"Stop it, P'. Someone might see us." Saint whispered.
Though Saint is continuously saying stop, his hearts screams otherwise. He want this. He need this. He want this moment with Perth last longer. All he wanted was to be held by Perth tighter and never let him go. Perth giggles through his skin that makes his heart beat fast. He smiled, eyes closed, nurturing and seems to be memorizing how it feels to be this close to Perth.
"I love you na. I love you the most. I will love you as long as I breathe" Perth whispered in his ears then proceeded to plant a sweet kiss on his lips. The sweet kiss became more aggressive when Saint opened his mouth, longing for Perths'. Perth held into Saint's hand while still kissing him passionately on the mouth, then planting small kisses on Saints' face. Their moment was interrupted when they heard footsteps from the outside. Both of them got up and distanced themselves from each other and tidy their clothes.
"Saint, be ready in a minute. The interview will start and you will soon meet your partner. And please, wipe your lips and put some powder before going out" Saints' manager said after barging in the door. He stared at Perth and gave him that disgusting look before finally going out of the room.
"P', don't mind him na. Sorry for his attitude, maybe he's a little stressed about the project. I'll get ready now" Saint said, as he walk closely to Perth and squish his cheeks.
"You look really cute na. I love you" Saint added then snatch a kiss from Perth then left him in the room.
Saint calmly closed the door leaving Perth behind. Perth was smiling throughout the moment he was with Saint but as Saint turned his back, all his worries resurface. It was chaotic inside his head, His heart and his brain doesn't seem to get along well. His heart was pure. His heart was clear. All his heart want is to be with Saint, hold Saints' hand, make Saint happy, everything that involves Saint. But his brain tells him to put Saints' career first before anything else. He doesn't want to be selfish, He truly cares for Saint and he indeed loves him. He was lost in his own thoughts and tears from his eyes are dripping down, without him knowing. He snapped back into reality when his phone vibrated from his pocket.
It was mark who is calling. He answered the phone and realized that he missed another practice of their band.
“Where the hell are you? You missed our rehearsal again. You know it’s hard to be in a four man band and you still misses our rehearsals. Are you with Saint again? I’ll surely talk to Saint about this matter. It’s the third time you did this. I can’t let it slide. I can’t even come up with another reason to tell our manager” Mark whines through the phone.
“Okay, okay. I’ll go there now” Perth let out a big sigh then went his way to the studio to rehearse.
The studio was unusual that day when Perth went in. Everyone is panicking each staff seems to be too busy with their cellphones with an unusual frown in their faces. Perth just stood there, confused as to what is really happening. Mark noticed his presence and hurried to him.
“We have been calling you hundreds of times now. You’ve taken like forever to get here.” Mark told him still catching his breathe. Perth still has his confused look on his face.
“You haven’t checked your phone yet, haven’t you? Go check it now”
Perth searched for his phone in his bag and take it. He opened it and saw a hundred of missed calls from his manager, mark and the rest of the staff. He first clicked the link mark sent him and was clearly dumbfounded when he saw a picture of him and another man kissing. The picture isn’t clear but his face was clearly shown. He knew very well that saint was the guy in the picture which was taken a long time ago. It was posted anonymously and a lot of ZeeSaint admirers were hating him claiming It was Saint in the picture and that he is trying to seduce him and break the on screen couple. An article was also published along with that picture saying how Perth ditches the band rehearsal just to be with that guy in the picture. Many of their fans turns to hate him for ignoring the band for his own love. Perth is again lost in his thoughts. This issue would cause a big commotion especially with Saints’ career. He has lost all his words and just ran off the studio, not knowing where to go.
He got on his car and drove as fast as he can disregarding that his sight was blurry with all the tears flowing from his eyes. He pulled off his car for a second and grabbed his phone and dialed Saints’ number.
“I love you okay. I will always love you. Remember that. Please wait for me, my one and only” Perth uttered as soon as Saint picked up the phone and hanging it up not waiting for Saints’ answer.
Saint was confused with the call. He was in the middle of the shoot and didn’t know what happened and why did Perth sounded so weird and melancholic. Right after his shoot and when he is about to go back to his home, Press people blocked him and asked him questions which appalled him.
“Saint, is it you in the picture?” “Are you in a relationship with Perth?” “Is Perth being the third party?” “Is it true that you have been in a relationship with him for years now?”
Saints’ manager brushed off the press people to make way for Saint. As soon as they got away from the reporters and made sure that they are safe to talk, Saints’ manager started to talk.
“We should make a statement. Clear it all, tell everyone that you and Zee are in good terms. Don’t mind all those comments from people. I saw the social media just now and everyone is sympathizing with you and zee. It’s also good for your series. I’ll schedule an interview. Be ready.” He uttered.
Saint was not listening, only thinking how would Perth feel right now. He tried to call Perth again but he is unreachable now. All he can think of right now is the meaning of the call he just received from Perth. When he got home, he still tried to call Perth but is still unreachable.
A month has passed now. Saint was so devastated. He couldn’t get a hold of Perth. He is missing him badly. All he need is his world back. He stared blankly at the ceiling, reminiscing every moment he had with Perth.
“I wanna hold hands with you, but that's all I wanna do right now. And I wanna get close to you” Saint lowly hummed along with Troye’s talk me down with his tears slowly falling down. His heart is heavy that he can’t even think of anything. Saying he is in pain would be an understatement. He suddenly felt like an outcast who doesn’t belong in any world.
“I’m wasting my time when it was always you, Always you” Perth hummed while playing the guitar sating at the bracelet given to him by Saint. It’s hurting him. Deciding to walk away, leaving everything behind. Taking all the problems by himself. He has been all by himself since that day. He has seen the issue cool down because of the interview that Saint did. He has seen the success of Saints’ career and seen how glowing and happy Saint is with Zee in the guesting, and numerous interview. Seeing Saint smile makes him think that he did the right thing but seeing himself crying everyday and longing to touch Saint badly makes him think otherwise. That day, when the issue surfaced, Saints’ manager contacted him and told him to stay away from Saint for a while and he will be the one to clean the mess. Perth thought of it thoroughly. And now, he was wrecked. Saint was his sunshine, now it seems that moon is revolving around him but not giving him any light. He was in complete darkness, chained by his memories with him.
“Are you still waiting for me? Or are you contented with him already? I still love you. I’ll come to you” Perth told himself then curled himself hugging the bracelet.
Perth was ready to meet him, at last. He build up his courage to meet him. He knew very well where to find him. Perth went straight to Saints’ condo carrying a gift box in his hand and the spare key that Saint gave him. When he has finally arrived right in front of his door, he knocked and wait for someone to open the door. He didn’t use the spare key to the room because he is too nervous to do so. Minutes had passed and no one comes to open the door so he decided to wait there until Saint comes home. Perth hid when he heard footsteps and Saints’ voice coming.
“You don’t really have to walk me til’ here P’. But thank you for today. I really enjoyed your company. Here’s my apartment na. Go back safely.” Saint told Zee as he reached for the door knob.
Perth heard it all. It was unexpectedly more painful than the one he sees in screen. He stood there, dumbfounded, teary-eyed. He let out a big sigh and gather all his courage and walk in front of the door. Let out a big sigh anew then knocked at the door.
Saint just closed the door and take off his polo and went straight to the bed, letting out a big sigh feeling again how heavy his heart is. Saint was bemused when someone knocked in his door. Who could be knocking at his door at this hour? He thought to himself. He lazily got up and went to the door. His eyes grew wider seeing the person standing in front of him. Saint was completely perplexed with the usual smell of the cologne he has been longing to smell for a long time now. Tears were forming in his tear ducts but he hid it very well gesturing for the person to come in.
Saint doesn’t know how to react nor how does he feel right now. All that he can think of is how badly he wanted to hug the person standing beside him right now.
“I’ve missed you too much” Perth suddenly uttered, his voice cracking and he looks like he is about to cry. Perth reached for Saints’ hand and squeezed it lightly.
“Your hand is still as soft as ever, just like your cheeks.” Perth said with a smile on his face then placed his hands on Saints’ cheeks.
“Your hair still looks the same. Suits your cute face very well. Oh how I missed your scent. I long for you everyday. I long for your tight hugs every night. I long for your hands every single time. I wanted to spend all of my time around you. All I wanted is you. I’m shattering and it’s my mistake.” Perth said now in his knees, crying nonstop.
Saint couldn’t take seeing Perth being like this. He was crying too. Saint just couldn’t help all his feelings. He has been longing for Perth to say those words in front of him. Saint go down on his knees to face Perth and hug him. He hugged him so tight like he is telling him how much he is feeling the same as Perth. He hugged him so tight like he is conveying how much he loved him.
“I am so happy seeing you smiling around him. At least, I know you are being taken care of, unlike what I did. You are the greatest thing for me. You are the most precious treasure that has given to me. Precious stones should be taken care of nicely. I want you to be the best actor the world has ever seen. I want to see your picture in every billboard I get to see. You’ll only get to experience those, If I would…. S-tay away from you” Saints’ eyes grew wide as Perth uttered the last words. His eyes automatically shed tears and hugged him even tighter.
“Do you know how devastated I am when you went away? If being famous means being away from you, then I don’t want it anymore. I want you and you alone. I have suffered too much. You’re all I need. To heal completely. You are shattered, I am too. We can fix each other and mend each others broken pieces, why do you have to walk away? I- I love you too much, please don’t do this.” Saint lwas literally begging and crying his eyes out. Perth suddenly held his cheeks then kissed him, passionately. The kiss was sweet as they are both crying, both of their cheeks was wet. The kiss was full of love, it wasn’t like the usual kiss they share. It was full of emotion. They both don’t want to let each other go. They kiss between their sobs. Finally they stop and stayed close to each other for a while.
“I love you. I will always will” Perth said, then left the box consisting of a bracelet he made himself looking so much like the one Saint gave him and left the condo, shutting the door behind.
“My one and only”