Guo Changcheng has learned his lesson about leaving his diary around the office, well for the most part. He finds most of the SID are big fans of his backhanded compliments, even Chu will give a rarely earned nod of acknowledgement, Guo knows he brightens up like a full moon when Chu gives him praise, even only in the tiniest amounts. That’s why his truest, most private thoughts regarding the stoic puppet master can never see the light of day. Those words are kept securely, under his pillow at home on a much smaller leatherbound journal, it just fits into the palm of his hand.
His admiration and… perhaps desire, even though it turns him redder than Zhu Hong’s snake eyes, when he lets himself admit it, these emotions feel too big to be repressed so he spills it all out, late at night when his aunt and uncle are fast asleep.
I’m not quite sure how to articulate this because it feels so.. Obvious and apparent Lao-Chu…. Is cool.
Even writing it down makes me feel dumb. Maybe it’s his posture or the way he carries himself, there’s just such a degree of.. Confidence and calm he carries himself with. He never seems to be worried, just more annoyed than anything. I know a lot of the time it’s my fault, I’ve earned quite the verbal lashings for it. I feel I’ve gotten better, it might be arrogant of me to say such a thing, but I think Lao-Chu knows I have too. He’s not as quick to insult me, and sometimes… sometimes he even praises me. Soft touches, he looks at me with a glimmer of pride and I can’t help it… I feel so giddy. When I’m making progress and improving under Lao-Chu’s guidance I feel not only am I helping out and becoming slightly more useful to the SID, but I’m doing good by Lao-Chu. I know it’s greedy of me but I hope he continues to praise me. I want to make Lao-Chu proud of me. I want him to keep smiling.
Chu-ge came over and visited me and my Aunt and Uncle today. He’s made such an impression on them already. He’s happy they like him, so I’m happy too. Although I hate to admit I had another greedy thought of mine when he was helping my Aunt lifting some heavy boxes. His strong legs bent at the knees, his jeans drawing tight around the muscle, as did his singlet hug his back. As my gaze followed the strong muscles of his back to his well shaped and firm butt. It’s such a nice butt, I guess it’s an indication of how well Chu takes care of himself and trains. Even the thing he sits on is firm and in shape. Chu-ge isn't particularly focused on his appearance, he always wears the same clothes, but they look so good on him I cant really complain. My aunt caught me ogling Chu-Ge’s butt, ,she gave me a glance, a teasing smile, and I immediately understood she knew I was looking. It was mortifying! It’s my fault I, I shouldn't have been so blatant with my wanton gaze! Maybe I shouldn’t even be having these thoughts, Chu-ge’s my coworker, but I suppose I’m not the only person who has such a lusty gaze. I see the way Professor Shen gets visually undressed by Director Zhao.. Maybe my entire workplace is filled with perverts.
Those jeans of Chu-ge’s Strike again!!
I feel so dirty as I write this, perhaps it’s because I’ve been hanging around Lin Jing and his perverted mind.. But Chu-ge… is a man, in all aspects. What I mean to say is that well...Chu’s package is certainly large.
I’m not in the wrong, right? For looking? It’s always proudly there in his jeans. I feel like it’s always in my line of sight. I can’t be the only one who looks.
But it’s not like Chu-ge can help it of course. I just… forgive me for indulging my fantasies.. But I wonder if Chu-ge has ever had any lovers. I.. think he’d be a very touchy lover. But maybe that’s just wishful thinking. My mind is wandering now.. What if he were to touch me as a lover… run his big hands down my back, trail them to rest on my hips, pull me in tightly to his body, Press his.. Largeness to my body.. I swear I’d think I’d implode.
Guo throws the book back under his pillow, his whole body burning with the heat. A blush searing through his body, his own member starting to twitch at the thought of Chu against him feeling how strong and masculine he is. His slender fingers reach down to wrap around himself, beginning to indulge himself. He’ll finish quickly and pretend he isn’t thirsting over Chu-ge tomorrow morning at work. He’ll be fine. He can ignore his desire and indecent thoughts about his co-worker, right?