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A Wife?

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      “I’m going to be Rimuru’s wife, of course!” Milim proclaimed, puffing her flat as a board chest out.

      Rimuru sighed, exhausted, his eyebrows twitching. They’re still going on about this? Luckily, the other troublesome women are out, and there are only two of them here. Perhaps it would have been nice if this happened in his previous life, and he would have nosebleeds all over for having multiple beautiful women fawning for him. But now, he felt older than ever, feeling it’s beginning to be nothing more than bothersome that worries him all night and day. Receiving this treatments just when he no longer has a gender. Great.

      Milim, is well, Milim. She’s a girl, not a woman, and Rimuru is sure as hell he’s no longer the man he used to be in the life he has before this. Well, maybe, there are some circumstances he can be thirsting for womenly… parts, but that’s beside the point! Everyone here is a family, nothing more, nothing less. A wife is the least he wants right now.

      But now, he decided to play along a bit. If this doesn’t resolve things then he’s going to raise his hands up and let thousand years or so to deal with this kind of thing. Maybe few thousands of years can knock this issue out.

      “Question Milim, do you even have an idea what a wife is?”

      Maybe she does, maybe she doesn’t, but either way, he’s sure she’s misunderstanding something.

      “Of course!” she proudly proclaimed. Rimuru has to pass the physical domination to Ciel to maintain a poker face, because he’s not buying any of her shit, and he doesn’t want to roll his eyes right in front of her. “Being your wife means I can spend more time with you!”


      Having her around for long is already a nightmare as is. Maybe she became more tolerable than before, no longer as self-centered as years ago, but now she’s proven that there was a delusion in her part. Perhaps to be someone’s wife was being by their side longer, but that’s not all. Rimuru—or perhaps Satoru Mikami?— had grew up in a country where marriage is a very serious thing, it’s not just something you can use as an excuse to fool around.

      “Listen. To be married means more than that! You gotta be an adult, for example.”

      Milim looks offended, but at least not upset enough that she’ll go berserk anytime soon. “I’m an adult already!”

      ‘See, that’s what makes you all the more childish.’ But oh well, not bursting out means she’s growing. Probably.

      “Oh yeah? Can you tell me what a wife does then?”

      It’s just a teasing question, no concrete answer, really. Rimuru doesn’t have any stereotypical thoughts about wives, he had grown in an era where women can absolutely do anything. They’re not only meant for kitchen or wherever, something he learned from his mother. Milim’s reaction, however, is another thing.

      “Uhm—Uh, it’s—um…”

      She’s panicking. ‘Seriously, she’s too clueless.’

      Then suddenly, a bulb lit over her head. “Ah, I remember! You go to honeymoon and stuff!”

      He almost choked, and he’s not even eating anything. “Where did you learn that from?”

      “From Hermes. I’ve asked him about it once and that’s all he told me.”

      ‘Hermes? Wasn’t that one of the dragon faithful?’ So he’s one of her servants. Really, out of all the things he could answer, that’s what he chose? That’s all he can tell to his ‘supposedly’ goddess?

      “He won’t answer to me about it, but what’s a honeymoon, Rimuru?”

      Now he has to bit his tongue to prevent his thoughts from going wild. “Err, uh, honeymoon is where you do fun stuff… yeah…” Good thing he doesn’t blush, one of the good things in this world. But that didn’t prevent him from looking away.

      “Fun stuff? Like what?”

      “Um… creating baby… and stuff…” His voice was going low, but thanks to Milim’s advanced hearing, she heard him loud and clear.

      “Creating baby?” She punched her palm. “Ah, so that’s it!”

      He whipped his head to her instantly. “Huh?”

      “I’ve watched it once!”

      ‘YOU WHAT?!’ He was too stunned, horrified and shocked to move. He felt his soul leaping out of his body. ‘Jesus Christ, holy shit?’ Rimuru always pictured Milim to be that immature, feeling adult, childish girl she is, in spite of her thousands of years of age. She has that aura, and he won’t be the first one to describe that about her. Now, she’s smart in some places, in battlefield, for example, but she’s clueless, naive and impulsive most of the time. A child that had seen everything, but a child nonetheless.

      He stared at her, like looking at her in a different light, one that is very different from the Milim he knows. “You watched…”

      “Yes!” And she has the audacity to be proud?! Did she crack her skull or something? “I didn’t think it was like that at that time! I mean, that was the first time I’ve seen it? It was an accident. And I thought, ‘oh, how painful that is!’”

      He literally shivered, and for Rimuru, who rarely loses his cool, makes it obvious how things had taken a turn for the worse. All his mind screamed is, ‘please stop this already! Bring back the Milim I know!

      But Milim is still not yet done from spouting horrifying things. “And geez, there was blood all over the place!”

      Rimuru shot up, his eyes as glazed as a dead fish. “Alright, that’s enough.”  

      “Huh? Why?” Question marks are all over her adorable face, but Rimuru had heard enough.

      It was at that moment that the heavens have spoken.

      << There's a good chance she meant something else. >>

      He frowned. ‘Huh?’ then everything clicked. It was his choice of words, of course, and Milim completely misunderstand everything else.

      “Milim, do you perhaps meant ‘childbirth’?”

      ‘Say yes, say yes, say yes. And restore your innocence!’ he was praying.

      She tipped her head curiously. “Ah, yes? That and honeymoon are the same thing, aren’t they?”

      “No, they’re not!” he bursts out. ‘She seriously doesn’t know anything?’It wasn’t impossible. Milim might be surrounded by people who doesn’t want to tell her anything, in spite of living for years. There are no internet here, something that open someone’s eyes. Rimuru himself learned those kind of things from the internet.

      ‘It’s okay, right? I mean, she’s already old enough to know about those! I’ll just slip a clue or two and let her figure things out. Or like, make things vague so I could say I’m done with my job.’

      “Listen, Milim,” he begins. And Milim leaned closer, listening attentively and looking interested. She probably judged that he’s unusually serious. “Honeymoon isn’t like… that. Childbirth is after honeymoon and…”

      ‘No matter how I look at her, she’s a child!’ Rimuru is a gentlemen, that much he can be proud of. And by how Milim’s beautiful eyes is sparkling of innocence paint him with guilt. ‘Arg, just get this over with and run away.’

      “That happens after marriage and then you kiss and stuff!” he shouted in a whisper. He stood up sharply, ready to bolt away—

      “You mean like how you kiss me back then?”


      If he was a real human he would be red all over. Okay, he kissed her once. But that was months ago! He already forgot about it. Or, maybe he didn’t. But swear to god, it was an accident! It was a festival, and there are fireworks and music, and Rimuru felt good, and Milim was just standing beside him, her porcelain face illuminated in the blinding lights of colorful fireworks, reflecting in her eyes like two pools of vibrant gemstones. And she just stands there, her hair no longer done in childish pigtails, seemingly glowing in her yukata.

      Rimuru never does anything recklessly out of his feelings, but in that moment his mind was just somewhere else, lost in those aquamarine eyes.

      And the way he kissed her, how he badly wanted to taste her lips, is nothing but an accident.

      Of course he immediately realizes himself and deeply apologizes to her, teleporting himself out of there as soon as he can. Luckily, Milim never told anyone about it (thank goodness; he had nightmares about Shuna’s bladed fan, Shion’s Goriki-maru and Chloe’s sword).

      And that was months ago. He thought she forgot about it, but apparently she didn’t.

      “Oh, err, about that…” Rimuru scratches his cheek, feeling heated; embarrassed, shy or whatever. What was his reason? I kissed you out of nowhere, no real reason, so just forget about it? Can he just tell her that?

      Milim is waiting for an answer, and despite everything, there was a silver of maturity in her eyes, something so non-Milim-like, as if whatever he answers, will totally change their relationship from this day on.

      Well, maybe it already did from the moment he kissed her under the fireworks.


      But Milim answers for him. “I was really confused at first…” She fidgets in the folds of her dress, her eyes lingering at anything but him, “But then you just vanish all of a sudden! For some reason, I felt mad… thinking ‘why did you do that?’ ‘Are you making fun of me?’ My heart was racing and you were gone and then, I no longer felt mad… just confused.”

      In Milim point of view, he just kissed her out of nowhere, then disappearing the next second before she can even registered what happened. He felt irresponsible, like a guy ditching a woman. ‘Damnit, why did I do that?’

      But there was no chance to regret about it, Milim awaits his answer. He should answer from his heart, and not depend on Ciel.

      “If you kissed me, does that mean we’re married?!” She popped her head closer. That’s Milim for you, recovering back in a flash.

      He leaned back, face flushed. “T-That’s…! It shouldn’t end up like that right away!”

      “Eh? But you said…”

      “Listen,” He took both of her shoulders. Milim’s blue eyes narrowed and her cheeks had a reddish glow. He snickered slightly, it’s kinda cute. “Do you like me, Milim?”

      Milim nodded fast, sparing no hesitation.

      “Think it over, do you like me romantically? ‘Cause I do. I do like you like that. And that was why I kissed you—”

      Her eyes glistened, but Rimuru kept her in her seat, holding her shoulders gently firm.

      “You don’t ask to be my wife with half-assed feelings. That’s why—”

      “Wait! I d—”

      “Let me finish this first! That’s why I’m going to court you!” He inhaled, Ciel seemed to have no protest, so that should be okay. “If you have a problem with that, reject me. Right here, right now.”

      Miim widened her eyes, looking like they’re ready to burst out with tears. Rimuru let her go, gazing directly at her. And he found out, he’s nervous as heck. His hands jitter but it’s basically unnoticeable, and he patiently waited for her answer, gulping slowly.

      “Why would I do that?” she asks, then out of a sudden, she exploded with giggles. “Heheheheehehehe… I‘m so happy.”

      ‘She’s too cute!’ If he was water, he would be steaming away now.

      “I really really like Rimuru, more than anyone else.”

      He can’t stop the smile from making its way across his face. “Then,” He took her hand, ready to press a kiss on it—


      The door blew open and two people barged in. One was a loud spoiled dragon and the other an annoying bug. He could feel the nerves in his forehead popping. Well, didn’t they just come in the rightest moment, huh?!

      “Why are you two alone? Well whatever. Look, Rimuru, it’s incomplete?!”

      “Master and I are just enjoying the climax?!”

      They cried, holding the manga up to his face. Well, I too, was just enjoying the climax but you two strode in and ruined it. He grunted, feeling the fume in his body, but before he can erupt in annoyance, someone else has been detonated.

      He felt the sudden ominous aura behind his back, concentrating youki at one point.

      “Eeek!” Ramiris quickly dove behind Veldora, sensing the upcoming danger. “Milim?! Why are you mad?!”

      “Hmm?” The blond dragon was unperturbed, or should one say, oblivious. “What’s up with pigtails—”

      Before he can finish what he needed to say, a fist, fast as a lightning, collided to his face, sending him flying backwards. He landed on both his feet, surprised and agitated.

      “Hey, hey, that hurt! What was that for?!”

      ‘This fool, you don’t ruin a moment of a girl!’ Rimuru wanted to yell, and now, he can’t afford to be angry to them anymore. Only feeling pity to whatever fate lies before them.

      Milim had a dark expression, her eyes had lost its shine, replaced with pure anger. “You guys ruined everything!” she bellowed, voice dripping with venom.


      But Veldora still has the spirit to flash a battle-hungry grin. “Hehe, I don’t know what’s that supposed to mean, but if it’s a fight you want then I’m on!”

      “You idiot!”


      And so, Ramiris, Rimuru and the executives had to combine their forces to calm down the raging powerhouses and prevent Tempest from being completely wiped off the face of the planet.

      Later, Rimuru will do his best to court the dragonoid, and that would include asking permission from all her subordinates (“You’re going to court her? Then I and Karion will judge you thoroughly”), dealing with Shion, Shuna, Chloe and Veldora’s (color him surprise) protests and silently praying to Veldanava and Lucia about their daughter’s hand, but that will be a story for another day.