluv this vagueness ooooooofff

chim's in hell
@kisskise @jmluv @miyuspring then i want 'jm' to stand for jimin

sOFT
@jmluv @kisskise @miyuspring then 'jm' is jimin then ♡

spill the tea
@miyuspring @jmluv @kisskise ya'll are disgusting


spill the tea
@miyuspring @jmluv and @kisskise are the cutest lil shits on this bird app. all of u can just go home 9:49 AM - 27 SEPTEMBER 2018

Chapter Text

sOFT
@jmluv i am @kisskise's best boy. this has been a psa 09:48 AM - 29 SEPTEMBER 2018

chim's in hell
@kisskise @jmluv why are u being so loud for

sOFT
@jmluv @kisskise just needed to get the message across


jeonggukie ♡♡

jiminie hyungggg
where are uuuuu
the prof's already hereeeeeeee
did u overslept again????

fhghrncvn fml
I THOUGHT OUR CLASS IS IN THE AFTERNOON
SO I JUST WOKE UP
COVER FOR ME
say i'm rescuing a cat or sumn

ICB
OUR BIO CLASS IS ALWAYS IN THE MORNING

LISTEN
PPL MAKE MISTAKES
now leave me alone
i'm abt to fucking sprint

BE CAREFUL


taehyungie hyung

IM MALFUNCTIONING

why are u malfunctioning

my right cheek had been kissed by the best pair of lips ever

i don't need to know that

WELL I NEED SOMEONE TO LEAN ON BC IM MALFUNCTIONING
LIKE HOW DO U MOVE ON FROM THAT
i want jimin to kiss me forever

gROSS

YOU DON'T GET IT
that's why you're being an anti

IM NOT AN ANTI
ya'll are just so gROSS

we're not!!!
jimin hyung is cute
and jimin hyung said i am also cute
and that makes us cute

this is exactly what i meant when i say ya'll are gROSS


jeonggukie ♡♡

icb you just spring that kiss on me outta nowhere
shud have seen it coming when it took u like a minute late to enter ur room
u srsly want me to have a heart attack is it???
and die before i even get to ask u to be my boyfriend

IT WAS JUST A KISS ON THE CHEEK

JUST A KISS ON THE CHEEK THAT MADE MY HEART WENT INTO OVERDRIVE
istg i busted the fattest of uwus
i feel all tingly
HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

huh its gonna be interesting when i get to kiss u on the lips then

SAY WHAT

great things are coming ur way

i swear that sounded like an ad i've watched somewhere

hgfbrunvfjdvnhnj

also hyung
lets watch daiya no ace together
then u can kiss me on the lips after

pftch
ask me to be ur boyfriend first
brave of you to ask me to kiss you on the lips when you're already freaking out over a simple cheek kiss

why don't u ask me to be ur boyfriend first???
and for the record!!! i won't freak out this time around cus i'll be super prepared!!!

you gotta ask me
yeah lets see how 'prepared' you are
and you ask me first
YOU

you

no. you.

YOU

in my defense
at the beginning of the text u said: 'and die before i even get to ask u to be my boyfriend'
so in conclusion, u were gonna ask me first
why you playing like this

all in the name of fun

well if i said no, lets see how thats fun to you

YOU WOULDN'T
you like me too much already for u to say no

how can u be so confident

i just am
*mwah*

◔_◔


chim's in hell
@kisskise tap like if you think @jmluv should ask me to be his boyfriend first 9:49 PM - 30 SEPTEMBER 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise @jmluv why does who's asking who first matter?

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring @jmluv your best friend said its all in the name of fun

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise @jmluv pfffffftttt maybe you should say no and see how that's fun

chim's in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring @jmluv that's what i said too ooooff

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise @jmluv great minds do think alike

sOFT
@jmluv @miyuspring @kisskise yeah guys go and talk about me as if you didn't tag me in this convo


hobi hyung

jeongguk is so adorable
my almost boyfriend is so adorable
i win in life

'almost boyfriend'

he still needs to ask me
didn't know why it took him so long though
pftch

you guys only... like have gone on like one date??

ur point????

i thought u would want to know him more before putting on a label on ur relationship

babe i once wrote a one night stand fic where they profess their love to each other while fucking

WHY DOES UR CHARACTER ALWAYS MAKE BAD DECISIONS
also one night stand????? as in they fuck for the first time and profess their love for each other all in one night?????
honey
don't do that

MY FIC MY DECISIONS
but they were friends before they decided to fuck anyway

im getting a headache
sO they were pining for each other already???

yeaaaa

well thats a mess
did they get their happy ending in the end?

WELL DUH
i can't write sad-endings
my heart is too soft

you know..... maybe u should consider letting...
me read ur fics........
i'm in a drought

NO

BUT U LET JEONGGUK READ UR FICS

by accident!!!
besides, he already knows my fandom handle
not like i can stop him
its out in the open already

excuses but
fine
bc i'm sucha great friend who respects his friend's privacy ◔_◔
im just gonna settle down with the sherlock fandom then

YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE SAME FANDOM AS ME TO BEGIN WITH
why do u even wanna read my fics

MY LIFE MY DECISIONS

Chapter Text

[snsd's voice] the boys

jinnie hyung
GUYS
i made a reservation at this new restaurant for tomorrow night
anyone wanna come with?

namjoonie hyung
can't i'm busy the whole week
ask the two college kids

jinnie hyung
damn
good luck joon
hoseok??? jimin???
anyone????
helloooo???
where are they?
they always just ping out of nowhere

namjoonine hyung
*shrugs*

hobi hyung
i read something about jin hyung talking about needing someone to drag to a restaurant
i'm always in
is it a fancy restaurant hyung???

jinnie hyung
the owner is my dad's business partner
so should be

hobi hyung
HECK YEA
IM EATING FANCY

jinnie hyung
where's jimin anyway??
does he wanna join??
jiminnn
helloo???

hobi hyung
think he's busy with jeongguk

jinnie hyung
wowowowow

i come in peace
whatsup
and hobi hyung
i was not busy with jeongguk
i was doing my work you shithead

hobi hyung
i WAs dOiNG mY wORk

shut your balls

hobi hyung
again that is such a weird thing to say

jinnie hyung
gUYS
jimin
do you want to come join or not?

join what?

jinnie hyung
*sighing*
read my previous texts

ohhhh
WHEN?

jinnie hyung
TOMORROW NIGHT
I'VE SAID IT
I'VE SAID I'VE MADE A RESERVATION FOR TOMORROW NIGHT

damn no need to be a jerk about it
but eh, i have to pass on this one

jinnie hyung
did you just make a pass on free food????

I CAN'T TOMORROW NIGHT
I HAVE PLANS

hobi hyung
plans with jeonggukie
am i right?????

jinnie hyung
ooooooooooooo
no wonder he's saying pass on free food

hobi hyung
he'd drop everything to see jeongguk tbh

jinnie hyung
aaaaah young love

ughhh
i can't have nice things without you guys teasing me like there's no tomorrow

hobi hyung
that's what friends do
its in the protocol

you can shove that protocol up your ass

namjoonie hyung
no one is shoving protocol up anyone's ass


jeonggukie ♡♡

random
but
i miss u

we just saw each other like an hour ago

so???
time is just a social construct
an hour without seeing you feels like forever
istg
send me a selca pls
:((
so that my heart will miss u less

istg
what kind of shitty drama did you watch?

I JUST MISS YOU
LEAVE ME ALONE
now selca


THERE
DO U MISS ME LESS NOW????

AAAAAAAAA
you are so gorgeous you know that right?
what nation did i saved in my past life to have you as my boyfriend

you mean almost boyfriend
cus from what i remember you haven't asked me yet

well i'll ask you now to be my boyfriend
what do you say? be my boyfriend?
so we can run into the sunset together and save the world
#voteforworldpeace

YOU'RE A LITTLE SHIT
I HATE YOU

is that a no :((((

this was not what i had in mind of how you're gonna ask me to be your boyfriend tbh

WELL
what exactly do you have in mind?

i dunno

lemme tell u what i have in mind tho
i would kneel down on one knee with flowers in hand then i will pop out the question. will you be my boyfriend park jimin?
but this isn't a marriage proposal and you're allergic to flowers... so
this is the best that i can do

for someone who is so amped about preparing for a perfect first date, the way you asked me through text to be your boyfriend is a little underwhelming don't you think?
this is like some peak millennial culture

do you want me to pull out an anime-esque proposal is it?

on another note, nvm

so....
we're boyfriends now right?

after some careful thinking and analyzation
yeah sure
boyfriends

BOYFRIENDS
brb
need to put the date on the calendar
today's gon be a date to remember

i can't fucking believe you're my boyfriend now

are you saying that out of disbelief or sheer surprise?

in disbelief

well you're my boyfriend now

yeah i am

wait
let me just let that sink in again
YOU
PARK JIMIN
IS MY BOYFRIEND
this is me rn tbh:

don't judge

I FUCKING CHOKED
JEON JEONGGUK

yea
i was so happy i busted out a double chin

LITERALLY FUCK YOU
IM WHEEZING


chim's in hell
@kisskise @jmluv aka my boyfriend (yea i know, can't believe it either) is srsly on crack guys 10:50 PM - 2 OCTOBER 2018


jeonggukie ♡♡

so now that you're my boyfriend
i'm gonna call you baby
and you should call me baby too
thanks for coming to my tedtalk

go to sleep

you forgot 'baby'

*sigh*
go to sleep baby

hguhtgnvdfnvkttg

you're just all talk

Chapter Text

hobi hyung

bitchass
where the fuck are you
i'm lonely

im eating lunch with jeongguk

gASPS
WHERE
LEMME JOIN YOU
I GOT DITCHED BY MY FRIENDS
AND I REFUSE TO EAT LUNCH AT THE CAFETERIA ALONE
JIMINNNN

wtf
you can't join us

TF NOT

because i know you will say something to embarrass me

DUDE
YOU ACCIDENTALLY SENT A FISTING FIC TO JEONGGUK
NOTHING CAN EVER TOP THAT

i hate that i'm agreeing with you

its because i have a brain
now where tf are you
i'm lonely and hungry

ugh
at the restaurant near campus
BUT PLS DON'T SCARE JEONGGUK OFF
or i will castrate you

oooooooooo
overprotective boyfriend mode is on
but yes, promise
i'll keep my mouth shut and eat my food
besides i'm fucking hungry to even pay attention to the both of you anyway

you fucking better


[snsd's voice] the boys

hobi hyung

cute ass couple coming your way

jinnie hyung
awwwwwwwwwwwww

namjoonie hyung
they are so cute what the fuck

hobi hyung
i fucking know
can ya'll believe i'm third wheeling these cute ass bitches
like i don't think they knew i was right in front of them all along
they were lost in their own world
it was just me and my food and my sad lonely life

jinnie hyung
omg
you still with them???

hobi hyung
YES
and i have appointed myself as the president of the gukmin club
anyone interested to join pls send me an email of your application
this has been a psa

namjoonie hyung
again
i really think jiguk is the better ship name

hobi hyung
AND AGAIN
jimin is not a top

namjoonie hyung
AND AGAIN
i don't get what that has to do with a ship name

hobi hyung
AND AGAIN
you have a lot to learn hyung

YOU GUYS ARE SO FUCKING CANCELLED

hobi hyung
JIMIN GO BACK TO PAYING ATTENTION TO JEONGGUK
STOP TEXTING

i'm going to burn everything that you love

jinnie hyung
prayer circles for hobi and everything that he loves

namjoonie hyung
*joins the prayer circle*

hobi hyung
JIMIN WOULD NEVER

i fucking would

jinnie hyung
uh-oh
we gotta pray harder

hobi hyung
rgbfvjnvjgh
IM SO DONE


jiminie baby ♡♡

hello baby
i was going through my email and

remember this?

oh my god
the day where i want to move out of the country and change my identity
the embarrassment was no joke
and you were such a dick
teasing me to no end
hgbfvj

it was a good fic okay!!!!
and i was so happy you were able to finish the fic
like whewh
14k words of aokise pwp with fisting
the fic of my dreams
i lost count how many times i've reread it tbh

WHY ARE YOU REREADING IT
its not even that good tbh

ok listen up
you're a good writer baby
and everything that you write is gold
like come on
taehyung has high taste when it comes to fanfics
and you're his favorite fic writer
he even calls you a fic writing legend
and he is right
you are a legend

are you sure you're not just saying that because i'm your boyfriend

OF COURSE NOT

okay
now give me more compliments

careful there
your praise kink is showing

hgjnvgvc
shut up

uwu
my precious beautiful baby

i am content

you are so easy to please

(^ω^)


sOFT
@jmluv i have an announcement to make: my boyfriend is super duper fucking talented and i will stop at nothing to shower him with love and appreciation and everyone should too 09:53 PM - 11 NOVEMBER 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @jmluv i hate you both you're making me feel single af


chim's in hell
@kisskise i also have an announcement to make: my boyfriend is amazing and i will also stop at nothing to shower him with love and appreciation 10:01 PM - 11 NOVEMBER 2018

spill the tea
@miyuspring @kisskise wow okay, i really feel single af


spill the tea
@miyuspring anyone who wants to make an announcement saying that they will also stop at nothing to shower me with love and appreciation?? anyone??? like literally anyone? miyuki? my son? 10:15 PM - 11 NOVEMBER 2018

Chapter Text

chim is still in hell
@kisskise my assignments are piling up but instead of doing it i'm trying to fucking finish this fic pls god help me 10:01 PM - 30 SEPTEMBER 2019

not spilling tea anymore
@miyuspring @kisskise is this the fic we talked about? ;)

chim is still in hell
@kisskise @miyuspring YES AND I AM SUFFERING I NEED TO FINISH IT

not spilling tea anymore
@miyuspring @kisskise its okay you still have like two days

sOFT for jimin
@jmluv @miyuspring @kisskise WHAT FIC ARE YOU ALL TALKING ABOUT AND HOW COME I DIDN'T KNOW


jeonggukie baby ♡♡

:((((

why the sad face?

what fic are you and taehyung hyung talking about?

oh you know
a fic

i know a fic
but like what fic?

YOU KNOW
A FIC

yesss
but what fic??

A FIC
you'll know soon

oooooooo
is it a surprise??

okay
you caught me
yeah its a surprise
you'll get to read it soon-ish
if i get to finish it that is

OMFG
IM SCREAMING?????
you're writing a fic for me??????
that's so sweet :((
mayhaps you're the best boyfriend ever

pls
i know i'm the best boyfriend ever
but just
don't expect anything grand??
i'm literally pulling words out of my ass
fhjbvfv

I KNOW I'M GOING TO LOVE IT
i love everything that you write
so don't beat yourself up too much okay?

okay :((
thank you
you're the best
now i'm more determined to finish this fic for you

awwh ♡♡
its going to be the best thing ever
take it easy okay baby

alrightt
don't worry
i'm almost done with it anyway

♡♡♡♡

thank you ♡

I SHOULD BE THE ONE THANKING YOU HERE

hahaha
you dork


chim is still in hell
@kisskise my boyfriend is the best, i have the best boyfriend 12:02 AM - 1 OCTOBER 2019


tEahyung

OMFG
THAT WAS A MASTERPIECE
HE WILL LOVE IT
OMFG
I AM SPEECHLESS

you think so????

YES I THINK SO
IT WAS SO FUCKING GOOD
OMFG
I SHED A TEAR
SCREW THAT
I BAWLED MY FUCKING EYES OUT
WTF
THATS THE GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD

SOBS
thank you so much!!! cries
sorry for bothering you and making you read 50k words of fic in such a short time *cries*

PLS
IM FUCKING HONORED
ITS NO PROBLEM AT ALL

FHBVHRHBFNV
again
thanks so much

don't mention it
when are u going to post it?

midnight tonight

oooooooo
romantic ;)

IM SO FUCKING NERVOUS AHHHHHHHHHH

don't sweat it
HE'LL LOVE IT

AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

just scream it out

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH


chim is still in hell
@kisskise HDBFJV keyboard smashes bites my fist: here goes nothing 11:45 PM - 1 OCTOBER 2019


jeonggukie baby ♡♡

kisskise.livejournal.com/176543

I'M SCREAMING
THIS IS THE FIC????

yes
and now i'm going to hide in a bush

babyyyyy
IM SURE ITS GOING TO BE AMAZING
AND BEFORE YOU HIDE
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY ♡♡♡♡♡♡

happy anniversary too
can't believe it's been a year

me too
the best year tbh

sap

i know
AND NOW IM OFF TO CHECK OUT THE FIC THAT YOU'VE WRITTEN FOR ME
FOR ME!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ok
you do that
while i go into my hiding spot


maybe i cry (kisskise ) wrote,
2019-10-02 00:00

[fic] subject: not a report (1/6)

subject: not a report, miyuki kazuya/sawamura eijun, explicit (but like the porn is soft you know), 50000 words (of love, crack and sappiness).

notes:first of all, a shoutout to tae for taking the time to give this a read in such a short amount of time, like holyfuck you're the real mvp! and secondly, and most importantly, this fic is dedicated to my boyfriend. i don't want to like get all sappy in the author's note but i'm just like fuck it, its our first year anniversary together and i'm going to be as sappy as i fucking want because my boyfriend is amazing af and like, this whole fic was inspired of how we got closer (i accidentally emailed him an aokise fisting wip fic, i know, fucking tragic) and somehow the stars are aligned (ugh can't believe i said that) and brought us together. you're literally the best thing to have ever happened to me. and i hope you will like this fic baby ♡ here's to many more years together!

ps: there's no fisting in here, sorry to disappoint babe

[read here]

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