Beam panted as he rolled off of Kit and stared up at the ceiling. Kit had his forearm over his eyes when Beam glanced over. “So. That was…”
“Yeah,” Kit said, moving his arm to lay behind his head. “That was… something.”
Beam nodded. “I don’t mean that you were bad, that just was… yeah, something.”
Kit snorted. “You were.” Beam looked at him with an offended eyebrow raise. “Beam, that wasn’t good at all,” he said bluntly.
Beam rolled his eyes. “Well I’ve never had sex with a man, sorry for not doing a good job.”
Kit bit his lip. “I’m gonna be honest. I only got off because I thought about Ming,” he confessed.
Beam snorted. “Oh God, I totally thought about how much better it was when Forth fucked me.”
Kit turned quickly, eyes wide. “You had sex with Forth?! You just said you’ve never had sex with a man!”
“I haven’t topped a man,” Beam clarified. “Forth and I got drunk and I told him I thought I had feelings for you and I was lonely and confused so I asked him to have sex with me to see if I like men.” He scrunched his nose. “I think I like men but was very, very wrong about liking you. I mean you’re cute and all but I think I was just lonely since you were always playing cat and mouse with Ming and Pha got a boyfriend.”
Kit groaned, putting a hand over his eyes. “I don’t want to like him. He’s annoying and a cocky bastard and such a fucking pushy little jerk.”
Beam snickered. “But?”
Kit sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “But he’s actually really sweet and he seems to really want to be good to me and seems to really care for me and I just- I can’t help it. He’s handsome and patient and a good person. He doesn’t give up on me when I draw away.” He rolled his eyes. “God, I’m going to have to tell him I lost my virginity to someone else when I knew he was pursuing me.”
Beam whined. “Oh God, I’m going to have to tell Forth I fucked you after asking him to fuck me and then ghosting him for it. He’s going to be so hurt. The morning after, I ran out before he woke up and he came straight to my room all upset because I wanted to just forget it and he doesn’t do one-night stands.”
“Be honest,” Kit said. “Do you like him or did you just like sex with him?”
Beam groaned. “I like him. I’m just not sure about dating him. I don’t do relationships and he doesn’t do casual. We had sex while drunk and suddenly he’s everywhere I go, constantly following me around and messaging me pictures of all the good times we’ve had as friends. He’s so… simple.” He snorted. “He thinks that since we get along really well and are good friends and are sexually compatible, that’s all he needs to date me.”
Kit rolled his eyes. “I wish I wasn’t an anxious ball of nerves and could just say, ‘I’m attracted to you, let’s give it a shot’.” He sat bolt upright. “Oh God.” He looked at Beam with panicked eyes. “Wayo can never find out about tonight.”
Beam burst out laughing. “Oh no. I’ve seen his temper and you slept with another man when his best friend is after you.”
Kit fell back. “Oh my God he would rip my hair out.” He groaned. “And it wasn’t even good sex. Totally not worth Wayo beating my ass over.”
“Feeling the love, buddy,” Beam said sarcastically. He hummed. “Maybe I am a bottom then. Because when Forth fucked me, it was incredible. Although I regretted how bad my ass hurt afterwards.”
Kit raised an eyebrow. “How rough did you two go at it? Because it didn’t really hurt just now. It just didn’t do anything for me.”
Beam groaned. “We were so drunk we figured just a lubricated condom we found in Laem’s room was good enough and we didn’t have lube. I guess I was so into it and drunk enough that the pain wasn’t nearly as much as the pleasure at the time, but the next day I couldn’t sit without being in pain.”
“Well no shit, stupid,” Kit said bluntly. “Assholes don’t self-lubricate like vaginas do you dumbass.” They lay in silence for a little while before Kit spoke up. “This isn’t going to make things weird, right? Between us?”
“Nah,” Beam said. “We’re clearly on the same page about definitely figuring out neither of us ever want to do this again. And we’re best friends. We’ve been through too much to let this screw that up.”
Kit smiled. “True.” He sat up and shuffled out of bed. “I’m going to go home, bleach my eyeballs after seeing your orgasm face, and then call that Ox of a nong and confess I did a bad thing but I think I want to work things out with him.”
Beam nodded. “Just make sure he knows not to tell Yo if you want to survive.”
“God, yes,” Kit said, grabbing his shorts to pull on as he got out of bed.
Beam waited until Kit was gone and sighed, looking up at the ceiling as he tried to decide what he wanted to do about Forth after these realizations.
Kit looked at his phone and sighed. He had showered and sat now with a towel around his shoulders, trying to decide if ten at night was too late. He ended up giving it a go and called Ming. If he answered, he would talk to him. If not, he would wait. He wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not when Ming answered.
“P’Kit-Kat!” Ming sounded so excited. “You called! How are you? Did you eat dinner? Did you do your homework? Are you at home? Did you need something?”
Kit’s heart sank when he heard how eager Ming was to learn about his day after all the times he froze him out. “Ming… I need to talk to you. I did something bad. Do you- do you want to talk over the phone or come over?”
“I’ll be right over, P’Kit!” Ming said. “See you soon!”
Kit smiled sadly. “Yeah. See you, Ming.”
Ming didn’t live far away so he had just enough time to get dressed and dry his hair before the knock came. When he let Ming in, Ming beamed. “Hi, P’Kit! I’m so happy you invited me over!”
Kit took his wrist, and Ming looked at his hand in awe. “Come sit down, Ming.” He led him to the bed and sat beside him, unable to look at him. “Ming. I have to talk to you.”
Ming’s breath hitched. “Oh. It’s not a good talk, is it?”
Kit shook his head and looked at him. “Ming, before I confess, I want you to know something.” He cautiously laced their fingers together. “I do like you. I realized it tonight because of the bad thing I did.”
Ming frowned. “P’Kit, what’s wrong? Are you alright?”
Kit looked him in the eyes, knowing he deserved whatever reacting Ming gave him. “Ming… I had sex with someone else.”
Ming’s eyes widened and he pouted. “But… you said you like me?” he asked in a meek voice. “Why would you do that? I broke up with someone when I realized I like you. I don’t even flirt with other people than you.”
“I know,” Kit said weakly. “I was confused. I- I come from a conservative family. I didn’t want to like you because you’re a boy and my family won’t ever approve. So I- I decided to see if I like men.” He hung his head. “I slept with Beam.”
“P’Beam? He- he really likes you? I thought you were tricking me?” Ming asked, sounding upset. “Are you with him instead of me?”
“No,” Kit said, smiling bitterly. “Turns out I really, really don’t like him and he doesn’t like me.” He looked at Ming. “The sex was terrible. Really, really bad.”
Ming suddenly puffed up. “Did he hurt you?! I’ll kill him-“
“Ming, no,” Kit said, squeezing his hand. “He didn’t hurt me. I just felt… nothing.” He snorted. “The only reason I could even get off is because I closed my eyes and imagined it was you and how much better you would be.”
Ming smiled suddenly. “You thought about me during sex and think I’d be better?” he asked eagerly. It really stunned Kit how the mildest praise made Ming so happy.
Kit nodded. “He said he was thinking about another man, too. He was just like me, he had sex with a guy and didn’t want to think about liking him, so we just… did it. To see if it was liking sex or liking you and him.” He sighed. “I like men. He likes men and women he decided, but I think I don’t like women.” He blushed. “It was- that was my first time. Ever.”
Ming hummed. “Well at least it was with someone you trust. I was Yo’s first kiss because he didn’t want to go to university having never kissed a boy. It was gross but at least it wasn’t with a stranger that would take advantage.”
“Oh yeah, about that.” Kit looked at him seriously. “Wayo can never know I had sex with someone else while you were after me. He would kill me. Even Phana is scared of an angry Yo and he’s so much bigger than I am.”
Ming snickered. “Yo has a temper, that’s for sure. Normally he’s very sweet and shy, but it jumps out sometimes. A girl cheated on me in high school, and he slapped her in front of the entire cafeteria.”
“Exactly,” Kit said seriously. He saw Ming looking at their hands and he squeezed. “Ming? I’m sorry,” he all but whispered. “I shouldn’t have slept with Beam when I knew you like me and was just in denial. That was wrong of me.”
Ming pouted. “Well. We’re not dating. So… it’s not cheating. I can’t say anything when I’ve been with a lot of people before.” He looked at Kit. “I’m hurt but I don’t have any right to be. So it’s okay.”
Kit shook his head. “You do have a right to be. You have feelings for me and instead of dealing with it, I slept with someone I didn’t have any feelings for just out of desperation to try and prove I’m not gay. You’re handing this way better than the guy Beam likes is going to. He’s going to be devastated. Probably cry. Yell. Might even sulk for a good long time.”
Ming chuckled. “That sounds like something P’Forth would do. I saw him cry when one of his seniors scolded him in front of us first years. He tried to hide it, but when the senior left, he went off behind a post and cried.” Kit blushed and looked away and Ming gasped. “No way. P’Forth?!”
Kit groaned. “Don’t mention it to anybody because I’m not sure what Beam is going to do about him, but yes. They got drunk and hooked up and Beam wanted to just forget about it and Forth showed up at his room apparently nearly in tears, ranting about how he doesn’t do one-night stands and couldn’t believe Beam would run out on him before he even woke up when they’re close friends.”
“Yeah, that would hurt,” Ming confessed. “I would never, but if I got drunk and hooked up with Yo and then he ran away and tried to avoid me, it would break my heart.”
Kit smiled. “Because just like Forth, I am realizing that you’re actually a really sweet, big-hearted man under that handsome, cocky exterior. You are sweet, Ming. I’m sorry for taking advantage and pushing you away every time you did something nice for me.”
“P’Kit?” Kit hummed. “Will you go on a date with me?” He looked so nervous that Kit’s heart ached a little bit. “I know you’re still not sure about me, so I’m not asking for you to be my boyfriend. But will you let me take you to dinner and let’s just get to know each other, better?”
Kit smiled and nodded. “Sure.” He looked around and blushed. “I know you may not want to since I just had sex with someone but do you maybe want to stay here with me tonight? Not for anything like that, you’ll stick to your side of the bed and me to mine, but maybe we can talk some more?”
Ming lit up like a firework show. “Yes! I would love to, Phi!” He looked down at their hands. “Can we still hold hands if we stay on our sides of the bed?” he asked, looking so hopeful.
God, Ming really was too adorable. Kit wasn’t sure why he ran for so long. “Yes,” he said, giggling when Ming threw his other hand up and yelled ‘yay!’ at him.
“Beam! Beam!” Beam groaned as he stopped walking, hearing the footfalls of Forth running after him. “Beam, are you ever going to stop ignoring me?” Forth asked when he caught him, grabbing his elbow.
Beam looked into his eyes and sighed. “Forth.”
“Beam, I’m serious.” Forth looked so desperate that Beam felt like shit. “I want to be with you,” he stressed. “Why won’t you at least talk to me?”
“I had sex with someone else last night,” Beam blurted out.
Forth’s eyes turned to those sad puppy eyes that Beam really hated because he looked so upset. “But… why? We made love two weeks ago? Why would you-“
“Forth, that was a drunk fuck, not making love,” Beam interrupted. “And you’re not my boyfriend, so it’s not like I’m not allowed to sleep with whoever I want!”
“But… I like you,” Forth said softly. “Beam, I want to be with you. I want to be your boyfriend. I’ve been trying so hard to get you to talk to me, and you go and sleep with someone else? What, are you so ashamed you slept with a man you had to go fuck some girl and get me out of your system?”
Beam rolled his eyes. “I had sex with a man, so no.” Forth looked even more upset. “I wasn’t sure if I like men or if I was just lonely, drunk, and horny that night.”
“Do you know how much you hurt me if you really did it for just that reason?” Forth asked, swallowing visibly. “You’re one of my closest friends and you just… used me? Was I just conveniently there?” he asked, voice shaking.
“Forth.” Beam bit his lip. “No. I didn’t use you. You weren’t just convenient. And you are one of my closest friends. I wouldn’t do that to you-“
“But that’s exactly what you did!” Forth argued desperately. “You initiated it. You asked me to have sex with you. You didn’t mean to even stick around in the morning to wake up with me. You-“
“I was in the heat of the moment, Forth,” Beam countered. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” he added. “But I’m just not sure about dating you.”
Forth’s eyes glistened and Beam felt so bad. “So you just hopped into bed with a random guy to get more of what you used me for, huh? Is that how it is? Do you feel nothing for me?”
“I slept with Kit, not some random guy,” Beam said bluntly. Forth looked like he’d hit him.
“So… you really are in love with him?” he asked weakly. “That’s it then? I was just an experiment to test your feelings?” He sniffled and wiped at his eyes and Beam’s heart shattered. “Goddamn it. Why does every man I fall for end up being in love with someone else?”
Beam shook his head. “Forth, I don’t have feelings for him.” Forth looked at him skeptically. “The sex was terrible. I thought about you and that’s all that kept me hard,” he said, and Forth’s eyes widened. “And he doesn’t like me, either. He said the sex was so bad he only got off because he was thinking about Ming.” He grabbed Forth’s hand. “He likes Ming. And I do like you. I have feelings for you. I just- I don’t want to risk fucking up our friendship.”
“But you didn’t worry about fucking up yours with Kit by sleeping with him?” Forth asked and Beam shook his head.
“We were on the same page and talked it out after. We felt nothing the whole time. When you and I had sex, it was the best sex I’ve ever had,” Beam confessed and Forth smiled sadly.
“Then why don’t you want to give it a shot?” he asked, voice nearly a whisper. “Beam, I care about you. So much. I felt more for you when we made love than I have for any man before.” Beam smiled faintly. “I want to be your boyfriend. I want you to date me. If it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work. Do you think we would have such a terrible breakup we couldn’t stay friends?”
Beam sighed. “Not really, but if I break your heart, I’ll never forgive myself.”
“Too late.” Beam’s eyes burned as he saw the pain in Forth’s eyes. “You broke my heart the moment I woke up alone in Laem’s bed.”
“Oh Forth,” Beam whispered, then stepped into his arms. Forth seemed confused, but Beam hugged him tightly, laying his head on his big, strong shoulder. “I’m so sorry.”
Forth slightly tightened his arms around him and Beam melted into the embrace. “Please, Beam. Please let me at least try to make you happy. I just want to love you. Can you please let me try?”
The tears Beam felt hitting his neck were what finally broke him. He pulled back and looked at Forth and he was crying for real this time. They were dripping down his face. Beam reached up and cupped his cheeks, swiping them away with his thumbs. “You better mean it, Forth,” he whispered, then leaned in and pressed his lips to Forth’s, tasting the salt from his tears on them instantly.
Forth gasped, but pulled him closer, kissing him back with passion. Beam smiled into the kiss because, yeah, kissing Forth felt like no kiss he’d had before. “So you’ll date me?” Forth asked, pulling back so their foreheads were pressed together. “You’ll be my boyfriend? My baby? You’ll let me hold you and care for you and take you on dates and-“
“Shhhh,” Beam said, smiling. “Yes, Forth. I’ll be your baby.”
Forth’s smile was blinding. “Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!” He hugged Beam hard and giggled into his shoulder. He suddenly pulled back, looking at Beam seriously. “You’re not going to sleep with other people, right? I can’t do that. I’m a monogamous person.”
Beam rolled his eyes. “I’ve never agreed to a relationship before, why would I get into one and sleep around on you?” He poked him in the side. “You’re gonna have to show me the ropes on how to be a boyfriend, but you don’t have to tell me it involves not sleeping with others.” He leaned in and whispered in his ear, “Besides, why would I go looking for sex somewhere else when you gave it to me so good I nearly blacked out from pleasure?”
Forth pulled back and gave him a teasing glare. “You can’t say things like that in public. You’ll make me get hard!” he hissed.
Beam smirked. “You really like me, huh?”
“Oh Baby, I will show you just how much if you want to hang out at mine tonight,” Forth flirted and Beam laughed.
“Now who is being dirty in public?” He pulled out of Forth’s arms and took his hand instead. “I’m going to meet the others for lunch. Want to come eat with your brand-new boyfriend?” he asked, and Fort beamed and nodded.
Pha looked up when Beam approached, holding Forth’s hand, and he blinked. “Wait, when did this become a thing?” he asked in surprise.
Yo beamed when he saw their joined hands. “Oh wow, P’Forth, you and P’Beam?” he asked. “I’m happy you found someone, too!”
“Yeah, Kitty agreed to go on a date with me!” Ming said brightly from where he sat beside Kit and Kit blushed but smiled.
“Damn, that was fast,” Forth said as he and Beam sat down. “Kitty, you go from sleeping with Beam last night to getting with Ming?”
Ming and Kit’s eyes flew wide in panic and Beam looked at Forth and shook his head fast, looking just as terrified. “Forth,” he hissed. “You really shouldn’t have said that in front of-“
“P’Kit did what?!” Pha looked at Yo fearfully and saw his eyes narrowing and his jaw clenching as he looked across the table at Kit.
“Yo,” Beam finished weakly.
Yo’s voice was dangerously full of venom. “You. You had sex with another man while Ming has been trying to date you for weeks? And then you called him to spend the night with you the very same night?!”
Kit looked terrified. “It’s not like that. It was- it was experimenting. To- to see how I really felt for Ming. I didn’t- and it’s not like I agreed to go on a date with Ming and then had sex-“
“Yo, it’s okay. He told me the whole truth,” Ming pleaded desperately. “He didn’t cheat on me-“
“I’ll kill you,” Yo said harshly and then Ming panicked.
“Run, P’Kit. RUN!” he said, shoving him off the bench and to his feet. Kit hesitated until Yo got up so fast he knocked over his glass of pink milk and Pha grabbed him with wide, panicked eyes. “RUN!” Ming repeated, going around the table to help Pha hang onto Yo, who was acting like a snarling cat ready to shred someone to ribbons.
Kit did what they said, and Forth looked alarmed. “Jesus, Yo, what the hell?”
“MINGKWAN HOW COULD YOU ASK OUT A MAN AFTER HE FUCKED AROUND BEHIND YOUR BACK AND THEN INVITED YOU OVER TO STAY THE NIGHT?!” Yo shouted. “DO YOU HAVE NO DIGNITY-“
“Yo, I love him, it’s not a big deal! He wouldn’t have agreed to date me if he hadn’t slept with Beam and the sex sucked-“
“SO BAD SEX IS ALL IT TAKES FOR HIM TO JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS AND YOU TRUST HIM?!”
“Yo, please stop! I promise, I won’t let him hurt me-“
“You said that about Joy in eleventh grade and I HAD TO SLAP HER IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY!”
“Yo, calm down, I swear. He would never sleep with someone else while dating me, it was just a one-time thing! He was a confused virgin, that’s all-“
Forth snorted. “Wait, really?” he asked Beam, who rolled his eyes at him. “Kit-Kat was a virgin before last night?”
“Forth, stop it,” Beam chastised.
Yo turned his ire to Beam. “You’re lucky you’re too big for me to beat the shit out of for doing that when you knew Ming was trying to get with him! You upset my best friend! My brother! I should have never trusted you or Kit with Ming’s heart!”
Phana pulled him down into his lap and held onto him until he stopped struggling. “Baby Yo, isn’t this a little extreme?”
Yo glared back at him. “You realize I love Ming more than you, right? That I would die for him? That I would kill for him? That I have bitch-slapped a cheating whore for him?”
Pha sighed. “But Kit didn’t cheat! Ming forgives him, why can’t you?”
“Because Ming is too kind and has too tender of a heart!” Yo argued. “He falls in love hard and fast. He pretends to be all cocky but he’s really not. P’Kit took advantage of that, so let me go so I can find him and rip his hair out!”
“Yo. Stop.” Ming’s voice was harder now. “I may be all of those things, but I’m not naïve. I love you and I know you’re only so angry because you love me. But I love him, too.” He shook his head. “You will not hurt him. I won’t let you put a finger on my Kit-Kat. End of story.”
Yo looked stunned. “But Ming, he-“
“He told me the truth immediately because he wants me to trust him,” Ming stressed. “He didn’t owe me commitment yet then. He just was confused. You know I’ve had hook-ups like that, too. I understand why he did it. Yes, it hurt me. But him telling me about it and trusting me to choose to leave him instead of ask him out means he’s not like any of those people who hurt me before.” He shook his head. “If you really love me as much as I love you, let it go.”
Yo sighed and deflated, pouting grumpily. “Fine. Whatever.” He crossed his arms and looked away. “But if he really does cheat on you-“
“You can rip his hair out, I know,” Ming said, rolling his eyes.
Forth whistled. “And I felt silly for crying when Beam told me he slept with someone else,” he said, and Yo looked at him in surprise.
“Awwww, you cried? Wow, I really wish I could beat him up for you,” he said, and Forth laughed.
“How are you so violent?” he asked, shaking his head. “Nah, though.” He looked at Beam, who smiled back at him. “He’s my baby. I couldn’t let anybody hurt him.”
“I’m glad I picked you,” Beam murmured, then leaned in to peck his cheek. “But I should probably go find wherever Kit’s hiding now,” he said, standing up.
Yo gave him a sarcastic smile. “Just don’t slip and fall on his dick, P’Beam.”
Beam snorted. “Phana, you better never piss him off,” he said and Pha looked at Yo like he had never seen him in his life before.
“I’m starting to realize my Baby Yo has a lot more to him than just being pretty and sweet,” he said, and Yo smiled at him.
“Don’t worry. I would never hurt your beautiful hair, P’Pha,” he said sweetly, sweeping it out of Pha’s eyes. “And you would never upset me enough to make me go ballistic like I just did. You’re the perfect boyfriend and I love you.” He kissed his cheek. “And besides, if you ever went insane and cheated on me, I wouldn’t need Ming or myself to kill you. The Angel Gang would kill you and hide your body.”
Pha looked mildly alarmed. “Uh. Good thing I would never do that, huh?”
“Yep!” Yo said sweetly, then shifted out of Pha’s lap and back onto his seat. He pouted at his spilled pink milk. “Now I need another drink.”
Pha snorted and stood up obediently. “I’ll go get you one.” He leaned down and kissed the top of Yo’s head and walked off.
Forth stared at Yo for a moment before nodding. “Yep. I’m really glad you didn’t agree to date me. I couldn’t handle you.”
“I know,” Yo said far too innocently for what they just saw of him.