Park Jimin can be described in three words:
These are words that don’t apply to just anyone, especially anyone in the PR industry. It takes confidence to reach where Jimin currently resides—on a golden throne at the very top. People who are just getting started, bow down at his feet and celebrities (actresses and actors, sports stars, singers, etc) readily throw their money at Jimin. They hope and pray that he’ll glance his way, but Jimin doesn’t do what he does for the money. It’s all about reputation.
Jimin breezes through the front doors of Glitz—the PR company he’s worked for, for nearly two years. Glitz resides in the heart of Seoul; a fifteen-story building with only the best PR specialists. It’s the type of building that could nearly pass as a Shilla hotel with its glamourous entryway and countless celebs that walk through its doors.
When his Gucci boots click-clack against the marble floor, the receptionist, Soojin is on her feet in seconds to greet him. She pushes her blonde locks out of her face and bows deeply.
“Good morning, Mr. Park!”
Jimin flashes her a quick smile before slipping away to the elevator. He’ll stop and chat later, he has somewhere he needs to be right now. He presses the golden button and waits with his arms crossed for the doors to open.
He’s always on the move, calling or meeting with someone. It’s why he’s sought after; such dedication and skill is a rarity in an industry that’s always changing.
The doors finally open and Jimin steps inside, hurriedly pressing for the 4th floor where his office resides. He has a meeting today with one of his previous clients—the famous soccer player, Kim Minjae who got in over his head. Jimin warned him numerous times to watch his mouth, but it’s not like he can sew up the lips of his clients. If people don’t listen, they don’t listen. No matter how often they’re trained or told. It’s a shame, really.
Suddenly, a foot appears between the almost closed elevator doors. Jimin startles, jumping back and eyeing the black-and-white sneaker.
Who the hell….?
“Sorry, shit,” the sneakered-intruder grumbles as they slip into the elevator. “Almost missed it.”
Jimin continues eyeing him, slightly annoyed that he’s going to be running late thanks to this guy.
The intruder awkwardly clears his throat, swaying back and forth. He keeps his eyes on Jimin, gaze flicking down to read Jimin’s badge then back up to Jimin’s face.
“If you have something to say, say it.” Jimin says curtly.
The intruder quickly averts their gaze, “Sorry for staring. I just—I’m Taehyung—I’m new.”
Taehyung visibly recoils, bright expression dimming a bit and okay, maybe Jimin should tone down some of the spice. It’s not Taehyung’s fault that he’s in a particularly bad mood this morning.
Jimin pushes his silver bangs out of his face and turns to fully face Taehyung, “Sorry about that, I’m Park Jimin.” Jimin outstretches a hand. “If you have any questions, my office is on the 4th floor.”
Taehyung beams and his smile is all square and cute. Jimin figures it’ll grow on him in a weeks’ time. His hair is what catches Jimin by surprise—it’s bright red like a strawberry and it’s not a color just anyone can pull off. He’s handsome, Jimin will give him that.
“Thank you!” Taehyung takes Jimin’s hand and they shake on it. “I actually, uhm, I know you.”
Jimin pulls his hand back and smiles thinly, “Do you?”
“How could I not? You’re on the front cover of every PR magazine there is.”
Jimin hides his smug grin by ducking his head a bit.
“You’re like…the shit.” Taehyung blurts but he’s quick to clasp a hand over his mouth. “S-sorry.”
“None taken, cursing is therapeutic.” Jimin lifts his head just as the elevator dings. “My stop, I’ll catch you around, Taehyung.”
He steps out and walks briskly down the hall without glancing back. He’ll learn more about Taehyung later, right now he needs to focus on this meeting which will ultimately be the last one with Minjae. Jimin’s known for his grace, but he’s not a toy or shield celebrities can use whenever they fuck up. Jimin knows his value and will no longer allow this guy to trample over it.
When he reaches his office, he sees two people waiting inside and takes a deep breath before yanking the door open. Immediately, they jump from their seats and bow deeply. Minjae seems like he doesn’t want to do it, but what choice does he have?
Jimin internally rolls his eyes. Suddenly they’ve taught him basic manners. He settles in a leather chair behind his desk and crosses his legs.
“Good morning,” he hums.
Minjae sits down and keeps his gaze low as he mumbles out a reply, “Morning.”
“Our contract is over.” Jimin cuts straight to point, aiming to keep this as short as possible. Minjae’s eyes widen and he begins to speak, but Jimin interrupts. “I’m not willing to negotiate. If you have any complaints, my boss is at the end of the hall.”
This time Minjae’s manager? Colleague? Suck up? Jimin forgets, steps forward. “Mr. Park, please. Minjae has changed.”
“No, he hasn’t,” Jimin’s placid expression hardens. “We’ve worked together for nearly a year now and my advice, the events I suggested he attend and commercial deals I requested him to take, fell on deaf ears.”
“But Mr. Par—”
“I ask that you leave. I have nothing more to discuss with you or Minjae.”
Time is like a diamond in this industry. It’s expensive, valuable and doesn’t appear out of thin air. It requires work and Jimin can’t waste his time on a client that is no longer under his care.
Begrudgingly, Minjae rises from his seat and heads for the door. Jimin doesn’t bother to see them out, reaching for the phone on his desk and dialing his boss’s office number. It rings three times before there’s a click and Kim Seokjin’s vibrant voice.
“Jimin! I thought you’d never call!”
Jimin waits for the door to close behind Minjae and his lapdog before responding. “I had to settle a couple things.”
“Mm, did Minjae give you a hard time?”
“Great.” Seokjin sing-songs. ‘Course you wouldn’t give him the chance to.”
Jimin smirks, “Of course.”
Since joining Glitz, Jimin and Seokjin just clicked. Perhaps it was due to their expensive fashion taste and low tolerance for bullshit that brought them closer. Since that fateful day two years ago, Seokjin’s entrusted Jimin to some of the greatest and most elite clients. Jimin’s worked with Kim Yuna, although brief and numerous R&B singers, so he’s eager to hear who his new client is going to be.
“I got your email last night,” Jimin starts as he presses the speaker button on the phone.
“Yes! You were able to read it, correct?” Seokjin’s voice fills Jimin’s office space as Jimin begins typing at way at his computer.
“I couldn’t sleep because my dreams were full of this mysterious client.” Jimin hums, a pout seeping its way into his tone.
Seokjin laughs jovially, “It’s my job to keep the greatest publicist on his toes.” He teases, adding an extra bit of his sweetness to his words because he’s about to drop the biggest bomb ever on Jimin.
“Sooo, who is it?”
Seokjin’s silent for a moment and Jimin leans forward, awaiting his response. He’s anticipating the best. This’ll probably be his biggest client to date and it’s exciting to think about. The events, publicity stunts, not to mention the future clients it’ll bring Jimin.
Let it be someone good. Jimin squeezes his eyes shut. Please, I need a break.
“Have you…heard of Jeon Jeongguk?”
Jimin’s eyes snap open and it feels like someone’s just ripped out his heart and forced him to eat it. Has he heard of Jeongguk? How could he not? Jimin’s seen his face everywhere: billboards, bathroom stalls, the men’s dressing room and on soju bottles. He’s a work of art, this Jeon Jeongguk, but a publicist’s worst nightmare.
Seokjin answers breezily, “Jeon Jeongguk? He’s an extremely popular singer right now.”
“Yeah, no, I know who he is but no.”
“Jimin, come on.” Seokjin pleads.
“You didn’t understand? My bad, I must’ve misspoken.” Jimin clears his throat, “Fuck. No.”
Seokjin groans, “Jimin, please, it has to be you.”
Jimin shakes his head as he logs into his email. “I love my job, I do, but he’s a useless case.”
“Useless? That’s a bit much.”
Jimin scoffs in offense, “He’s gone through ten publicists. Ten!? You’ve got to be a monster—fuck—a beast to pull shit like that.”
When Seokjin doesn’t respond, Jimin continues his lament. “I make people look good. I don’t change them, you know that.”
Seokjin’s quiet for a heartbeat and Jimin thinks he’s won this battle until Seokjin drops yet another bomb on him.
“You’re scheduled to meet with him in two hours.”
Jimin’s jaw drops and he ascends past rage to the level of planning Seokjin’s funeral. Jimin can already envision the suit he’ll wear; a Chanel and Saint Laurent combo. Perfect for death. Perhaps, he’ll have the new guy bring flowers.
“His manager and staff—they’re all so excited to meet you.” Seokjin continues, playing deaf to the apparent fury in Jimin’s silence. He’s not doing this to purposefully annoy Jimin—he wants to challenge him. He knows Jimin, knows he can handle someone like Jeongguk.
“You…” Jimin’s too enraged to finish his sentence. Instead he buries his face in his hands while muttering a slew of cuss words.
“I trust you.” Genuity drips in each word and Seokjin wishes they could talk in person, but he has a meeting in five minutes.
“I should report your ass to HR.” Jimin grumbles. “I already feel a migraine coming on.”
“That’s just your stubbornness.”
“Try me, Seokjin.” Jimin snarls. “Fucking try me.”
“I’m sorry.” Seokjin says with a laugh. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve already had someone do the research for you.”
“Gee, thanks.” Sarcasm seems to be a skill Jimin’s developed rather quickly. He’s perfected it by now. “Should I order you your favorite steak and pasta? While I’m at it, should I thank the person who did the research with a bottle of wine?”
“Ooh, I think he’s a fan of red wine.” Seokjin matches Jimin’s sarcasm with ease.
Jimin wants to stay mad but excitement is beginning to bubble at the surface of his chest. He takes a deep breath and tries to think of the positives to working for someone like Jeongguk.
“I’ll send him your way with the files.” Seokjin says. “I have to go now, Jimin but thank you. Thank you, thank you. Dinner’s on me next time!” He blows a kiss before ending the call.
Jimin sits in his office, letting the silence comfort him before throwing his head back. While looking at the ceiling, he sees his peace of mind dancing away. Goodbye sleep. Farewell to my late-night lover, Netflix.
Jimin’s the best because he works wisely, not foolishly. He appreciates the occasional challenge, but not a lost cause. Jeongguk’s the epitome of the proverb: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. How’s he’s supposed to help someone who deliberately disobeys?
He straightens up with an exaggerated sigh, “It’s my job...I’ll figure it out. Yeah, I can do this.” he hypes himself up by recalling the difficult clients he’s worked with before. Some of his clients gave him a hard time just because they could. It was before Jimin realized his worth. There’s a particular client from his past he doesn’t like to think about, but as Taehyung so graciously said: he’s The ShitTM.
When a knock comes at his door, Jimin flicks his hair out of his face. “Come in.”
The door creaks open and a red tuft of hair emerges from around it. “Seokjin sent me here.”
The deep voice and red hair, Jimin remembers them from this morning. “Taehyung?”
Taehyung slips inside and smiles cheekily. “It’s me.”
“Aah, so you’re the one that likes red wine.”
Taehyung tilts his head confusedly. “Pardon?”
“Inside joke, sorry. You have some research for me?” Jimin points to the folder Taehyung’s holding against his chest.
“Yes!” Taehyung saunters over and places the folder atop Jimin’s desk. “Everything you need to know about Jeongguk’s previous scandals, publicists, events, etc. is in there.”
“Perfect.” Jimin plucks up the folder and begins flipping through it. I’ve got about an hour to study this, ingrain it in my memory and get my ass over to XS Entertainment.
Watching as Jimin hurries to stuff his belongings into a green messenger bag, Taehyung struggles with what to say. He idles around until Jimin looks to him inquisitively.
“Is there anything else?”
“No, I just…do you need help with anything?”
Jimin’s expression shifts with slight surprise. It’s not common for the other employees (especially the new ones) to reach out and ask if he needs assistance. Touted by others as the best, Jimin’s often ignored by his colleagues. He laughs lightly, “No, but thank you.”
Taehyung smiles seemingly pleased by those two words before bowing and seeing himself out. Jimin follows behind him but heads in the opposite direction towards the elevator. As he’s walking, Jimin recalls the first page in the research folder.
Name: Jeon Jeongguk
Celebrity Status: Elite
Number of scandals/crises: 13
Company Address: Sangsoon-ro 1350 XS Ent.
Jimin bursts through the exit doors, bidding a quick farewell to Soojin on his way out. Typically, on his way to see a new client, he’ll bask in the nice weather before heading out. And remind himself that he’s more than a puppet—to take it easy. However, he doesn’t have the luxury to do so as he fumbles for his car keys. His black Cadillac flashes to life and he quickly ducks inside, tossing his messenger bag onto the passenger seat.
XS Entertainment towers over Jimin who whistles in awe. XS Ent. is a company known for its production of quality idols and music. They’ve made a mark for themselves alongside the Big Three in South Korea. They reached their peak when Jeongguk debuted in 2016 with the single: Begin. Four years later, he’s known as Korea’s IT Boy and is also extremely popular with overseas fans.
Jimin takes a deep breath before strutting through the double doors. Luxurious is the first word that comes to mind, along with spoiled. The blinding chandeliers and the giant posters of the companies’ idols that line the walls create a sense of entitlement. It’s amusing and almost admirable with the way the company seems to adore their idols.
Jimin’s stopped by a bulky security guard who has shoulders nearly as broad as Seokjin’s, “Do you have a meeting?”
Jimin smiles breezily as he flashes his Glitz ID. “Park Jimin. I have a meeting with Jeon Jeongguk.”
The guard studies the ID for a moment before stepping aside. “You’ll check in at the front desk and someone will call you up shortly.”
“Thank you.” He smiles before brushing past the guard and walking up to the front desk. He quickly checks-in with the older gentleman there who has a gentle face.
“Ooh, you’re The Park Jimin.”
Jimin smiles politely, “Yes.”
“I’ve heard a lot about you, you’re quite the famous one.”
Jimin covers his mouth, waving off the praise with a shrug.
Once the gentleman finishes typing something at the computer, he smiles up at Jimin, “Someone will be down for you any moment now.”
Jimin thanks the man before taking a seat in one of the lobby chairs. He whips out his phone and types Jeongguk’s name into the Google search bar. Immediately images of the singer fill his screen and Jimin hums to himself. He’s easy on the eyes, sexy yet cute. It’s easy to tell why his fans like him so much. He continues scrolling and nearly chokes when he sees a shot of Jeongguk flashing his abs.
He’s fit. Extremely fit.
Jimin might dislike the way Jeongguk acts, but he has eyes. He can see and appreciate a decent view when he sees one. And Jeongguk is an extremely decent view.
“Park Jimin?” a soft voice calls from behind him. Jimin’s on his feet in seconds and turns to see a woman with a clipboard in hand. “Right this way.”
He follows her to an elevator and they make light conversation on their way up. Jimin commits her name, Yuri to memory, a habit he’s picked up being in the industry so long. It’s important to remember the people he’s encountered; he figures he might meet them again or need their assistance.
“I hope the meeting goes well.” Yuri cheers.
Jimin smiles happily before slipping into the meeting room and he startles a bit upon noticing a man standing with his back to him. Jimin clears his throat to make his presence known and the man turns around slowly.
First encounters are extremely important. It’s the type of encounter where people will judge you in three seconds with a single glance. They’ll judge your appearance, gestures, and your gaze. Starting from your head, all the way down to your toes. This is exactly what Jimin does when he meets Jeongguk or any client for that matter. He likes to call it: the eye of the Publicist.
Jeongguk’s tall, handsome, and striking in a way Jimin’s accustomed to. The celebrities he’s worked with all have this Chardonnay type sparkle about them, but there’s something more to Jeongguk. He has long, brown hair and the “boyfriend look” down to a T, but his dark eyes are a complete juxtaposition to his questionably cute attire. Mystery? Perhaps, but Jimin will title it “arrogance” for now. He can already tell by the way Jeongguk swaggers towards him with his hands in the pockets of his Louis Vuitton jeans, that it isn’t going to be easy working with him. He’ll probably disagree with Jimin for the hell of it.
When he struts up to Jimin, he stops in front of him. He’s silent for a heartbeat, sizing Jimin up with his eyes before speaking, “And you are?”
Jimin clears his throat, “Park Jimin. I’m here to discuss being your new publi—”
Jimin’s smile immediately falls. He’s practiced this smile numerous times—such a well-mannered and cool smile—only for Jeongguk to dismiss it? Haha, no sir.
“I’m sorry?” Jimin blinks rapidly as a tight smile stretches his plump lips.
“Hah, the cute ones are always the ones that have a hard time hearing…” Jeongguk mutters to himself before stepping closer to Jimin until he’s made himself comfortable in Jimin’s space.
It takes Jimin a moment to realize that Jeongguk has just invaded his personal bubble, but once he realizes it, Jimin’s well-rehearsed expression morphs into pure disgust.
“I said to get lost.” Jeongguk reiterates. “I don’t need you here.”
Jimin sneers, stepping back and crossing his arms. “Really?”
“Yes. Fucking anno—”
“Last night you were seen leaving a club with an unknown woman. An article was quickly published online and so far, you’ve lost, hmm, one, two, three,” Jimin begins to count off on his fingers. “five commercial contracts because of your idiocy and lack of self-control.”
Jeongguk’s jaw slackens and his brown eyes flicker with agitation.
“Your company, no offense to them, lacks immediacy when it comes to such crises. They denied the photo too late and cost you millions in endorsements. Not to mention the fans who are beginning to doubt you given your…questionable history.” Jimin continues without losing his breath. “So, Mr. Jeon…”
Jimin steps back up to Jeongguk, poking a finger to Jeongguk’s well-defined chest and Jimin really wishes Jeongguk weren’t such an ass. It’d make him more attractive. Fuck having a nice body and face if you’ve got a shitty personality.
“You need me more than I need you, sweetheart.” Jimin states.
There’s a slight change in Jeongguk’s expression—an amused grin flickers across his face and his blank eyes fill with a glimmer but it disappears in a second. “You’ve got spunk.”
Jimin does a double take, “The fuck does that mean?” It’s a rhetorical question; Jimin’s more amazed by the audacity.
“Nerve.” Jeongguk steps even closer until he’s once again in Jimin’s space. “I like it.”
“I don’t care what you like. You’ve got an hour with me to discuss our contract and your next public appearance.” Jimin replies as he brushes past Jeongguk to settle in one of the blue chairs. “Sit down.”
Jeongguk stands for a moment, basking in Jimin’s domineering tone and actions. Clearly Jimin isn’t someone to mess with, but for some reason, Jeongguk has the urge to do just that. Tease him, taunt him, test his patience. Maybe if he does that, Jimin’s perfectly coifed hair will unravel.
“Sit.” Jimin repeats.
Jeongguk does as he’s told, sitting in one of the blue chairs opposite Jimin. He spreads his legs and rests his elbows atop each knee and leans forward.
Jimin snorts because is he really trying to intimidate me with that pathetic posture? Ignoring Jeongguk’s obvious display of dominance, Jimin reaches for his messenger bag and pulls out a sheet of paper.
“My information,” He hands the paper to Jeongguk. “Call my office number if you need me. I’m usually there and if not, you are to use my personal number for emergencies only.”
Jeongguk plucks the paper from Jimin’s pretty hands and leans back to read over it.
“I’ll send all information regarding your scheduled appearances, interviews, etc. from that email.” Jimin continues. “If you receive any emails about appearances, forward them to me. Do not reply to them.”
Jeongguk briefly looks up from the paper to peer at Jimin. He watches the way Jimin taps away at his iPad—eyebrows furrowed with focus. He has an unbelievably sharp jawline and lips worthy of an award. Such lips make Jeongguk picture things he shouldn’t. Jeongguk’s gaze drops slowly, raking in Jimin’s crossed legs and ironed slacks. Everything about him is flawless. He has the best thighs Jeongguk’s ever seen; the type of thighs someone would willingly die by. Jeongguk’s gaze lingers on Jimin’s long legs until Jimin clears his throat.
“Do you have any questions?” Jimin asks, deliberately ignoring the way Jeongguk’s gaze makes him feel.
Jeongguk’s gaze slowly traces back up to Jimin’s eyes. He smiles when he says, “None at all.”
“Then I’ll continue.”
Jimin continues explaining the details of their contracts and what Jeongguk is and isn’t allowed to do:
- Late night calls are to be kept to a minimum
- Need help picking an outfit, call your stylist
- I’ll be in attendance with you at all major events
- Before major interviews, we’ll go over your talking points
- If you’d like to have late night guests, they need to sign an NDA.
Jimin elaborates on the last detail. “Have sex, fuck whoever. Just make sure they respect your privacy.”
“You’re allowing me to have sex?”
Jimin’s eyebrows furrow confusedly, “Yes…I’m not your chastity belt. Do what you want but not stupidly like the other night.”
This statement seems to give Jeongguk pause.
Jimin studies his expression for a moment before stating. “We’re a team, as cliché as it sounds. I help you; you help me. If you’re uncomfortable with me or anything in the contract, we can discuss it.”
Jimin tucks his iPad away to give Jeongguk his undivided attention. He leans back in his seat, waiting for Jeongguk to speak.
After a moment, Jeongguk begins slowly, “The other night…it wasn’t like that.”
“Of course, it wasn’t.”
“No,” Jeongguk says sternly. “She was a friend.”
“She was a cover for me…I was there to see someone else.”
Now Jimin has no idea where this is going.
“If you’re going to be my publicist, you should know I’m gay.” Jeongguk doesn’t tear his gaze away from Jimin. “I haven’t come out publicly.”
Jimin’s jaw drops not from shock, but from the amount of stress he’s going to be under keeping this from the claws of the tabloids and obsessive fans.
“It wasn’t in the paperwork because no one aside from a few close friends know about it.” Jeongguk continues as if reading Jimin’s mind.
“Then…” Jimin searches Jeongguk’s eyes. “Why are you telling me?”
Jeongguk laughs nervously, “I don’t know. Honestly…I have no fucking clue.”
Jimin gapes at Jeongguk, rendered speechless. He trusts me? After telling me to get lost…he trusts me? Jimin’s torn between laughing or leaving. He hasn’t signed the contract yet nor has he agreed to signing an NDA, so why?
“That’s probably why you’re the best,” Jeongguk murmurs. “Because you seem trustworthy.”
“You don’t know me.”
“But you won’t tell anyone because I can sue you for slander.” Jeongguk’s quick to say.
Jimin smirks but says nothing in response to that.
“Anyways, I thought it’d be good for you to know since it’s been brought up before.” Jeongguk clarifies.
“They’ve asked about your sexuality?”
“Not blatantly…interviewers took the more passive route.”
Jimin hums understandingly, tucking this piece of information away. If he remembers correctly, Jeongguk’s schedule for the week is empty (for now) save for a few studio recordings. On Saturday night, there’s a big Gala he’ll be attending. If this meeting goes well, Jimin will need to begin planning for it tomorrow. Jimin glances at his wristwatch.
“It’s almost time for me to go.” Jimin announces.
Jeongguk’s eyes widen, “Time flew.”
“It always does.” Jimin gathers his belongings and hands Jeongguk another piece of paper. “Our contract. Think it over and email me your response.”
“It’s a yes.”
“You didn’t know?” Jeongguk chuckles, amused by Jimin’s reaction. “This meeting was more so we could get to know each other. My company paid good money for you.”
Jimin takes a deep breath, ignoring the way Jeongguk’s words make him feel. They paid good money for you, like I’m a fucking object. Why were you such an ass then? Jimin resists the urge to ask.
“Makes sense.” Jimin grumbles, stuffing his iPad into his bag.
Jeongguk doesn’t bother to get up from his seat as he watches Jimin go.
“Well,” Jimin huffs. “I’ll be here tomorrow to meet with your staff.”
He’s already rehearsing his greetings for tomorrow. Should I bring coffee? Maybe a bottle of wine? Jimin licks his lips in thought as he heads for the door.
“I’ll see you then.” Jeongguk says.
“Yeah, yeah, uhm,” Jimin runs a hand through his hair as a thought crosses his mind. “Make time for coffee tomorrow. We need to talk about the gala on Saturday.”
“I’m not going.” Jeongguk deadpans.
Jimin’s pauses, fingers curled around the doorknob. “You…no, no. Tomorrow.” Jimin says more to himself as he tugs the door open. I’m not dealing with this five-year-old shit till tomorrow. Jimin walks down where he had come and passes the older gentleman from earlier.
“How’d it go?” the man asks.
Jimin smiles thinly, “Great,” he says sarcastically. “It went great.”
The rest of Jimin’s day plays out rather smoothly. He has lunch with one of his marketing friends before returning to his office and organizing his schedule for the remainder of the week.
Tuesday – meet with Jeongguk and his staff @9:30am – 10:30am
Wednesday & Thursday – write & send press releases for Jeongguk’s appearance at the Gala
Friday – Prepare Jeongguk for the Gala
Saturday – Attend the Gala from Hell : ))))
By the time the evening rolls around, Jimin’s ready to detox with three bottles of wine, a massage and a docuseries. Instead, he calls his childhood friend, Jung Hoseok. Hoseok owns the up and coming fashion brand—HOPE WORLD. Jimin gives him PR advice and suggests trustworthy specialists.
“Jimin!!” Hoseok answers.
Jimin immediately relaxes upon hearing Hoseok’s voice, “Hyung, hey, are you busy?”
“Nah, what’s up?”
Jimin takes a deep breath as he prepares to divulge his day to Hoseok. As a publicist, people would expect Jimin to be an extrovert. He was and still is to a certain degree, but he cherishes his lonely nights more than he used to. It also helps to ease his mind to have someone who’ll listen to him. Hoseok does just that. It doesn’t matter how long Jimin rambles off in his ear, he listens and waits until Jimin’s finished to add his two cents. Honestly, Jimin doesn’t know if he’d still be doing this if it weren’t for Hoseok. There’s a darkness that still lives inside of him.
“He’s an asshole. Acted all high and mighty saying he didn’t need me.” Jimin grumbles. “Go on and get cancelled then.”
Hoseok laughs softly.
“Entitled prick…but he surprised me…” Jimin trails off in thought. “Maybe I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps I judged him too quickly.”
Jimin thinks back to the look in Jeongguk’s eyes when he disclosed his sexuality. There was sadness and fear in his eyes. The type of look Jimin’s all too familiar with. However, Jimin’s empathy is quickly shot in the foot when he goes to meet Jeongguk and his staff Tuesday morning. He arrives at XS Ent. at exactly 9:30a.m; hands full with coffee and other goodies.
He’s in a good mood, better than yesterday and even stops to say hi to the security guard who frowns his way. Jimin should’ve known it then, the many implications of that frown, he should’ve understood the sign. But he continues happily to the second floor. XS Ent. employees stop to greet him as he walks down the hallway. A few whisper to themselves when they see Jimin pass, but he takes it in stride.
When Jimin reaches the meeting room, he takes a moment to plaster on a beautiful smile before using his foot to knock against the door. Moments later it opens to reveal a woman’s astonished face.
“Jimin!” the woman exclaims.
“Good morning,” He pauses to recall her name. Bright eyes, auburn hair, nose and eyebrow piercings. Jeongguk’s stylist, Jang Dahye. “Dahye, it’s a pleasure to be here.”
Dahye ushers Jimin inside and hurriedly takes the coffee carriers from him. “For us? You shouldn’t have!”
“It’s the least I could do.” Not once does Jimin’s smile falter.
He greets the other two seated at the table. Choi Eunwoo, Jeongguk’s manager and Lia, Jeongguk’s trainer. They exchange pleasantries and Jimin figures he’ll meet the bigwigs at a later date. Jimin takes a seat beside Eunwoo who’s quick to praise Jimin for his work.
“Everyone’s here, can we get started?” Jeongguk interrupts. “I need to be downtown in two hours.”
His arrogant tone irks Jimin, but he won’t let it get under his skin. Not today.
“Well, I thought it’d be great if we all got to meet Jimin since he’s joining our team now.” Eunwoo explains. “But…we should discuss the more pressing matter.”
Jimin nearly chokes on his coffee, eyes bugging as he looks around the room in a subdued panic. He swallows and asks, “Pressing matter?”
Eunwoo sighs and a glare twists his charming features. “Jeongguk made a rather questionable post on Twitter last night.”
Social media. It hits Jimin like a bullet. How could I forget his fucking social media accounts?! A furious flush colors Jimin’s cheeks as he gazes across the table at Jeongguk. He’s seated with his head tilted and a knowing smirk lines his infuriatingly handsome face.
“Son of a bitch.” Jimin mutters low enough for the others in the room not to hear, but judging by Jeongguk’s reaction, he clearly understood. Jeongguk shrugs as his lips form a single word: Oops.
Eunwoo continues, “Luckily, his fans were able to laugh it off and media usually turns a blind eye to stuff like that.”
“What was it?” Jimin clutches his hands together because he’s certain he’ll fly across the table and choke Jeongguk if he doesn’t do something with his hands.
“I asked my fans if they have a favorite sex position,” Jeongguk answers nonchalantly.
He’s crazy, Jimin releases a light breath that’s a mix of awe and contempt, fucking insane. Jimin leans back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose and thinking of what he should say next. Should he say anything? Is it even worth it?
After taking several deep breaths, Jimin asks, “Why?”
Jeongguk shrugs as if the answer should be obvious, “Because I could.”
It takes everything in Jimin to not climb atop the table and kick Jeongguk with the sole of his Chanel boots. The image XS Ent. has developed for Jeongguk is one that doesn’t allow for such sexual posts. It’s not part of Jeongguk’s well-crafted script. Jeongguk’s supposed to be charming, sweet with a touch of mystery. Not the person who posted such crude words.
Jimin’s hands drop to rest atop the table and he takes a deep breath before stating, “Look, I can’t stop you from posting what you want. You’re free to do whatever. I just ask that you give me a heads up.” Jimin then turns to Eunwoo. “We can easily work this in his favor.”
Of course, he can. Jimin’s the best because he’s pulled some of the craziest shit for his clients. Nothing like bribes, Jimin distastes those with a passion, but with grace and skill.
Ever so slowly, Jimin rises from his seat. He drags his fingertips across the table as he walks to Jeongguk. “What you posted was a tease for your appearance at the gala this weekend,” Jimin stops behind Jeongguk, placing his hands to Jeongguk’s broad shoulders, “You’re going for something sexual and sensual unlike your usual image, hence why you made that post.”
Jimin squeezes Jeongguk’s shoulders, leaning in close to whisper, “Which means, you’re going to the gala.”
Jeongguk’s ears tingle but he decides not to focus on how close Jimin is or how his breath feels against his neck or how he smells sinfully sweet. He’s not dancing with the devil tonight.
Dahye and Eunwoo break into a sudden round of applause, their eyes shimmering with admiration.
“Brilliant! Sexy Jeongguk! The fans will die!” Dahye cheers. “I’ll begin looking for outfits to suit that image.”
Lia, who hasn’t spoken much, finally pipes in, “Looks like you and I are going to be hitting the gym harder this week.”
Jeongguk makes an agitated face at Lia before tilting his head back to look at Jimin. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?”
Jimin smiles, “What’d you take me for, sweetheart?” He pats Jeongguk on the shoulder before returning to his seat.
The meeting continues with the topic of discussion being the ‘Tiger Lily Gala’ that will take place this Saturday. Jeongguk’s appearance is perfect for the gala since many know that the tiger lily is his birth flower. Jimin’s also a bit excited because it’s been a while since he’s attended such a big event. It’ll give him a chance to do even more networking. As for now, he’ll focus on pitching a story about Jeongguk’s appearance to one of his close reporter friends.
Once the meeting wraps up, Jimin exchanges hugs with each of them, only stopping to grab Jeongguk by the arm. He waits until the three of them leave before tugging Jeongguk close.
“You did that on purpose.” Jimin grits.
Jeongguk smirks, “It was a test.”
Jimin glares. He figured such given the timing of the post and Jeongguk’s personality.
“Wanted to see how you’d twist it,” Jeongguk jerks his arm out of Jimin’s hold. “Isn’t that what you puppet masters do best?”
Jeongguk’s tone and his words cut Jimin in a place he’s nearly forgotten about. It makes his mind go blank and his lips pull tight. He stands there for a moment, completely shaken up before slowly piecing himself back together.
“Have a good day, Jeongguk.” Jimin opens the door. “I’ll be in touch.” And he walks away.
Jimin staggers as he walks down the hall, placing a hand to the wall to hold himself up.
“You’re my puppet, Jimin.”
He clamps a hand over his mouth, suddenly nauseous.
“That’s all you are and all you’ll ever be.”
Jimin stops walking to take a deep breath and calm himself. He remembers what Hoseok taught him all those years ago. Take deep, slow breaths and count to ten. One, two, three…Jimin releases a shaky breath as he slowly straightens up.
You don’t work for him anymore, he reminds himself, it’s over. He shakes away the memory of his very first client from years ago when he was fresh out of college. It’s a time he doesn’t like to think about. He was naïve, young and trusting.
HOPE WORLD is a short drive from XS Ent. and is a one-story building that’s cute for the enormous talent it houses. Hoseok flits about, humming the latest pop song and strewing up clothes from his recent collection. Some would find the rainbow colors throughout the building nauseating, but Hoseok’s customers always post aesthetically pleasing photos on Instagram. They dub Hoseok’s unique style as ‘Hobicore’ and it’s taken off in recent months.
The bell above the entrance door jingles and Hoseok shouts a hello without turning around. Judging by the muttering and heavy breaths, it must be Jimin. There’s also a whiff of his expensive cologne that fills the building. Jimin walks up to a hoodie rack and looks through them determinedly as if the hoodies have all the answers.
After organizing a pair of pants, Hoseok turns around. “Hello to you too.”
“Hey, hyung.” Jimin plucks out a lilac hoodie and holds it to his body.
Hoseok grips his chin, studying Jimin from across the room and shaking his head. “A darker purple would work better.”
Jimin places the hoodie back and goes to look for another. “Can you help me get ready for a gala this weekend?”
“Ooh, a gala?”
“Yep,” Jimin pulls out a lavender hoodie. “I need to match with Jeongguk, so something sexy.”
Hoseok whistles, “I can do that.”
“Thanks,” Jimin walks up to the counter to pay, slipping out his wallet and handing Hoseok several bills.
“How is he? Jeongguk?”
Jimin’s shoulders slump and his nose scrunches.
“That bad, huh?”
“You have no idea.”
Hoseok finishes ringing Jimin up, bagging the hoodie and tucking the receipt inside. He leans over the counter to study Jimin’s expression. “Did he say something stupid?”
“Called me a puppet master.” Jimin mutters. “Things like that don’t bother me, but it was the way he said that just…”
Hoseok’s tender eyes rest on Jimin’s saddened face.
“Brought back some unpleasant memories is all.” Jimin finishes as his gaze drifts to his feet.
There’s three words to describe Park Jimin when he isn’t being the highly praised publicist:
Jimin doesn’t like to tie his dark memories to who he is now, but they’ll cross his mind occasionally. It’s probably why he hasn’t seriously dated since then, not to mention his hectic schedule.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Jimin flashes a strained smile.
Hoseok nods understandingly, switching the topic of the conversation. “Shall we look for you an outfit then? It’s part of a collection I’ve been working on these last few months.”
Jimin beams, “Lead the way.”
Hoseok walks around the counter and slides an arm around Jimin’s shoulders. “Watch the shop for me!” he calls to one of his employees. He brings Jimin to his office at the back of the building and opens the door grandiosely as if Jimin’s a king. The action makes Jimin laugh and he realizes once again how happy he is with Hoseok in his life.
“I already have your sizes from before, so I’ll finish a few touch ups.” Hoseok explains as the door clicks behind them. He whisks around to his desk and pulls out a binder containing his designs.
They spend an hour in Hoseok’s office, looking through photos from his secret collection. Hoseok suggests Jimin should go for something red with accents on a white dress shirt. He’s not there to perfectly match Jeongguk, but to complement him. People should know Jimin is his publicist, but more than the assistant stationed to see to Jeongguk’s every whim.
Jimin’s known in the industry because of the way he often outshines his clients. People are drawn to his enigmatic aura and alluring laughter. A lot of his previous clients were often booked for big events because Jimin was their publicist.
“Jimin knows what he’s doing.”
“Jimin’s the best! I’ve gotten so much exposure because of him.”
“I’d sign a contract with him again if I could.”
Jimin is careful to not let the praise get to his head, but he can’t help how good it makes him feel to know that he’s being recognized for his skill. He worked his ass off in college to be where he is now. Being a publicist is about skill and who you know.
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” Hoseok asks as he walks Jimin to his car. “Buy you a glass of wine or maybe let you borrow my Hulu account for a month?”
Jimin grins, “Hulu does sound pretty nice right about now.”
“Doesn’t it?” Hoseok brightens. “I’ve watched everything that’s good on Netflix.”
“So have I.”
“How about we plan for a movie night to get your mind off work.” Hoseok suggests.
Jimin ducks into his car and frowns up at Hoseok. “I can’t this week.”
“I know, I know. I’m just reminding you to take a mental break.”
“I appreciate it.”
Hoseok studies Jimin’s face for a moment before ducking inside to plant a wet kiss to his cheek. “I love you.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, “Love you too.”
Hoseok steps back, slamming the door shut and waving Jimin away. They could sit in the parking lot for hours proclaiming their undying love for one another and they’ve done so before. People often mistook Hoseok as Jimin’s lover and sometimes they’d play up to it, flirting, teasing and being overly affectionate with each other. They never tried dating each other and were quite blunt in the early stages of their relationship that their feelings would always remain platonic. Hoseok is his other half and understands Jimin better than he understands himself sometimes.
Once he’s backed out of the parking lot, he connects his Bluetooth and speed dials his mother who currently lives in Busan. She picks up on the first ring.
“Honey! I thought you’d never call!”
“Hey, mom, things got a little busy at work. I meant to call sooner.”
She clicks her tongue and Jimin can picture her scrunching her nose like she always does when she disagrees with something, “Call whenever you can, ‘kay? I’ll be here waiting.”
Her words warm his heart and the weight from today melts right off his shoulders. “I got a new client,”
Jimin laughs lightly, “He’s a bit of a hassle.”
He shares his experience with Jeongguk, detailing his previous scandals and how much work he has ahead of him to reshape Jeongguk’s image. His mother listens intently and Jimin talks with her until he pulls into the parking garage of his apartment.
“I just got home,”
“I’ll call you first thing in the morning.” she answers sweetly.
Jimin drops his tone to a soft whisper, “Thanks,”
“Don’t forget I’m here if you need me, honey.”
His mother sighs as she hesitantly says goodbye. She was part of Jimin’s support system when all hell broke loose with Sungwoon. He often thinks about those days at his mother’s home in Busan; the anger, the hurt and ultimately the healing.
On his way up to his apartment, he bows towards one of the sweet cleaning ladies who always goes out of her way to ask Jimin about his day. This time she stops Jimin to hand him a box of cookies.
“I can’t, really.” He bows apologetically.
“Take it, take it.” she insists as she takes one of his hands. “My daughter bought too many and I thought of you.”
After a brief battle of kindness, Jimin takes the box with a deep bow, “You’re too kind.”
“Now go on,” she shoos him away. “you’re a busy young man.”
Jimin laughs before continuing his way.
The nice people he’s encountered throughout his life make up for the handful of evil ones he’s met along the way. They’re part of why he hasn’t murdered some of his clients. A little dramatic? Yes, but Jimin would’ve given anything to not have had Sungwoon in his life.
“Why does that asshole make me think of him?” Jimin grumbles as he slips into his apartment.
This is only the beginning of his relationship with Jeongguk, but Jimin’s already praying for the end.
I’m so excited to begin writing this!! As a PR major, I’m learning more and more about jobs in the industry, so I’ll try my best to utilize my knowledge in this story. To be honest, I think a manager and publicist may be interchangeable in Korea, but I wanted to focus on the aspect of media exposure and reshaping a clients image. ALSO, Jimin falling for Jeongguk is going to be a gradual process, haha. Jeongguk has to earn that ; ) Anyways, the next chapter will be from Jeongguk’s perspective. Jeongguk’s a bit of a jerk, but he gets better, I promise!
Thanks for reading, commenting and dropping a kudo! I’ll see you soon!
p.s. please pay attention to the tags because I will update them as the story progresses. Thanks!
-with love, won
Wednesday morning for Jeongguk is full of training his body for the gala, magazine interviews and suit fittings. After being whisked around since six this morning, he’s finally able to catch a break when he goes to have lunch with his producer and best friend, Kim Namjoon.
“I told him I was gay.” Jeongguk confesses.
Namjoon chokes on a fry, “You what?”
“I told him. The publicist.” Jeongguk stares blankly at the depressing salad on his plate. He really doesn’t want to eat it; would like to stuff his face with pasta, but then Lia would murder him. “His reaction kinda threw me for a loop.”
Namjoon finishes chewing before asking, “How so?”
“He asked why I was telling him, but he didn’t seem weirded out.”
“I’m sure he’s been told lots of things.” Namjoon reasons. “Seems like you trust him enough to share something so personal.”
Jeongguk shrugs, “I’m not sure if it was trust, but…there was something in his eyes that made me want to tell him everything.”
Thinking back on it now, Jeongguk’s never had a publicist he’s entrusted with such knowledge. Even now, he doesn’t understand why he told Jimin that personal fact about himself. Jeongguk’s previous publicists gave in so readily to his wishes because of the money attached to his name. If they obeyed his every whim and behaved, they’d leave with a hefty paycheck. He purposefully did his best to frustrate them just to see how far they’d be willing to go. But…Jeongguk could clearly see that Jimin wasn’t like the rest. Perhaps it’s the fire in his eyes or the shield Jeongguk senses around him. Maybe he’s not like the rest because Jeongguk doesn’t want him to be like them.
“He makes me want to mess with him.” Jeongguk picks at his salad, remembering how he felt staring at Jimin. Honestly, Jeongguk wasn’t expecting someone as striking as Jimin to appear. He tried not to show the shock and attraction on his face but couldn’t control the thoughts racing through his mind. Jimin’s plush lips and soft yet commanding voice replayed themselves in Jeongguk’s head.
Namjoon shakes his head, reaching for his drink, “The sadist in you is showing.”
Jeongguk chuckles as he begrudgingly pops a tomato into his mouth. As a celebrity, he’s constantly scrutinized for everything he does and doesn’t do. Even as he sits to eat this salad, he’s probably being judged by those who recognize him.
Why’s he eating like that? Why isn’t he eating something else? Shouldn’t he be somewhere else?
They’ll question the way he holds his fork, mock the way he chews and resort to posting hate comments behind the safety of their phone screens. Jeongguk’s learned to not let the comments bother him, his company will sue them anyways, so he doesn’t spend much time thinking about it.
“What does your schedule look like after this?” Namjoon asks.
“Fucking packed,” Jeongguk wipes his hands with a napkin, tossing it atop his unfinished salad.
Namjoon laughs, his expression twisting empathetically. “Think you’ll get a vacation anytime soon?”
“The only way I’m getting a vacation is if I break my legs.” Jeongguk cracks.
After this, Jeongguk’s supposed to meet with Jimin and one of the hosts from the Tiger Lily Gala. Jimin explained it’ll be a great way for Jeongguk to boost his image. Jeongguk could care less about his image but maintains it because: 1) it’s his job and 2) he genuinely loves his fans who know him as his stage persona.
Even though he often challenges the image his fans have of him, he does so to see how deep their feelings run, the fake ones will leave no matter what he says. He often wonders how they’d react if he ever came out. Would they brush it off? Cancel him? Understand him? The only people he’s come out to are his parents, Namjoon, Dahye and Jimin.
“Maybe you can give me a break from recording in the studio?” Jeongguk suggests, tilting his head and throwing out the puppy eyes. The eyes Namjoon’s openly shared he’s weak for, he’ll do anything if Jeongguk gives him those eyes.
Namjoon’s explained that it has to do with when they first met back in 2014, two years before Jeongguk’s debut. Jeongguk approached Namjoon with those puppy eyes that held so much admiration and respect. That was when Namjoon started to view himself differently and begun to take his music production seriously. In a strange sense, he’s grateful to Jeongguk for making him the person he is today.
But this time Namjoon wags a finger back and forth, “Those eyes won’t work on me anymore.”
Jeongguk gasps offendedly, clasping a hand to his chest. Namjoon only smiles, endeared by Jeongguk’s cute reaction. After a moment, Jeongguk laughs and slips his mask over his mouth. “I better go.”
Namjoon expected such; he wishes Jeongguk would take better care of himself. “You barely ate.”
Jeongguk grins as he rises from his seat, “I’ll have my publicist buy something for me.”
“You’re an asshole.”
Jeongguk teasingly sticks out his tongue before heading for the exit. He steps into the sunlight and walks briskly to his car across the street. Fans usually don’t stop him on the street, respecting his privacy. It’s the tabloids who follow him around, waiting to catch him doing anything so they can blow it out of proportion. But they make things easier for Jeongguk who uses the tabloids, media and paparazzi to hide his sexuality.
His first scandal was in 2017 after the release of his second mini album. The album topped Melon and Gaon and made it to the Billboard Hot 100 chart. The company praised Jeongguk and advised him he’d have to work even harder in the coming years. He decided to celebrate with a group of celebrity friends at a popular club in Gangnam. The celebration wasn’t anything extravagant; there was drinking and lots of kissing between his friends. Jeongguk watched and laughed and enjoyed himself.
He remembers there being an attractive, older man that expressed interest in him. Jeongguk planned to slip away with him, but things changed when he realized he was being tailed. So, at the last second, he slipped an arm around a woman who was an up and coming actress at the time. The media had a field day with that one, posting it online and releasing numerous articles about Jeongguk and the woman. There was no mention of the man Jeongguk was openly flirting with throughout the night.
That was when Jeongguk realized the slight control he had over his life, spawning the beginning of his recklessness. He quickly realized that if he does this or is seen with this person, then people won’t be interested in the more personal aspects of his life or they won’t know at all.
Some might say he’s wasting his time living a lie.
Jeongguk slips into his black Mercedes, slamming the door shut and checking his phone. There’s two messages from Jimin.
Meet me at Remicone cafe
The meeting won’t last long, we’ll keep it short & sweet
Jeongguk stares at the message before shaking his head and clicking his seatbelt into place.
The thought of Jimin as his personal chauffeur causes a small smile to tug at his lips. He briefly wonders how Jimin would look behind a wheel. He’s probably the type to drive with one hand, muttering curse words whenever someone cuts him off. Of course, the publicist would refer Jeongguk to their contract, stating it’s not his job to handle such trivial matters.
Jeongguk drives off and arrives at Remicone in a matter of minutes. He spots Jimin through the window, seated across from him is an older man with balding hair. Jeongguk takes a deep breath before swinging the door open. When he steps inside, an employee greets him happily and Jeongguk manages a small wave her way before walking over to Jimin.
As he’s approaching, he gives Jimin a quick once over, taking in his attire for today. He looks cute compared to the last two days with a yellow beanie atop his head to suit the June atmosphere, but Jeongguk’s quick to rid himself of such a thought.
Jimin can’t be cute. Publicists aren’t cute.
“Hey,” Jeongguk calls as he settles into the chair beside Jimin. He greets the balding man with a polite bow of his head.
Jimin’s face lights up and he quickly introduces the two. “Jeongguk this is Park Jaesang.”
“Pleasure to meet you!” Jaesang says jovially.
Jeongguk forces himself to smile, wanting this to be over as soon as possible. He slumps in his seat, but quickly straightens up when there’s a firm pinch to his left arm. “The fuc…”
“Jeongguk’s so happy you were able to make time to meet with us.” Jimin says with a smile before cutting his gaze to Jeongguk. Behave is what his eyes say.
Jeongguk glares, jerking his arm out of Jimin’s hold and scooting further away. His left foot begins to tap anxiously beneath the table. I’m not good with new people. Why couldn’t he have sent an email or something?
“Likewise! I can only imagine the type of schedule he currently has.” Jaesang empathizes.
Jimin abruptly places a hand to Jeongguk’s thigh as he says, “Then we should get right to business.”
Jeongguk’s gaze immediately drops to Jimin’s hand and disbelief washes over his face. What the hell?
“I think this’ll be a great way for Jeongguk to attract new fans.” Jimin explains, tightening his grip on Jeongguk’s thigh until his leg finally stops bouncing.
Jeongguk stares at Jimin, eyebrows furrowed and lips twitching. Jimin seems the least bit bothered by his gaze, speaking animatedly to Jaesang about the gala.
Jeongguk struggles to focus on the conversation as his thoughts constantly stray to Jimin’s hand. Why’s it still there? When is he going to move it? Shit.
“What do you think Jeongguk?” Jaesang questions.
Jeongguk blinks, throat going dry as he attempts to process the conversation he missed. He looks to Jimin for help, but Jimin pointedly ignores his gaze.
Jeongguk smiles shakily. “I think it’s great, I’m excited to be there this weekend.”
Jaesang’s response is a boisterous laugh, Jeongguk decides to join him and their choppy laughter fills the café. Jimin looks between the two, amused by Jeongguk’s skill of piecing together a conversation he so obviously missed. They continue chatting excitedly until Jaesang’s phone rings.
“If you’ll excuse me.” Jaesang rises from his seat, bowing politely before leaving to take a call.
The second he rounds the corner to the bathroom, Jeongguk snatches up Jimin’s hand and holds it accusingly. “What the hell?”
Jimin yanks his hand away with a scowl, “You were tapping your foot.”
“I do it all the time.”
“Really?” Jimin begins to say something else but stops himself. “I did it to calm you…seemed like you were anxious.”
“I don’t need you to calm me down.” Jeongguk snaps back and there’s more bite to his words than intended. He regrets it the moment the words leave his lips.
Jimin sighs, “Right, right. Just like you don’t need me in general.” He sips from his iced coffee, blatantly ignoring Jeongguk’s death glare. Once he’s drained his cup, he turns to him again. “I know what anxiety looks like. Believe it or not, I’ve experienced it before.”
Jeongguk remains silent, eyes low as Jimin speaks.
“Stop being so fucking childish, not everything I do is to annoy you.” Jimin figures he may as well get everything off his chest now instead of being a passive aggressive dick in the future. “And one more thing; I’m not your puppet master and you’re not a goddamn puppet. Do whatever the fuck you want just don’t treat me like shit.”
Jeongguk lifts his head to watch as Jimin types away at his laptop. He stares at him, thoughts running amuck with what to say. And the answer is simple, really. An apology would suffice.
“I…” he begins.
Jimin doesn’t stop typing, only raising an eyebrow.
“Sorry…” Jeongguk mutters, ears ablaze. “For being a dick to you.”
The typing stops.
Jeongguk places a hand to his nape. “Thanks for trying to…y’know.”
Jimin looks to Jeongguk from the corner of his eyes, “Honestly thought you’d give me more pushback with that apology.” He confesses.
Jeongguk smirks, “I can be a bit of an asshole, but I know when to apologize.”
“Do you now?” Jimin challenges.
Jeongguk grins, charmed by the fire in Jimin’s eyes. “I’d like to think so.”
They gaze into each other’s eyes and Jeongguk’s suddenly thinking of how nice it’d be to shut Jimin up with a kiss. With lips as pretty as those, Jeongguk’s certain Jimin’s a good kisser. Probably a pro in the field.
Jimin breaks eye contact, cutting the tension between them. “Well, we’ll just have to see about that.” Jimin’s typing continues and a small smile dances along his lips.
When their short & sweet meeting comes to an end, they walk Jaesang to his car and exchange goodbyes. They wait till his car backs out of the parking lot before turning to each other.
“I’m glad that’s finally over.” Jimin exhales and his shoulders relax.
Jeongguk shares the same look of relief, “So am I.”
“Did you eat?” Jimin suddenly asks as he slips out his car keys.
“Are you offering to buy me lunch?” Jeongguk’s eyes gleam playfully.
“Take it or leave it.” Jimin hums.
Is this his way of waving a white flag? Jeongguk thinks. “I’ll have to leave it this time.”
Jimin shrugs, “Your loss.”
“Isn’t it yours since you offered?” Jeongguk jokingly fires back.
Jimin grins with his head slightly tilted so his hair falls into his eyes. “I’ll see you Saturday.”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk’s eyes twinkle as he stares back at Jimin. “Saturday.”
Strangely enough, Jeongguk’s beginning to feel excited about this weekend and manages to survive the rest of the day.
On Thursday, he sits in front of a mirror with rollers and pins in his hair. With the gala approaching, his life is now completely centered around it. He has a final fitting this evening and a shoot Friday morning.
“I think I’m fucked.” Jeongguk blurts to Dahye as she styles his hair.
She laughs, “Why and how?”
“I’m either sexually frustrated or desperate.” Jeongguk reasons more to himself. “That has to be it.”
“You still haven’t told me why.”
Jeongguk recaps what happened between him and Jimin on Wednesday, explaining how he pictured Jimin doing things with his lips no publicist should ever do. And how it seemed like Jimin genuinely cared for his wellbeing.
Dahye snorts, “You like him, don’t you?”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen as if disgusted. “Isn’t there a difference between liking a person and wanting to fuck them?”
“That’s a thin line there, buddy.”
“I don’t think it’s that thin…” Jeongguk mumbles.
Dahye gives him a look, accustomed to his stubborn attitude. She’s been styling Jeongguk since his debut, so she knows what his every expression means. There are a few she isn’t privy to, but most of them she understands. His current look is dosed with confusion and desire, it’s befitting of the style he’s going for, for the gala.
“You can’t have sex with him, I’m sure that’s in the contract somewhere.” Dahye says as she begins to pluck out the rollers.
Jeongguk’s hair falls into his eyes, “Right…but what if he agrees?”
“Jimin doesn’t seem like the hit it and quit it type. Especially with you.” Dahye scrunches her nose. “You were a bit of an ass to him.”
“I’m an ass to everyone.”
“Which is why you don’t have a boyfriend.” she snaps back.
Jeongguk grimaces, “Ouch.”
“You know it’s true.”
Dahye’s witnessed some of Jeongguk’s biggest relationship fails. Many of the men he’s approached were out and ready to go public with their relationships. Jeongguk wasn’t and still isn’t ready for that. She isn’t sure if he’ll ever be, but she hopes the day will come.
“I’m working on it, okay?” Jeongguk mutters.
“Work on it faster or you’ll miss your chance, now tilt your head back.”
Jeongguk does so begrudgingly, closing his eyes as Dahye runs her fingers through his hair. After this, he has a brief break before he’s back at it again for the rest of the day. He doesn’t mind the hustle because at the end of the day he gets to do what he truly loves—singing. When he sings, whether it be in front of a huge crowd or his mirror, is when he truly feels like himself.
Attending galas, socializing events, or the like, has always been something Jeongguk’s detested in his career, but he’s met amazing people along the way, and they’ve made such events worthwhile. However, the person he’s looking forward to seeing the most is Jimin.
How will he dress? How will he look? Is he going to bring a date? Jeongguk understands the last question is a bit farfetched being that Jimin will be “working” but he can’t help but to wonder.
What kind of person is someone like Jimin attracted to?
“Done!” Dahye cheers with a wide smile on her dark red lips. She takes a step back, placing her hands to her hips and standing proudly as she admires her art.
Jeongguk stares at his reflection, taking in his round eyes and the slight curl to his bangs. He tilts his head, admiring his sharp jawline and attractive side profile. Jeongguk knows he’s handsome as he’s been told on multiple occasions, but there’s a single question on his mind:
“Do you think I’m Jimin’s type?”
Dahye’s pierced eyebrows draw together confusedly.
“N-never mind,” he clambers out of the chair, ears burning red as he scrambles for his bag. “Forget I asked.”
Dahye grins, “You do like him.” she boasts, stepping in front of Jeongguk to stop him from leaving the room.
Jeongguk avoids her gaze, too embarrassed to deny the accusation.
“Maybe not like, but you’re interested.” She concludes. “Who wouldn’t be?”
Dahye’s question follows Jeongguk throughout the rest of his day and to Saturday evening when he’s waiting in the XS Ent. lobby for Jimin to arrive. He stands in a fitting black suit that hugs his muscles and accentuates the color of his eyes, and his hair (per Dahye’s insistence) hangs in jet black, wet curls over his eyes.
As his fans so eloquently said when they saw his Twitter update: He looks like sex. Walking sex.
“Have you heard from Jimin?” Jeongguk asks, glancing at his watch. “It’s nearly 9:00pm.”
“He might’ve caught some traffic on the way.” Dahye reasons, turning Jeongguk this way and that way to assure every bit of his outfit is perfect. “Ah, Dahye you did it again.” She hums to herself.
Jeongguk grins crookedly, “What would I do without you?”
“Constantly wear oversized hanboks and sweats.” Dahye replies without a second thought.
Jeongguk nods in agreement as he recalls the tour from last year when he’d slip in and out of airports in different hanboks. The colors would always change, but the brand remained the same.
“Oh! He’s here!” Dahye exclaims as she steps back, allowing Jeongguk to turn around.
Jeongguk turns slowly and his annoyed expression is quickly replaced with shock upon seeing Jimin. There’s no denying Jimin’s attractiveness. It seeps through in each step he takes and the confident way he carries himself.
Dahye grins to herself, arms crossed under her chest as she watches Jeongguk watch Jimin.
Stunning isn’t the right word to describe Jimin. Frankly, Jeongguk’s beginning to think there are no words to describe him. He’s a walking God in a red suit with his hair slicked back. For a split second Jeongguk forgets this is his publicist walking towards him and not his date.
“I apologize for running late.” Jimin bows deeply once he reaches them. He straightens up and flashes an apologetic smile.
Jeongguk’s gaze is immediately drawn to his glossy lips which look fuller than usual and they’re so damn pretty.
“It’s totally okay!” Dahye assures, turning to Jeongguk and nudging him in the elbow. “Right, Googie?”
Jeongguk clears his throat, (ignoring the nickname Dahye came up with when he was a rookie), “Yeah…” Once he’s recovered from the assault on his heart, he adds, “You dress up well.”
Jimin smirks devilishly, “Of course and you’re not so bad yourself.” His gaze flicks across Jeongguk’s body, lingering on the dip of Jeongguk’s black dress shirt where a sliver of skin peeps through.
Jeongguk doesn’t miss the flicker of fire in Jimin’s eyes; the way his gaze seems to drag even lower across Jeongguk’s body. A swell of pride bursts in Jeongguk’s chest and he wonders if Jimin realizes how he’s staring right now. How his gaze burns every inch of Jeongguk’s body.
“Well, shall we go?” Dahye interrupts the moment, hooking her arm with Jeongguk’s and tugging him towards the door. Jeongguk stumbles with her, nearly tripping over his feet as she yanks him to the black Escalade. He’s shoved into the backseat and Dahye hurries around to the passenger seat, forcing Jimin to sit beside Jeongguk.
Jimin, seemingly unaware to Dahye’s intentions, settles beside Jeongguk. Eunwoo who’s driving tonight, greets them from the driver’s seat. Jimin immediately melts when he sees him because he’s weak for handsome people. Jeongguk looks questioningly between the two, noting the way Jimin’s gaze seems to linger on Eunwoo.
The moment they drive off, Jimin buckles up before turning to Jeongguk. “I wrote a list of protocols for you.” His eyes shine excitedly and Jeongguk can clearly tell Jimin must’ve spent some time thinking this up.
“You wrote…a list of protocols?” Jeongguk questions, gawking at Jimin who appears genuinely serious about the list of rules he’s written up. “You’re kidding.”
“Not in the least.” Jimin flashes Jeongguk a row of bright, white teeth. “They’re short, I promise.” He squeezes Jeongguk’s thigh to assure him and Jeongguk’s breath hitches.
Jimin smirks to himself. “I’ve discovered your weakness.” He singsongs.
Jimin slides his hand up Jeongguk’s thigh, inching dangerously close to his crotch. “When I touch you,”
Dahye plugs in her earphones to drown out the sexual tension taking place behind her and Eunwoo looks questioningly in the rearview mirror as he passes through a greenlight.
“You behave.” Jimin finishes and his eyes gleam in the dark.
The corners of Jeongguk’s lips twitch, “I behave?” his voice deepens as his thoughts race to something more sexual.
Jimin removes his hand with a laugh and returns to the publicist Jeongguk met Monday—professional and confident. He reads through the brief list of rules regarding Jeongguk’s appearance at the gala and the people he should avoid. Jeongguk listens intently, studying Jimin’s face and smiling to himself when he realizes how content Jimin seems with his work. When they arrive at Shilla hotel where the gala is taking place, Jeongguk’s memorized the protocols down to a T.
“Understood?” Jimin asks.
Jeongguk nods as the door is opened, “Yes, you don’t want me to have a life, got it.”
Jimin rolls his eyes, following Jeongguk out of the car and into the rain of flashing cameras. Paparazzi call for Jeongguk to look this way and that way. He waves with a practiced smile that stretches across his face and Jimin stands confidently beside him. They walk down the red carpet and through the opened doors into a packed entryway. Jeongguk’s immediately greeted by a plethora of men and women who bow his way; some step forward to embrace him. Jimin watches everything unfold with the same practiced smile on his lips.
Once Jeongguk’s finished speaking with a few guests, they’re whisked to the dining hall where a large cardboard sign reads: Welcome to the Tiger Lily Gala! And in a smaller font, it explains the purpose of the gala: ‘To help lost children in South Korea by fundraising for orphanages.’
There’s numerous tables lined throughout the dining hall with candles and roses as the centerpieces. Several chandeliers sparkle as they hang from the ceiling and classical music, accompanied by indistinct chatter, fills the room.
Jeongguk whistles as he looks around, “They went all out, huh?”
“Clearly.” Jimin agrees. “I like it.”
Jeongguk looks to him, “You do?”
“Mhm, I’m a fan of extravagance.” Jimin answers as he walks a few paces ahead of Jeongguk to steal a cocktail from a passing waiter.
Jeongguk decides he may as well indulge a bit in the evening and follows Jimin into the dining hall. He watches as Jimin happily mingles with A-list celebrities, smiling his way through the crowd. He looks worry free as he converses and Jeongguk wonders if there’s a switch in Jimin’s head, telling him how to act around certain people. It’s mesmerizing and slightly terrifying.
A gentle squeeze to his shoulder forces Jeongguk to look away and when he turns, he’s met with Namjoon’s warm eyes.
“Surprise!” Namjoon does jazz hands as dimples melt his cheeks.
Jeongguk grins, feeling at ease upon seeing a familiar face in a sea of question marks. “Why’re you here?”
“Let’s just say there’s a certain someone I’m hoping to run into.” Namjoon answers as he peers around the dining hall.
“Who?” Jeongguk follows his gaze.
“Your publicist’s boss.” Namjoon hums before tapping Jeongguk on the shoulder and slipping away towards the drinks table.
Bewilderment settles on Jeongguk’s face as he wonders why Namjoon would want to see Jimin’s boss. He’s a nice guy; too handsome for his own good and educated. Jeongguk met him in passing prior to his first meeting with Jimin. He’s not the type to immediately like people he’s just met, but Seokjin was funny and pleasant to be around. Jeongguk forgoes such thoughts for something much more entertaining such as sauntering up to Jimin who’s chatting excitedly with a redhead. When he reaches them, he naturally places a hand to Jimin’s lower back, like lovers and greets the redhead with a smile.
Jimin, who seems the least bit surprised by Jeongguk’s sudden appearance, sidesteps out of his touch, “Taehyung this is Jeongguk…my new client. In our line of work, he’s known as a lost cause.”
The redhead, as Jeongguk now knows as Taehyung, steps forward with a square smile. “Pleasure to meet you.”
Jeongguk shakes his hand while studying Jimin’s face. “You two work together? And I’m not a lost cause.”
“He’s new at Glitz and I’ve been tasked with…keeping an eye on him of sorts.” Jimin explains. “And you totally are.”
“Jimin’s amazing.” Taehyung gushes, pulling his hand back and beaming.
“I’ve heard.” Jeongguk murmurs.
“Taehyung’s also someone you should keep an eye on,” Jimin informs with a crooked smile. The kind of smile Jeongguk’s never seen before. “He has a few tricks up his sleeve.”
They spend a fair amount of time conversing with Taehyung about the entertainment industry and what it’s like working with celebrities. Jeongguk even shares a few stories about meeting A-list actors who were entirely full of themselves. They share a laugh and Jeongguk decides Taehyung isn’t a bad guy. He’d love to talk with him a bit more, but his thoughts and gaze always ends up straying to Jimin.
Jimin who handles his liquor extremely well and paces himself when drinking. Jimin who maneuvers Jeongguk around the dining hall with ease. Jimin who coaches Jeongguk on guests he should know but can’t remember in the moment. Jimin who knows everything about him, but who Jeongguk knows nothing about.
When Jeongguk’s called to the stage for an impromptu speech, he’s prepared for it because Jimin sent him an email the other night with talking points and whose names he should definitely mention in his speech. “Talk about this guy, he likes getting his ass kissed, but you didn’t hear that from me.” Jimin explained in the email. Once he’s finished making his speech, Jeongguk spends another hour talking with people he’ll come to forget in the morning. By the time the dining hall is transformed into a dancefloor, Jeongguk’s mentally exhausted.
“If someone asks about my next album, I’m flipping them off.” Jeongguk grumbles.
Jimin laughs, “Sorry, you can’t do that.”
“Right, I can’t because as my publicist you’re not allowing me to freely express myself.” Jeongguk replies dryly.
Jimin laughs harder than the last time, leaning into Jeongguk and hitting him in the shoulder. His sudden giddiness is probably due to the alcohol kicking in and Jeongguk’s grateful for it.
“You’re funny.” Jimin giggles.
Jeongguk smiles, “So I’ve heard.” His eyes twinkle as he watches Jimin recover from the bout of laughter that caused him to careen forward. Overcome with the urge to have Jimin closer, he pulls him by the waist until they’re pressed hip to hip. Jimin releases a soft gasp, barely audible above the music and chatter, but Jeongguk hears it.
He studies Jimin’s face for a moment before leaning in, “Dance with me.” He whispers.
Jimin gawks up at him and the confusion on his face causes Jeongguk to chuckle and hold him tighter. When the music changes to something slower, Jeongguk begins moving and Jimin hesitantly follows his lead. He slings his arms over Jeongguk’s shoulders and mutters something about this being above his pay grade. Jimin fits snuggly in Jeongguk’s arms; bodies connected like long-lost puzzle pieces. They sway left and right, allowing the music to flow through their veins.
“Have you danced before?” Jeongguk asks.
Jimin looks into his eyes, “Yes…but it’s been a while.”
Jeongguk’s hand slides lower, resting comfortably against the dip of Jimin’s back. “How long?”
Jimin’s eyes flutter at the sudden movement, but he doesn’t dwell on it, deciding it’d be best not to focus on his feelings (or how Jeongguk’s making him feel). “Mm, a year or two.”
Jeongguk hums to himself, gaze dropping to Jimin’s shimmering lips. They linger for a moment too long because Jimin asks, “Is the gloss too much for your liking?”
Jeongguk coughs, quickly averting his gaze. “No,” he swallows thickly as Jimin’s gaze burns into him.
“Or maybe you like it?” Jimin teases, figuring he should have his fun now because who knows when Jeongguk’s going to return to his usually arrogant self.
Jeongguk laughs, looking back into Jimin’s eyes and grinning. He doesn’t speak for a moment as he moves them across the dancefloor. They smoothly pass another couple and Jeongguk stuns Jimin by raising his hand for a twirl. Jimin laughs softly as he twirls. Once he returns from the spin, he giddily places his hands to Jeongguk’s shoulders.
“I wasn’t expecting that.” Jimin murmurs with twinkling eyes. When he looks into Jeongguk’s eyes, his smile stretches even more. It’s such a lovely smile, causing Jimin’s eyes to disappear into little crescents.
Ever so softly, Jeongguk replies, “Your gloss…” he gently brushes a strand of hair out of Jimin’s face. “I do like it.”
Jimin’s eyes widen, he stares at Jeongguk in shock, lips pressed together as he struggles to gather his thoughts. Jeongguk continues to stare at him, soaking in his presence and striking beauty.
His lips are really nice though, Jeongguk thinks as his gaze once again drops to Jimin’s lips. Why are they so fucking nice?
“Uhm,” Jimin looks away with a nervous laugh. “Thanks.”
Jeongguk dumbly gapes at Jimin, unsure how to explain his staring or words. The longer he stares at him, the more the urge to kiss him grows. To cross that fragile boundary and do something. Perhaps Jimin would give in and try to see where this would go? Maybe…
“Wanna get out of here?” Jimin asks. “Just for a second.” He slips out of Jeongguk’s arms and takes a step back. There’s an almost frantic look in his eyes as he gazes up at Jeongguk.
“Is…is that allowed?” Jeongguk questions, remembering the strict protocols they went over on the drive here.
Jimin reaches up to run a hand through his hair, but stops himself at the last second, “I’m allowing it. If anyone asks, I’ll explain.”
They wait for the song to end before slipping away to the balcony. They pass a few people who stop to briefly talk to Jeongguk, but he brushes them off, eager to be alone with Jimin. Once they make it to the balcony, Jimin exhales loudly, throwing his hands over the railing and leaning forward.
Jeongguk watches in a mix of horror and admiration as Jimin basks beneath the moonlight. His skin glows and his hair shines; he looks like a star. Slowly, Jeongguk steps to stand beside him. He’s silent for a heartbeat, gazing up at the moon before turning to look at Jimin. Even though they’re standing so close, it still feels like Jimin’s a universe away. Looking at Jimin, Jeongguk realizes he barely knows anything about him, whereas Jimin probably took a crash course on all things Jeongguk. But he’s no good at starting personal conversations with someone he’s treated like shit.
“You’re staring.” Jimin deadpans without turning his head.
Jeongguk flusters for a second but quickly recovers. “I can’t look?”
“You might fall in love.” Jimin answers without missing a beat.
“That doesn’t sound too bad.” Jeongguk murmurs, noticing the quirk of Jimin’s lips.
“I’m too much for you, sweetheart. Give it up.” Jimin replies.
“Maybe I’m into that. Too much.” Jeongguk challenges, the beating of his heart urging him on.
Jimin releases a soft giggle that causes Jeongguk’s stomach to nosedive. Being around Jimin is like being on a rollercoaster. One second Jeongguk wants to pin him to a wall and kiss him drunk, and the next second he just wants to spend forever gazing at him.
“Really?” Jimin asks more to himself than to Jeongguk. “Things would’ve been totally different if you were my first client. He was more of an asshole than you.” He divulges, hands clenched together as they dangle over the railing.
“That’s saying a lot.” Jeongguk jokes, studying Jimin’s face, waiting with bated breath for him to laugh.
Jimin laughs lightly with a slight eye roll, “You’re not as bad as you think you are.” His words drift off as dark memories from years ago fill his thoughts.
Jeongguk sees the detachment in Jimin’s eyes but doesn’t know how to respond to it. He chews thoughtfully on his bottom lip before finally breaking the silence, “Can I ask…about him? Your first client?”
Jimin finally turns to look Jeongguk in the eyes, “Ask all you want…doesn’t mean I’ll answer though.”
“That’s okay.” Jeongguk assures with such desperation, it catches Jimin by surprise. “How bad…was he? Or I mean, sorry, I suck at this.”
Jimin flashes an endeared smile, “It’s okay,” he sighs heavily before continuing, “His name was Ha Sungwoon.”
The name sounds familiar and after a moment of pondering, Jeongguk recalls Sungwoon was a famous singer around the time of his debut. He’d see Sungwoon at music shows, smiling and laughing with the other artists. He seemed like a relatively decent guy.
“Sungwoon was my first in a lot of ways…” There’s weight to Jimin’s words, a weight that holds all the memories he struggled to overcome and move on from. “I learned a lot while I was his publicist; experienced a lot of things and was happy for the most part.”
Jeongguk’s eyes rest on Jimin’s fidgeting hands; he focuses on the way Jimin habitually picks at his fingers, tugging and tugging until the skin rips free.
“He uhm…” Jimin swallows and abruptly breaks away from the railing. “I’m sorry, maybe we can do this another time.” A shaky smile pulls at his lips as he makes a beeline for the exit.
Jeongguk reaches for Jimin’s hand, unsure of what to say as he notices the fear in Jimin’s eyes. “Jimin,”
“Sorry, I shouldn’t—we shouldn’t be doing this.” Jimin tugs his hand away and slips through the doors, leaving Jeongguk to stand beneath the moonlight.
The following day they don’t see each other, but that night is all Jeongguk can think about. The panic in Jimin’s eyes and the hesitance in his actions. The way he shined beneath the moonlight and how badly Jeongguk wanted to kiss him. Maybe then he’d get closer to learning more about Jimin.
There were a couple articles about them slow dancing together, but many thought it was “cute” and assumed Jeongguk “must really like his new publicist”. There were a few comments that speculated whether they were sleeping together or messing around, but Jimin quickly dealt with those to protect Jeongguk’s sexuality.
Two weeks later when they finally meet to discuss Jeongguk’s upcoming fan meet, Jimin doesn’t mention that night. He acts as though it never happened, and his nonchalance digs at Jeongguk’s heart like an itch he can’t scratch.
“This is the first time I’ve worked with an artist as they’re preparing for a fan meet.” Jimin shares excitedly.
Jeongguk watches him with a blank expression, annoyed with himself for being unable to stay annoyed at Jimin for long. He has a right to his privacy. Besides…I still don’t know what I want from this. Sex? Yeah that’d be great, but then he’d probably quit and I’m not that much of an asshole, even though my previous partners would beg to differ.
“I have a meeting an hour from now, but I’ll call you later.” Jimin says to Jeongguk before turning to Eunwoo. “You can call me too if you need anything or have any questions.”
“Will do.” Eunwoo replies with a soft smile.
Jeongguk points between the two of them. “When did you two get so close?”
“It happened naturally,” Jimin answers as he slips his iPad into his bag. “If you need me, text me.”
Fearful of missing his chance, Jeongguk jumps from his seat and asks, “Can we talk?”
Jimin looks up, gazing questioningly into Jeongguk’s round eyes. “About?” he looks away, busying himself with his bag.
“That night…at the gala….” Jeongguk mutters.
Eunwoo looks between them, clearly having missed what went down that night. He awkwardly clears his throat, rising from his seat and slipping out the door. Jimin watches him go and mutters something under his breath before turning to Jeongguk.
“What about it?” he asks sharply.
Jeongguk shifts uncomfortably, “I’m sorry for asking about something I shouldn’t have.”
Jimin sighs deeply, pinning Jeongguk with an unreadable expression. His eyebrows are drawn together and his lips are pulled into a frown. It almost looks as though he’s battling with himself. After a moment, Jimin drops his bag back onto the table.
“No, I uhm…” He takes another breath as he runs his fingers through his hair. “I thought I was ready to talk about it—about what happened with Sungwoon—but I wasn’t.” Jimin explains.
Jeongguk is silent as he stands on the opposite end of the table, giving Jimin the space to talk.
“I keep a distance between my clients to protect myself.” Jimin continues and after a pause, he asks, “Why are you so interested in me anyways?”
Jeongguk’s expression remains neutral, taking in the apparent confusion in Jimin’s tone and the question in his eyes.
Jimin fidgets with the strap of his messenger bag, “I’ve seen the way you look at me…like you hate me and want me at the same time.”
“Because I do.” Jeongguk says as he walks around the table to stand in front of Jimin. “I hate your confidence and how fucking attractive it is. Hate the way you so easily control me. How I allow it, but at the same time...I can’t get enough of it.”
Startled by his closeness, Jimin clutches his bag to his chest, using it as a barrier to stop Jeongguk from moving any closer.
“I want you,” Jeongguk’s gaze flicks to Jimin’s lips. “I think I’ve wanted you since day one.”
“You’re mistaken,” Jimin replies coldly as he stares at Jeongguk in contempt.
“There’s one way to find out.” Jeongguk leans in close until they’re a breath apart. It’d be so easy to just lean forward and press his lips to Jimin’s.
Jimin looks to him with condemnation in his gaze, “You just want me because I challenge you.”
“I think it’s more than that.” Jeongguk murmurs.
Jimin shoves him away with his messenger bag, “Don’t think,” he opens the door and says before slipping away. “It’s bothersome.”
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to follow him down the hall, “Will you quit?” he calls in a panic.
Jimin freezes. Not this shit again.
“If I continue coming onto you…will you quit?”
Jimin groans exasperatedly before turning on his heel and storming up to Jeongguk, “We signed a contract and besides, you’re not the first client to want to fuck me.” He grits, eyes ablaze.
Jeongguk is quick to counter, “Is that what Sungwoon did? Did he fuck you?”
Jimin’s mouth immediately clamps shut and Jeongguk watches as the fire dies in his eyes. It dawns on him in a matter of seconds that, that was too far.
“I’m sorry.” He looks away unable to handle the sudden emptiness in Jimin’s eyes. “That was out of line.”
“It was.” Jimin states. “You know…apologies become meaningless if you use them too much.” He shakes his head before turning away and this time he doesn’t look back.
The second Jimin disappears around the corner, Jeongguk mutters a slew of curse words under his breath as he presses his head to the wall. A few employees shoot questioning gazes his way, but Jeongguk doesn’t bother to dispute any judgement they might have towards him. The only thing on his mind is the fact that he just pressed the restart button on his relationship with Jimin.
“So…you’ve fucked up.” Namjoon deadpans as he coddles a glass of beer in his left hand. “You only call me out for drinks when there’s something on your mind or when you’ve done something wrong. Judging by your expression, it’s a mix of both.”
It’s their thing to have late night drinks that consist of releasing their bottled-up feelings. It’s a form of therapy for Jeongguk who often loses himself in the constant rush of fame. However, Namjoon likes to use such time to listen, give advice and ultimately gush about Seokjin who’s recently stolen his heart.
“Spill it.” Namjoon urges as he chugs the last of his beer.
“There’s nothing to spill…I just…I rushed things with Jimin. I kept pushing and pushing…”
“Did you pull a condom out on him during a meeting?”
Jeongguk glares, “Hell no! Why would you think that?”
“I might’ve heard a thing or two from Dahye and you talk about him with such…sexual energy.” Namjoon elaborates.
Jeongguk squints skeptically, “Is that a thing? Sexual energy my ass.”
“Would you rather I call it ‘Jeongguk hasn’t had sex in weeks energy?” Namjoon retorts. “I can call it that if you’d like.”
“You’re annoying.” Jeongguk mutters as he waves the bartender over. “You want another drink?”
“I think I’m good, I’m meeting Seokjin after this.” Namjoon declines, flashing a cheeky grin.
“You’re meeting Jimin’s boss at nine in the evening?” Jeongguk questions in disbelief.
“It was the only time he was available.”
Jeongguk guffaws, “Let me guess, you’re meeting in his bedroom because it was the only available meeting space?”
Namjoon gasps, “How’d you know?”
“Hyung,” Jeongguk whistles. “I didn’t know you had it in you.”
Namjoon laughs with a shake of his head. “We’re actually meeting to talk about you. He wants to make sure you two haven’t encountered any hiccups.”
Jeongguk orders another beer, “So, you’re my manager now?”
Namjoon laughs lightly, brushing off Jeongguk’s comment with a slight wave before asking, “You rushing things with Jimin…is that a hiccup, Jeongguk?”
“I don’t know.” Jeongguk chews at the corner of his bottom lip. “I don’t know him, but I say things that hurt him, and I don’t want to hurt him.”
Namjoon studies Jeongguk’s distraught expression.
“Sex isn’t the only thing I think about doing with him.”
“What do you think about then?”
“Shit, don’t do this to me, hyung.” Jeongguk whines as the bartender returns with his glass. He takes the glass and takes a sip. Maybe if he drinks, it’ll give him the liquid courage needed to confront his feelings.
Namjoon raises his hands in surrender. “I’m not doing anything.”
“You’re doing that thing. It’s the exact same thing you did when I first came out to you.”
Coming out to Namjoon was like ripping off a band aid that had been under water for a long time; loose, soggy and less painful.
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Namjoon replies playfully before switching to a more serious tone. “What do you think about, Jeongguk?”
Jeongguk sighs, “Holding hands in public, posting those annoying couple selfies to Instagram, kissing under the rain where people might see.”
“You’re in love wi—”
“Ew, fuck, don’t use that word. I’m not there yet.” Jeongguk interjects. “I just…”
Namjoon waits with bated breath for Jeongguk to say it.
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” Jeongguk grumbles.
Namjoon continues smiling as he gestures for Jeongguk to go on.
“I like him or maybe I aspire to be like him.” Jeongguk tightens his grip on the glass and his cheeks redden. “His confidence makes me feel as though I can be confident in finally being myself.”
Jeongguk knows there’s more to Jimin than his confidence. It’s the way he can command an entire room with a single gaze, the way he holds his head high despite the rumors about his past that makes Jeongguk’s heart skip every goddamn time.
“It’s been so long since I’ve genuinely liked someone, I almost forgot what it felt like.” He murmurs, taking another sip from his glass.
The last person he liked was the person who made him realize his sexuality. It was his senior year in high school. He was left to pack up his feelings and move on. Jeongguk doesn’t like to recall such bitter memories and since then, he’s been careful to guard his heart from further heartbreak. Being an idol doesn’t make it any easier. It’s hard to find someone who loves him for him and not as the persona his company has crafted for him.
Jeongguk abruptly places his glass down and pins Namjoon with a desperate gaze.
“You’re looking at me like you want me to tell you something.” Namjoon mutters cautiously.
“Tell me to stop feeling this way.”
Namjoon shakes his head, “I can’t do that.”
“Even if I tell you to stop, your heart won’t.” Namjoon shrugs. “Take it slow for now. You shouldn’t rush lov—like.” He corrects himself at the last second, saying with a warm smile. “You shouldn’t rush like.”
Jeongguk commits those words to memory. He etches them into his heart alongside Jimin’s smiling face.
“And besides,” Namjoon continues warmly. “this time might be different.”
Namjoon shrugs, “He might like you back. Actually,” he snaps his fingers. “I’m certain he does. Call it a hunch,”
“What if your hunch is wrong? What if he doesn’t?” Jeongguk asks, tone softening and lisp appearing as fear wears at his heart.
“Sucks for you, Jimin’s quite the catch.”
Jeongguk punches Namjoon in the chest. “Thanks, I really needed that confidence boost.” He replies sarcastically.
Namjoon laughs before saying in a more parental tone, “It’ll make you stronger, braver and more confident in yourself. More confident in being yourself.”
Jeongguk hadn’t thought about it that way. Rejection has always been something he’s struggled with and the looks that came with it. The judgement and sometimes pity for not being what society expects him to be.
“Anyways,” Namjoon slams a hand to his shoulder. “I better go.”
Jeongguk waves him off and watches him go before ordering one more beer. He’ll drink it, ruminate on this conversation, and ultimately decide what happens next.
Ah, yes, in the wise words of Kim Namjoon: take it slow. There’s a lot going on in the world right now and his words don’t pertain to just romance/crushes, but in general. I hope you all remember to take things slow and to be kind to yourselves during these unknown and difficult times.
Anyways! Thank you as always for reading!
-with love, won
Chapter 3: A Shattered Mask
Trigger warnings – mention of sexual harassment/stalking, trauma. This chapter was a monster to write, it’s 9k, so prepare yourselves!! I’m a bit nervous about this, but I hope you enjoy it : )
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
To be wanted. To be so desired you’re claimed by those who’re interested in you. Like an object.
“I want you.”
Jimin’s all too familiar with being wanted.
Wanted but not loved.
Sungwoon wanted him. He wanted him so much, he dare not let anyone else near Jimin. Jimin doesn’t like to think about those times; the phone calls, emails, voicemails, and roses that would randomly appear at his office. The memories crawl beneath his skin like ants, biting away at the softest and sweetest parts of him.
Jimin doesn’t want to be wanted. He wants what Jeongguk said days ago, he wants “more than that.” Jeongguk made him feel “more than that”, that night at the gala. Jimin could feel it in his hesitant actions and gentle way of speaking. He was completely different compared to the person Jimin initially met. That night at the gala, Jimin felt his heart move for the first time in a long time.
“…ark. Mr. Park?”
Jimin snaps out of his daze and smiles back at the lawyer handling his case. “Sorry…what were you saying?”
The lawyer, Lee Joon Young repeats, “Your restraining order against Mr. Ha is ending soon.”
Jimin’s expression falls and bitterness fills his chest. “Right…”
“We can discuss any further legal actions if you’d like to take any.”
Jimin shakes his head as he gathers his belongings, “That won’t be necessary.”
Joon Young gazes questionably across the table. “You don’t want to pursue anything else?”
“No…it’s bothersome.” He smiles meekly as he heads for the door. “Thanks, I’ll see you again.”
Jimin holds up a hand to stop him from saying anything further. “Thank you.”
Joon Young bites his tongue and bows as Jimin sees himself out. The door clicks shut behind him and he leans against it to gather his thoughts. Even though it’s been nearly three years since Sungwoon, the memories remain as vivid as those first days. Of course, Jimin hasn’t seen him around, but there’s echoes of him in the places they went to together. Echoes of him on the intimate places of Jimin’s body.
With a deep breath, Jimin shakes off those bitter emotions and walks down the long hallway. He passes several familiar faces and they look his way with a smile. Jimin’s frequented the Lee Law Firm often, so he’s friendly with quite a few lawyers and prosecutors. There’s a particular prosecutor Jimin is fond of; he’s quick-witted, wise with a touch arrogance and coldness that attracts many. Jimin especially likes his low and thoughtful way of speaking—it’s how he wins all his cases.
“Is that Park Jimin I see?” a voice bellows from down the hall.
Jimin follows the voice and his gaze lands on the prosecutor in question. “Yoongi!” Jimin exclaims as he bounds happily towards him.
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen your face around here.” Yoongi says, pulling Jimin in for an awkward side hug.
“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” Jimin asks with a wide smile.
Yoongi agrees as he takes a step back to give Jimin a once over. “Looks like Glitz is treating you well.”
“As well as ever since I’ve taken on a rather difficult client.”
“Jeon Jeongguk, right?”
Yoongi squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. “Let me know if he gives you any trouble.”
Jimin smiles warmly, recalling the memories he has with Yoongi. He was around when Jimin first pressed charges against Sungwoon. He was a mentor of sorts, helping Jimin with the legal stuff and finding a suitable lawyer that would win the case. They grew even closer after Yoongi treated Jimin to drinks and they talked for hours about nothingness. That was when Jimin received a full lesson on alcoholic beverages from Yoongi.
“He’s just a little insistent.” Jimin murmurs.
“In what way?”
“Ways typical of an idol….” Jimin keeps it vague, not wanting to share the gritty details of his interactions with Jeongguk. But Yoongi is quick to catch on.
“I’ll walk you out.” Yoongi gestures for Jimin to walk ahead of him and Jimin quickly realizes he’s not getting out of this one. So, he falls into step beside Yoongi.
When explaining his business relationship with Jeongguk, he skips over how Jeongguk makes him feel when he smiles or how he couldn’t get Jeongguk out of his after the gala. Jimin isn’t emotionally ready to confront such feelings on his own, much less with a close friend.
“So, what I’m getting…is that he’s a bit of an ass but not as bad you thought he was?” Yoongi concludes as they round another corner.
“Yeah,” Jimin glances towards Yoongi, hoping he sounds convincing enough. “I actually almost told him about Sungwoon.”
Yoongi’s expression shifts with surprise.
“But I stopped myself, thinking, what’s the point?”
“Then why did you get close to telling him in the first place?” Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to ask.
Jimin comes to a halt in front of the entrance as Yoongi’s question settles on his mind. “I mean…it just happened that way. I was a little tipsy, it was late and we…danced.”
“You danced?” Yoongi’s tone rises incredulously.
“It was a heat of the moment type thing. Don’t read into it.” Jimin yanks the entrance door open and steps out into the sunlight.
Yoongi follows behind him, thinking that Jimin’s words sound more like he’s convincing himself not to read into it. He watches as Jimin fumbles for his car keys and waits for him to clasp them before speaking. “You okay?”
Jimin lifts his head with a short nod, “Yeah. Fine.”
Jimin runs a hand through his hair and continues smiling. “Don’t worry, hyung. It’s not like before. I’m positive.”
Yoongi squints for a moment before deciding to back off. He knows when to give Jimin his space and Jimin’s grown emotionally since then, but he can’t help but to worry. It’s not Jimin he’s necessarily concerned about, but the men who approach him. They’re usually after one thing and it’s the rush they get after messing with a confident man like Jimin, breaking him down and savoring the torment they put him through.
“I gotta go, so I’ll catch you later!” Jimin calls as he hurries to his car. He wastes no time ducking inside and starting the engine. Jimin usually doesn’t run away from such conversations, but it’s not on his schedule for the day. He doesn’t want to think about Sungwoon right now, much less talk about him. So, he’s escaping while he can. He waves to Yoongi before driving out of the parking lot. While he’s driving, he sees Sungwoon’s villainous face in the rearview mirror.
“Fucking ghost.” Jimin grumbles as he angrily switches on the radio.
Looking around Jimin’s office proves to be a decent way to pass the time while he waits. Jeongguk stops in front of Jimin’s bookshelf boasting his awards, accomplishments, and photos with celebrities. He’s smiling in a lot of the photos, but his eyes are empty. Jeongguk notices that there’s one photo tucked away between a couple books. He peers at it for a moment, then glances over his shoulder before looking back at the hidden photo. He reaches for it and gently tugs it out of its hiding place.
There’s a date written on the back that reads: January 2017. Jeongguk flips it over and sees Jimin and Sungwoon with their arms around each other. Jimin’s smiling, but this time his eyes are shaped like a crescent moon. He’s happy. Genuinely. Jeongguk spends quite some time staring at this photo, taking in the little details such as the way Jimin looks so small in the sweater he’s wearing and how his eyes shine through the stillness of the photo. The longer he stares at the photo, the more Jeongguk’s yearning to know more about Jimin grows. Sex is no longer the only thing on his mind, and he’s terrified yet intrigued by this fact as his high-school memories resurface.
“Snooping around now, huh?” Jimin’s voice appears suddenly and Jeongguk turns around so fast, he gives himself whiplash. It’s quite funny to see; his wide eyes and gradually reddening cheeks. Jimin laughs, closing the door shut behind him and walking to his desk. He drops his coat and bag atop it before melting into his seat.
“I was bored.” Jeongguk mutters as he turns to place the photo back.
Jimin grins, “What you should say is sorry.”
“Sorry.” Jeongguk’s reply is immediate and when he turns around, Jimin notices he’s nibbling on his lip.
“Sorry, Mr. Park.” Jimin adds just to tease him because he needs to get his mind off Sungwoon and Jeongguk’s the perfect opportunity.
Jeongguk picks up on the teasing nature of Jimin’s tone and says lowly, “I apologize, Mr. Park.”
Jimin beams, “Now take a seat.”
Jeongguk does as he’s told, sitting in the chair opposite Jimin’s desk. “Did we really have to meet today?”
“Did you have plans?” Jimin asks, flipping open his laptop and eyeing Jeongguk.
“I always have plans.”
Jimin snorts and says under his breath, “Course you do.”
“What about you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost or something.”
Jimin comes to a halt, his gaze narrowing in on Jeongguk who’s leaning back with his arms crossed. Jeongguk tilts his head with an eyebrow raise, urging Jimin to speak and break the tense silence building around them.
“I’m not trying to be an ass, okay?” Jeongguk mutters. “I’m just asking because I can meet with you later.”
Not bothering to reply, Jimin starts typing away at his laptop.
“If you need some space, I can give you that.” Jeongguk insists in a softer tone.
His tone throws Jimin off and after a second of thinking, he slams his laptop shut and stares straight into Jeongguk’s eyes. “Are you like this with all your publicists? Is this why they quit?”
Jeongguk blinks confusedly.
“Stop trying to get close to me.”
“Shouldn’t I at least know something about you since you know everything about me?”
Jimin scoffs with a shake of his head, “That’s not how this works.”
“Then how does this work, Jimin?” Jeongguk challenges, leaning forward until he’s in Jimin’s space. “Hm?”
“It doesn’t.” Jimin responds. “It just doesn’t.”
Jeongguk baffles at this and his heart plummets as Jimin’s words strike up bitter memories of his high-school years.
“You think it’s so simple, don’t you? You figured if you told me how much you wanted me, I would give in.” Jimin looks away from Jeongguk as an amused grin tugs at his lips. “I hoped that you’d be different, but you’re just like him.”
Jimin’s last words sting because that’s exactly what Jeongguk didn’t want to hear, but he hasn’t been acting in such a way for Jimin to think otherwise.
“We’re not talking about this anymore. Put on your fucking big boy pants and get over it.” Jimin bites and the venom in his words pulse through Jeongguk’s veins.
Jeongguk sits silently as Jimin opens his laptop and begins typing again. He’s silent as Jimin files through his paperwork and remains silent as Jimin tucks his hair behind his ear and focuses on everything that isn’t Jeongguk. He doesn’t want to deal with this right now; Jeongguk’s sad eyes, the nauseating feeling building in his chest or how Jimin knows Jeongguk isn’t like Sungwoon. He can see it in Jeongguk’s eyes, but Sungwoon’s buried himself in Jimin’s heart and he emerges every time Jimin tries to be happy.
“Why did you hope I was different?” Jeongguk asks softly.
Because I probably—mostly likely—am attracted to you, Jimin thinks this, but instead he says, “I hoped you were a decent human being that didn’t abuse their power, that’s all.” Jimin tugs at the shoulder of his shirt, revealing more of his collarbones.
“Is that what he did?”
Jimin tugs at his shirt again.
“Yes, okay! He hurt me in ways you’d never understand,” Jimin bursts like fireworks, his words popping into the air with the hurt from those years. “Sungwoon was a monster, Jeongguk. He was a beast that waltzed around like any sane human being.”
Jeongguk immediately replies, “I’m not a beast.”
“Are you really?” Jimin glowers his way as the question barely slips past his lips. “You act like you’re entitled to everything, approached me for sex. Sex!? Simply because you wanted me.”
Jeongguk’s gaze drops as he recalls that conversation. He shouldn’t have approached Jimin that way. Honestly, he shouldn’t have approached him at all. If Jimin wanted to deepen their relationship, he would’ve. It’s his choice and Jeongguk realizes he was wrong for trying to push anything onto Jimin. More than want Jimin sexually, he should’ve expressed his desire to see Jimin genuinely happy like in the photo with Sungwoon. An apology isn’t what Jimin wants, he wants Jeongguk to stop and that’s exactly what Jeongguk’s going to do.
“Okay…” Jeongguk murmurs.
“I’ll stop everything,”
Jimin eyes him skeptically.
“Everything.” Jeongguk reiterates.
True to his word, the conversation ends there, and they begin to discuss Jeongguk’s fan meet and the numerous magazine interviews lined up for the week. There’s a few magazine companies Jeongguk isn’t too fond of, so Jimin makes a mental note to call them and let them know that his client is no longer interested.
“Everything sound good?” Jimin asks, organizing the papers on his desk so he doesn’t have to look Jeongguk in the eye.
“Great then our meeting is over.” Jimin keeps it short as he gestures to the door.
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate this time, instead he rises from his seat, thanks Jimin for his time and sees himself out. The second the door clicks shut, Jimin groans and leans back in his seat. Is this happening? Am I allowing this to happen? He drapes an arm over his face and sucks on his bottom lip. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before calling up to Seokjin’s office.
“Jiminie! My King! What can I do for you?” Seokjin answers jovially.
“Dinner.” Jimin deadpans. “I want dinner and an expensive bottle of wine.”
“I won’t ask why, but you got it.”
“Great,” Jimin drags a hand down his face. “Invite the newbie.”
“Roger. I’ll see you tonight then.”
There’s a hidden gem in Seoul Jimin likes to frequent after a stressful day at work called Kimlee’s which is a play on their surnames and the word ‘family’ since it’s owned by a family of five. Jimin appreciates the comfort in the décor and the freshness that can be tasted in each dish. He discovered such a gem thanks to Sungwoon—the only good thing that came out of their relationship.
“You got us the best seat in the house!” Seokjin declares, startling the hostess that directed him to his seat. She bows before scurrying off.
Jimin shakes his head with a grin, “Every seat here is the best.”
“I’ve never heard of this place.” Taehyung comments as he looks around. His eyes are sparkling and Jimin finds that endearing.
Jimin gestures for them to have a seat and Taehyung fumbles for the seat directly beside Jimin. He seems eager, but Jimin doesn’t comment on it. Instead he flicks open the menu and orders what he always orders: their signature kimchi stew, a plate of samgyeopsal and a bottle of soju.
“I thought you wanted wine?” Seokjin pipes.
Jimin waves a hand, “I’m getting completely wasted tonight. Soju, wine, beer—bring them all!”
Taehyung’s eyes widen adorably, but Jimin isn’t drunk enough to gush about how cute the newbie looks. Like a kid or baby, a very handsome baby, but still a baby.
“What’s gotten into you?” Seokjin asks.
“Jeongguk.” Jimin answers but immediately regrets it when Seokjin smirks devilishly. “Don’t.” Jimin warns.
“I said nothing.” Seokjin raises his hands in surrender.
After placing their orders, Taehyung is quick to pick up the conversation. The topic being the one and only, Jeon Jeongguk. It’s always Jeongguk. Seems like everyone around Jimin wants to know about him.
That’s because he’s your fucking client, Jimin’s brain supplies, ‘course they’re interested.
“I’m surprised though. You’re nearly going on a month with him and there hasn’t been a scandal.” Seokjin says. “What’d you do to the man?”
“Nothing…” Jimin mumbles as he stuffs his mouth with lettuce and pork. He chews, swallows, and asks belatedly, “A month already?”
Seokjin nods, “It’s been what—two weeks?”
Seokjin leans back and claps exaggeratedly. “I’m proud of you.”
“Teach me your ways, sunbaenim.” Taehyung hiccups.
Jimin looks his way and notices Taehyung’s cheeks are slightly flushed even though he’s barely touched the soju in front of him. Jimin releases an endeared breath, reaching over and poking Taehyung’s cheek. “You a light weight?”
Taehyung raises a hand, “A little bit…I don’t drink much.”
“I can tell.”
Seokjin leans back with a proud sigh and boasts, “Look at how well my subordinates get along.” He shakes his head with a laugh. “Ha, ha, ha. I always choose the best.”
Without a word, Jimin pours Seokjin a glass of wine, silently urging him to “shut up and drink.”
The night wears on and Jimin laughs the hardest he’s laughed in a long time. Taehyung comes to life when he’s tipsy, making jokes and suggesting they dance in the middle of the restaurant. Seokjin watches everything unfold with a broad smile and orders another bottle of wine for them. They eat enough for a large family and Seokjin struggles to pay as he holds a drunk Jimin in his arms. He has one of his drivers take Jimin home.
Jimin stumbles into his apartment and he laughs at the shadows on the walls before plummeting to his bed. He flops around for a bit before pulling his phone out of his coat pocket. It’s the alcohol that gets to his head and encourages him to send Jeongguk a single message.
Jimin kicks off his shoes and nearly falls off the bed when his phone dings.
Jimin stares at Jeongguk’s contact name and snorts. He thought he was pretty funny when he came up with that nickname: The Asshóle with an accent because Jeongguk’s not just any asshole. He’s as good as they get—a luxury item in the line of assholes.
You are, you never text me this late. You don’t even text me.
Are you home? Please tell me you took a taxi.
Seokjinie-hyung had hsiss drievr bring me hooome
Jimin bounces to a sitting position with his phone still clutched between his hands. He stares down at the screen as the tipsiness begins to wear off. He reads over Jeongguk’s last message and bites his bottom lip in thought. He begins to type a message, erases it and starts over. He does this several times before pressing send.
Thanks for respecting me…earlier
I really appreciated that
Oh, so you’re sober now??
NooOO i’m still drunk af : (
YES I’M SOBER
Jimin stares at his phone, eagerly awaiting Jeongguk’s reply when suddenly his phone lights up with Jeongguk’s contact name. Jimin hesitates, he takes a deep breath and answers.
“Hey,” Jeongguk’s voice crackles on the line and it sounds deeper than usual. “Thanks for talking some sense into me.”
Jimin tries not to fluster as Jeongguk’s voice fills his ears. Do like Jaime Foxx and blame it on the alcohol, Jimin reasons with himself.
“Y-yeah,” Jimin clears his throat.
Jeongguk laughs and Jimin’s heart gives a squeeze. “Good, good, so uhm…I guess I should hang up then.”
Jimin’s eyes bug, “That’s all you wanted to say?”
“You could’ve just texted me.” Jimin says incredulously.
“And miss out on hearing your voice when you’re tipsy? Nah.” Jeongguk answers smugly.
Jeongguk laughs again, deeper than before like he’s battling with sleep. “I’ll see you.”
“Yeah,” Jimin murmurs. “have a goodnight.”
Jeongguk hangs up first and Jimin’s left sitting with his phone pressed to his ear. He isn’t sure how to process what just happened, so he’ll save that for the morning.
Jeongguk on the other hand, lies comfortably on his bed as he places his phone down with a smile. Just last week he mistakenly restarted his progress with Jimin and tonight, he’s finally put things back where they should be.
“Take it slow.”
When Jeongguk rolls out of bed, he’s in a good mood. An extremely good mood. When he drives down to the company to meet with the stage directors for the fan meet, Eunwoo can’t help but to comment on his amiable demeanor.
“What’s gotten into you?” Eunwoo whispers as the directors discuss.
Jeongguk shrugs, “Nothing really.”
“Really?” Eunwoo leans back to get a better look at his face. “You’re scaring me.”
Jeongguk chuckles, “I’m good, don’t worry.”
Eunwoo gawks at him as if he’s looking at some strange creature. Jeongguk reassures him with a squeeze to his thigh, but Eunwoo shudders and turns away from the stranger beside him. The meeting progresses smoothly and Jeongguk’s happy with the theme of his fan meet which pertains to blue. ‘Open the Blue Doors with Jeongguk this September!’ The Blue Doors are meant to symbolize Jeongguk’s faith and trust in his fans, and the path they’ve walked with him. However, blue represents so much more.
Blue means high school, first loves and messy kisses.
Blue means falling, scraping his knees, and crying into the dirt because the guy he grew up with and loved for years just rejected him. It’s hard for Jeongguk to forget the look of disgust on his face or how he’d sneer each time their gazes met in the halls.
Blue means protecting himself from the pain by becoming someone else.
Blue means hiding.
Blue is everything Jeongguk wishes to forget yet is ingrained in every part of him.
Jeongguk manages to get through the meeting and on their way out, the directors part ways, shooting each other confused looks. Jeongguk hasn’t stopped smiling. Not once. Which is probably why they’re confused (and terrified). Jeongguk doesn’t even stop smiling when Eunwoo tells him his next schedule—a commercial shoot.
The only thing he can think about is when he’ll see Jimin again. Did he get a hangover from drinking? Is he at the office? I hope he’s happy right now.
“Can you tilt your head a bit, Jeongguk?” the photographer requests.
Jeongguk angles his head so his hair falls into his eyes.
He’s dragged from schedule to schedule but gets through it with a smile as he thinks about seeing Jimin the next day.
Interview tomorrow. I’ve attached some notes
Read them or I’ll burn your balls : )
Oooh, I kinda like the sound of that ; )
Jeongguk laughs as he ducks into the backseat of the black Escalade and Eunwoo peers at him from the rearview mirror with a knowing look.
“Are you crushing on someone?” He teases.
Jeongguk clicks his seatbelt into place. “You could say that.”
“Ooh, who’s the lucky girl?”
Jeongguk’s body stiffens and he stares at Eunwoo. Right, he doesn’t know and of course he doesn’t know…I set things up to be that way.
“It’s nothing, uhm…is that all for today?” he asks, trying his best not to show his discomfort on his face.
Eunwoo seems to buy it as he drives out of the parking lot. “Nope, you’re done nice and early.”
“Can you drop me off at Jimin’s office?”
“Why do you want to go there? Aren’t you meeting tomorrow?”
“I just…want to see him.” Jeongguk says softly.
Eunwoo’s quiet for a heartbeat before shrugging. “Can do.”
“Oh! But before that, you know the bakery across from XS?”
“Let’s stop there first.”
They stop at the bakery and Jeongguk orders enough cookies and sweets for the employees on Jimin’s floor. It’s a grand gesture, but one Jeongguk doesn’t think is enough to make up for all the times he’s treated Jimin (and other publicists) like shit.
His appearance shocks Jimin’s who’s seated in the office with the red head from gala night. What was his name again? Taesung? Taejoon? Taehyung! Jeongguk’s bad with names.
“Am I…interrupting?” Jeongguk asks.
Jimin blinks in surprise, looking to Jeongguk then to Taehyung then back to Jeongguk. “No…we were just—why’re you here?”
Jeongguk closes the door with his foot, “I brought cookies.”
“You brought…cookies?” Jimin echoes.
“Yeah…” his gaze flicks to Taehyung.
Taehyung looks between the two and he’s quite perceptive because he’s on his feet in seconds. He excuses himself with a square smile, slipping out the door while humming Yiruma’s Kiss the Rain.
“Ignore him.” Jimin mutters, pointing to the box in Jeongguk’s hand. “What kind?”
“A peace offering.”
Jimin chokes, “A what?”
“The peace offering kind.” Jeongguk steps closer. “I thought I’d let you know that I’m not the type to expose how someone behaves when they’re drunk.”
It takes Jimin a second to make sense of what he just said, but once he does, he picks up a paperweight and flings it at Jeongguk. Luckily, he’s able to dodge it and it lands on the floor.
“You’re fast.” Jeongguk whistles.
“Why’re you here? We’re not meeting till tomorrow.”
Jeongguk plops into the leather seat. “Just wanted to talk.”
Jeongguk shrugs, placing the box of cookies onto Jimin’s desk. “Anything.”
“I’m a busy man, Jeongguk.”
“I know. If you don’t want to talk, just pretend I’m not here and continue working.”
Jimin squints, “You’re freaking me out.”
“I’ve heard that a lot today.”
Jimin continues to eye him, his pretty eyes turning into slits of skepticism.
Jeongguk chuckles, “I’m trying to be your friend, hyung.”
Jimin’s eyes go so wide, Jeongguk fears they may pop out. “What the fuck?”
“No? Calling you hyung is a no?” Jeongguk asks sweetly, eyes round like a deer.
“The fuck?” Jimin jumps from his seat and begins pacing behind his desk. Not once does he look away from Jeongguk. After a moment of pacing, he snaps his fingers and points excitedly to Jeongguk. “You did something didn’t you? What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything, I swear.”
“Did someone write an article? No, that can’t be, I would’ve known.” Jimin mutters to himself.
Jeongguk watches him amusedly, eyes shining with adoration.
“You fucked something up. I know it.”
“Don’t!” Jimin practically shrieks. “Don’t fucking call me that.”
“Why?” Jeongguk asks with a grin, noticing the way Jimin’s cheeks are flushed.
“Just don’t. Oh my god.” Jimin shakes head.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk teases as he rises from his seat and he repeats it until he’s standing in front of Jimin. “Jimin-hyung.”
Jimin glares as Jeongguk inches closer into his space and he doesn’t stop glaring until Jeongguk has him pinned against the window. “Is this who you really are?”
Jeongguk smiles, “Maybe.” He resists the urge to look at Jimin’s lips because he doesn’t want to give him the wrong impression. He doesn’t even touch him, instead he stares steadily into Jimin’s eyes. He’s so fucking beautiful.
“You’re too close,” Jimin whispers.
“Sorry,” but Jeongguk doesn’t budge.
“Do anything stupid and I’ll knee you in your dick.”
Jeongguk laughs, leaning forward and burying his face in Jimin’s shoulder. “Trust me, hyung. I’m not here to do anything. I really just want to talk.”
“And trust me, I took taekwondo in high school and self-defense in college. Haven’t been able to flex my skills in a while.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to be more surprised by: Jimin’s self-defense history or his use of ‘flex.’ He sighs defeatedly, a smile threatening to break free as he basks in the vanilla scent emitting from Jimin. “You’re adorab—”
Suddenly the door opens and Taehyung steps inside, “I heard screaming, so I came ba…” he trails off as he takes in the scene before him. Jeongguk in Jimin’s arms and Jimin’s flushed cheeks.
Jimin reacts quickly, pushing Jeongguk away and rushing up to Taehyung. He yanks him inside and slams the door shut.
“What…” Taehyung begins as his gaze drifts to Jeongguk.
“You saw nothing, got it.” Jimin states sternly.
Taehyung’s gaze snaps back to Jimin’s face and the truth becomes so apparent in Jimin’s panicked eyes.
“Not a word about this.”
Taehyung nods, “I understand.”
Jimin relaxes before turning to Jeongguk. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Jeongguk stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Yeah…”
“And thanks for the cookies.”
They part ways on a rather awkward note, but they’re able to joke about it the next day. The gradual change in their relationship doesn’t go unnoticed by those around them; how they smile when they’re together and joke around. Jimin also picks up on the way Jeongguk begins apologizing with his actions. He’s careful to stay out of trouble and he goes out of his way to respect Jimin’s space. It’s a welcome surprise.
Two months into their contract and they’ve developed a friendship that teeters on the edge of being something more. They’re spending more time together with the excuse being related to Jeongguk’s fan meet preparations. When Jimin’s not cooped up in his office making calls and generating exposure, he’s meeting with Jeongguk to talk. Jeongguk hasn’t mentioned Sungwoon since that day in Jimin’s office and Jimin appreciates it.
They talk about meaningless things to get their mind off their hectic schedules and Jimin falls for Jeongguk’s lisp that appears whenever he’s excited about something. There’s things about Jeongguk, Jimin would’ve never considered possible given their first encounter, but Jeongguk’s a complete nerd. When he’s not being Idol or Asshole Jeongguk, he’s an utter softie (Jimin might’ve heard a thing or two from Dahye). He gets shy whenever Jimin’s too close or he says things that don’t make sense when Jimin teases him for the fun of it.
Unfortunately, within these two months, Jimin’s restraining order against Sungwoon has expired. Since its expiration, Jimin hasn’t allowed Sungwoon to control his happiness or his life. He won’t think about what he’s doing or if he’ll randomly appear. Jimin wants to live his life and move on. It’s what he deserves.
According to Seokjin, two months of no scandals calls for a celebration. Hence why they’ve all gathered at a popular bar a few blocks from Glitz.
Dahye raises her glass of beer for an impromptu cheer. “To success!” she clinks glasses with Namjoon who’s seated to her right and he turns to Seokjin with a sheepish grin.
Jimin looks knowingly between the two but hides his smile with his glass.
“To success!” Taehyung echoes, leaning over and knocking his can of Coke with Hoseok. Hoseok laughs brightly, hitting a hand to his knee and pointing to Taehyung’s Coke can.
“You don’t drink?” Hoseok inquires.
Taehyung shakes his head, “I’m a lightweight but a fan of red wines.”
And as smooth as silk, Hoseok suggests, “We should go drinking sometime. I know a good wine place
Jimin places his glass down, shooting Hoseok a knowing look. He’s all too familiar with flirty-Hoseok. Seems like he’s laid eyes on Taehyung and Jimin’s more than okay with that. Taehyung’s a sweetheart and Hoseok deserves someone just as sweet as himself.
“To success,” Jeongguk says softly beside Jimin, raising his glass with a tender gaze.
Jimin clinks his glass to Jeongguk’s and they share a sweet look.
Dahye’s quick to catch on, “Okay,” she slams her glass to the table and points between them. “when did you two get so buddy-buddy?”
Jimin and Jeongguk exchange a look.
Jeongguk clears his throat, “It kinda just happened that way.”
“You don’t have any…dirt on him that none of us at this table know about?” Dahye inquires.
Jimin smirks, “Publicists always have dirt.” he winks her way.
Dahye squeals, careening backwards but Namjoon is quick to catch her. “Did you hear what he said?” she giggles. “Publicists always have dirt!” she tries to imitate his tone, but her words come out slurred.
Namjoon gazes softly at her as he helps her sit up. Seokjin watches the exchange with warm eyes before clearing his throat and directing his attention to Jimin.
“My King!” He begins dramatically. “Don’t you have an announcement to make?”
Jimin blinks, processing what Seokjin just said before releasing a gasp. “That?”
Everyone at the table freezes and their gazes zero in on Jimin who laughs. He wasn’t planning on announcing it tonight or at all since this isn’t the first time he’s been on the front cover of a magazine.
“I’m going to be on Forbes.” Jimin responds. “They’re going to do a full story on me.”
Dahye is the first to cheer and her voice startles several guests in the bar. “Congratulations!”
Congratulations and praises pour out for Jimin and another round of drinks is ordered courtesy of Seokjin. As the night progresses, Jimin finds himself leaning into Jeongguk more and touching him. Each time he laughs, Jeongguk is there to catch him and Jimin doesn’t miss the tender way in which Jeongguk gazes at him or how his body burns in the places Jeongguk touched. No one else seems to notice the exchanges between them or if they do, they’re careful not to comment on it because of Taehyung’s and Seokjin’s presence.
Namjoon gestures to Jimin when he suggests that Jimin should write a book. “I’m sure it would be an instant bestseller.”
Jimin laughs, “You have high hopes for me.”
“We all do.” Taehyung joins.
It’s nice to know that he has people in his life who genuinely care about his success. It’s thanks to such a support system that he’s gotten to where he is now. Honestly, he could’ve hidden after things broke out with Sungwoon, but he took it in stride and held his head high.
“Thank you,” he looks around the table, meeting eyes with each one of them. “I mean it.”
Hoseok teases Jimin about being a softie and they all joke around. Jeongguk remains silent as he gazes at Jimin and his cheeks flush when Jimin suddenly turns to him with a smile. They don’t speak as the chatters tunes out into silence and Jeongguk briefly wonders if this is what it feels like when someone has finally allowed him into their universe.
A few rounds later, they all walk out of bar, their laughter echoing into the night.
“Do you need a ride?” Hoseok offers as the others go separate ways.
Taehyung idles around with his hands in his pockets and his head low so his hair hangs in his eyes.
“I rode with Jeongguk,” Jimin jabs a thumb in Taehyung’s direction. “besides…it looks like you have company.”
Hoseok wiggles his eyebrows. “Then I’ll see you.”
Jimin salutes and watches as Hoseok skips off with a smiling Taehyung. They’d go good together; Hoseok’s dated numerous men and women, but none of them ever lasted past two months. The longest was two and a half.
“How long do you think it’ll take until they’re official?” Jeongguk asks once Jimin falls into step beside him.
“If Hoseok really likes him and if Taehyung’s into guys, then…a week or two?”
Jeongguk hums in approval, “I’m bad at judging things like that.”
“Is that why you’re still single?”
Jeongguk glances his way, saying softly, “Nah, I freak out when things are going too well.”
“Highschool memories.” Jeongguk replies lightly.
This is unchartered territory for Jimin; Jeongguk’s never talked about his reason for not coming out publicly or the times the conversation steered in that direction, he’d change the subject. That’s his prerogative and all, but Jimin knows it’s not an easy path to take, having to be someone you’re not. It wears on a person.
“You’re not as slick as you think you are.” Jimin says suddenly as they walk in the dark to Jeongguk’s car. He decides it’d be best to change the topic given Jeongguk’s downcast expression.
Jeongguk grins and his eyes light up, “Oh really?”
“Suddenly behaving, listening to me and not giving me any hassle.” Jimin lists off. “I know what you’re doing. Apparently everyone in our friend group knows.”
“Good,” Jeongguk drops his tone to a gentle whisper. “I want you to know.”
And unexpectedly, like all things that have happened between them, Jimin asks something that catches them both by surprise.
“Do you…want to come over?”
Jeongguk freezes, his hand going still as he reaches for the car door. Jimin remains on the passenger side and not once does he tear his gaze away from Jeongguk’s shocked face. A late-night bus drives by and fills the silence between them with its loud engine.
The implications of Jimin’s words don’t fall on deaf ears and Jeongguk wonders what his intentions are. Jimin’s perplexing to say the least, but Jeongguk’s drawn to that and the hope that maybe tonight, Jimin will finally let him into his heart.
With a small smile, Jeongguk tugs open the car door and says, “Sure.” And he doesn’t think about this being a mistake or what they’ll do once they’re at Jimin’s apartment. He doesn’t want to think about it or give Jimin the wrong impression.
Jimin’s apartment reflects his put together nature. The walls are painted a creamy white along with the furniture that neatly lines the living room. However, the more Jeongguk looks around, the more he realizes the white walls almost seem as if they’re screaming to be painted a bolder color. Screaming to finally be set free.
“Would you like anything to drink? Water? Coffee?” Jimin asks coming up behind Jeongguk.
“I’m good, thanks.”
Jimin brushes past him, shrugging off his coat and draping it across the back of the couch. Jeongguk’s eyes linger on the beige couch before sliding towards the painting above the TV. It’s an abstract painting in reds and pinks, and whites—a melting flower.
“I didn’t take you as an art connoisseur.” Jeongguk comments.
Jimin laughs shortly, “I’m not. It was a gift from one of my clients.”
Jimin smiles to himself as he disappears into the kitchen. He busies himself by making coffee because he doesn’t want to think about his intentions for asking Jeongguk to come over. He hurriedly pops a pod into his Nespresso and tucks a mug beneath the spout.
“You invited me over for coffee?” Sungwoon asks smugly as he fights back a laugh.
Jimin fiddles with the mug handle unable to meet Sungwoon’s gaze.
“I know that’s a joke.”
“I…just wanted to talk.” Jimin replies as he finally looks into Sungwoon’s eyes.
Sungwoon steps closer, invading Jimin’s space and pulling him close by the waist. “Don’t lie to me.”
But he was telling the truth. Jimin didn’t want sex from Sungwoon. That was the last thing he wanted from him. He just... he wanted to be important to someone and to learn more about Sungwoon’s celebrity friends and—
“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, suddenly appearing behind Jimin.
Jimin startles, snatching up the mug and spinning to Jeongguk with a smile. “Fine.”
“You’re totally not,” Jeongguk walks up to him and gently plucks the mug from his fingers. “you were holding this so tightly, your knuckles turned white.”
Jimin’s eyes flutter when Jeongguk leans around him to place the mug back on the counter. He smells like cinnamon spice and wood. Jimin’s eyes slowly scan Jeongguk’s body and it’s hard to ignore how well-built Jeongguk is. His chest, his arms, and his neck. Jimin bites his bottom lip.
It’s rather difficult working alongside someone who is insanely attractive. To top it all off, ever since Jeongguk’s stopped being an asshole, he’s become 100 times hotter. Jimin might’ve imagined Jeongguk’s arms doing a thing or two to his body, and it doesn’t help that he’s near Jeongguk almost daily.
Jimin feels like a tea kettle seconds away from bursting.
Jeongguk pulls back and says softly, “You should get some rest. I’ll go.” But his actions are opposite to his words. His gaze lingers on Jimin’s face and his eyes shake as he tries not to look at Jimin’s lips.
When’d we get so close? Jeongguk thinks as he notices the way Jimin’s looking at him. Does he know I want this? I hope he knows that it runs so much deeper than want.
“Jeongguk,” Jimin’s voice fills the silence with its huskiness.
Jeongguk fights back a shudder as his gaze becomes more hooded. “I should reall—”
Jeongguk knows he should go. He knows neither of them are ready for the possible consequences that will come tomorrow. He knows there’s personal emotions he and Jimin should take care of before deepening their relationship, he knows yet…
…he makes a choice.
Jimin smiles as he takes Jeongguk by the hand, walking him to the living room and pushing him onto the couch. Jeongguk falls into it with a loud thump and Jimin doesn’t waste any time as he climbs onto Jeongguk’s lap.
Jeongguk doesn’t know where to look as everything around him suddenly becomes Jimin, Jimin and more Jimin.
“Take off your shirt,” Jimin commands as he does the same.
Jeongguk waits a moment, wanting to see Jimin strip. The flash of skin he sees has him hard in seconds. Jeongguk hurries out of his shirt, tossing aside the expensive Gucci Dahye fawned over earlier this evening.
Jimin smiles down at Jeongguk as he grips Jeongguk’s full chest. “You’re a wet dream.” He slides a hand across Jeongguk’s abs, savoring each flex and ridge.
“No, no you’re fucking unreal.” Jeongguk hums as he soaks in Jimin’s toned stomach and the thighs he’s drooled over on numerous occasions. “Holy shit.”
Jimin begins working at Jeongguk’s jeans, “Well, thank you.”
“No, thank you.” Jeongguk hooks a finger to Jimin’s chin, beckoning him for a kiss, but Jimin slips out of it.
Instead he kisses the mole at the center of Jeongguk’s chest. “I like when my ass is groped.” Jimin whispers.
Baffled by Jimin’s actions and statement, Jeongguk blinks. “Come again?”
Jimin smirks, “You can touch me.” He grabs Jeongguk’s hands and maneuvers them to his back. “Touch me here.”
Jeongguk hesitates, studying Jimin’s face before slowly inching his hands down Jimin’s back.
“Keep going,” Jimin murmurs as he moves to suck on Jeongguk’s earlobe.
Eventually Jeongguk’s hands follow the curve of Jimin’s ass and he squeezes. Jimin has an ass sculpted by the Gods. Such a perfect ass and Jeongguk can’t help the thoughts that fill his mind. Too bad Jimin’s slacks are in the way.
Jimin breathes harshly into Jeongguk’s ear, “Harder.”
“Fuck me.” Jeongguk says lowly, cock fully erect and pressing against Jimin’s who slowly begins to move his hips. Jeongguk uses his hands on Jimin’s ass as leverage and pushes Jimin closer.
“You’re so hard for me, sweetheart.” Jimin sighs when their erections press together. He continues grinding against Jeongguk, rolling his hips fluidly until Jeongguk’s grunting in his ear.
“I’ll cum if you keep doing that.”
Jimin laughs, “We can’t have that, now can we?”
“No, we can’t.” Jeongguk drops his hands from Jimin’s ass and watches as Jimin climbs off his lap.
“Give me a second.” Jimin says as he leaves to retrieve a condom and bottle of lube from his bedroom.
Jeongguk sits on the couch with a hand over his flushed face and his dick painfully hard. He drops a hand to his jeans and begins to mindlessly rub himself over the zipper. His eyes flutter and his chest rises and falls with heavy breaths.
“Impatient much?” Jimin teases as he walks up to Jeongguk. Having undressed in his bedroom, he now stands naked in front of Jeongguk,
“What the fuck,” Jeongguk gives his cock a hard squeeze, almost choking at the sudden sight. “Jimin, you…” He tries looking everywhere at once, starting at Jimin’s face and all the way down to his long legs.
“Take off your jeans, wrap this around your dick and watch me.” Jimin says in a single breath, tossing Jeongguk the condom.
He manages to catch it despite the arousal fogging his mind. However, he doesn’t get a second to process anything else because Jimin’s back to straddling him. This time he grips one of Jeongguk’s shoulders and uses it to steady himself as he dips two fingers into the lube.
Jeongguk’s breath catches as he watches Jimin’s hand disappear behind him. He stops breathing altogether when he hears the squelch of Jimin’s fingers slipping inside himself.
“Shit,” Jeongguk exhales.
Jimin chuckles, grimacing slightly as he spreads himself open. He glances down at Jeongguk’s dick and groans in frustration because he’s going to have work himself open to fit Jeongguk comfortably.
Jeongguk swallows thickly as he listens to Jimin’s soft whimpers.
“Status?” Jimin questions since this is something they should both know about each other. He’s also hoping they’ll have another chance to do this, so it’s best to know now.
It’s an expected question, so Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Clean. I actually…it’s been a while.”
Jimin smirks, “I can tell.” A second later he adds. “I am too.”
Jeongguk smiles, tearing open the condom and keeping his eyes on Jimin as he slides it onto his cock.
Sex with Jimin isn’t really …sex. It’s a show (a show involving Jeongguk’s dick), but a show, nonetheless. Jimin takes the reigns, telling Jeongguk how to lay and hold him. Jeongguk doesn’t mind it as the head between his legs does the thinking. He likes how Jimin feels in his arms; hot, sweaty, and so close. He wants to kiss him, but every time he makes a move to do that, Jimin turns away.
“Thrust into me.” Jimin whispers as he grips Jeongguk’s shoulders.
Jeongguk does as he’s told, delivering a sharp thrust into Jimin and then another in quick succession.
Jimin’s lips twitch against Jeongguk’s earlobe as his knees sink deeper into the couch. “Sl-slower,” Jimin huffs.
“Uh-huh,” Jimin’s voice shakes as Jeongguk stretches him. “want to feel you inside me.”
Jeongguk’s stomach flips with arousal and his grip tightens on Jimin’s hips. He really wants to flip Jimin over and fuck him into the couch, grip his hips and kiss the dip of his back, but he’s certain Jimin would put an end to this. Whatever the hell this is. So, he gives it to Jimin slow. His cock slides in and out of Jimin and Jeongguk can’t look away from the obscene sight—wants to sear it into his memory.
The couch creaks beneath their weight and their gasps fill the silence. Jimin’s vocal and Jeongguk loves it. Every time he brushes his prostate, Jimin whimpers, digging his nails into Jeongguk’s shoulders.
“Fuck,” Jeongguk grunts when his cock slides even deeper into Jimin. The slide is so slick and tight, Jeongguk shudders and prays to whatever god there is that he doesn’t cum. “Fuck, fuck, I’m gonn—hey.”
“Sssh,” Jimin shushes, sucking at the side of Jeongguk’s neck. “don’t speak.”
Jeongguk bites his bottom lip, groaning when Jimin purposefully clenches around him. I’m going to die with my dick up his ass.
Jimin pauses for a moment, sitting on Jeongguk’s lap and breathing heavily before bouncing up and down. “Yes, yes,” Jimin moans.
He’s such a fucking sight to see. Silver hair matted to his forehead; neck, and chest red and nipples erect. Jeongguk wants to bite them, mark him up all nice and pretty, but Jimin won’t grant him the luxury.
“Jeongguk,” Jimin whines. “Oh my go—Gguk.”
The lovely yet lewd way Jimin moans his name causes Jeongguk’s restraint to crumble. He snaps, slamming up into Jimin, taking him to the hilt. Their bodies meet with a resounding slap and Jimin cries as his back arches.
Jeongguk doesn’t let up, repeatedly thrusting into Jimin. His thighs tense and his cock swells, and his body is on fire, but the burn feels so good. However, the pleasure is abruptly cut short when there’s a sudden, sharp nip to his neck.
“Ouch, what the hell?”
Jimin leans back to finally peer into his eyes. “Behave.” He hisses, pushing his silver locks out of his face.
The motion causes Jeongguk’s breath to catch, “What do you want me to do?” he asks breathlessly.
“Sit there and let me ride you, it’s easy.” Jimin grins wickedly. “Can you do that for me, sweetheart?”
Jeongguk nods eagerly, wanting to be good for Jimin—good to him.
Jimin caresses Jeongguk’s damp cheek and smiles. “Good.”
Jeongguk watches this time, watches the way Jimin bites his lip to keep from moaning, the way his cock bounces with each roll of his hips.
“You feel amazing.” Jimin mumbles when Jeongguk grazes his prostate. “So good for me.”
“How good?” Jeongguk asks and he’s surprised by how shaky his voice sounds.
“So, so good.”
Their eyes meet, but only briefly before Jimin’s looking away and speeding things up. Every time their bodies meet, Jeongguk sees stars and his body buzzes. He hasn’t felt this good in so long and the pleasure is making him a bit delirious. Short, desperate grunts escape him each time Jimin sinks down on him.
Jeongguk slides his hands along Jimin’s sides, feeling along the curve of his hips and then up to Jimin’s chest. He doesn’t waste time as he brushes a thumb across Jimin’s hardened nipples.
“Pinch them,” Jimin orders as he looks at Jeongguk through glazed eyes.
Jeongguk hesitates before taking a nub between his fingers and slightly twisting. He doesn’t tear his gaze away from Jimin, etching in each flutter of his lashes and twitch of his plush lips.
“Wanna kiss you.”
Jimin shakes his head, gripping Jeongguk’s bicep. “N-no,”
Jimin looks into his eyes again and shakes his head assertively. “Just because.”
Kissing is intimate and Jimin isn’t ready for such intimacy, he just wants to get off and feel good and make Jeongguk feel good. He doesn’t want to face what’s so obviously in front of him or risk losing what this is with Jeongguk.
There’s hurt in Jeongguk’s eyes, but it flickers out and turns into something darker. He wraps an arm around Jimin’s waist and pulls Jimin close until they’re sitting chest to chest. Jimin’s cock presses against Jeongguk’s lower stomach and he breathes harshly into Jeongguk’s ear.
Words become meaningless as their bodies do the talking. It’s a desperate mess as the creaking of the couch grows louder and the passion between them intensifies. Their bodies meet with a lewd slap that arouses Jeongguk and causes goosebumps to prick along his arms. He thrusts up sharply, his cock meeting Jimin’s prostate dead-on and causing Jimin to see sparks behind his lids. There’s nowhere to run as Jeongguk holds him tight, fucking into him until Jimin can no longer think.
“Gguk,” Jimin chokes, voice shaking with each thrust into his body. “Jeongguk, I can’t.”
Jimin’s basically been edging himself since he settled onto Jeongguk’s lap. It started when he first eased Jeongguk’s cock inside of himself. Jimin hasn’t had it this good in so long. He almost came from the initial burn of Jeongguk slipping inside. Not to mention the way Jeongguk’s voice sounds when he’s turned on; low and scratchy yet so sweet.
Jeongguk buries his face in the crook of Jimin’s neck, “You can.”
“No,” Jimin shudders as he feels the first warm flick of Jeongguk’s tongue on his neck. His neck is sensitive; he likes it the most when his lovers suck on his collarbones. Sungwoon had a habit of kissing the mole on his right collarbone.
“Do you know how tight you are? How h-hard it is to…hold back?” Jeongguk kisses his words into Jimin’s neck.
Jimin’s cock twitches, leaking precome onto Jeongguk’s tensed abs.
“Hyung,” He sounds so desperate, so fucking desperate and it gets to Jimin’s head. Makes him realize how badly Jeongguk’s waited for this—waited to touch him and see him this way.
“Jimin,” he claws at Jeongguk’s bicep as heat coils low in his stomach. “call me Jimin.”
Jeongguk huffs as his hands frantically trace along Jimin’s body. He strokes and grips Jimin, searing the warmth of his body onto his hands. “Jimin,”
“Mhm, sweetheart, perfect.” Jimin whispers and his voice spills like honey into Jeongguk’s ears; sweet and thick. He meets Jeongguk’s thrust with a bounce and their bodies sing.
Jeongguk buries himself inside of Jimin as his orgasm threatens to end their shared pleasure. He’s so close. Everything feels so good.
“Fuck, hyu—Jimin. I’m close.”
Jimin smiles, wrapping a hand around his cock to jerk himself off. “Okay, okay. Together.”
Jeongguk nods frantically, pupils blown as he watches Jimin lose himself to the pleasure. Jimin’s body glistens with sweat and his head swings back when Jeongguk hits his prostate again. He begins to jerk himself off in tempo to Jeongguk’s thrusts.
“N-next time I’ll let you fuck me how you want.” Jimin whispers when he feels Jeongguk twitch inside of him. “Bet you’d like that, sweetheart, putting me in my pla—ah.”
Jeongguk shuts Jimin up the only way he knows how by replacing Jimin’s hand on his cock with his own.
“I’d love that,” Jeongguk replies, jerking Jimin off. “but more than anything I’d love to kiss you and push into you slowly.”
Jimin pictures it; tastes Jeongguk’s lips, feels his hands and his warmth.
“I want to love you like you deserve to be loved, Jimin.” Jeongguk rocks up into Jimin as he says this. “You deserve everything.”
Jimin comes hard and it takes him by surprise. He intended to reach his climax with Jeongguk, but those last words touched a part of Jimin’s heart and body he forgot existed. His hips stutters against Jeongguk’s as his cum runs down Jeongguk’s slender fingers.
“You came…” Jeongguk says in awe.
Jimin’s body tingles and he still feels so full as Jeongguk continues thrusting into him.
“Sorry, I’m almost—almost there.” Jeongguk’s words come out stilted as his orgasm builds. “Almost.”
“It’s okay,” Jimin peppers kisses along Jeongguk’s shoulder and then down to his chest. “It’s okay…”
Jeongguk’s head falls back into the sofa cushion as he mindlessly plays with the hairs on Jimin’s neck. “Fuck…your ass feels so good.”
“Keep going just like that.” Jimin softly encourages.
“O-okay,” Jeongguk grunts, “you’re so tight and h-hot—swallowing me up.”
Jimin kisses the dip of Jeongguk’s shoulder, murmuring, “Cum for me, sweetheart.”
Jeongguk drawls Jimin’s name, hips thrusting up one last time.
Jimin moans softly when he feels the condom fill with Jeongguk’s release. “There you go.”
Jeongguk continues rolling his hips to ride out his orgasm. His forehead shines with sweat and his lips remain parted as short, uncontrollable moans drift from him. Jimin slumps against Jeongguk’s chest, not bothering to move even as Jeongguk softens inside of him.
Once Jeongguk’s recovered from arguably one of the best orgasms in his life, he kisses the top of Jimin’s head, rubbing gentle circles into Jimin’s back. “I’m not Sungwoon,” he says tenderly. “I’m not like him.”
This is when the realization of what they had just done hits Jimin like a bullet, shattering his shielded heart. His mask begins to crack and those horrid memories from years ago, flood Jimin’s mind. He scrambles off Jeongguk’s lap and his legs nearly give out, but he needs to get away.
“Sorry,” Jimin begins to gather Jeongguk’s clothes from the floor. “you should go.”
Jeongguk clutches Jimin’s wrist and looks pleadingly into his eyes. “Let me stay…please.”
Jimin stares in horror at Jeongguk’s naked body and desperate eyes. That’s my cum on his stomach, those are my bite marks, those eyes are because of me. He’s holding onto me.
“Please don’t tell me that we shouldn’t be doing this.” Jeongguk looks like he could break at any moment. “Please.”
“What happens if you stay?”
“We talk.” Jeongguk drops his hand and tugs off the condom that’s becoming uncomfortable.
He came because of me, Jimin thinks as his gaze follows Jeongguk’s movements. “There’s a bin in the bathroom…” Jimin mutters. “Toss it and put some clothes on.”
“Do that first…then we’ll talk.”
Jeongguk gawks at Jimin before scrambling off the couch and to the bathroom down the hall. He backtracks to take his clothes from Jimin then he’s gone again. Jimin sighs as he walks slowly to his room. He plucks up the silk robe on his bed and slips into it, tying it tightly around his waist.
Here goes nothing.
Later, once they’ve both cleaned themselves, they sit together on the living room carpet. Questions weigh heavily in the air and Jimin doesn’t know where to start. He’s never done this before. Any of this. At least not with someone he cares about. He cares about Jeongguk which is why they’re both sitting on the carpet like punished toddlers, the tainted couch in their peripheral.
Jeongguk breaks the silence with a question, “What was that about? I mean I know, but at the same time…I don’t.”
His tone conveys no emotion, so Jimin isn’t sure how he should respond. “What?”
“What we just did…the sex.”
“Oh,” Jimin’s gaze drops. “I…”
“Tell me.” This time Jeongguk’s tone conveys kindness and patience.
Jimin gnaws on his bottom lip, “I needed to feel in control.”
“If I’m in control, I won’t risk the hurt or the pain or the fucking misery of letting someone have control over me.” Jimin answers as suppressed rage brings tears to his eyes. “And…I wanted to do that with you. I don’t regret it.”
The words spill from Jimin and he tries not to shake as Jeongguk gazes at him. He’s afraid yet hopeful as Jeongguk’s words from earlier echo in his mind. He’s not like Sungwoon. He’s not Sungwoon.
Jeongguk reaches forward to lightly touch Jimin’s thigh, “I should also apologize.”
“For what?” Jimin questions as his eyebrows furrow.
Jeongguk averts his gaze. “I should’ve declined your offer and explained myself. I should’ve given you that space and asked the more serious questions.”
Jeongguk nods, “Are you sure? Are you ready? Are you okay?” He looks back into Jimin’s eyes. “Inviting someone to your house is like inviting them into your heart.”
That’s exactly what Jimin did with Sungwoon all those years ago. He invited him inside and he destroyed everything, but Jeongguk is different. He’s so different and kind and loving.
So, this is what it feels like?
“I’m so sorry, Jimin.” Guilt drips from Jeongguk’s words and he can’t even meet Jimin’s eyes. “Sorry.”
This is the difference between wanting someone and…loving them.
Jimin places a hand over Jeongguk’s and says, “I’ll tell you.”
Jeongguk looks up.
“I’ll tell you everything that happened with Sungwoon.”
So uhm…that was a lot lol. I’m still trying to process it myself. They had sex but…something was off. I’ll get into those details in the next chapter, I want to take the time to mention Jimin’s support system. They really helped a lot after things hit the fan with Sungwoon. I also want to tell you all if you’re ever going through anything, send me a dm on twitter (I’ll open up my dms for you) and I’ll be your support system.
p.s. pretty sure I’d lose my job (or quit by choice) if I were to ever have sexual/romantic relations with a client lol lol so enjoy the creative freedom here ; ) I also deleted the slow burn tag because this isn’t as slow burn as I imagined.
-with love, won
Chapter 4: Breaking Free
Trigger warnings: recounting of a toxic relationship, stalking, emotional abuse, verbal abuse.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Listening to Jimin talk about his relationship with Sungwoon proves to be one of the most heartbreaking things Jeongguk’s ever witnessed. Each time Jimin says his name, he grimaces and sucks on his bottom lip. Jeongguk realizes Jimin’s battling with himself, battling with the anger, frustration, regret and love he had for someone who didn’t properly love him.
But there’s no sadness in his eyes. Despite everything he’s been through, Jeongguk doesn’t see sadness, but courage and the numerous emotions that have shaped Jimin into the person he is today.
Jimin shares that he was fresh out of college when he met Sungwoon. He was a rookie with dreams and aspirations and was chosen by one of the top celebrities in South Korea.
“Out of the 50 applicants that were interviewed, he chose me. I felt special. I felt like my talents and skills were finally being recognized.” Jimin explains. “Sungwoon saw my desperation; clung to it like a wolf that's bitten a passing bunny. He devoured me, Jeongguk. Almost broke me.”
Jeongguk wants to pull Jimin close and remind him that everything is okay now, but that isn’t his place or his decision to make. It’s one Jimin must make on his own.
“Our relationship started professionally, but about three months in, he started making a move. He'd treat me to dinner as a thank you, we went to musicals and talked in his car. We did things like lovers and eventually became lovers.” Jimin’s eyebrows knit, but he continues. “A few months passed, and he was no longer my only client. So, he started sending text messages hour after hour. He called my cellphone and if I didn't answer, he'd call the office. He showed up sometimes and to everyone else it was normal, but I knew. Fuck, I knew.”
Jimin thought he was going crazy because no one else could see the truth. No one could see how much of a monster he was. Who would believe the intern? Who would believe he was being harassed and emotionally abused by a top celebrity?
“I loved him. I fucking trusted him and he,” Jimin shakes his head with a shrug. “he just didn’t care about me. To him I was nothing but a disposable puppet that he could do whatever he wanted with…and I let him.”
Jimin takes a deep breath, counting to three in his head to calm himself. He needs to say this, he needs to let it all go.
One, two, three.
“When I couldn’t take it anymore, I broke up with him and pressed charges.” Jimin’s tugging at the skin on his thumb now. “Sungwoon’s fans defended him and I expected them to. They loved him…at least the version they knew of him.”
Sungwoon’s fans sent Jimin death threats, trended hate tags on Twitter and some even showed up at his workplace, proclaiming Jimin was nothing but a newbie publicist who fucked their first client to reach the top.
“That shit gets to you. When you hear it over and over, and over.” He tugs off the skin on his thumb and a dot of blood appears. “I started believing it, doubting myself, hating how stupid I was.”
Jimin smiles crookedly, already knowing what Jeongguk wants to say, “I know…I know now.”
It took time for Jimin to get to the place he is today. Time, his mother and his friends that genuinely cared about him. It hurt in the beginning, but he learned how to protect himself.
“I slipped on a mask so easily—so unconsciously and went about my day.” Jimin murmurs in awe of his past self. “People spoke, but I didn’t care. I lost my internship, but I found a way to move on. I got my shit together and focused on my success.”
Jeongguk’s eyes are shaking as he empathizes with Jimin. There’s parts of his story he’ll never understand, but there’s other parts that Jeongguk can relate to. The self-doubt and self-loathing.
“I wanted a relationship, I didn’t want…that. I didn’t want those scars, Jeongguk.” Jimin's shaking now and Jeongguk breaks the distance between them and pulls Jimin into a tight embrace.
He holds Jimin tightly until it feels like they’re breathing the same breath. “You did well,” Jeongguk says softly.
Jimin closes his eyes, allowing himself to let go. There’s more to his history with Sungwoon; darker aspects Jimin’s struggled with overcoming, but he doesn’t want to relive them.
“You did so, so well.” Jeongguk rests a hand to the back of Jimin’s head. “Thank you.”
They sit in silence, listening to the ticking clock and their slow breathing. There’s nothing else Jeongguk can say or do for Jimin other than be here for him. He’ll stay right here.
Jimin realizes that it’s been so long since he’s been held like this, so long since he’s talked to anyone about Sungwoon and so long since he’s allowed himself to. It wasn’t easy to pick himself back up and make a career out of his life that had been forcefully shattered. He worked tirelessly to remove the shadow Sungwoon cast over his life and love his career again.
“But look at me now,” Jimin leans back with a smug grin, “the baddest bitch in Korean PR who’s going to be on Forbes.”
Jeongguk laughs as he strokes the top of Jimin’s head, “The fucking baddest.” His eyes flick across Jimin’s face.
I want to kiss him; I really want to.
Jimin laughs unabashedly and his expression twinkles like the stars in the sky, and this is when Jeongguk sees it. Jimin’s first real smile. It’s the kind of smile that takes up his entire face and makes Jeongguk feel as though he’s just finished skydiving. Jimin smiles with his mouth open and his eyes closed—lovely teeth and so much joy.
“By the way,” Jimin begins, giggles breaking through his words. “why didn’t you just Naver search his name?”
Jeongguk tilts his head confusedly, “Hm?”
“Sungwoon. If you did a quick search on him, an article or two would’ve popped up.” Jimin explains.
Jeongguk smiles lovingly, “I wanted to hear it from you. I wanted your story, Jimin. No one else’s…just yours.”
“What about you?” Jimin asks tentatively. “What’s your story?”
Jeongguk’s briefly caught off guard by the question, but he recovers with a shrug, “I don’t…I don’t have one.”
Jimin peers into his eyes, “Everyone has one, but it’s okay, I understand.” he jumps to his feet. “It’s late and you need to wake up at ass o’clock, so you should go.”
“Yeah, uhm, I’ll text you in the morning.”
Jimin smiles, “Alright.”
Jeongguk thinks now would be the perfect time to kiss Jimin, but he misses the chance to do so as Jimin shoves him out. “Go, go,”
“Okay, okay.” Jeongguk says with a light laugh. “I’m going now.”
After a few more seconds of staring longingly at Jimin, Jeongguk stumbles out the front door and to his car. Once he’s settled in the driver’s seat, he excitedly punches the steering wheel. His heart’s racing a mile a minute and he can’t stop smiling. It seems like he’ll fall asleep with this smile on his face…and he does.
The next morning Jeongguk goes to the Olympic Gymnastics Arena where his fan meet will be held. He’s greeted by numerous stage and arena staff (he’ll try to remember their names but fail in the end) the moment he steps through the doors.
As if reading his mind, Eunwoo says, “Jimin made a list of their names for you.”
Jeongguk releases a sigh of relief. “Thank God.”
Eunwoo chuckles as he directs Jeongguk backstage. “He’s always ahead of the game.”
“You two seem closer,” Eunwoo comments lightly. “not to mention the fact that you haven’t acted out recently.”
Jeongguk clears his throat as images of Jimin’s naked body fly through his mind, “Yeah, we uhm reached an understanding.”
Eunwoo studies Jeongguk’s expression but doesn’t push any further. He’s picked up on the changing dynamics between Jimin and Jeongguk, and the looks they’ve given each other in the last two months. Especially, the way Jeongguk’s expression softens whenever someone mentions Jimin. It’s not his place to make any assumptions, but it’s hard to overlook. He’s certain it’s written in Jimin’s contract somewhere that romantic relationships between his clients aren’t allowed, but if Jeongguk’s happy then so be it.
Eunwoo rushes in front of Jeongguk, stopping him from entering the dressing room.
Jeongguk gazes at him confusedly, “What?”
“Dahye’s in one of her moods.”
Eunwoo nods, “She wanted to get a look at the stage and report back to the design team.”
Jeongguk gently pushes Eunwoo out of the way and opens the dressing room door. “I can handle her.”
What Eunwoo means by “moods” is that she becomes extremely vocal about her opinion on things, especially things pertaining to Jeongguk. She’s like a doting older sister who has the best in mind for him. The last time she was in one of her moods was during an award show last year. She spent the entire hour on Jeongguk’s hair and make up lamenting how he should’ve won that award and that one. Her frustrated expression and excited voice diminished some of his nerves and made up for the awards he lost. He wasn’t worried about them because there was always a next time.
“Googie, oh my god, I thought you’d never show up.” Dahye exclaims the moment he steps through the door.
“Please stop calling me Googie,” Jeongguk mutters as his cheeks color red.
“Aw, Jimin’s not around, you only get triggered when Jimin’s around.” Dahye teases, grabbing Jeongguk by the wrist and forcing him to sit in the dressing chair.
Eunwoo shoots them a confused look, “Why would you be triggered?”
Jeongguk waves a hand, “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it. Anyways, you don’t need to do my hair, I’m only here to look at the stage design.”
“I need to keep busy. My girlfriend and I have hit a rough patch.” Dahye confesses as she inspects Jeongguk’s face and hair, plucking up his signature fishboat hat. “We’re getting rid of this.”
Eunwoo’s eyes widen and he gasps, “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend?!”
“Oops.” She covers her mouth with a hand. “We recently made things official.”
“I just…I didn’t know.”
Jeongguk studies their reflections in the mirror. When he notices Eunwoo’s shocked expression, he decides to remain silent to see where things go.
“Didn’t know I’m a lesbian or didn’t know that I was seeing someone?” Dahye questions.
Eunwoo flusters, “B-both.”
“Really? Eunwoo, sweetie.” She clicks her tongue as she walks up to him. “My piercings were a dead giveaway.”
“I just…I thought it was a form of self-expression. I didn’t want to assume you were a lesbian based on that alone.” Eunwoo fumbles over his words.
“What’s so wrong with assuming someone’s a lesbian or gay or anything under the LGBTQ+ spectrum?” Dahye questions with a head tilt. “I honestly think the default assumption of someone being straight should just,” she shrugs. “disappear.”
Eunwoo stands silently, his confused expression shifting to a more thoughtful one, like he’s processing her words.
“Sorry,” she giggles. “I was joking about the piercings, it’s a thing to joke like that in the community.”
Eunwoo nods slowly, still processing all that’s been divulged.
“I hope this doesn’t change things.” Dahye says as she returns to Jeongguk’s side.
“N-no, of course not!” Eunwoo hurries to say. “You’re still Dahye.”
“Still amazing, I know. Although my girlfriend doesn’t seem to agree.” Dahye mutters the last part to herself.
Eunwoo laughs and Jeongguk shakes his head with a smile. After talking together for a couple minutes, Eunwoo excuses himself to speak with the stage staff.
Dahye works at Jeongguk’s hair, humming a trot song as she goes about her business. Jeongguk sucks on his bottom lip, contemplating if he should say what’s on his mind or not. He’s practically about to burst with what happened between him and Jimin. Knowing Dahye, she probably has a hunch or two.
Jeongguk swallows and takes a deep breath.
“What? Spit it out.” she urges.
“I had sex with Jimin.” Jeongguk blurts and the confession causes vivid memories of last night to fill his mind. Jimin’s warmth, touch, and words about Sungwoon. Jeongguk couldn’t stop thinking about that and the bitter expression Jimin wore on his face.
Dahye immediately freezes.
“It just happened.”
She remains silent, but her grip on Jeongguk’s scalp gradually tightens.
“He invited me over, but I didn’t go for sex…I just wanted to talk.”
Her grip loosens and she sighs, “Oh boy, what am I going to do with you?”
“There’s nothing you can do, we’re both adul—”
She hisses, “Let me have my parenting moment, okay?”
“You had sex, okay, okay.” She takes a deep breath, painting a picture of it in her mind to which she immediately regrets. “I’m assuming you’ve reached the point of this not being a mere hit it and quit it type thing?”
Jeongguk nods while saying straight-faced, “I’ve realized I want to continuously fuck Jimin while also being romantically involved with him.”
“I didn’t…I didn’t need more to that picture.” Dahye mumbles weakly. “I really didn’t.”
“I just…I wanted sex in the beginning because sex was simple, but then I started drawing the bigger picture.” Jeongguk explains. “And it was harder to ignore.”
The bigger picture was Jimin’s smile and Jeongguk’s yearning to be the reason behind that smile. To be the person Jimin could lean on.
“You like him.” Dahye states.
Jeongguk’s leg begins to bounce, “I do.”
“Oh shit.” She clasps a hand over her mouth to muffle a squeal. “I’m so happy for you! Oh my god.”
Jeongguk blinks, “Why are you happy?” he asks.
“You haven’t allowed yourself to like someone since high school—you haven’t allowed yourself such happiness and vulnerability in a fucking long time.” Dahye gushes as happy tears threaten to spill from her eyes.
Jeongguk leans back as he ponders this fact and it brings him back to a place, he could never forget even though he tried.
“I like you.” Jeongguk confesses to the bespectacled boy he’s known since kindergarten.
They’ve lived next door to each other for years and would walk to school every day. They’d sing songs hand in hand on their way to kindergarten and would make jokes about being each other’s soulmates because of how well they knew each other. But such touchiness changed when they started going to high school.
Freshmen year is when Jeongguk realized and in someway accepted his sexuality. It took him until sophomore year to realize he was in love with his childhood friend and it isn’t until now—senior year—that he’s finally decided to confess. He’s confessing with the hope that how he identifies will be accepted. “He’s my best friend, he’ll understand.” Is a thought that flies through his mind in this moment. “He’ll understand me.”
But reality is cruel.
“You what?” his friend snarls. “You like me?”
Jeongguk regrets it the moment he sees the look of disgust on his friend’s face. His eyes shine with pure rage behind his glasses and his lips are pulled into a tight grimace as if he’s moments away from vomiting.
“What the fuck?”
“I—I’m sorry,” Jeongguk apologizes even though he doesn’t know why he must apologize for his feelings, he does so anyways. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Jeongguk steps forward, wanting to hold his friend’s hand and assure him that he’s still the same Jeongguk he grew up with, but his friend shoves him in the chest.
“Get the hell away from me, you freak!”
Jeongguk falls back onto his elbows and winces when his elbows hit the concrete. He stares up with wide-eyes and it hurts so much, but he won’t cry. He won’t.
“I knew something was wrong with you.” his friends continues in a rage. “You’re disgusting. Don’t ever talk to me again.”
His leg continues bouncing as those memories replay themselves. The look on his parents’ face when he came out to them soon after that and the looks of his classmates when it was spread around school. Jeongguk takes a deep breath because he’s not that kid anymore. He doesn’t want to be that kid anymore. Listening to Jimin share his story and his traumas made Jeongguk want to do the same. To finally stop hiding.
“You’re right,” Jeongguk murmurs as he gazes at his reflection. “It’s been a long fucking time.”
Dahye wraps her arms around his shoulders and hugs him by the neck. “Look at yoooou.”
“It’s not that big a deal.” Jeongguk grumbles with an eye roll.
“I don’t know if I’m ready for a relationship yet or if he’s ready, but…I just like being with him.” Jeongguk explains.
Dahye leans back and smiles softly upon seeing Jeongguk’s reddened ears. “Consider him your favorite person. You like him, you like him.” she gives Jeongguk a gentle squeeze before straightening up. “There’s no need to rush to label just how much he means to you.”
Jeongguk’s been hearing that a lot lately: no need to rush and it’s starting to make sense to him when it comes to Jimin. Jimin deserves someone who’s willing to take things slow and listen to him. Jeongguk deserves the same. He abruptly climbs out of the seat and turns to Dahye with a grin.
“Tell Eunwoo I’m leaving early.”
“He’s going to kill you.” Dahye says.
Jeongguk continues grinning as he heads for the door. “I’ll be back, I just really need to see someone right now.”
Dahye stares at Jeongguk and with an understanding smile, she shoos him away.
Jeongguk tears through the hall, his heart racing a mile a minute as he passes several confused staff. There’s only one thing on his mind—only one person and Jeongguk’s on his way to see him. He’s already picturing Jimin’s confused expression and the way he’ll push his hair out of his face.
Jeongguk’s never broken a schedule like this before and he’s certain he’ll hear an earful from Eunwoo later, but none of that matters as he bursts through the entrance doors. He doesn’t know what he’s going to say once he sees Jimin, but he wants to see him and that’s the only thing that matters.
Once he’s made it to Jimin’s office, Jeongguk stands outside for a moment to gather his thoughts and calm his heart. He takes a deep breath and slowly pushes the door open. When he steps inside, he immediately notices that Jimin isn’t seated behind his desk like he usually is. He looks around and finds Jimin standing in front of his bookshelf. He’s seems focused with his head lowered and back to Jeongguk.
Startled, Jimin spins around with a hand clutched to his chest. “You scared the shit out of me.”
“Sorry…” Jeongguk’s gaze drops to Jimin’s hands where he notices the photo Jimin’s clutching. “What were you doing?”
“Oh,” Jimin’s hands drop to his sides. “I was just getting rid of some things…”
Jeongguk closes the door behind him and steps towards Jimin.
“I figured it’s time to truly let go.” Jimin finishes, crumpling the photo and tossing it into a nearby bin. “Anyways, what are you doing here? Don’t you have a schedule?”
Jeongguk’s gaze lingers on the photo for a moment before he looks into Jimin’s eyes. “I ran away.”
“You ran away?” Jimin echoes in disbelief.
“Because I wanted to see you.”
And the gentle yet honest way he says it causes Jimin’s heart to skip. “You’re not the romantic you think you are.”
Jeongguk shrugs with a crooked grin, “I try.”
Jimin shakes his head in amusement as he walks back to his desk. Jeongguk follows him and stands just inches away from him. Jimin tries not to let Jeongguk’s proximity faze him, but his thoughts immediately return to last night. Jeongguk’s hands on his body; the patience and care in his tone. The way he listened as Jimin spilled out his heart. There’s no more denying his feelings and Jimin doesn’t want to anymore.
“I’m glad you came.” Jimin confesses softly.
Jeongguk’s eyes sparkle as happiness takes up his entire face.
Jimin chews thoughtfully on his bottom lip before saying, “I actually wanted to talk some more about what happened last night.”
“Me too, I really wanted to—” But Jeongguk’s statement is interrupted by his phone ringing.
Jimin laughs, silently gesturing for Jeongguk to answer it, he does so and Eunwoo’s rage filled voice nearly shatters his eardrums.
“Yes, yes, I’ll be back in an hour.” Jeongguk answers calmly. “I’m sorry, I’ll apologize to everyone once I get back.”
Jimin watches as Jeongguk talks, fighting the urge to smile at Jeongguk’s goofy expression.
“Uh-huh, okay, thanks.” Jeongguk ends the call and tucks his phone into his back pocket. “All taken care of.”
Jimin raises a skeptical brow, “Unbelievable. You wanted to see me that badly, huh?”
“Yep,” Jeongguk steps closer. “that badly.”
A tense silence passes as they gaze into each other’s eyes. Jeongguk’s close again and he smells so nice and he looks amazing in ripped jeans and a white t-shirt. So simple yet so stunning.
“I meant to ask…is it okay if I kiss you?” Jeongguk questions softly.
“Ah,” Jimin licks his lips as he recalls how he dodged each of Jeongguk’s attempts. “it’s okay.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen, “Really?”
Jimin laughs, endeared by Jeongguk’s excitement. “Yes, it’s okay. I’m okay now.”
Aside from intimacy, Sungwoon often used kissing as a tool to shut Jimin up and force him to concede in their arguments. Jimin’s opinion was always wrong because he never got a chance to voice it. Even if he did, he knew Sungwoon would find a way to use it against him.
Jeongguk steps even closer and Jimin’s eyes flutter as Jeongguk gently cups his face with both hands. Jeongguk’s hands are warm and comforting. He leans forward slowly and Jimin tilts his head, waiting with bated breath for the first press of Jeongguk’s lips against his.
This is it.
Jimin’s feels like his heart might burst.
When their lips finally meet, Jeongguk hesitates, brushing his lips against Jimin’s to check if this much is okay. Jimin affirms with a slight nod and Jeongguk presses even harder until Jimin’s plush lips melt into his. Jeongguk kisses softly, taking it slow until Jimin tilts his head up, urging Jeongguk for more. The kiss shifts to something more fervent and Jimin clutches Jeongguk’s sides to hold himself up.
Jimin’s missed this level of intimacy and trust. He’s missed being seen and heard.
“Been wanting to do that since day one.” Jeongguk pulls back breathlessly. “Your lips are so fucking pretty—you—you’re just—” Jeongguk gives up with a groan, opting to kiss along Jimin’s jaw.
Jimin shudders, “Again. Kiss me again”
“Shit,” Jeongguk curses before pressing his lips to Jimin’s and kissing him to make up for all the times he wanted to. Jimin tastes faintly of red wine and sugar, and Jeongguk drowns in the pillow-like sweetness of his lips. Jimin's a good kisser, like holy shit he knows what he's doing. He kisses deeply with just the right amount of tongue and little nips.
Jimin stumbles back into the desk with a startled moan. He clutches the front of Jeongguk’s shirt to hold him close and briefly pulls back to catch his breath before surging forward. Their tongues play a game of cat and mouse and they laugh into the kiss before meeting in the middle. Jimin realizes that Jeongguk tastes like honey and citrus. An odd combination but it works. Bitter and sweet like the pleasure that crackles in the air as their bodies press together. Jeongguk fumbles at Jimin’s shirt; he manages to unbutton a couple buttons before Jimin pulls away.
“We can’t.” Jimin huffs as he places a hand to Jeongguk’s firm chest. “Damn, why’re you so…” he mutters, groping Jeongguk’s chest and picturing the filthy things they could be doing right now.
“Why?” Jeongguk stares back at Jimin, eyes heavy with arousal and need.
Jimin clears his throat, forcing himself to look away from Jeongguk’s chest, “Uh, we’re kinda in my office.”
Jeongguk blinks with a painfully adorable head tilt, “So?”
“So,” Jimin pushes him away and quickly buttons up his shirt. “We need to behave.”
Jeongguk rolls his eyes, “You and this behavior thing.” He gently grips Jimin’s wrist to stop him from buttoning up his shirt. “Let’s misbehave a little, gorgeous.”
Jimin’s jaw drops, “Did you just…did you call me gorgeous?”
Jeongguk grins, “I call it like I see it.”
Jimin says nothing—he doesn’t even try to pull away as Jeongguk holds his wrist—he smiles instead.
Jeongguk brings Jimin’s wrist to his lips and kisses Jimin’s pulse point. His lips are soft, but his touch burns and Jimin aches even more. Jeongguk smiles devilishly before gently pushing Jimin back into the desk and caging him between his arms.
Jimin knocks into it with a gasp and looks at Jeongguk with scandalized eyes, “You’re crazy.”
Jeongguk smirks, “Just for you.” He leans in to suck on Jimin’s earlobe, nibbling and licking until Jimin’s gripping the back of his shirt and moaning into his neck.
“Oh my god,” Jimin huffs.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk whispers. “just like that.”
Jimin’s eyes flutter to a close as he allows Jeongguk to take control.
“Shatter for me.” Jeongguk tenderly commands as he kisses down the side of Jimin’s neck and back up to suck on Jimin’s bottom lip. “I want to see it all.”
Jimin shatters as he clutches onto Jeongguk’s broad back. He allows Jeongguk to see parts of him he’s kept hidden for years. He shatters beneath his gaze and moans each time Jeongguk kisses just beneath his ear. It’s so nice being held like this. Jeongguk touches Jimin like he’s glass and he’s careful to receive affirmation from Jimin before moving elsewhere on Jimin’s body.
“Thank you.” Jeongguk whispers and Jimin’s certain he’s fallen even harder for him.
Jimin manages to reply, “Thank you.”
They kiss again and Jeongguk rolls his hips forward. Jimin’s breath catches and his eyes widen. If he didn’t have an evening dinner with several important guests, he’d invite Jeongguk over and put his dick to use. The things they could do in bed. The things Jimin would allow Jeongguk to do to him.
“You’re hard as fuck.”
“What?” Jeongguk asks, voice so deep, Jimin drowns in it. “You weren’t expecting me to be?”
Jimin swallows, tongue flicking out to wet his lips. “No, I just…”
Jeongguk’s gaze is unrelenting and he’s grinning like he knows all too well the effect he has on Jimin. “Tell me.”
“You’re enjoying this a little too much, aren’t you?” Jimin asks instead.
“Mm,” Jeongguk thrusts forward, pressing his hard-on against Jimin’s thigh. “a little.”
And the irony in his words and actions aren’t lost on Jimin. Not in the least.
“If I’m being honest, I couldn’t stop thinking about last night.” Jeongguk confesses. “About how beautiful you looked in my lap, moaning for me.”
Jimin quirks an eyebrow, “What else did you...think about?”
“Kissing you like this, pushing into you slowly and watching you unravel.” Jeongguk caresses the side of Jimin’s face. “Things like that, but now that I'm with you like this, you don’t unravel. You shatter.”
Jeongguk nods as his gaze softens, “Watching you crack bit by bit is...it drives me wild.” His cock twitches against Jimin’s thigh. “It’s a huge turn on for me when the person I like begins to trust me.”
Jimin wriggles his eyebrows playfully, “Really?”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk sucks on Jimin’s bottom lip. “really.”
“I can do a trust fall with you.” Jimin teases.
“Ooh,” Jeongguk reaches back to squeeze Jimin’s ass. “that sounds sexy.”
Jimin laughs, parting his lips so they can kiss again, and they do, and they don’t stop. Office sex sounds really fucking good right about now and Jeongguk’s aroused beyond belief with the way Jimin’s being so pliant in his arms, but their rendezvous is put to an end by a sudden knock on the office door.
“Shit,” Jimin shoves Jeongguk away, hurrying to button his shirt. “Put your dick away.”
Jeongguk snorts, “I just can’t put it away, Jimin.”
Jimin rolls his eyes as he untucks his shirt to cover his own erection, “Or here, use a clipboard to hide it. I don't know jus—” the door opens, and Taehyung walks inside.
Jimin’s eyes bug and Jeongguk snatches up a spare clipboard so fast, a few papers flutter to the ground.
“Sorry, did I interrupt?” Taehyung asks as he looks questionably between the two of them.
“Yes,” They say simultaneously. Jimin nudges Jeongguk with his elbow, but Jeongguk presses his lips together to keep from smirking.
Taehyung shoots Jeongguk a funny look, but instead of brushing it off, he speaks up. “You two are hella obvious.”
“Wh-what?” Jimin stutters, tucking his hair behind his ear.
Taehyung’s gaze immediately zeroes in on the clipboard. “Tousled hair, dilated pupils and a clipboard.” He hums, looking pointedly between the two. “Something is clearly…up.”
Jeongguk chokes, doubling over in embarrassment. He clutches the clipboard tighter, hoping Taehyung says nothing else about their questionable appearance.
Taehyung surprises them when he says, “You can trust me.” He closes the door before adding. “I picked up on your relationship that day in the office and honestly, anyone with eyes can tell something’s going on.”
Jimin swallows, “I’m sorry. This is totally unprofessional and I should be better as your sunbae.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen and he hurriedly waves his hands in front of his face. “There’s no need to apologize! Please don’t say things like that! I’m just happy for you two.”
Jimin’s mind goes blank and he’s rendered speechless. He’s happy for us…but what are we?
“I mean…I’ve been closeted for a while, but seeing you two happy together, I don’t know,” Taehyung shrugs with a loose smile. “Kinda made me want the same for myself.”
“You’re gay?” Jeongguk blurts.
Taehyung nods, “Mhm, are you? I mean, I just assumed with the way you interact with Jimin but please correct me if I’m wrong.” He shifts on his feet. “You could be bi or pan or hell—I don’t know—whatever you are it doesn’t bother me if that’s what you’re thinking.”
Jeongguk’s grip loosens on the clipboard and he thinks hard about what to say. Jimin looks to him, wondering if he should intervene. Taehyung has a kind and understanding heart, it’s not like he’ll run around blabbing to others about Jeongguk’s sexuality, but this is Jeongguk’s choice to make. So, Jimin remains quiet.
“I uhm,” Jeongguk begins and he suddenly feels parched. “I…”
“You don’t have to tell me.” Taehyung says upon noticing Jeongguk’s dimming expression.
“No…I want to.” He takes a deep breath, ridding himself of the shackles of his memories. “I’m gay.”
Now if he could just say those words to the millions of fans who have supported him after all this time. If he could finally set himself free by ending the recklessness, scandals and faking to be himself.
Taehyung claps excitedly. “Thank you for trusting me with that.”
“Yeah,” Jeongguk’s shoulders relax. “thanks for listening.”
It’s freeing to say those words because Jeongguk hasn’t said them aloud in so long. It makes his heart pump with adrenaline and his eyes twinkle. This is how it should’ve been since the beginning.
Jimin silently reaches for his hand and intertwines their fingers. Jeongguk looks down at their interlocked hands and warmth blooms in his chest. This reassurance and acceptance fills Jeongguk’s heart with the courage to truly be himself.
“I guess I should also tell you that Hoseok spent the night at my place.” Taehyung confesses.
Jimin’s jaw drops and he immediately drops Jeongguk’s hand to shove Taehyung in the arm. “What!?”
Taehyung nods, explaining that he and Hoseok stayed up late watching their favorite shows on Hulu before doing something “even more fun” which involved torn clothes and Taehyung’s turtleneck this afternoon despite it being summer.
“Holy shit,” Jimin exhales. “does this mean you’re going to end up dating each other?”
Taehyung shrugs, “I fucking hope so. Hobi’s amazing in more ways than one.”
“Hobi,” Jimin echoes. “you have nicknames already!?”
Jeongguk covers his mouth with a hand as an airy laugh escapes him. It’s amusing to see Jimin shocked like this.
“You’ve known each other for one night!” Jimin exclaims.
“Yeah, but I don’t view Hoseok as hook-up material. He’s boyfriend material.” Taehyung explains softly. “That’s why I came to your office…I wanted to talk more about him.”
“Wow, I don’t,” Jimin places a hand to his hip. “we need to schedule a date. Just you and I.”
Taehyung beams, “I’m free tonight.”
Jimin snaps his fingers, “Drinks on me then. I have a meeting but we can meet once it ends.”
Jeongguk walks up to Jimin and hugs him from behind, “I’d invite myself, but pretty sure I’m working till late tonight.”
“That’s because you just had to run away.” Jimin snaps back.
Jeongguk laughs as he kisses the side of Jimin’s neck. “On that note, I should leave.”
Jimin blushes up to his ears as Jeongguk kisses him once more before placing the clipboard back on Jimin’s desk. He flashes Taehyung an understanding nod before heading for the door. Jimin watches him go before grabbing Taehyung by the arm and forcing him to spill the details of his “fun night” with Hoseok.
Jeongguk spares them one last glance before returning to the schedule he ditched for Jimin. His week plays out busily; schedule after schedule in preparation for his fan meet in less than a month. Between packed schedules and recording in the studio, he always finds time to visit Jimin. Saturday night is when he finds himself in Jimin’s living room with his gaming console hooked up to Jimin’s TV.
When he first approached Jimin about gaming at his place, Jimin was hesitant, listing off his house rules. Jeongguk listened intently before hopping into Jimin’s car and riding with him to his place. As they were driving, Jimin couldn’t stop thinking about how easy it was for Jeongguk to slip inside and make himself comfortable in Jimin’s home. Like it was meant to be. Like that destiny shit Jeongguk couldn’t shut up about during a drunken phone call.
He’s taking up so much of my space already, but I don’t mind it. I don’t mind at all.
“You ever play overwatch?” Jeongguk asks as he makes himself comfortable on the floor beside Jimin’s feet which dangle from the couch.
“Nope, I’m good at everything except games.” Jimin answers.
Jeongguk tilts his head back to look up at Jimin, “Really?”
“Yes sir, but I’d be more than happy to watch you whip everyone else’s ass.” Jimin proclaims as he sets his laptop aside. Work can wait for just a moment.
Jeongguk beams, “That I can do.”
After nearly two hours of watching Jeongguk defeat everyone in Every. Single. Round. Jimin’s attention (and libido) is piqued upon noticing the way Jeongguk’s biceps flex when he grips the controller a certain way. The way his veins run down his thick arms and how his jaw locks every time he wins. The eye candy is nice, but Jimin really wants a taste right about now.
“Jeongguk,” he calls softly.
Jeongguk doesn’t look away from the TV, sparing Jimin only a soft hum of interest.
“Gguk,” he calls again, this time threading his fingers through Jeongguk’s curly hair.
This seems to get his attention because Jeongguk pauses the game and looks to Jimin with a raised brow. “What is it?”
Jimin reaches over to pluck the controller out of Jeongguk’s hands, “Do you…want to swap spit?”
Jeongguk snorts turning to fully face Jimin, “Is that your way of asking me to make out with you?” he places his hands to Jimin’s thighs.
“Yes, yes, it is.” Jimin replies, gazing down into Jeongguk’s shining eyes.
“Well, in that case,” Jeongguk rises slowly and gently pushes Jimin back into the couch. He climbs atop him, pinning Jimin between his arms and slotting himself between Jimin’s spread legs. “My lips are all yours.”
Jimin slings his arms over Jeongguk’s shoulders and closes his eyes as Jeongguk leans in close. Kissing Jimin is Jeongguk’s new favorite thing, along with making love to him (although they haven’t done that just yet). He can’t get enough of Jimin’s lips or how they seem to know each other so well.
Jeongguk opens his mouth, allowing Jimin’s tongue to slip inside and he tastes Jimin, and savors his sweetness. He keeps one hand beside Jimin’s head and uses the other to run beneath Jimin’s shirt. Touching Jimin is something Jeongguk never wants to stop doing. It’s like mapping out a hidden treasure in a lost city.
Jimin shudders, breaking the kiss to catch his breath. Jeongguk decides to kiss along his jaw and then along his neck because he likes the way Jimin melts when his neck is kissed. Jimin turns his head, baring himself to Jeongguk’s wandering lips. He moans sweetly when Jeongguk’s fingers brush against his nipples.
“Fuck, I’m going to get hard.” Jeongguk grumbles into Jimin’s neck.
Jimin smiles, stroking Jeongguk’s back. “S’okay, I’ll take care of you.”
“Hyung, do you know what that implies?”
“‘Course I do.”
Jeongguk leans back to peer into Jimin’s eyes, still close enough for his long hair to brush against Jimin’s face.
“Your hair tickles.” Jimin giggles.
“Jimin,” He says in a lower tone. The tone Jimin’s come to learn means business. A dicking down type of business, but business none the less.
“What if I want to take care of you this time?”
Jimin blinks up at him and his heart flutters. Shit, shit, shit. Jeongguk always finds a way to make him all mushy inside.
“I said so before, I want to hold you, make love to you, do all kinds of things to please you.” With each phrase, he kisses different parts of Jimin’s upper body; his neck, collarbones, lips and shoulder.
Jimin swallows thickly, “Y-you said you freak out when things are going too well.”
“Are you freaking out now?” Jimin asks.
Jeongguk ponders on this for a moment. He and Jimin have gotten so close and he loves being around Jimin. He’s also grown to appreciate the mutual respect between them and wonders what someone would call their relationship. They make out sometimes and fucked once, but it’s much more than that.
“No…” Jeongguk replies. “not at all and that’s…weird?”
Jimin bites back a laugh, “Why?”
Jeongguk straightens up and Jimin follows his lead, and they sit side by side.
“I would’ve run away by now, fearful of being rejected.”
“Why would I reject you? Why would anyone reject you?” Jimin asks, placing a hand to Jeongguk’s thigh. “You’re a good person, Jeongguk, a complete sweetheart.”
Jimin presses himself closer to Jeongguk, “That doesn’t define a person’s character. Being gay doesn’t make you bad or abnormal or any of that shit people told you in high school.”
Jeongguk gazes at Jimin’s hand on his thigh and he wonders if things would’ve been different if his friend accepted him all those years ago. Not his feelings…just who he was. Maybe it worked out for the best because he met Jimin.
“Honestly…I’m surprised I’ve given myself a chance to be close to someone again, but it’s because it’s you, Jimin.” Jeongguk says thoughtfully. “Since day one you challenged those who thought their views were the only right ones. I admired that and was envious of it because it’s something I’ve struggled with.”
Jimin listens as he mindlessly strokes Jeongguk’s thigh. He understands that Jeongguk needs to get this out and Jimin feels honored to be the one here to listen.
“When I came out to my parents; my mother blamed herself for sending me to an all boy’s middle school and my dad wanted to disown me.” His empty laughter fills the silence. “If only she knew it didn’t begin there, if only my dad would’ve talked to me. It’s just something I knew all along. It’s just…who I am and who I’ll always be.”
Saying it aloud causes tears to prick at Jeongguk’s eyes and his jaw drops in shock. The tears stream silently down his cheeks. He wasn’t expecting the emotions to overwhelm him like this, he hadn’t planned on crying.
“Shit, sorry.” he wipes his face with the back of his hand.
“Hey, hey,” Jimin gently cups his face and coaxes Jeongguk to look at him. “don’t apologize. Don’t.”
Jeongguk swallows the lump in his throat and continues, “I wish there were no coming out. I wish I could just…love who I love, be attracted to who I’m attracted to and just exist.”
Jimin understands what Jeongguk’s feeling and he rests his head against Jeongguk’s shoulder. “There’s power in coming out. A type of power no one’ll understand except those who have been in the same place as you.” he murmurs.
“What were your parents like?”
Jimin hums as he thinks for a moment, “My mom was worried about me, but she was accepting. I don’t know how my father would’ve reacted because he died when I was young.”
Jimin closes his eyes, “It’s okay.”
Jeongguk places his hand over Jimin’s.
“How long do you want to continue being someone you’re not?” Jimin asks softly. “I know it’s hard on you.”
“You’re just saying that because you’re my publicist.” Jeongguk jokes.
Jimin pinches his thigh, “Not funny.”
Jeongguk laughs, tilting his head to rest atop Jimin’s. “Not much longer…I’m just…thinking about how I want to go about it.”
“Like you told me that night, I’m here for you.” Jimin flips his hand palm up and intertwines their fingers. “I’ll also write a kickass press release.”
Jeongguk’s shoulders bounce with laughter. “I know you will.”
Jimin writes several kickass press releases in the weeks leading up to Jeongguk’s fan meet. He’s also been extremely busy with other, more manageable clients and writing. As Namjoon said that night, Jimin figures he should write all that he’s been through to let others know they’re not alone. He hasn’t written much, just a chapter containing tips on how he rose to the top so fast despite the rumors surrounding his life. Jimin thinks he might not finish it, but in the late hours of the night when he’s writing, Jeongguk will shoot him random, encouraging text messages.
Good evening gorgeous~
It’s waaaay past evening time
It’s night owl time
If you’re still up, coffee is on me tomorrow
Why are YOU awake though?
Late VCR filming
I thought you were done with that…
But I wanted to make a change to this one…make it more personal : )
With there being only two weeks left till Jeongguk’s fan meet, Jimin’s freaking the fuck out on Jeongguk’s behalf. However, whenever they meet to discuss it, Jeongguk seems calm and excited to be on stage. Jimin realizes that Jeongguk shines even more when he’s singing; his voice is clear, pure and so sweet. Jimin likes to sit in on a few of his rehearsals just to watch Jeongguk in his element.
It’s become harder for them to see each other outside of work meetings because of everything that’s going on, but Jimin remains careful because there’s a contract and Jeongguk’s image he must uphold. No one aside from their close group of friends know the depth of their relationship. To others they just seem like extremely close business partners…if only they knew the truth.
“Why do you always come to my office?” Jimin asks, watching as Jeongguk drops to his knees.
“It’s more private and besides,” Jeongguk unzips Jimin’s black slacks. “there’s a rush to it.”
“‘A rush’ he says.” Jimin murmurs with an eyeroll, but he doesn’t stop Jeongguk from pulling his dick out.
This wasn’t supposed to happen—isn’t supposed to be happening, but Jeongguk does things so smoothly sometimes, that Jimin doesn’t even realize it’s happening until it’s too late. Just moments ago, Jeongguk walked into his office wanting to talk about the VCR he recently finished filming. They talked for maybe five minutes before things took a more sexual turn. Now Jimin’s sitting in his desk chair with Jeongguk between his legs.
“We really, really shouldn’t be doing this.” Jimin bites back a moan when Jeongguk grips his thighs.
Jeongguk looks up at him with gleaming eyes, “We shouldn’t yet we are.”
“Did you even lock the do…aah,” Jimin’s words die in his throat as Jeongguk takes him into his mouth. Jimin grips the chair handles and tries not to think about anyone barging in on them. Instead he focuses on the hot, wetness of Jeongguk’s mouth and the ease in which he slides Jimin’s cock down his throat. “Shit.”
Jimin’s never received a blow job in his office before because it wasn’t something he thought of on the regular. His office has solely been for work, but that’s all changed since Jeongguk’s appeared in his life.
When Jeongguk flattens his tongue along the underside of Jimin’s cock, Jimin tangles his fingers in Jeongguk’s hair. He breathes deeply, eyes rolling back as Jeongguk tilts his head.
“Fuck, sweetheart…” Jimin moans, tightening his grip on Jeongguk’s hair and forcing Jeongguk forward.
Jeongguk takes Jimin with ease, fingers digging into Jimin’s thighs as he begins to bob his head.
“Oh my god, oh my god,” Jimin chants breathlessly. “keep going like that.”
Jeongguk does so, sliding Jimin in and out of his mouth, moaning around his cock.
Jimin’s chest heaves and he groans at the sensation of his cock twitching against the inside of Jeongguk’s cheek. He’s never done this before, but he already wants to do it again. Jeongguk makes him want to try new things, experience new rushes, and live life to the fullest.
Jeongguk’s hard, but he’ll take care of himself later, right now he just wants to see Jimin finish. He wants to watch him come undone and take it all.
Jeongguk pulls back with a string of saliva and precome hanging from his bottom lip. Jimin shudders, knuckles white as he grips the chair handles. Jeongguk looks lovely with swollen red lips and wet eyes.
“Cum in my mouth.” Jeongguk commands, voice scratchy.
“No, no, no, I couldn’t do that to you.”
“I want you to.” Jeongguk murmurs before taking Jimin into his mouth again. This time he’s merciless, hollowing his cheeks and looking up at Jimin with daring eyes. Cum.
Jimin’s eyes roll back and with a deep groan, he pushes Jeongguk’s head forward until Jeongguk’s nose is buried in his pubes. “Fuck—oh my god—your fucking mouth.”
Jeongguk breathes through his nose as Jimin’s cock hits the back of his throat. He maintains his pace, listening to Jimin’s labored breathing and stuttered moans. He’s close.
Jimin bites his bottom lip hard to keep from moaning too loudly as he cums down Jeongguk’s throat. Little shudders ripple through his body as his orgasm tears through him. Jeongguk takes it all, closing his eyes and swallowing like it’s the best thing since iced coffee.
Jimin watches him, eyes glazed and chest heaving, “Un-fucking-believable,” He huffs in awe, watching as Jeongguk’s adam’s apple rises before falling.
Jeongguk milks him dry, sucking the tip of his cock and pulling back with a smirk, “Sweet.”
Jimin gently kicks him with his foot. “I can’t believe you.”
Jeongguk falls back onto his palms, he looks up at Jimin with a bright smile, lips still unbelievably red. Jimin hurriedly tucks himself back into his slacks and snatches a few Kleenexes from his desk. He silently drops to the floor, kneeling between Jeongguk’s legs and reaching up to dab at his lips. Jeongguk’s smile immediately falls and his expression shifts to something more tender.
“Never again.” Jimin says softly.
Jeongguk suddenly grabs Jimin’s wrist, stopping him from dabbing at his lips. He searches Jimin’s eyes before yanking him forward and crashing their lips together. Jimin grimaces as he tastes himself on Jeongguk’s tongue, but melts into it. Jeongguk kisses him sweetly, licking his bottom lip before tugging on it.
After a moment, Jeongguk pulls back to look into Jimin’s eyes. He hasn’t asked about why they haven’t had sex since that one time, figures it’s due to their packed schedules and the desire for the timing to be right. But Jeongguk hasn’t stopped thinking about making love to Jimin. Does he think about it too?
“What?” Jimin asks, licking his plump lips.
Jeongguk follows the motion with his eyes but resists the temptation and instead jumps to his feet. He extends a hand to help Jimin up.
“Nothing…do you have water?” Jeongguk asks.
“Yeah, I’ll get it.” he slips his hand out of Jeongguk’s hold and goes to the storage closet beside his bookshelf. He rummages around for a moment before plucking out a mini bottle of Dasani. He tosses it towards Jeongguk who catches it with ease.
“You should head out,” Jimin suggests. “I’m going to get a call from Eunwoo if you don’t.”
“You think he suspects us?”
“Everyone suspects us.” Jimin deadpans.
Jeongguk snorts before twisting open the bottle and taking a sip.
Jimin walks back to his desk and settles in his chair with a heavy sigh. He still has several emails left to send before the end of the day and a few calls to make, but thanks to Jeongguk, he’s not as stressed.
A knock resounds against his office door causing them both to startle. Jeongguk nearly chokes on his water and Jimin stills in his seat. He isn’t expecting anyone…maybe it’s Taehyung. Jeongguk points to himself then to the door, Jimin nods and watches as Jeongguk goes to open it. To his surprise, standing outside is Seokjin.
Seokjin gawks back at Jeongguk, surprised to see him standing there before his eyes drift to Jimin. “I need to talk to you.”
Jeongguk flashes Seokjin a small smile as he steps out of the way. Jimin motions for him to come inside and close the door behind him.
“What is it?” Jimin asks.
Seokjin glances at Jeongguk before replying, “Sungwoon…”
Jimin’s heart immediately seizes and the room closes in around him. It’s not like he hasn’t thought about Sungwoon showing up, but it’s something he stopped himself from thinking about, so he could be happy.
Jeongguk’s expression dims and he gazes worriedly at Jimin.
Jimin leans forward to rest his hands on his desk. He clasps them together and asks in a small voice, “What about him?”
Seokjin sighs deeply, “He came to my office asking for you.”
The first emotion Jimin feels after the shock wears off is rage—pure rage. His nails dig into his skin, leaving behind imprints of anger in his flesh.
“I immediately told him I’d have security escort him out if he tried anything, but he didn’t want anything.” Seokjin explains. “He just…asked about how you’re doing and things like that—if you’re seeing anyone.” his gaze slides over to Jeongguk when he says the last part.
Jimin closes his eyes to calm himself and not lose himself to the past he escaped from. Not again. Not ever again. He opens his eyes and flashes Seokjin a calm smile, “I’ll handle it.”
“Jimin, if you need me for anything or need me to put security around your office, I can.” Seokjin suggests.
Jimin shakes his head, “That won’t be necessary.”
Jeongguk quietly walks around the desk to stand behind Jimin. He places his water bottle atop the desk and then places a hand to Jimin’s shoulder.
“I’ll take care of it.” Jimin assures.
Seokjin looks between them and there’s a question in his eyes, but he says nothing. “Alright, just know I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks as always, hyung.”
Seokjin nods, giving them one last look before leaving. The second the door clicks shut, Jimin reaches back to touch Jeongguk’s hand on his shoulder. Jeongguk immediately realizes Jimin’s hand is trembling.
“Jimin,” he leans in close, eyes and voice filled with worry.
“I’m fine,” Jimin murmurs. “I’m fine.” He tightens his grip on Jeongguk’s hand.
The audacity Sungwoon has to reappear in his life after all this time, asking if Jimin’s seeing anyone. The fucking nerve. It’s not his place, he doesn’t own Jimin and he no longer has control over his life. Jimin’s shaking with rage and determination to finally put an end to the ghost of his relationship with Sungwoon.
“You should go Jeongguk.” Jimin says.
Jeongguk’s eyes widen, “No way.”
“I said I’m fine,” Jimin looks back at Jeongguk. “Trust me. I just need a moment alone.”
There’s so much Jeongguk wants to say and do for Jimin. Part of him wants to confront Sungwoon and tell him to stay the fuck away, but Jimin wouldn’t appreciate that. This is obviously something Jimin wants to take care of on his own and it’s not Jeongguk’s place to interfere. With a deep sigh, he leans down and kisses the mid of Jimin’s forehead.
“Okay,” Jeongguk whispers. “text me when you get home, please?”
Jimin nods, “I will. Thank you.”
Jeongguk kisses Jimin’s forehead one last time before leaving his office. Jimin sits in silence with his face buried in his hands. He can do this. He needs to do this.
Lune is Sungwoon’s favorite restaurant. He treated Jimin to dinner here numerous times; always bought the most expensive bottle of wine while wooing Jimin with his many successes. They’d eat and then fuck at some luxurious room at a Shilla hotel. Sungwoon never brought Jimin to his apartment studio. Jimin never questioned it, but now he understands why. Not once was he allowed to snoop around Sungwoon’s heart.
Jimin sits in a booth at the back of the restaurant, nursing a glass of red wine as he waits for Sungwoon to appear. He needs to be a little tipsy because of what he’s about to do. Jimin checks his watch and sighs. It’s 8:15pm, fifteen minutes past their scheduled meeting time. When they first started dating, Sungwoon valued Jimin’s time, but after a while he started showing up later and later.
The bell above the entrance door jingles and Jimin looks up and sees him. He looks as handsome and charming as ever, but his eyes seem tired and he doesn’t walk with the same confidence. His brown hair is tousled and his shoulders slouch forward. Jimin studies the way he interacts with a waitress, fascinated by his hesitant mannerisms. Jimin tilts his head because this Sungwoon is different from the Sungwoon he knew all those years ago.
Sungwoon from nearly three years ago was an attention seeker. He was loud, confident in his steps and playful. He made it easy for people to like him and fall for him. Jimin briefly wonders where such confidence went, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to freely live again and maybe…start something real with Jeongguk.
When their eyes meet, Sungwoon’s expression lights up and he bustles towards Jimin, stumbling a bit on his way. Jimin places his glass down and looks up at the monster that nearly ruined his life.
“Jimin,” Sungwoon gasps.
Sungwoon clambers into the seat across from Jimin, he seems eager to speak, but Jimin beats him to it.
“Five minutes and that’s it.”
Sungwoon’s smile falters, “Jimin…”
And he says it in that tone Jimin hates. It gets under his skin and crawls. It’s the tone that’s a mix of condescension and mocking desperation.
“Don’t Jimin me you piece of shit.” Jimin says, expression unchanging.
This time, Sungwoon’s smile completely vanishes and he gets that look Jimin’s familiar with, knows like the back of his hand. It’s the look that causes his eyebrows to furrow and the corner of his lips to quirk up into a sneer. This is the Sungwoon, Jimin knows.
“Piece of shit?” Sungwoon echoes. “And here I was happy to see you.”
Jimin doesn’t bother to roll his eyes, won’t give Sungwoon the satisfaction of seeing his emotions. “Show up at my workplace again and I’m taking you to court.”
“I missed you, you know.”
Jimin studies his face, recalling those vile lips that once touched his. Those strong hands that once held him down and those eyes that looked at him with such obsession. Everything about him fills Jimin with revulsion.
“Get out of my life, Sungwoon.”
“You’re still so beautiful. Bet you’ve found someone else to fuck you, probably not as good as me though.” Sungwoon murmurs, lips splintering into a sinister smirk.
Jimin’s fists clench but he takes a deep breath to calm himself. He looks into Sungwoon’s dark eyes and says in a calm voice, “I’m sorry,”
Sungwoon’s smirk falls as he tries to process Jimin’s apology.
“I’m sorry I didn’t fail, sorry that I’m successful and not the fucking mess you thought I’d be.” Jimin curls a hand around his glass. “Must be shocking, huh? All that work you put in to break someone only for you to end up as the broken one.” He raises the glass to his lips and takes a leisurely sip. The wine tastes sweeter tonight.
Sungwoon’s gaze follows Jimin’s movements and he remains silent.
Jimin places the glass down, “I really hope you get help, Sungwoon.”
Sungwoon opens his mouth to speak, but Jimin waves the waitress over to ask for the check. He rises to his feet and says while looking Sungwoon in the eye, “Five minutes are up.” He slips on his coat and walks away; he walks away without looking back. The moment he steps into the cool, autumn air, he brings a hand to his mouth and retches. He places a hand to the wall to hold himself up and tears sting at his eyes.
Jimin continues retching but nothing comes up. After a moment, he releases a shaky breath and straightens up.
I did it.
He breathes slowly in and out, counting to three.
I fucking did it.
He flips his hair out of his face and adjusts his coat. A can of beer and a murder mystery on Netflix sounds really good right about now. Maybe he’ll shoot Hoseok a text and they’ll watch something together. Jimin wants to bask in the freedom he now feels after facing Sungwoon after all this time. He wants to kick back, stretch his legs and live. It doesn’t matter anymore if Sungwoon decides to show up again, Jimin has dealt with him—has officially let go and that’s what truly matters.
While walking to his car, Jimin smiles and makes a mental note to change the first line of his book to ‘I did it’ because he did that and so much more. On the drive home, he calls Hoseok and asks him to meet at his place.
“What for?” Hoseok asks.
“I’ve got some news for you.”
“Ooh,” Hoseok teases. “sounds spicy.”
When Jimin arrives home, Hoseok’s already waiting outside with a pack of Heineken beer and fried chicken.
Jimin places a hand to his heart and says touched, “I knew you’d come through.”
“‘Course I’d be here,” Hoseok leans forward to press a kiss to Jimin’s forehead. “haven’t seen you in forever.”
Jimin inputs the code to his apartment and hurries to hold the door open for Hoseok. “It’s been crazy because of Jeongguk’s fan meet.”
“I can only imagine.” Hoseok slips inside and makes himself comfortable on Jimin’s couch.
“What about you?” Jimin calls as he closes the door behind him. “How’s business and Taehyung?”
Hoseok snorts and glances over his shoulder as Jimin approaches. “Business is well, we were able to book a rather popular insta model.”
“As for Taehyung, we’ve been going strong these last weeks.”
Jimin plops on the floor beside Hoseok, plucking up a can of beer and snapping it open. He stares wide eyed at Hoseok as he continues to explain how close he and Taehyung have become. He talks on and on about their dates and how sweet Taehyung is.
“I think he might be the one to break the two-month curse.” Hoseok hums.
Jimin raises his can in a cheer, “You seem happy when you talk about him.”
“I feel happy when I’m with him.” Hoseok replies breezily, smiling as he picks up a piece of chicken. “What about you? What’s the news?”
“Oh, right,” Jimin places his can down. “I saw Sungwoon today.”
Hoseok chokes, eyes going wide as he hacks into his arm.
Jimin calmly reaches over and pats him on the back, “I saw him for closure.”
“Holy fuck,” Hoseok coughs. “you could’ve warned me before dropping a bomb like that.”
Once Hoseok recovers from the shock, he pulls Jimin close and Jimin recounts his conversation with Sungwoon. Hoseok listens, humming occasionally and nodding. It reminds him of the time after Jimin pressed charges against Sungwoon; the raw emotions in Jimin’s voice and the chaos that ensued.
“I feel like…I can finally just…” Jimin shrugs. “Breathe.”
Hoseok strokes the top of Jimin’s head.
“I needed that—needed to do that.”
“I’m so proud you told that fuck face off.” Hoseok replies with a satisfied sigh.
Jimin laughs loudly, leaning back to look into Hoseok’s eyes.
“I always wanted to punch him in the face. He had a vile attitude and a face that was just begging to be punched.” Hoseok laments before adding a moment later, “Sorry.”
Jimin’s laughter rocks the apartment walls and Hoseok’s eyes shine as he takes in his friend’s smiling face. This is all he’s ever wanted for Jimin—this level of happiness.
“Don’t apologize,” Jimin replies. “there were times when I should’ve punched him to protect myself.” His laughter tapers off and they drift into silence.
Hoseok reaches for Jimin’s hand and squeezes. After a while, Hoseok switches on the TV to play Jimin’s favorite show on Netflix and they watch it, not thinking about what tomorrow may hold and just living in the moment.
“Next time we fuck, I don't want to fuck, I want to make love.” – Own it, Drake ; )
I didn’t want to give Jeongguk’s friend a name, because he isn’t worth it : )) Other than that, I want to talk briefly about how important it is to listen in relationships. It’s something I’ve been working on in my family and close friendships.
Anyways, CAN YOU BELIEVE THERE’S ONLY ONE CHAPTER LEFT?!?! I honestly can’t because I’ve become so attached to writing these characters and seeing them grow. I’m going to miss it : (
p.s. idk if you could tell, but everyone’s gay and happy lol EVERYONE.
-with love, won
Chapter 5: In the Right Place
I tried my best to depict how planning for a fan meet might go, but I also took some creative liberties here. Also, yay to sexual tension!!! Thank you all so much for reading, commenting and leaving a kudo. I just…I don’t know what to say now that it’s end. This story is rather personal and I’m just so grateful to the people that have read and supported it.
This chapter is a MONSTER, so buckle up. Get some snacks, something to drink and enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
XS Ent is abuzz with preparations for Jeongguk’s fan meet. The lobby is full of staff hustling back and forth with different pieces of clothing and props, and yelling can be heard down the halls. It’s chaos and at the center of it is Jeongguk. Eunwoo has a strong grip on his arm, maneuvering him through the crowd and to the elevator.
“It’s not even D-day and things are crazy.” Eunwoo grumbles as they stumble into the elevator. He’s quick to press the button for the 5th floor and relaxes the moment the doors close.
“Uhm, can you let go of my arm?” Jeongguk asks.
“Oh,” Eunwoo drops his arm. “sorry.”
“It’s cool.” Jeongguk stares ahead, slightly dazed as he thinks back to yesterday. He can’t get Jimin’s expression out of his mind; the look of rage and bitterness that twisted his usually calm features. Jeongguk hasn’t heard from him since last night. He sent a single text asking about how it went.
Maybe he needs space? Perhaps things went well? Maybe not…
The elevator dings and Eunwoo steps out, looking curiously to Jeongguk who stays inside. With a sigh, he grabs Jeongguk’s arm and yanks him out into the hall.
“You okay?” Eunwoo asks, eyes flicking across Jeongguk’s blank expression.
“Huh? Oh, yeah…” Jeongguk brushes out of his hold, walking towards the meeting room.
He’ll most likely see Jimin today, but he’s contemplating what he should say once he shows up. Should he say anything? Is it his place to say anything? Numerous questions fly through his mind as he tugs open the meeting room door. Dahye, Lia and a few others are seated around a table and Jeongguk greets them with a slight bow.
“We thought you’d never show up!” Dahye exclaims.
Jeongguk flashes a small smile as he settles beside her.
She’s quick to pick up on his dismal demeanor and asks in a whisper, “What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you later.”
She squints at him skeptically before slowly leaning back and deciding to drop it for now. Jeongguk crosses his arms against his chest and his head jerks up each time the door opens, hoping for it to be Jimin. However, a new staff member appears and Jeongguk internally groans. The meeting is scheduled to start in ten minutes, so he should be here any moment now. Jeongguk slips out his phone to see if just maybe Jimin sent him a text message, but to no surprise, there isn’t one.
When the office door opens for what feels like the hundredth time, Jeongguk looks up and his heart gives a jump upon seeing Jimin’s face. His silver locks are swept to one side and he’s casually dressed in black ripped jeans and a yellow sweater. He looks amazing, he always looks amazing. Their eyes meet and Jimin flashes Jeongguk a brief smile before turning to greet everyone else in the room.
Jeongguk watches him as he drifts about the room—can’t look away—wonders if he slept well last night. If he was able to get everything off his chest. Once Jimin’s finished making his rounds, he settles beside Jeongguk and reaches beneath the table to squeeze his thigh.
“You’re an open book.” he whispers without looking Jeongguk in the eye.
“I shouldn’t be?”
Jimin gives his thigh another hard squeeze, hissing. “At least not here.”
“I was worried.” Jeongguk replies, slipping his hand beneath the table to caress Jimin’s. “You never replied.”
Jimin finally snaps around to stare at him, eyebrows drawing together as he thinks back to last night. “Shit, you’re right.”
“Jimin, your phone.” Hoseok grumbles, eyelids heavy with sleep.
Jimin groans, “I’ll check it in a moment.” But as the show drags on and the alcohol kicks in, Jimin never checks his phone.
“I thought something happened.” Jeongguk murmurs as his doe eyes grow even bigger.
Jimin’s heart flutters and he sucks on his bottom lip before answering. “I drank a lot with Hoseok,” he gives Jeongguk’s thigh another squeeze, but this time it’s more reassuring than threatening. “I’m sorry for not responding.”
Jeongguk opens his mouth to say that Jimin doesn’t need to apologize but is cut off by someone clapping to start the meeting. Jimin gives Jeongguk an apologetic look before turning away.
The meeting kicks off with the conversation centered around Jeongguk’s personal VCR. He’ll perform several songs, play a few games with the fans before opening to a Q&A section. At some point the meeting turns to the discussion of Jeongguk’s wardrobe and rehearsal dates, but Jeongguk’s tuned out by now because he’s gone over this already.
He focuses his attention on Jimin and rests his chin in the palm of his hand, gazing at the back of Jimin’s head. Everything about Jimin seems so precious and beautiful. Jimin is precious and it’s during random moments like these that Jeongguk realizes just how in love he is with Jimin. Even the back of his head looks like a work of art.
As if sensing Jeongguk’s eyes on him, Jimin glances over his shoulder. He raises his eyebrows, silently asking, “What?”
Jeongguk’s response is a wink and Jimin’s jaw drops, but he’s quick to snap it back in place to avoid drawing any unnecessary attention. However, Dahye looks knowingly between the two of them, but she only grins to herself. Once the meeting ends and everyone’s exited the room, Dahye turns to them.
“You two are so obvious.”
“Shame.” Jeongguk replies sarcastically. “I’d hate for everyone to know that I’m hitting on my publicist.”
Jimin kicks Jeongguk’s shin beneath the table and smiles at Dahye while asking, “Obvious? How so?”
“You’ve got couple energy floating all around you,” she explains. “there’s so much shalala and flowers in the air.”
Jeongguk, who’s nursing his probably bruised shin, replies, “So what if they know?” and the second the question leaves his mouth, he realizes how stupid it sounds.
“You’re not exactly…out.” Jimin deadpans. “And we’re not exactly…dating.”
“Yet…” Jeongguk says under his breath.
“Not to mention Jimin’s job could be on the line.” Dahye informs.
This seems to pique Jeongguk’s interest because he turns to face Dahye, eyes wide with curiosity. “How?”
She shrugs, “I just assumed dating your client was a no-no.”
“You’re not exactly wrong,” Jimin sighs. “It happens a lot though, but those relationships are often kept hush-hush.”
Jimin’s often been the one to keep such relationships from the prying hands of the media. Sometimes he had clients who were often in sexual relationships with their publicists. As someone who’s gone through such before, he has no plans of going through it again. At least not publicly.
“We deal with a lot of shit.” Jimin finalizes as he heads for the door.
Jeongguk is quick to jump to his feet, gesturing to Dahye that he’ll call her later. She shoos him off with a knowing smile. Jeongguk trails closely behind Jimin, his hand lingering against Jimin’s backside, wanting to pull him close.
“Want to get coffee?” Jeongguk suggests with a bright smile.
Jimin glances his way, “Can’t. You do realize we probably won’t be seeing each other outside of work because of your fan meet?”
“Which is why I’m asking you out for coffee.” Jeongguk replies, following Jimin to the elevator.
“I’ll have to decline.” Jimin states, pressing the elevator button. When the doors open with a ding, he steps inside and presses for the first floor, but Jeongguk is quick to press several other buttons and the one to close the doors.
Jimin stares at him in awe, eyes wide as Jeongguk backs him up against the wall. He places his hands on each side of Jimin’s head, caging him between his arms. The doors shut and Jimin’s left alone with an apparently needy Jeongguk.
“Gguk,” Jimin says in a warning tone.
Jeongguk tilts his head, “Yes, baby?”
The pet name throws Jimin off, causes his cheeks to flush, heart to clench and his breathing to stutter. It’s been so long since anyone has dressed him with any form of endearment. Baby sounds so nice rolling off Jeongguk’s tongue.
“Or should I stick with calling you gorgeous?” Jeongguk asks as he leans in, eyes focused on Jimin’s lips. “Hm?”
Jeongguk adores Jimin’s confidence and somewhat intimidating nature, but occasionally making him flustered like this is one of Jeongguk’s guilty pleasures. He’s adorable when he’s caught off guard.
“Maybe…my gorgeous baby?” Jeongguk taunts.
Jimin bites his bottom lip, aware of the elevator dinging as it goes from floor to floor. “We could get caught.”
“I’ll just say you had something in your hair and I…” he slowly kisses Jimin before pulling back to murmur. “Was simply helping you out.”
“You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you?” Jimin’s voice has dropped to match Jeongguk’s flirtatious tone.
“‘Course.” Jeongguk smiles before leaning in to kiss Jimin again. He slides a hand around Jimin’s waist, pushing him flush against his body. Jeongguk kisses him until the doors ding open and he groans in frustration. “Damn it.” He lingers for a moment, gaze hooded and breathing softly against Jimin’s lips.
“Move,” Jimin says with his cheeks adorably flushed.
Jeongguk wants to kiss him again, but steps aside and out of the elevator.
Jimin walks briskly past him, calling over his shoulder, “You’ve got an hour.”
Jeongguk’s eyes light up and he immediately fishes around in his jean pockets for his keys before chasing after Jimin. He falls into step beside him and they walk out of the front doors and into the beaming sun. Jeongguk is quick to unlock his car and hold the door open for an amused Jimin.
“Charming.” Jimin deadpans.
“Not to anyone,” Jeongguk hums. “just you, gorgeous.”
Jimin ducks into the Mercedes, heart racing and cheeks straining with a smile. Jimin could get used to this and a part of him already has. Somedays he’ll wait for Jeongguk to text him random photos or messages. Other days, he’ll imagine what it’ll be like to be held by Jeongguk. To be in a position where he’s no longer in control, where he allows his partner to take care of him.
Jimin wants that.
He gazes at Jeongguk as he starts the engine, eyes trailing down Jeongguk’s side profile and zeroing in on his hand on the steering wheel.
He really wants that.
Jeongguk suddenly turns to him, smiling bright enough to compete with the sun. “Where to?”
“Anywhere as long as it’s near here.”
Jeongguk salutes before backing out of the parking lot. He’ll probably get a message from Eunwoo asking about his whereabouts, but Jeongguk won’t worry about that right now. He just wants to enjoy this moment with Jimin—ask about last night, make him laugh—the things you do when you’re in love with someone.
Jeongguk decides to take Jimin to a café nearby that allows him some secrecy despite his celebrity status. It’s a ten-minute drive from the company building and they spend most of the drive in a comfortable silence. When Jeongguk makes a left turn, he places a hand to Jimin’s thigh and rests it there. Jimin turns from the window to glance at Jeongguk.
Without turning, Jeongguk mutters, “I uhm…I’m not really good at the whole asking about your ex thing.”
Jimin grins, “You did pretty well the night we had sex.”
Jeongguk’s cheeks flush.
“What is it you want to ask?” Jimin keeps his eyes on Jeongguk, studying the slight hesitance on Jeongguk’s face.
“Is…are you okay now?” Jeongguk questions and he’s finally able to look at Jimin when he rolls to a stop at a stoplight. When their eyes meet, Jeongguk’s heart skips and he confesses in a soft tone. “I always want to kiss you when I look at you.”
Jimin stares back at him and abruptly leans over to peck Jeongguk on the lips. Jimin pulls back slowly and smiles, “I’m okay now.”
Stunned, Jeongguk dazedly gapes at Jimin.
“Light’s green.” Jimin hums.
“R-right,” Jeongguk’s grip tightens on the steering wheel and he swallows thickly.
Jimin continues to say, “I felt a bit uneasy seeing him after all that time, but I had to do it.”
Jeongguk understands without Jimin needing to elaborate. He gets it.
“I hope you can do the same one day.” Jimin murmurs, placing his hand over Jeongguk’s.
When they arrive at the café, Jimin decides to make it a car-date, explaining that he likes sitting in intimate settings with Jeongguk. Jeongguk tries not to let the comment get to his head or his heart, but it proves rather difficult because he’s already fallen hard for Jimin.
Their car-date ends up being intimate—lots of thigh touching, lingering stares and abrupt kisses—Jeongguk really likes this. They talk about meaningless things and Jeongguk discovers that Jimin has an adorable habit of falling over when he laughs. This is when Jeongguk develops a habit of kissing Jimin while he’s laughing.
“What was that for?” Jimin asks, lips slightly parted as he gawks at Jeongguk.
“You’re really beautiful when you laugh.” Jeongguk blurts. “I mean you’re always beautiful, it’s just when you laugh it’s like your beauty just bursts out or something.”
Jimin snorts, covering his mouth with a hand.
“Don’t laugh.” Jeongguk warns. “That’s just how you make me feel.”
Jimin immediately stops laughing and pins Jeongguk with his best “I’m taking you seriously” expression, but Jeongguk doesn’t buy it. So, he reaches over and places a finger to Jimin’s lips, the sudden action causes the atmosphere to shift. Jimin reacts daringly by keeping his eyes on Jeongguk and slowly opening his mouth, so that Jeongguk’s finger falls against his tongue. Jeongguk releases the slightest breath as his eyes fixate on Jimin’s plush lips. His heart feels like it’s being twisted and wrung to dry. He can’t breathe—can’t process what the hell is going on.
Ever so slowly, Jimin closes his mouth around Jeongguk’s finger and moans purposefully. Jeongguk’s eyes flutter and he sits completely still in his seat, unsure of what to do and somewhat afraid of what he’ll do if things continue this way. Thankfully, Jeongguk’s phone goes off and he pulls his finger back to answer it.
Jimin flips his hair with a smirk. Jeongguk wants to say something but decides not to and answers his phone.
Jimin snickers at Jeongguk’s trembling voice.
“You sound winded, you okay?” Eunwoo answers.
Jeongguk clears his throat, “Yeah, uhm, what’s up?”
“You kinda, sorta disappeared on me.” Eunwoo replies.
Jeongguk goes on to explain that he and Jimin left for a private meeting, not lying but not disclosing the entire truth. Eunwoo decides not to question it further and asks for Jeongguk to “hurry his ass on back.” With a laugh, Jeongguk pulls out of the café parking lot and returns to the company building. He hates to part ways with Jimin because he knows he won’t have a chance to see him tomorrow. Between photoshoots and late-night dance practices, Jeongguk’s booked for the rest of the week.
Today he stands on the arena stage where he’ll be performing. He watches as staff and arena crew walk about and an excited thrum builds in his chest. Soon he’ll be performing. Soon he’ll be proclaiming his identity to thousands of his fans. It’s exciting yet nerve-wracking as he thinks about how he’ll be viewed once it’s done.
Jeongguk’s had several conversations after yesterday’s meeting regarding his VCR and the speech he’ll make soon after it plays. His company has been rather encouraging towards his decision, although they don’t know the full details of the “confession” he’ll be making to his fans. It’ll come as a shock to many.
“This is fucking amazing!”
Jeongguk spins around upon hearing the familiar voice and his gaze falls on a beaming Namjoon. He’s wearing a baseball cap, green t-shirt and loose-fitting khakis which means today is one of his off days.
“Hyung,” they greet each other with a hug and sure enough, Namjoon smells like fresh flowers. “guess you’re off?”
“You guessed right!” Namjoon singsongs.
“Why’re you here then?” Jeongguk asks, sliding an arm around Namjoon’s waist and walking with him to exit the stage.
“I hadn’t seen you in a while and I missed you.”
Jeongguk’s nose scrunches, “Missed me? I know that’s a lie.”
“Not entirely a lie, but not the whole truth.” Namjoon replies with a smile.
They slip off stage and head to Jeongguk’s dressing room down the hall. Jeongguk closes the door behind them before collapsing in one of the leather seats. Namjoon plops in the one across from him and waits a moment for Jeongguk to get settled before asking, “So this is it, huh?”
“Ah,” his head falls back against the seat and he stares up at the ceiling. “Yep,”
“I’m nervous for you, so I can only imagine how you feel.”
Even though Namjoon’s been busy with his own life, he’s managed to stay up to date with Jeongguk’s fan meet and the talked about VCR that will play.
“Honestly…I don’t know how I feel right now,” Jeongguk answers. “Part of me is ready to get it over with and there’s the other part that wants to toss it aside and completely hide.”
“It’s okay to feel like that—it’s okay to change your mind, but I know you.” Namjoon recalls ‘baby-Jeongguk’ and the determination in his eyes. “Once you set out to do something, you do it, no matter the outcome.”
Jeongguk drops his head and his heart warms over upon seeing the tender expression on Namjoon’s face. Namjoon always has a way of making him feel better about himself and his decisions. “Will you be there? On the first day?”
“Of course!” Namjoon claps a hand to his thigh. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
The conversation steers to Namjoon’s progress with Seokjin because Jeongguk hasn’t had a chance to ask about such. Namjoon fills him in that they’re “progressing slowly” because Seokjin’s very careful about relationships.
“I’m a patient man.” Namjoon proclaims. “I could wait a century for someone like Seokjin-hyung.”
Jeongguk snorts, but he agrees with Namjoon’s proclamation because he’s also found someone worth waiting for. Someone who’s also willing to wait. Jeongguk’s heart skips at the mere thought of Jimin and his leg bounces, not with anxiety, but giddiness.
“Sounds like love.” Jeongguk replies.
“Does it? Then that’s probably, most likely what it is.” Namjoon hums, breaking into a dimpled smile.
Jimin stands in his office with the latest edition of Forbes magazine in his hands. With a proud sigh, he raises the magazine in the air and beams because he’s on the front cover. He wore an all-white suit designed by Chanel and dyed his hair a brighter silver. He looked stunning and felt stunning as he stood in front of the flashing cameras.
“Ah, Park Jimin, you did it again.” He exclaims, walking up to his bookshelf and slipping the magazine into a newly bought frame. It fits perfectly inside and Jimin places the frame on the empty spot right beside his photo with Seokjin. He takes a step back to admire the framed magazine and hums, “You truly are the shit.”
After a few more moments of admiring his hard work, he slips out his phone to call his mom.
As always, she answers on the first ring. “Honey!”
Jimin’s immediately calmed upon hearing her voice, “Hey, mom.”
“How are you? Did you get the kimchi I packed?” she asks in the same bubbly rhythm she always uses when talking with Jimin.
“Yes, yes, I ate it with some pork cutlets.”
“Good, good. You know I worry about you.”
He laughs softly, “I know…I’m taking care of myself.”
His mother continues to talk about her life in Busan and how she’s getting along well with her neighbors. She also fills Jimin in on the latest neighborhood gossip and how everyone is jealous of her “amazing son.”
“I made lots of high-school friends after telling them my son works with the Jeon Jeongguk.”
Jimin blushes, wrapping an arm around himself. “Mom,”
“Those young girls always gave me a bit of a hassle, but now they come to the restaurant and order seconds.” She excitedly relays. “How is he anyways? Still giving you trouble?”
“No…we’re getting along well.”
Suddenly she drops her voice, “When you say ‘getting along’ do you mea—”
“Mom!” Jimin exclaims, ears catching fire at the thought of his mom even thinking about him and Jeongguk that way.
“What?” her tone rises, taking on an innocent hitch. “I know these things. I know you and I did a Naver search and waah! I thought, he’s definitely my son’s type.”
Jimin’s a flustered mess now as incoherent words come from his mouth.
“Well, thank you for checking in on your little, old mother.” She says, oblivious to Jimin's embarrassment.
He manages to recover, saying sweetly, “You know I’m always thinking about you.”
She sighs into the phone, “I know.”
“I plan on visiting soon.” Jimin adds.
“Oh! You should bring Jeongguk along.”
Jimin chokes on his spit, “M-mom, we’re not like that and I don’t think he’d want to come...”
“You never know.” She replies cheerily.
Jimin tries to argue against her, but she cuts him off, explaining that a group of customers just walked into the restaurant. Jimin knows her and knows that she’s lying but laughs it off because she’s always like this. So, he ends the call and decides to take a picture of his The ShitTM magazine cover (aka the Forbes issue) and sends it to Jeongguk. He gets an immediate response.
Ah, you look like an angel
Are you even real or are you just a figment of my imagination?
Jimin snorts, amused by Jeongguk’s shamelessness.
If you really are real, then you’ll send me a selfie
Right now : )
Jimin stares at his phone for a moment and decides to leave Jeongguk on read just to mess with him. He tucks his phone away and leaves his office to check in with Taehyung next door. He knocks once before opening the door and slipping inside. Taehyung’s seated on top of his desk and Jimin isn’t surprised by that, but by his apple hairstyle.
Taehyung looks up, bright-eyed and joyous. “Jimin!” he jumps off the desk and rushes up to Jimin with a portfolio in hand.
Jimin stumbles back with a surprised grin, “What? Must be something good, you look like you’re in the stars.”
“I got my first client!” Taehyung exclaims.
Jimin’s eyes widen and he pulls Taehyung into a hug. “Look at you!”
They jump around in each other’s arms for a moment before pulling back. Taehyung opens the portfolio and they look over it together.
Name: Park Seo-joon
Occupation: Actor & Model
Jimin whistles, “You’ve caught a big fish.”
“Big enough to become the shit like you?”
Jimin blinks rapidly, a thin smile stretching his lips as he reaches around to pat Taehyung on the butt. “Nice try, my baby, but you still have some growing to do.”
Taehyung chuckles and they continue talking about Taehyung’s new client before Jimin excuses himself to call up a few reporters about a few press releases he’s written regarding Jeongguk’s fan meet. He builds their interest with eye-catching headlines and pitches, and once he’s done with that, he moves on to write a bit more of his book.
He types away at his laptop for hours and pauses to stretch before continuing again. He leans back to read over the first few lines of his book and he’s quite content with what he has.
‘Park Jimin can be described in three words:
As a PR Specialist I’ve dealt with a lot of bullshit, but it’s shaped me into the person I am today. So, I don’t have any regrets. I just like to think that all the hurdles I’ve faced are steppingstones. Yeah, that’s exactly what they are.’
Jimin gives himself a pat on the back and yawns. He glances at the clock above his office door and gasps. It’s already six in the evening. He hurries to shut things down, slipping on his coat and shooting Jeongguk a quick text.
Sorry, I was too busy being real, I forgot to respond
Jeongguk’s response comes as a phone call and he answers with a pout, “Not funny.”
Jimin laughs loudly, walking out of his office and locking the door. “I couldn’t resist the urge to tease you.”
“I spent the entire rehearsal wondering if you were sent back to heaven.”
Jimin tries to press his lips together to keep from laughing but fails and ends up releasing a choked gasp.
Jeongguk smiles softly as he pictures Jimin laughing, “Are you headed home?”
“Yeah,” Jimin walks down the hall, bowing to a few employees who are also on their way out. “are you still rehearsing?”
“Nah, we wrapped up early.”
Jeongguk unlocks his car and ducks inside and hypes himself up before asking, “Which is why I called to see if you wanted to come over.”
Jimin’s eyebrows raise, “Is the Jeon Jeongguk inviting me over to his place?”
“Yes, he is.”
“Aren’t you tired?”
“A bit, but I’m sure I’ll feel better once I see you.” He answers smoothly.
Jimin releases an airy laugh. “How about tomorrow evening?”
“I can do that.”
Jimin tries not to get the butterflies as he realizes he’s never been to Jeongguk’s place. Tries not to think about why Jeongguk’s suddenly decided to invite him over but fails. “Why? So suddenly…” he hesitantly asks.
“I mean…I’ve always wanted to invite you over, but because our schedules have been crazy, the chance got away from me.” Jeongguk explains. “Also, since you know me best—”
“I don’t know you best.” Jimin interjects, blushing a bit.
“—since you know me the best,” Jeongguk repeats. “I want you to help me choose from some old photos, so I can post them to my Twitter.”
“Huh? Why not just send me scanned copies in an email…?”
“It’s not the same.”
Jimin lowers his voice questioningly, “Why does it feel like I’m walking into a trap?”
Jeongguk laughs, “Perhaps you are, but it’s not a trap if you’re aware of my intentions.”
“Sneaky.” Jimin replies and he tries to calm the racing of his heart as he picks up on the suggestiveness in Jeongguk’s tone. It’s not like Jimin hasn’t thought about having sex with Jeongguk again. Frankly, he’s thought about it way too much. Some nights he’d touch himself and moan into his pillows.
“Anyways, I’ll let you go. Get home safe.” Jeongguk says softly.
“You too.” Jimin ends the call and manages to drive home despite how weak in the knees Jeongguk has him feeling.
A shared call isn’t the only thing they share tonight. Once they make it home, the palpable tension between them spills out as Jimin pushes his fingers into himself and Jeongguk moans Jimin’s name beneath the spray of his shower.
The next morning Jeongguk feels somewhat groggy since his night was spent fulfilling his desires and he reached several orgasms that just weren’t it. When Eunwoo calls to see if he’s headed to the company, Jeongguk answers a bit snappily.
“Woah, I’m just doing my job, no need to bite.”
Jeongguk slips into his car with a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry, I just—sorry.”
“Yeah, just,” Jeongguk swallows. “I’m fine.” He spares Eunwoo the gritty details of his night and skips right to his schedule. He has a meeting this morning and a live scheduled for the afternoon, and after that, he’s free to enjoy the rest of his day. That statement makes him extremely elated because he plans on spending the remainder of his day with Jimin.
Eunwoo shares that Jeongguk’s fans have trended several hashtags on Twitter, counting down to the fan meet next week.
“This is going to be amazing.” Eunwoo assures.
Jeongguk hopes so.
After jerking himself off till he was certain his dick was going to go numb, he spent some time in front of the mirror, rehearsing two words: “I’m gay.” Looking at himself while saying those words were difficult. He could see the years of pain in his eyes, the heartache and the hiding, it was terrifying. Maybe he should tell Eunwoo now instead of shocking him on D-day, but the thought of it causes his throat to close.
“You there?” Eunwoo asks.
“Y-yeah,” he clears his throat. “I’ll be at the XS in fifteen minutes.”
“Alright, see you soon.”
Jeongguk ends the call and grips the steering wheel to calm his heart. He reminds himself that he can do this and that this is his chance to finally be himself. Completely. Once he makes it to the company, he walks through the doors with a bright smile and briefly ponders how his friends and associates will react once he’s out. He sits through the meeting, listening intently to the organizers and then he moves to another room to start his live. He spends about an hour chatting with fans on V-live and dropping little spoilers about the fan meet. Things go by quickly and before he even realizes it, his day is over. Once he’s in his car, he immediately calls Jimin.
The line rings and then there’s a click, “Yes, sweetheart?” Jimin answers.
Jeongguk heart gives a kick. “I love it when you call me that.” He confesses.
Jimin chuckles, “Good to know.”
“Are you at the office?” Jeongguk asks.
“No, I just got home.”
“I’ll come pick you up.” Jeongguk replies, starting his car and buckling himself up.
“Let me wash up first.”
Jeongguk momentarily loses his train of thought as he thinks about Jimin in the shower. Skin glistening and wet with droplets of water running down his plump ass and thick thig—Fuck. Focus, Jeongguk.
“Did I lose you?” Jimin teases.
Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate to answer, “Yes, you did.”
Jimin’s response comes as a tinkering laugh, “Give me thirty minutes.”
“Alright, I’ll pick-up dinner before heading over.”
“God, you’re fucking perfect.” Jimin swoons.
“What’re you in the mood for?” Jeongguk begins to list off several restaurants that are on the way to Jimin’s house.
“Mm,” Jimin decides to just go for it because when is such a good opportunity going to present itself again? “You?”
“Really? You really went there?” Jeongguk asks. “I kind of expected it, but not really, you know?”
Jimin smiles, holding his phone tightly as he listens to the surprised lilt of Jeongguk’s voice.
“Well, in that case, how do you want me? Seasoned? A little bland? Hm?”
Jimin replies breezily, “Preferably inside me, but you can decide.”
Jeongguk chokes, hacking into the phone because he was not expecting that. “H-have you always been this way? I don’t…I don’t remember you being this way or maybe I missed it.”
“What?” Jimin asks innocently. “You don’t like it?”
“No, I love it actually, I just,” Jeongguk drags a hand down his face. “gonna need a minute to cool off.”
“It only gets worse from here.” Jimin responds.
“Don’t you mean better?”
After what feels like an hour of endless flirting and teasing, Jimin ends the call to shower and Jeongguk heads to Jimin’s favorite restaurant to pick up their dinner.
Jimin looks around star struck as he steps into Jeongguk’s apartment which just so happens to be part of Hannam the Hill. Jimin’s dreamed about moving into one of these and figures he’ll have a chance to do so in a few years. There’s touches of Jeongguk’s personality in the décor and even with the way everything’s so neatly organized.
“Baby, let me get your coat.” Jeongguk says, coming up behind Jimin. “I’ll hang it up for you.”
“Oh, okay, thanks.” Jimin holds his arms out to the side as Jeongguk gently slides Jimin’s coat off his shoulders.
Jimin’s a bit taken aback by the domesticity of Jeongguk’s actions and thinks about how Sungwoon never treated him like this. But it’s thoughts like these that give Jimin pause because he has yet to reach a place where he stops comparing his partners to Sungwoon. Especially, Jeongguk. Jeongguk doesn’t deserve to be constantly compared. Jimin’s let go, but there’s still old habits he needs to rid himself of for good before beginning a serious relationship.
“There.” Jeongguk gives Jimin’s shoulders a squeeze once the coat is off. “Make yourself comfortable while I go hang this up.”
“I’ll set the table then.”
They go their separate ways; Jimin heads to the kitchen and Jeongguk to the closet at the front door. Jimin makes quick work of the dining table, laying out their food and pouring two glasses of wine. He steps back to admire his work and Jeongguk hugs him from behind, resting his chin in the crook of Jimin’s neck.
“Looks good.” Jeongguk softly murmurs.
Jimin hums in response, struggling to ignore the press of Jeongguk’s body against his back. He’s so warm and sturdy, and Jimin melts each time they touch. He honestly thinks that if he were to ask Jeongguk to pin him to the kitchen counters, he probably would, but Jimin didn’t come here for that. Yet. So, he begrudgingly steps out of Jeongguk’s hold. “Let’s eat.”
“Mmkay,” Jeongguk straightens and walks around Jimin to sit at the table.
They sit and engage in light conversation, laughing and raising their glasses to toast Jimin’s successes and Jeongguk’s fan meet next week. Jeongguk takes this time to admire the little things about Jimin. The way he holds his glass to the way he hums a bit after eating something that tastes delicious. Jeongguk’s completely and utterly in love with him.
Once they’ve finished their meal, Jimin helps to clean the dishes. Jeongguk steps back with a smile to admire Jimin singing to himself as he cleans. Jimin sways his hips and without a second thought, Jeongguk walks up and places his hands to Jimin’s hips.
“Do you come here often?” Jeongguk jokes as he sways with Jimin.
“Mm, not really.”
Jimin giggles, elbowing Jeongguk in the stomach. “Stop it and help me.”
After cleaning the dishes, they slip off to Jeongguk’s bedroom where he keeps the photo albums from his childhood. It’s the only thing he took from his parent’s place when he moved out years ago. There’s mainly photos from high school and a few from when he was in kindergarten.
“You can have a seat on the bed.” Jeongguk says as he walks to his closet to retrieve the photo album. He pushes aside his clothes until he finds the beige album. It’s a bit tattered around the edges and Jeongguk’s immediately hit with memories as he clutches it in his hands. He walks back to the bed and plops beside Jimin.
“So, what am I doing again?” Jimin asks.
“Helping me choose a couple photos to post.”
“Right because you couldn’t email them to me.”
Jeongguk snaps his fingers, “Exactly. I need you here.”
Jimin rolls his eyes with a smile and gestures for Jeongguk to open the album. The first page is full of “baby Jeongguk” with his chubby cheeks and doe eyes. They’re photos that cause Jimin’s heart to melt.
“Do you…have any favorite childhood memories?” Jimin asks.
Jeongguk continues thumbing through the pages. “Well, there was one time I fought with another kid in the neighborhood because he knocked my ice-cream out of my hand.”
Jimin snorts, “You fought?”
“Nah, more like stared him down until he ran off to his mom.”
Jimin laughs, picturing baby Jeongguk doing just that. “And that’s your favorite memory?”
“Yeah…because that little kid was my best friend…the one that ultimately shut me out.”
“Yeah,” he stops flipping the pages and points to a photo of him wearing a high school uniform. “we had a lot of great memories together before things went to shit, but the shitty parts are also part of me.”
“I get that.” Jimin says softly.
Jeongguk looks into Jimin’s eyes and smiles. “What do you think of this one?” he watches as Jimin’s gaze drops to look at the photo in question.
Jimin’s expression lights up, “You were a cute kid.”
“I heard that a lot.”
“Bet you did.” Jimin murmurs, adding a moment later, “I like it.”
They continue flipping through the photos, reliving some of Jeongguk’s greatest moments from his youth. It’s when Jeongguk shares the details of his time spent with his childhood friend that Jimin realizes they should talk about them. What they are and what they hope to be.
Jimin reaches over, placing a hand atop the photo album to get Jeongguk’s attention. “I think we should…talk about us.” He begins hesitantly.
Momentarily confused, Jeongguk gazes at Jimin before placing the photo album aside to give Jimin his undivided attention.
“I don’t know when we’ll get a chance to talk like this again, so…”
Jeongguk rests a hand to Jimin’s thigh, “Let’s talk.”
Jimin doesn’t know where to begin, so he takes a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. “I like you a lot. The mere mention of your name makes me stupid giddy.” He confesses, carefully choosing his words next words. “And I know you feel the same. I can feel it in your actions and the way you look at me and talk to me.”
That statement makes Jeongguk’s heart soar.
“But…I don’t think we should rush into this.” Jimin pauses, takes another deep breath, and continues. “I shouldn’t rush to call you my lover because there’s still somethings I need to take care of personally before starting a serious relationship.” He stares into Jeongguk’s eyes. “I’m serious about you, Jeongguk and I don’t want to hurt you. Ever.”
“I don’t want to hurt you either…” Jeongguk says in a small voice and suddenly he seems like the little boy in the photos they were looking at.
“We can take it slow.” Jimin murmurs. “That's what we deserve and no matter how slow we take it; I'll be here waiting."
Jeongguk knows Jimin is saying this with their best interests in mind. Jimin has his reasons for wanting to slow things down, so does Jeongguk. He’ll eventually be dealing with the reaction to his coming out and the conflicted feelings of being gay in a society that has yet to accept him. He doesn’t want to put Jimin—someone he hopes to call boyfriend someday—in the middle of the battleground with himself.
“Not to mention the contract,” Jimin continues. “I just…”
“You don’t need to explain yourself,” Jeongguk says tenderly. “I’ll wait for you too.” He looks at Jimin as though he’s recalling each moment they’ve spent together. Every second and minute, and hour he’s spent falling for Jimin. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me." He cups Jimin’s face in his hands and leans in for a chaste kiss. When Jeongguk pulls back, Jimin chases his lips and pulls him in for another kiss. Jeongguk deepens the kiss, running a hand up the side of Jimin’s face to rest in his hair and opening his mouth so Jimin can slip his tongue inside.
It happens naturally, Jeongguk gently pushes Jimin against the bed and climbs atop him. He continues kissing Jimin; soft little nips and lingering swipes of his tongue. Jeongguk drops his hands from Jimin’s face and rests them beside Jimin’s head.
However, Jimin immediately stiffens when Jeongguk pins him to the bed. He can see the desire in Jeongguk’s eyes, but there’s a tinge of something softer—sweeter. It makes Jimin’s heart speed up and his stomach fill with butterflies. Jeongguk leans back to catch his breath before pressing his lips to Jimin’s again. With each brush of their lips, Jeongguk realizes how stiff Jimin is. His arms are placed flat to the bed and he’s staring up at the ceiling. Detached but wanting to be in the moment.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk says in a voice barely above a whisper—tender and intimate. “I won’t hurt you.”
Jimin blinks as Jeongguk shifts atop him and he cups Jimin’s face in his hands.
“I’ll never hurt you.” He emphasizes this by leaning in and kissing Jimin’s forehead and nose. When Jimin’s eyes flutter, Jeongguk gently presses his lips to Jimin’s closed lids. “We can stop.”
Jimin opens his eyes and gazes back at Jeongguk, he shakes his head. “I want this. I want to do this with you.” He places a hand to Jeongguk’s lower back. “It’s just…sometimes I see his face and his hands—I feel them, and I don’t want to feel him anymore.” he takes another deep breath. “I want to feel you.”
Jeongguk doesn’t know what to say or how he should express the immense love and admiration he has for Jimin, so he kisses him deeply, hoping his words can be conveyed in his actions. Jimin reciprocates the kiss, leaning into it and closing his eyes. They kiss for a while; tangled tongues and heavy breaths before Jeongguk pulls back to undress himself. Jimin watches him, eyes glazed and heart racing as Jeongguk flings his clothes aside until he sits atop Jimin in nothing but his skin.
Jimin’s gaze immediately drops to Jeongguk’s bare chest and he swallows. It doesn’t matter how many times he sees Jeongguk’s body, it’ll still leave him as breathless as the first time.
“Here,” Jeongguk says as he gently takes Jimin’s hand in his, bringing Jimin’s fingers to his abs. “feel me.”
Jimin swallows thickly as Jeongguk guides him.
“I’m all yours, hyung.” Jeongguk whispers, releasing Jimin’s hand.
Jimin’s fingers rest against Jeongguk’s stomach and for a moment, he isn’t sure what he should do, but when he looks into Jeongguk’s eyes, everything falls into place. Jimin traces the sharp outline of Jeongguk’s abs and lower to the jut of his V-line. His eyes glitter with lust when his gaze lands on Jeongguk’s fully erect cock. His fingers dance down, stopping just below Jeongguk’s navel. Jeongguk inhales sharply and Jimin can feel how his body trembles—how much his touch affects him.
“Jeongguk,” Jimin says softly as he looks into Jeongguk’s eyes.
Jimin slides his hand up to rest against Jeongguk’s firm pectoral and a moan vibrates the back of his throat. He’s always had a thing for Jeongguk’s chest, how it fits perfectly in his hand. “Are you holding back?”
Jeongguk’s eyelids flutter as he slowly nods, “Yes,” his cock throbs and the veins in his arms are more pronounced as he clenches his fists. “of course, I am.”
“Don’t.” Jimin wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s shoulders and pulls him close. “You don’t need to anymore.”
Jeongguk’s eyes widen as he takes in Jimin’s tender expression. He swallows before asking, “Can you take it off?”
“Everything,” Jeongguk’s gaze drops to Jimin’s shirt and jeans. “I want to see everything, Jimin.”
Jimin smiles, whispering, “Then take it off for me. Take it all off.”
Jeongguk does so, undressing Jimin from head to toe and once he’s done, he leans back to admire the view. Jimin lies beneath him, sprawled out and so beautiful. Jeongguk takes his time looking Jimin up and down, soaking in each curve, muscle, and hair.
Jimin breaks the silence by saying, “Condom and lube?”
Jeongguk snaps out of his daze, fumbling off the bed and to his closet. He hurriedly moves his clothes around until he discovers a plain bottle of lube and a loose condom. When he returns to the bed, Jimin’s lying with his knees up, legs spread and a hand over his buttocks.
“Fuck, you’re really gonna be the death of me.” Jeongguk mutters.
Jimin ushers him over with a grin, “Hand me the lube, sweetheart, I’ll prep myse—”
“I want to do it this time.” Jeongguk interrupts.
Something flickers in Jimin’s eyes as he processes Jeongguk’s words. It’s been so long since he’s allowed for anyone to prep him.
“I mean, if I can, if you’ll let me.” Jeongguk climbs back onto the bed, settling by Jimin’s feet. His leg begins to bounce as he studies Jimin’s mildly distraught expression. After a moment, he places a hand to his nape and mutters, “Never mind. Sorry for rushing.”
“No, no,” Jimin rushes to say. “You can.” Slowly, he removes his hand from his buttocks, revealing himself to Jeongguk. He sinks into the bed, spreading his legs some more and baring himself completely. He’s not used to this. Hasn’t been this open since forever ago.
Jeongguk’s eyes focus on Jimin’s ass and his cock swells even more upon seeing the taut ring of pink muscle.
“Just uhm…kiss me while you do it.” Jimin murmurs shyly.
Jeongguk licks his dry lips as his mind slowly begins to function again. He nods, opening the bottle of lube and slicking up two fingers. Once he’s done, he places the bottle aside and hovers over Jimin. He leans in close, kissing his nose and lips before slipping two fingers inside of him. Jimin responds with a whimper, lips trembling against Jeongguk’s. Jeongguk opens him up slowly, careful to not cause him any further pain.
His slender fingers push deeply into Jimin’s ass, “Does it hurt?”
It hurts like hell, but Jimin manages to breathe through it. “N-not that much, I uhm,” he releases a shuddering breath. “I did it a c-couple times w-while thinking of you.”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows knit as images of Jimin fingering himself up fly through his mind. How does Jimin expect him to react after hearing such? He fingered himself while thinking of me? How many times? Did he openly moan my name or did he hold back?
“Baby,” Jeongguk groans. “that’s unfair.”
Jimin’s back arches when Jeongguk begins to slip his fingers in and out, creating an electrifying sensation.
“Since when? Since that night?” Jeongguk asks, nipping Jimin’s bottom lip. “Hm?”
“For a while now,” he responds, grimacing a bit when Jeongguk’s fingers push too deep, too suddenly.
“For a while?” Jeongguk echoes in disbelief, curling his fingers and shuddering when Jimin moans unabashedly.
After a tormented moment of prepping Jimin, listening to his moans and feeling the tightness of his ass, Jeongguk slips his fingers out to prepare himself. He rips open the condom, slides it onto his cock and lubes himself up. He feels overwhelmed and painfully aroused. He just wants to push inside him and make Jimin moan his name. Jeongguk grabs the back of Jimin’s thighs and spreads them further apart as he aligns his cock to Jimin’s entrance.
“I’ll push in slowly, hyung.” He murmurs more to himself than to Jimin.
Jimin nods, holding his breath as Jeongguk pushes into him. He bites his bottom lip, eyebrows furrowing as the tip of Jeongguk’s cock breaches his rim. It burns and throbs, and Jimin quickly realizes that Jeongguk should’ve used three fingers. Poor thing doesn’t realize how well-endowed he truly is or maybe he does.
Jeongguk exhales, releasing his hold on Jimin’s thighs to rest his hands on the mattress. A familiar tightness and warmth surrounds his cock as he continues pushing until he’s finally bottomed out. “Fuck…” he exhales before kissing Jimin to soothe his pain.
Jimin closes his eyes, “M-move,” he huffs, slinging his arms over Jeongguk’s shoulders.
“Okay,” Jeongguk pulls his hips back and then rocks them forward. The bed shakes and he nearly topples over from the sensation of his cock moving deeply inside Jimin.
The first thrust has Jimin seeing white; his back arches and his nails dig into Jeongguk’s back. His body feels alive and he wants nothing more than for Jeongguk to stay inside him forever—to fill him up and claim the deepest parts of him.
Jeongguk thrusts again and a wet slap resounds throughout the bedroom and he shudders as he sinks deeper into Jimin. It’s taking everything in him to maintain a languid pace. His cock twitches and his stomach tenses, but he wants to make this special for Jimin—to make it last.
“A-again,” Jimin pants. “do it again.”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow as he momentarily pulls his hips back before rocking back into Jimin. Jimin moans higher this time and Jeongguk thinks that Jimin’s moans sound as sweet as sugar and he wants to hear it over and over. So, he sucks on Jimin’s neck until a mark appears on his smooth skin.
“Lovely,” Jeongguk sighs.
Jimin has no idea what he’s talking about—can only think about Jeongguk being inside him, how it feels like he’s being split in half and how good it feels to let go like this.
“You’re so lovely, Jimin.” Jeongguk accentuates each word with a thrust, pushing deeper and deeper into Jimin until he grazes his prostate. Jimin reacts with a loud moan, nails trailing down Jeongguk’s back and Jeongguk takes a deep breath to control himself. Make it special, he reminds himself.
Jeongguk leans back to look into Jimin’s eyes and what he sees makes his heart skip. Jimin’s pupils are blown and a tender look causes his eyes to glaze. He’s so beautiful and Jeongguk’s body reacts by pumping the condom with pre-come and causing his hips to twitch forward. Jimin moans lowly, lids fluttering and Jeongguk curses.
“Fuck, I want to,” he swallows. “want to go a little faster. Can I?”
Jimin manages to nod as he wraps his legs around Jeongguk’s waist. “D-do it sweetheart,” he leans up and sucks on Jeongguk’s bottom lip, uttering Jeongguk’s words from earlier. “I’m all yours.”
All mine. The thought echoes in Jeongguk’s mind and the more he thinks about it, the harder it becomes for him to hold back. So, he kisses Jimin deeply, snapping his hips forward and groaning as his cock sinks into Jimin’s warmth. It’s too much yet not enough. Jeongguk wants more—will always want more. He continues thrusting, swallowing each of Jimin’s moans and gripping the bedsheets.
Jimin’s cock throbs against his stomach and with each thrust, he jostles against the bed. It’s so good. Jeongguk knows his body so well, setting the perfect pace and hitting Jimin’s spot with each roll of his hips. He’s fucking perfect in every way and Jimin wants him to know. He needs Jeongguk to know that.
When they separate for air, Jimin murmurs against Jeongguk’s lips, “I s-said it the first time,” Jimin smiles. “you’re a work of art.”
Jeongguk tilts his head with a smirk, “Really?” His hips snap forward, relishing in the way Jimin’s expression melts with pleasure. “Tell me more, baby.”
Jimin moves a hand to grip Jeongguk’s bicep, “You know my body—you k-know me so well.” Jimin’s words are strained because Jeongguk thrusts each time he speaks. “F-fuck me—ah—so well.”
“I do…don’t I?” The moment Jeongguk asks this, he leans back to change their angle. Jimin’s legs slip from around his waist and Jeongguk grabs one of his legs, gripping him by the dip of his knee. He holds Jimin’s leg just above his shoulder, spreading him open.
Jimin’s eyes widen at the new angle and he lays partway on his side, unable to look at Jeongguk who’s still buried inside of him. This new angle leaves Jimin completely at Jeongguk’s mercy—open and desperate for him to move. Jeongguk’s dark eyes sweep across Jimin’s flushed frame, he bites his bottom lip and thrusts forward once.
Jimin yelps, body sliding forward a bit from the force Jeongguk uses.
Jeongguk does it again, slower this time and not once does he blink, afraid he’ll miss the bliss on Jimin’s face.
“Jeongguk, mmm.” Jimin whines, burying his head in the pillows.
“No,” Jeongguk finally speaks—voice hoarse. “want to see your face.”
Jimin quivers, ears completely red.
“Look at me,” Seeing Jimin so shy and flustered causes pride to bloom in his chest. “let me look at you.”
Jimin swears he can hear his own heartbeat, can feel it in his throat as Jeongguk stares him down. He takes a deep breath before turning his head to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze. He can feel what he does to Jeongguk, can feel his cock swell inside of him. Jeongguk is visibly affected by Jimin’s debauched appearance and he curses under his breath before tightening his grip on Jimin’s leg and slamming into him. He uses his free hand to caress Jimin’s face.
“Fucking gorgeous.” Jeongguk grunts. “Want to look at you all day and fuck you all night.”
The thought of Jeongguk fucking him through the night causes Jimin to shudder and his eyes roll back when the tip of Jeongguk’s cock grazes his prostate. So close, so close.
“Such a s-sight,” Jeongguk praises until he can no longer articulate his thoughts. He quickens his movements, repeatedly slamming into Jimin’s ass. His cock stretches Jimin open and Jeongguk’s eyes briefly close as the pleasure overwhelms him. There’s no place he’d rather be right now. Connected to Jimin this way. No person he’d rather make love to. Just Jimin, only him.
Jimin clutches the bedsheets as he feels his stomach tighten. “C-close, Gguk, I’m—nngh.”
“Don’t touch yourself.” Jeongguk commands in a deep voice. “Want you to cum from my—fuck.” he hisses when Jimin suddenly clenches around him. “My cock only, can you do that?”
“I-if you ask nicely.” Jimin manages to taunt.
Jeongguk laughs lowly as his hips pull back, “Can you please cum from my cock only?”
“Might as well since you asked so nice—aaah.” Jimin’s response is cut short when Jeongguk abruptly thrusts forward, slamming straight into him. Jimin catches the devilish gleam in Jeongguk’s eyes, but instead of being angered, he’s even more turned on. There’s something Jimin really likes about Jeongguk when he’s being authoritative.
Losing control isn’t so bad when it’s at the hands of someone he can trust. Jeongguk fucks him right. Actually, Jeongguk knows how to love him. He understands what buttons to push, how to tease Jimin just right and fuck that’s the spot.
“That’s it,” Jimin blubbers. “there.”
“There? Is that it, baby?” Jeongguk asks, hips working tirelessly.
Jimin nods, mouth falling open as moans are ripped from him. “Yes, that’s it, don’t stop.”
Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow and he’s raising Jimin’s leg to open him up a bit more and it’s perfect. He watches Jimin come undone. Listens to his hoarse moans and watches the way Jimin’s cock dribbles cum onto his toned stomach. His body shakes as he orgasms, murmuring Jeongguk’s name into the pillows. Jeongguk follows him, brushing a thumb along Jimin’s bottom lip and thrusting rapidly as he cums into the condom. His body tingles and his chest heaves as he struggles to catch his breath. Jimin studies Jeongguk’s pleasured expression—closed eyes, parted lips, dark bangs matted to his forehead and his bobbing adam’s apple—he looks sinful.
I did that, Jimin thinks with a prideful smile.
Jeongguk releases Jimin’s leg and collapses against him. He breathes harshly into Jimin’s neck. Jimin moans lightly as Jeongguk shifts inside of him. He kind of doesn’t want Jeongguk to pull out, but he needs to so they can wash up.
“You need to move,” Jimin mutters.
“If I move, I’ll see you.” Jeongguk replies. “And I’ll get hard again.” Jeongguk knows Jimin looks completely ruined, he got a good look just before he came, but it wasn’t enough.
“Then close your eyes.” Jimin snaps back as he shoves Jeongguk aside. Jeongguk’s cock slips out of him and Jimin grimaces at the sensation. When he looks down, he groans in frustration upon seeing the drying cum on his stomach.
“You lay there.” Jeongguk says, immediately understanding Jimin’s frustrations. “I’ll clean you up.”
Jimin makes a move to stop Jeongguk, but Jeongguk’s off the bed in seconds, fumbling to slide off the condom and toss it in a nearby bin. Jimin watches him go, heart thrumming with adoration and ass sore. He’s going to feel it tomorrow morning, but it’s a welcome pain. The pain that comes after being properly loved. In all honesty, he could go for another round. Jeongguk makes him feel safe and satisfied.
“Towel’s a bit warm,” Jeongguk says, stepping back into the room still fully naked.
Jimin gives him the up and down before rolling onto his stomach. His heart flutters when the bed dips beside his feet and he closes his eyes. Jeongguk places a gentle hand to the back of Jimin’s thighs and reminds himself to calm down because now’s not the time to get hard again. He carefully wipes Jimin, spreading his butt cheeks to properly clean the lube from inside of him. Jimin grimaces, moving a bit on the bed.
“Doing okay?” Jeongguk asks softly.
“Mhm, thank you.”
Once Jeongguk’s finished cleaning him up, he leans down to press a kiss to the back of Jimin’s thighs, so close to his ass.
Jimin shudders, “Sweetheart?”
“Sorry,” Jeongguk pulls back. “I like to kiss after sex.”
Jimin snorts, “Sounds like a cheap excuse to kiss my ass.”
“Cheap?” Jeongguk scoffs. “I’m offended.” He gives Jimin’s ass a light slap, dick threatening to get hard again as he watches the way Jimin’s ass jiggles.
Jimin flops onto his back and gazes at Jeongguk, “Put some clothes on and we can kiss all you want.”
Like an over eager puppy, Jeongguk clambers off the bed and into his boxers. Jimin watches with a smile, covering his naked body with the bedsheets. He pats the empty space beside him and Jeongguk fills it with his warm body. Jimin snuggles close, wrapping his arms around Jeongguk and burying his face in Jeongguk’s chest. He listens to the rhythmic thump-thump of his heart and closes his eyes.
“I thought we were going to kiss.” Jeongguk jokingly mutters into the top of Jimin’s head.
“In a minute…I just want to stay like this for a little while longer.”
Jeongguk smiles sweetly, “Whatever you want.”
They naturally fall into a comfortable silence. Jimin contemplates whether he should fall asleep in Jeongguk’s arms—spend the night and wake up in the morning with Jeongguk by his side. The thought sounds really nice, but he knows tomorrow’s going to be too chaotic for such luxuries. Ah…morning sex. That’d be nice too.
“I wish I could stay…” Jimin murmurs as he leans back to look up into Jeongguk’s eyes.
“You can. I won’t stop you.”
Jimin laughs lightly, “I know you won’t.”
Jeongguk leans down to suddenly steal a kiss and Jimin happily reciprocates it. “Stay,” he whispers once they separate.
“I can drop you off at your place first thing in the morning. Doesn’t’ matter how early, I can do that for you.” Jeongguk continues and his eyes are sparkling with hope and determination.
“I need to go back to my place tonight.”
Jeongguk doesn’t bother to ask why because he knows how busy Jimin’s been writing his book and preparing articles for Jeongguk’s fan meet.
“And you have rehearsals first thing in the morning.” Jimin leans in to press his lips to the mole beneath Jeongguk’s bottom lip. “Did you forget?”
“I tend to forget things when there’s other things I’d rather be doing.” Jeongguk answers simply as his hand slides down Jimin’s hip to rest against his ass. Ever so slowly, he slides the blanket down from Jimin’s hips.
“Don’t get any ideas.” Jimin snaps, but he doesn’t bother to cover himself back up. “I’m too tired to go again.”
“I’ll eat you out, so you don’t have to move.”
Jimin’s gaze darkens as he stares into Jeongguk’s equally dark eyes. “Jeongguk.” he warns but this time he sounds a bit breathless.
“What?” Jeongguk’s fingers grab a handful of Jimin’s ass and he gingerly squeezes. “I’m serious.”
“No, no, we—you can’t.” Jimin tries to push himself out of Jeongguk’s arms, but Jeongguk holds him tight.
“Let me. It’ll relax you before you completely wreck yourself with work.” Jeongguk loosens his grip and carefully motions for Jimin to roll onto his stomach.
Jimin obeys because this is how things always work with Jeongguk and he’s still a bit surprised by how easily he allows for Jeongguk to take control now.
Once Jimin’s on his stomach, Jeongguk moves behind him and helps Jimin lift his legs so his ass is in the air and his torso is pressed to the bed. Jeongguk strokes Jimin’s buttocks, eyes gleaming with desire. “Perfect.”
Jimin shudders because Jeongguk’s voice is lower than usual and his breath blows against Jimin’s ass. Thinking about it now, Jimin realizes that Sungwoon never offered to eat him out. Jimin had to practically beg for it, but here he is now with his cheeks being spread by Jeongguk’s strong hands. God, he really couldn’t ask for a better soon to be partner.
Jeongguk leans in close and without a second thought, he kisses Jimin’s pink rim and Jimin’s hips jerk. Jeongguk isn’t bothered by the remnants of lube—doesn’t even think about it as he flicks his tongue against Jimin’s taut muscle. Jimin quivers, clutching the blankets and pushing back against Jeongguk’s mouth.
The stress and anxiety melts right off his shoulders and he doesn’t think about anything as Jeongguk dines on his ass. He’s willing to wait for me? Jimin moans as Jeongguk holds him by the hip to keep him in place as he fucks him with his tongue. How’d I get so damn lucky? Jimin winds up contemplating this all the way through his second orgasm of the night and he continues to think about it as Jeongguk cleans him up and drives him home. The next morning, on his way to the office, he calls Hoseok to fill him in on the (juicy) details of his evening with Jeongguk.
“He offered to eat my ass, Hoseok.” Jimin declares as he speeds through a yellow light. “Offered!”
“You sound excited—refreshed even.” Hoseok answers with a chuckle.
Jimin groans with joy, eyes practically rolling back as he thinks about last night. “It felt like I was melting and he was just so sweet about it, and sexy.” Jimin gushes, adding with a sigh, “He’s so good to me.”
“I’m happy for you.”
This is when it hits Jimin. He’s happy. Genuinely happy and the happiness makes him feel so light. “Yeah, thanks,” he flicks his hair out of his face with a smile. “I’m happy for me too.”
“Did you talk? You know…about a future with him?”
“Yeah,” Jimin replies. “we decided to take a break ‘till we get our shit together.”
“Wow,” Hoseok sighs in awe. “I think you two are going to have something really special.”
Jimin laughs, “You think so?”
“Yeah, I can feel it in my Balenciaga’s.”
Jimin laughs again and this happiness follows him throughout the rest of his busy week and eventually to Jeongguk’s fan meet which falls on Jeongguk’s birthday. Jimin stands in the waiting room designated for Jeongguk’s staff. He was told by an arena crew member that Jeongguk will be on stage in thirty minutes. Jimin hopes he has a chance to talk to him before then.
Also in the room are Dahye and Eunwoo. They both seem anxious as they sit opposite of Jimin.
“I’m terrified as fuck for him.” Dahye blurts, clenching her hands together.
Eunwoo nods, “It’s been a while since he’s performed in front of such a big audience.”
Dahye says nothing, simply gives him a look before turning to Jimin. “What about you? How are you feeling?”
“A lot of things.” Jimin laughs nervously. “It’s like my entire body is full of butterflies.”
“I can totally relate.” Dahye replies. “Feels like my son is finally spreading his wings.”
Wings. Yeah, that’s exactly what Jeongguk is doing.
Eunwoo looks confusedly between them, wanting to ask something, but missing the chance to because the door opens and Jeongguk steps inside.
When Jimin sees him, his eyes widen, and his heart skips a beat. Stunning is an understatement. Jeongguk looks like a prince in a leather jacket and gold trim shirt. He has a mic set on and security by his side. It’s moments like these that remind Jimin how much of a celebrity Jeongguk truly is. The aura he emits is completely different and when Jeongguk looks at him with those deep eyes, Jimin’s throat goes dry.
“Hyung,” Jeongguk walks over to him with a charming smile.
Jimin struggles to recover from the onslaught of flutters in his chest. “H-hey,”
“I’m so happy to see you.” Jeongguk says tenderly.
“What!” Dahye shouts. “You’re not happy to see us?!”
Jeongguk turns to her, tender expression shifting with amusement. “I saw you two the entire day. I’m just now seeing Jimin.”
“So?” Dahye snaps back.
As the three of them bicker, Jimin continues to stare up at Jeongguk. He’s completely starstruck by Jeongguk’s appearance and giddy with the thought of seeing him perform. He looks amazing, Jimin thinks as his gaze slides slowly down Jeongguk’s lean figure. After that night at Jeongguk’s place, they agreed to not have sex until they’ve personally sorted things out, but Jimin can’t help the thoughts that run through his mind. Jeongguk looks good. Jimin’s aching to tell him that—show him in other explicit ways.
Suddenly, Jeongguk turns back to Jimin and smirks when he realizes Jimin’s been staring him down the entire time. Jimin flusters, nearly choking on his spit when Jeongguk catches his gaze. Shit.
“H-happy birthday.” Jimin mutters to cover for himself, but he knows Jeongguk’s not going to buy it.
Jeongguk’s smirk broadens, “Thanks, gorgeous.”
Jimin’s cheeks flush and Dahye gawks at them, eyes flicking between them in shock. Eunwoo’s confusion grows even more, but the longer he stares at Jeongguk staring at Jimin, the pieces fall into place. It clicks.
“Hey, Dahye,” he leans over to ask in a whisper. “are they…?”
Dahye nods, “Took you long enough.”
Eunwoo leans back, expression blank as he tries to sort out his thoughts. He wonders why he never realized it and mentally kicks himself for assuming the person Jeongguk liked was a woman.
The door opens again and a crew member steps inside. “Jeongguk, we need you on the lift in five minutes.” She informs.
Jeongguk nods her way, “Alright, I’m coming now.” he gives Jimin’s hand a quick squeeze before walking away.
The stage lights are brighter than usual and Jeongguk burns a bit as he stands beneath them. His fans scream his name; a few cry while others jump up and down hysterically. He takes his time, looking at each side of the arena and the full seats. When the track for one of his songs starts to play, Jeongguk brings the mic to his lips and sings.
The fan meet progresses smoothly. He plays games with the fans, answers a couple questions, and performs his hit songs. Before he even realizes it, it’s already time for the VCR that will reshape his life. The VCR starts with a closed blue door and the camera zooms in slowly as the door opens. On the other side of the door is a bird on a blue ground that gradually changes colors. From red to orange, to green and yellow. As the bird walks along the colorful ground, an instrumental of Jeongguk’s song plays in the background.
Jeongguk stands backstage, awaiting his cue to return to stage and he feels like vomiting. The longer the VCR plays, the more his dizziness grows. He places a hand to his heart and closes his eyes.
The VCR ends with the bird flying across the rainbow sky and fans begin to hesitantly cheer as the screen fades to black. It’s an extremely abstract VCR in which Jeongguk doesn’t appear at all, but he’s certain his fans can infer that he’s the bird. As for the meaning of the rainbow sky and ground? That’s something he’ll need to further explain. So, he opens his eyes and walks out onto the stage. Screams erupt throughout the arena and he smiles, walking to the center of the stage.
The screams die out when Jeongguk brings the mic to his lips. “Confusing, right?” he jokes and giggles echo throughout the arena. He shakes the nerves from his hands. “I thought a lot about how I wanted to tell you all this—if I ever wanted to tell you, but…here I am now.” He pauses, gathers himself and continues. “I’m trembling a bit as I hold this mic, haha. But uhm…I need to say this for myself because I’m tired of being someone I’m not.”
Jeongguk looks out into the audience, making out a few faces and their confused yet intrigued expressions.
“I liked someone in high school. All I could see was them, think of them, smile with them and I just loved everything about them. So, one day I got the courage to tell them and…it didn’t end well.” Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut, takes another deep breath to calm himself. He reminds himself that he can do this—needs to do this for himself. “I was rejected and became afraid of myself and my sexuality—what it meant. I’d be shunned, targeted and hurt in so many ways.”
The emotions remain so vivid and raw, and real. They fill his throat and suddenly it’s hard to breathe, but Jeongguk pushes through it. It’s now or never. He opens his eyes and goes for it. “The person I liked, my best friend, was a guy. I fell in love with a guy.”
A heavy silence fills the arena and a few fans sit with their hands clamped over their mouths. Some turn and begin whispering to each other, while others stare at the big screen in shock.
“The bird in the VCR represents me and I thought so hard about how I wanted to express myself,” he rocks on the heels of his shoes. “I thought over and over about posting a video or a tweet or doing something else instead. Then I realized…I feel more at home when I’m on stage.”
Jeongguk continues to explain that he grew up on the stage, performing, crying and expressing himself through his music. This is where he belongs. Every part of his identity belongs here.
“So, to sum all of that up…” he laughs airily, “I’m…gay?”
An audible gasp shakes the arena, but Jeongguk tries again because that wasn’t right. He lifts his head and holds his mic tightly as he declares, “I’m gay.”
It feels like he’s travelling back in time to when he first confessed his feelings to his childhood friend. The tightness in his chest and the pure fear as he stands in front of thousands. Sitting backstage and watching from a monitor, Jimin shakes all over and his eyes are wet. Dahye’s frozen with dread as Eunwoo holds her.
Jeongguk braces himself for the backlash; fans leaving their seats and booing, but none of that happens. A steady clap builds before erupting into thunderous applause. There are a few fans who don’t join in on the applause, but Jeongguk’s too overwhelmed to notice. His legs are shaking and he’s certain he’ll topple over if he doesn’t sit soon. Luckily, there’s only one performance left and it’s over.
When the fan meet officially ends, Jeongguk walks backstage, passing staff members who hesitantly bow his way. A few clap when he passes them and others try not to make eye contact. Jeongguk doesn’t care, can only think about seeing Jimin and embracing him. He walks briskly down the hall and bursts through the waiting room doors.
Jimin jumps from his seat, eyes wide as Jeongguk rushes towards him. Before he even has a chance to speak, Jeongguk is pulling him into his arms and burying his face in Jimin’s shoulder.
Dahye and Eunwoo stare from their seats in shock and a few of the security guards look away.
“Thank you.” Jeongguk whispers into Jimin’s neck.
Jimin slowly wraps his arms around Jeongguk’s back and realizes how much Jeongguk is trembling.
“Thank you so much.” Jeongguk holds him tighter, eyebrows furrowed as he tries not to cry.
After a moment, Jimin says softly, “Are you prepared for everything?”
“Somewhat,” Jeongguk leans back to look Jimin in the eye. "I'm not afraid though...since I have you."
Jimin rubs circles into Jeongguk's back, “Get some rest tonight, I’ll handle the media.”
“I didn't mean it like that, Jimin. I mean--”
Jimin shushes him with the warm look in his eyes and Jeongguk just knows he knows. They continue to speak to each other in a soft tone, one that has everyone else in the room blushing and questioning just what their relationship is.
Dahye clears her throat, “I don’t get a hug?” she teases, opening her arms wide.
Jeongguk rolls his eyes but walks over and pulls her into a hug. “Thank you too, Dahye.”
“Anytime, my precious, Googie.”
Jeongguk then turns to Eunwoo who’s awkwardly fiddling with the hem of his shirt. Jeongguk smiles as he reaches out to Eunwoo, “Did I shock you?”
“Was it obvious then?”
Eunwoo shakes his head, “I had my thoughts, but…I never thought—I’m sorry.” He fumbles over his words, unsure how he should convey to Jeongguk that he accepts him for who he is. But there’s a look on Jeongguk’s face—gentle and kind—that shows he understands what’s on Eunwoo’s mind.
“Don’t sweat it, we can talk over a celebratory dinner tonight.”
Dahye cheers, “Jeongguk’s paying!”
“Me? Since when?”
“Since now.” Dahye singsongs.
Jeongguk gives in with a groan and he gives Jimin another hug before leaving to change out of his stage clothes. When he returns, Namjoon has joined them backstage with company. Jeongguk takes in the beaming faces of Seokjin, Taehyung and Hoseok.
“We heard you were treating.” Namjoon says.
“I guess so.”
Hoseok whistles, leaning into Taehyung with a smile.
That night, Jeongguk has never felt such freedom before, but what comes after his coming out is chaos. Tabloids rush to get the details of which celebrity made him realize he was gay and if he knows anyone else who might be gay in the industry. Their insensitivity pisses Jimin off and he releases an announcement regarding Jeongguk’s future interviews and public appearances. Jeongguk loses a few brand deals and even some celebrity acquaintances who don’t bother to understand him. They even go so far as to claim they knew he was gay because of how he acted. Total bullshit.
Jimin also works through the night to decline numerous reporters and magazines who aim to paint Jeongguk a certain way. There are a few outlets that begin to question Jeongguk’s relationship with Jimin, pushing for more and building a scandalous narrative.
Jimin crafts up a press release, detailing the importance of the VCR and why his client, Jeongguk, came out that way. He words the release carefully, indirectly calling out the media outlets who are pushing to out other idols and celebrities. He doesn’t bother to address the rumors regarding his relationship with Jeongguk.
When Jeongguk agrees to do an interview three days after his fan meet, he spends the night before on the phone with Jimin. They go over his talking points, how to answer certain questions and what questions to decline if he feels uncomfortable. They’re both mentally exhausted at this point, but hearing each other’s voices is comforting.
Jeongguk sighs, “Would it have been better if I never came ou—”
“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Jimin snaps on the other line. “You did what was right for you.”
“I just have a lot of doubts right now.” Jeongguk murmurs. “Whether I could’ve made a different decision.”
“And what? Continue being someone you’re not?”
Jeongguk goes silent.
“You deserve to be you. Yeah, it’s going to be hard—fucking hard, but I know you can get through this. Besides,” Jimin’s tone softens. “you have me. Not as your publicist or lover, but as a partner. Rely on me a little.”
“I am relying on you.”
“Rely on me more.” Jimin doesn’t hesitate to reply. “You just came out to the entire country—the world—I know it’s getting to you. I know you, Jeongguk. I can see it in your eyes and hear it in your voice.”
Jeongguk doesn’t argue against that, he can’t because it’s the truth. He knows Jimin understands him better than anyone else. There’s no hiding from him.
Jimin sighs in relief, “Good, okay…then don’t ever ask anything like that again.”
“Understood?” Jimin repeats.
Jeongguk laughs, shouting, “Understood, Mr. Park!”
And just like that, a month passes. Within that month some of Jeongguk’s biggest fansites close. A few others show their support for him by changing their profile photo to a rainbow and trending hashtags of support. XS Ent does their best to filter and sue the defamers, but it’s not like Jeongguk doesn’t see the hate. It’s there—the disgust and discrimination, but he gets through it because of the people around him.
Another month blurs by and the hate begins to die out and with it comes a new wave of fans. Fans that support him no matter how he identifies and Jeongguk’s able to perform again in front of a smaller audience. He also finds inspiration for his next album and throughout all this is Jimin. His other half, his ‘you are me, I am you’, his partner in crime.
“So,” Namjoon hesitantly begins as they sit in the studio. “you aren’t dating?”
Jeongguk nods, preoccupied with the buttons on the music panel. They’re in the studio to begin recording for Jeongguk’s next album. Jeongguk’s asked to make this album more personal than his last ones. He wants to convey his coming out story and how it felt hiding himself all this time.
“You want to date him though…right?”
“Of course, I do!” Jeongguk exclaims. “But we decided a few months ago to take a break…just until we sort ourselves out.” he squints at Namjoon. “I thought I told you all this, hyung.”
“You did, I’m just going over it again.”
Jeongguk scoffs, swiveling in the desk chair and spinning for a moment. “It sounds complicated, but it isn’t, not really.”
“Do you…kiss or I don’t know, sleep together? At all?”
Jeongguk stops spinning, “Nope, but I would love to.”
After that night, they agreed to keep the skin ship to a minimum. They talked about it as Jeongguk drove Jimin home, setting boundaries.
“Must be hard.” Namjoon murmurs, thinking about his relationship with Seokjin.
“Mm, not at all because I know at the end of all this, he’s waiting for me.”
Namjoon studies Jeongguk’s tender expression and he’s happy to see Jeongguk at ease like this. “When do you think you’ll both be ready to make it official?”
Jeongguk ponders a moment and says confidently, “Soon. Very soon.”
‘Soon’ comes around a month later when Jeongguk goes on break and Jimin invites him to take a trip to Busan. They’re sitting in Jeongguk’s living room with a box of pizza between them when Jimin poses the question:
“Want to come to Busan with me?”
Jeongguk chokes on his corn pizza, coughing into his hand and looking wide-eyed at Jimin.
Jimin silently reaches over to wipe the corner of Jeongguk’s mouth with his thumb. “Careful, sweetheart.”
Jeongguk manages to catch his breath, hitting his chest a couple times before asking, “Wh-why?”
Jimin shrugs, “You’re on break, I’m on break and I told my mom I planned on visiting.”
“We’re going to see your mom!?” Jeongguk shouts.
Jimin laughs, “Yes, we are.”
We. Us. Our--Jimin likes how that sounds.
Jeongguk goes silent and Jimin studies his expression, grinning when he notices Jeongguk’s bouncing leg. “You’re freaking out on me.”
“No, I’m not.” Jeongguk murmurs.
Jimin scoots closer to him and takes Jeongguk’s hand in his. “I want you to meet her, but not if it scares you.”
Jeongguk stares down at their intertwined hands. Seeing Jimin’s mom means learning more about him. His childhood, where he grew up, his deceased father. Going to Busan is a big step in their relationship, at least that’s how Jeongguk views it. “It doesn’t scare me, I’m just—what should I get her?”
Jimin breaks into a smile, finding Jeongguk’s actions endearing. “Nothing, she appreciates someone who’s willing to help.”
Jeongguk nods eagerly, “I can help out around the restaurant while we’re there.”
Jimin laughs lightly.
“It’ll probably be busy since the holidays are coming up,” Jeongguk rambles. “I can hang up posters, clean, wait tables.”
“I can also run errands for her. I hear the snow’s going to be pretty heavy this yea—”
Jimin shushes him with a deep kiss, melting his worries with their natural intimacy. They haven’t kissed in a while, but it comes as naturally as the first time. He leans back, gazing into Jeongguk’s eyes. “She’s going to love you.”
Jeongguk immediately relaxes, cast under the spell Jimin has over him and he gets that look in his eyes. The one that’s reserved for Jimin. “If you say so.”
Jimin kisses him again, “I know so.”
Their conversation shifts to how they’re going to get to Busan and Jeongguk makes a joke about the movie ‘Train to Busan.’ Jimin doesn’t find it funny because the mere thought of losing Jeongguk to zombies makes him sick.
“You’re really on vacation?” Jeongguk asks once they’ve finished their zombie discussion.
“Yep, Seokjin was kind enough to give me a month off.” Jimin answers, leaving out the part where he threatened to cut off Seokjin’s hand if he said otherwise. “I’m keeping my notifications off the entire time; you should do the same.”
“Are you telling me as my publicist?”
Jimin rolls his eyes, “No,”
“Then you’re telling me as…?” Jeongguk remains close, expression reminiscent of an eager puppy.
“You know.” Jimin grumbles shyly.
“Do I really?”
Jimin shoves him in the chest, “I’m not giving you the satisfaction.”
Jeongguk makes a sound in the back of his throat as he watches Jimin rise to his feet. “Come on. Is the B-word that hard to say?”
“Not at all.”
Jeongguk reaches for Jimin’s wrist and gently holds it, “Then say it.”
“You say it.” Jimin childishly replies.
Jeongguk chuckles because Jimin’s adorable. “I love it when you get like this.”
Jimin yanks his hand out of Jeongguk’s hold and bends down to gather the pizza boxes “We should start looking for a place to stay.” He says, changing the topic.
“Why? I thought we were staying with your mother?”
Jimin freezes and eyes Jeongguk, and Jeongguk’s jaw drops slowly when he realizes just what it means for them to book their own place.
“Oh,” Jeongguk laughs nervously. “that’s why.”
Jimin says nothing further and Jeongguk gets up to help him finish cleaning and tries not to think about spending several nights with Jimin in a different city. Ultimately, he fails.
A week later when they leave for Busan, snow falls from the sky and it’s extremely cold, but Jeongguk likes the cold. It gives him more chances to hold Jimin. They stand huddled together, awaiting the train. They spent the morning doing some last-minute packing and messaging their friends to tell them they’ll be off the grid for a month or so. Translation: leave us the fuck alone because we’re on our unofficial honeymoon.
The train headed to Busan screeches to a stop in front of them and Jimin grimaces, clutching onto Jeongguk’s hand a bit tighter. Jeongguk leans into him, ears red and eyes glazed as he thinks about meeting Jimin’s mother. He spent the entire week before thinking about how he should greet her. He even did a couple practices in front of Eunwoo who he cast as Jimin's mom.
“Will your mom like me?” he asks suddenly.
Jimin turns to face him and laughs upon seeing Jeongguk’s distraught expression. “I told you, she'll adore you.” He rests a hand against Jeongguk’s face. “You're like a puppy, she loves puppies.”
Jimin muffles a laugh, “No, she likes cats more. I think she has a cat named Louis.”
Jeongguk’s expression immediately falls into a pout and he looks so adorable.
Jimin pinches his cheeks, “I’m just joking, sweetheart.”
But Jeongguk can’t seem to calm down as he thinks about properly greeting Jimin’s mother, doing it right and not messing it up. He really wants her respect and, in some sense, her blessing because he’s decided that he wants to spend a lifetime with Jimin.
“I’m still nervous as fuck.” Jeongguk grumbles.
Jimin releases his hold on Jeongguk’s hand and cups his face, bringing him close. “Don’t be.”
“Nearly impossible, gorgeous.” Jeongguk mutters without looking Jimin in the eye.
“Look at me.” Jimin urges.
Jeongguk does so reluctantly, lips pulled tight. Jimin smiles and kisses him briefly. “She’ll like you because I like you and she knows I only choose the best.” he teases.
“Are you being for real?”
Jimin nods, squishing Jeongguk’s cheeks. “Yes, now put your sunglasses back on…people are staring.”
Jeongguk does as he’s told, slipping his dark sunglasses over his eyes and tugging his hoodie over his head.
“Much better.” Jimin intertwines their fingers and beams up at Jeongguk. “Let’s go.”
They haven’t verbalized or labeled what they are because they no longer feel the need to do so and to others, it’s quite obvious to see what they mean to each other. If Jimin’s mother is to ask, Jimin will explain that there’s no one else he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Jeongguk has helped him heal and grow, and Jimin's become someone who's no longer shackled by his past traumas.
When they load onto the train, they drag their bags behind them, bowing to a few other passengers on the way. If they recognize Jeongguk, they don’t say anything and Jeongguk appreciates it. Ever since his coming out, his face has been plastered everywhere and he’s had to readjust to his new life labeled as a “gay idol.” It hasn’t been easy and Jeongguk’s gone through several slumps. The joy and optimism come in waves.
They walk to the far end of the train where Jeongguk reserved a private booth. After tucking their bags away, they plop into the leather seats, taking a moment to catch their breath. Jeongguk shrugs off his coat and reaches over to help Jimin out of his.
“Thanks,” Jimin murmurs, leaning over to steal a kiss. When he tries to pull away , Jeongguk holds him by his nape, deepening the kiss. Jeongguk’s hungry for more; can’t wait to make love to Jimin again.
“You ever had sex on a train?” Jeongguk asks breathlessly, tracing Jimin’s lips with his tongue.
Jimin makes a face, “No and I don't plan on it.”
“Baby, we should try it on the way back.” Jeongguk says lowly as he kisses Jimin again. “I can rock my hips in tempo to the train moving.”
Jimin’s expression sours, “You're absolutely insane.”
Jeongguk grins, “You love it.”—and you love me.
Jimin doesn’t hesitate to answer, “That I do.” and with a smile he realizes some beasts are better left untamed.
As Jimin said in the beginning: his job has never been to change people. Since day one he couldn’t “tame” Jeongguk, that was something Jeongguk had to do for himself. And it could also be said that Jimin couldn’t tame him because he wasn’t a beast in the first place : )
I really wanted to portray the difference in having sex and “making love” and how it applies to Jimin and Jeongguk. The meaning and importance. So, I hope that came across in the two sex scenes.
AAAAAAH, I’m going to miss them and part of me yearns to see what else is in store for them since this is only the beginning, but I love writing endings like this ^^
p.s. I hope the day comes when idols are able to freely express themselves.
-with love, won