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Lucky

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A whole year, that’s how long they haven’t seen each other, touched each other - and now they can barely keep their hands off each other till the door of Waii’s room clicks shut behind them.

Giggling like school kids, they stumble blindly towards the bed and then they trip and fall and Apo hits the mattress with his back, making a loud “Oomph!” sound when Waii lands on top of him, almost knocking their noses together. 

Damn, Waii missed Apo. So much.

Propping himself up on his elbows so as not to squash Apo - as sturdy as Apo is, Waii is no lightweight - Waii stares down at Apo, at his bright laughing eyes and cherry red lips, swollen from kissing, and he realizes anew just how much he loves this man.

Leaning down to kiss the mole on Apo’s nose, Waii whispers, “Will you be mine tonight?” 

Apo smiles and lifts his hands to run them up and down Waii’s back. “And if I say no?” he asks with mischief in his eyes.

Yes, Apo is teasing him, Waii knows - but it still makes him pause, it makes him stop. Because it makes him remember.

It makes him remember that day when Apo meant his “no” and Waii didn’t listen, overwhelmed by his own anger, his fury at his father, at his one-time best friend, at himself, at everyone but Apo - yet it was Apo who Waii took his anger out on. 

In some mad need to prove that gay sex wasn’t all that it was rumored to be, Waii didn’t listen to Apo’s “no” and he disregarded his struggling, it wasn’t until he held Apo down and stuck his hand down his pants and Apo just froze under him - not moving and barely even breathing - that the red haze that settled over Waii’s mind after his fight with his dad finally started to lift and he realized what he was doing.

That he was hurting the one person that’s always been good to him, that always had his back and always put his needs first, that he was hurting Apo in the worst way imaginable, betraying all the trust that he put in Waii. 

Then Waii felt sick to his stomach, disgusted with himself, so much that he ran. But not far. In the hallway outside, he stood there for a very long time, listening to Apo’s soft sobs through the closed door. And he cried too.

And that’s when Waii promised himself - no, not promised, that’s too mild a word - he swore to himself that he would never, ever, ever again raise a hand against Apo. He would never again hurt Apo. Never.

Now, staring down at Apo’s open, trusting face, just the memory of that day when he almost ruined the best thing that’s ever happened to him sends shivers down his spine. He’s so lucky that Apo forgave him, that Apo’s heart is the size of the universe…

Resting his weight on his left elbow, Waii lifts his right hand and smooths down Apo’s short ruffled hair. Then he cups his face and strokes his cheekbone with his thumb. “If you say no, then this is as far as we go,” he promises earnestly.

Apo blinks up at Waii, surprised by the sudden seriousness in his voice. But then his whole face softens when he understands - Apo always understands Waii, no one knows Waii better - and he turns his head to kiss Waii’s palm and nuzzle it for a moment. 

Then Apo spreads his legs, and wrapping them around Waii’s hips, he pulls Waii down against him. With their lips barely an inch apart, Apo whispers, “Then I guess we’re both lucky my answer is ‘Yes!’” and lifting his head a little, he captures Waii’s mouth with his own.

When they make love then - it’s their first time together and their every touch is a discovery - it’s with passion and laughter and happiness and love. And Waii feels really lucky indeed.