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Touch me like that

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They agreed to take it slow. To give each other time to come to terms with their feelings and not push too hard. It’s still complicated and there is still uncertainty. But there are no more secrets and lies. And this thing between them, whatever it is, they can figure it out together.

It means now Zhen Wu can touch Zhen Wen as much as he wants, be it his arm around Zhen Wen’s shoulders, or his fingers circling Zhen Wen’s wrist and stroking it in a gentle caress. It means Zhen Wen can lean against Zhen Wu, relaxed and smiling, his back pressed against Zhen Wu’s chest, his lips briefly closing around Zhen Wu’s fingers, when Zhen Wu feeds him an apple piece. It always makes Zhen Wu’s heart beat faster and the now familiar heat spread through his body. And it makes Zhen Wen’s heart beat equally fast. Zhen Wu can feel it where his palm rests against Zhen Wen’s chest.

It means quick chaste kisses at school when they meet on the roof sometimes and Yu Hao isn’t with them. It means heavier make outs in Zhen Wu’s room when their parents aren’t home. When they sit on the bed side by side, their thighs pressed together, Zhen Wu’s hand curled against the nape of Zhen Wen’s neck and Zhen Wen’s fingers tightened on Zhen Wu’s arm. But nothing more than that.

Until today.

It starts as always with them sitting side by side on the bed. But something is different. The tension is almost unbearable. Zhen Wu felt it a few times before, this desire to do something more, to go further. He’s pretty sure Zhen Wen felt it, too. But something always stood in the way. Right now Zhen Wu thinks that maybe they should stop and talk about it, but all the rational thoughts fly from his mind when Zhen Wen kisses him.

They kiss and it’s good, as always, but there is some sort of desperation in Zhen Wen’s kisses that wasn’t there before. When they stop kissing Zhen Wen leans away, his eyes huge and intense, his lips wet and shining. He looks at Zhen Wu as if he’s waiting for something. Zhen Wu has to tighten his hands into fists to fight the possessive urge to just grab Zhen Wen by the neck and pull him closer and kiss him again until they are both breathless. And do other things to him, things that until now he had only thought about.

“Zhen Wen,” he says. “Zhen Wen, I...”

His mind is full of images, but the words stick in his throat. He doesn’t really know how to say any of this. But maybe it shows on his face, because Zhen Wen stands up abruptly. For a split second Zhen Wu’s heart squeezes with sudden fear that he scared Zhen Wen off. Maybe Zhen Wen doesn’t want it after all. But before he has the chance to react, Zhen Wen pushes him deeper into the bed and straddles him. Zhen Wu lets out a sigh of relief that turns into a moan when their bodies come in closer contact. Zhen Wen smiles a small, satisfied smile and presses his lips again to Zhen Wu’s. The kiss is all it takes for the initial shock to wear off. Zhen Wu’s arms tighten around Zhen Wen’s waist. He wants more, so much more. More touching, more kissing, more of everything. He pulls Zhen Wen closer. This sudden movement upsets their balance and Zhen Wu falls back on the bed, pulling Zhen Wen on top of him.

Zhen Wen lets out a sound that’s half surprised laughter and half a lustful groan. He raises himself a little bit, bracing himself on the bed with both hands. He looks down on Zhen Wu, lips parted, a faint blush on his cheeks. He’s beautiful and he takes Zhen Wu’s breath away.

For a while they just look at each other, suspended in sudden uncertainty as to what’s next. They both want more, it’s obvious, but nobody makes the first move. Finally, Zhen Wu raises his hand and gently pulls Zhen Wen’s head lower. He looks at Zhen Wen hesitantly, waiting for his reaction. But Zhen Wen doesn’t resist, just smiles. Which instantly makes Zhen Wu smile, too. Their lips touch and just like that all the uncertainty seems to be forgotten.

They kiss, deep and long. Until just kissing simply isn’t enough. Zhen Wu fumbles with Zhen Wen’s tie, hands shaking with need to get closer, to touch the naked skin. He finally manages to untie it and throw it away. The buttons on Zhen Wen’s shirt are next and it takes him a while, between kisses and caresses that are getting more and more frantic. Zhen Wen gives a frustrated huff and tugs at the rest of the buttons himself. He shakes his shirt off, not caring that it lands on the floor by the bed.

There is a lot of fumbling and groping and Zhen Wu’s fingers graze against Zhen Wen’s nipples. Zhen Wen gasps and stills above him for a moment. Right now Zhen Wu is fully hard and filled with need for so many things all at once. And he’s not the only one. He feels Zhen Wen’s hardness against his thigh. When he raises his leg a little bit higher and rubs against it, Zhen Wen lets out a desperate moan, eyes dark with desire.

“I want...” Zhen Wen says.

He stops and looks at Zhen Wu helplessly. But his confusion doesn’t last long. Zhen Wu isn’t surprised. Zhen Wen was the first one to recognize that his feelings weren’t brotherly. He was the first one to voice them. He did it at the time when Zhen Wu was still just a tangled mess of emotions he couldn’t name. When he only knew that he didn’t want anyone to like Zhen Wen, and he didn’t want anyone to get close to him, without recognizing the reasons.

“I want to touch you,” Zhen Wen says. “I want to make you come.”

Zhen Wu nods, breath catching in his throat. Because oh yes, he wants it, too. He wants it so much. Zhen Wen kisses him, his hand slowly travelling up Zhen Wu’s thigh. He unzips Zhen Wu’s pants and slips his hand inside. Zhen Wu groans at the first touch to his cock, his body taut with want and need, his heels digging into the bed. Zhen Wen starts stroking him, slowly at first, a little bit unsure. But he gets bolder when Zhen Wu’s moans become more desperate. Zhen Wu’s hands tighten on the sheets, sweet tension raising inside him, his hips moving in the rhythm of Zhen Wen’s strokes. Their eyes are locked on each other. It doesn’t take long before Zhen Wu comes with a loud cry.

For a while Zhen Wen just sits motionless, breathing deeply. Zhen Wu can’t take his eyes off of him. He wants to kiss him so badly, he wants to touch him, he wants to hold him close and never let go. He wants to do to Zhen Wen what Zhen Wen just did to him. He sits up abruptly with Zhen Wen still in his lap. Zhen Wen looks at him, startled, love and lust in his eyes making Zhen Wu’s head spin.

Their fingers meet at the zipper of Zhen Wen’s pants. Zhen Wen grabs Zhen Wu’s hand and presses it between his legs. Their hands move in a steady rhythm and this time Zhen Wen is the one moaning desperately and trembling under Zhen Wu’s touch. He comes, panting, his head falling on Zhen Wu’s shoulder, fingers squeezing Zhen Wu’s arm hard enough to leave bruises.

Zhen Wu falls back on the bed, pulling Zhen Wen with him. They lie like that for a while, Zhen Wen half on top of Zhen Wu, his head fitting perfectly in that place where Zhen Wu’s shoulder and neck meet. Zhen Wu strokes Zhen Wen’s hair lightly, listening to his breath getting calmer and more even. It kind of feels like the most perfect moment of his life and he wishes it could last forever.

Forever lasts about 15 minutes, after which he realizes that lying pressed close together in clothes that are a bit sticky maybe isn’t the best idea. Zhen Wen must have thought something similar, because he raises his head and scrunches up his nose.

“I need a shower,” he says with a grimace and sits up.

And despite what he thought just seconds earlier, Zhen Wu misses the loss of contact. But yes, they need to clean up and change.

“You go first,” he says. “I’ll wait.”

Zhen Wen smiles with that soft, happy smile that Zhen Wu already loves so much, and bends over to press a quick kiss to Zhen Wu’s mouth. Well, it’s supposed to be quick but Zhen Wu can’t resist and pulls Zhen Wen on top of him again. Zhen Wen gasps in surprise, but he goes willingly, his lips parting as the kiss gets deeper.

Zhen Wen is the one to stop the kiss. He slips out from Zhen Wu’s embrace. Zhen Wu tries to stop him, catching him by the waist. But Zhen Wen bats his hands away.

“No, no... Seriously, stop...” he says between helpless laughter. “I really need to clean up.”

He jumps from the bed, keeping a safe distance from Zhen Wu’s grabby hands. He leaves the room and soon Zhen Wu hears the sound of the shower turning on.

Zhen Wu stretches out on the bed feeling satisfied and relaxed and almost unbearably happy. Somewhere out there is a real world with all its complications and challenges. Their school and their parents and their everyday life. The decisions that have to be made about their relationship, and the confrontations that they will have to face sooner or later. But here and now, for at least a few hours more, Zhen Wu can stay in a happy bubble where Zhen Wen loves him and nothing besides that matters. And where Zhen Wu can love him back and they can kiss and touch anytime they want. And here and now that’s enough.