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Dreaming of Bangtan Sonyeondan

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As you step into the front hall, the chatter and clattering gets much louder. You slip off the slides and Jimin places house slippers in front of you. They are the right size. You look up at him and he had apparently taken the facemask off and smiles sweetly at you.

You follow him into the large kitchen space where Jin and Yoongi are both moving about, apparently cooking up some things. The TV is on and you can see Namjoon and Hobi are sitting on the couch. Jungkook joins them, immediately cuddling up with Hobi.

Jimin shows you into the kitchen. "What are you making, hyungs?"

Jin looks up from the stove with a smile. "Oh, just this and that."

"Smells good," you say softly. 

Yoongi looks up at you. "I hope you like Korean."

"Of course," you say, a little more loudly.

Yoongi gives you a small close-mouth smile. 

"Do you need water or something else to drink?" Jimin asks. "I'm not sure what we have."

He moves over to the fridge and opens it. You stand awkwardly, not sure if you're meant to keep following, but also not wanting to get in the way of the chefs. 

"We have water and beer, apparently," Jimin says into the fridge. "There might also be soju. Are we drinking tonight, everyone?"

When you don't respond, Jimin looks back over his shoulder at you. "What can I get you?"

You pull at the edges of the hoodie's sleeves with your finger tips. "Just water, please."

He grabs a bottle of water and brings it back over to you. He's looking at you a bit questioningly.

You hesitate, but finally stutter, "I- I could really use a shower maybe."

"Oh!" Jimin's face full of recognition. "Of course! You've been stuck in the back of van all day. Of course. Sorry, I should have thought of it first. Follow me."

He leads back down the hallway with all the doors, where you had slept after your anxiety attack in the guest room. Just beyond the door where the guest room had been, was another door that led to a small, clean bathroom.

"This is the guest bathroom. It should have everything you need," Jimin said as he pulled open the cabinet just to the right of the door to show you fresh towels. "Oh, one minute."

Jimin races off back out down the hallway, continuing on further down the hall. You gaze around the bathroom and walk over to check the shower for soaps and so on. 

After a minute, Jimin comes sliding back into the room holding some clothes in his hands. "These are not going to fit you well, if that hoodie you are wearing is any indication, but they are clean." 

He sets them down on the counter. He looks around one more time and then nods. "I think that's all? Anything else you need?"

You shake your head. 

"Okay," Jimin says as he backs out of the bathroom. "Take all the time you need."

With that, he closes the door on his way out.

You look at yourself in the mirror. "Ah, fuck me."

You are in pretty bad shape. Your hair is a mess and you are flushed. "At least there aren't drool stains on my face," you think. "Could be worse."

You start the water of the shower going and take off the hoodie, which you carefully fold and place on the counter. You peel off the rest of your clothes and step into the piping hot shower.

You relax into the warm water and try not to think too much about the fact that you're showering in the house of Bangtan. This is actually easier than you thought. The warm water feels like it's heating all the way to your bones. You even find yourself humming Serendipity as you rinse the shampoo out of your hair.

After you shower and feel completely fresh, you dry off and examine the clothes Jimin left you. Black basketball shorts and a grey tee-shirt. You put them on and find them not as gigantic on you as the hoodie. The shorts have a drawstring which is helpful in keeping them up around your waist. They come generously down to your knees. The hoodie must be oversized. You pause for a minute, one hand rubbing the fabric of the hoodie. After a few beats of hesitation, you decide to slip the hoodie back on. It was like a big soft, good smelling security blanket.

You take a look at yourself in the mirror again. You decide to put your damp hair up into a messy bun. "Almost human," you think to yourself.

As you walk back down the hallway towards the bustle in the kitchen and living room, you find yourself grinning a little bit. This is almost nice. A guest of BTS's. You can almost ignore your anxiety brain whispering, "Uninvited guest."

Dishes are all spread out on the large dining table towards the back of the kitchen area. All the members are hanging out on the couches watching something on the TV. 

You hover for a minute, not sure if you should interrupt. However, Yoongi must have seen you out of the corner of his eye, because he said, "Oh, good timing, Y/N. The food just finished."

With that everyone else stirred and got up to go sit at the table. They were all chattering happily and goofing around with each other. Your grin grew larger as you felt like you had actually been transported into an In the Soop episode. 

Jimin pulled out a chair and waved for you to sit. Everyone kept chattering and was serving up dishes as you took your seat. 

"Sorry to make you wait on me for dinner," you said.

"Please, don't apologize. The food really had just finished up and we don't mind waiting for everyone," Jin said with a warm smile.

You spent the next several minutes focusing on the amazing food you were eating. You hadn't eaten all day, you realized, and you were starving. You just listened to chaotic joking and chattering around you as you stuffed yourself full. You ate until you really couldn't fit anymore in.

"You seemed to like it," Hobi said with a laughing, watching you stiffly lean back in your chair.

"Yes, it was all so good, thank you for the food," you said sheepishly. "I'm sorry if I ate too much."

Several of the members all loudly protested at once. 

"Have you seen Jungkook eat?" Jimin said with laugh. "You can't out-eat him."

You laughed at this. The men continue to chat and eat. You contentedly zone out, too tired to process anymore of their antics in Korean. 

You jump a little, surprised when you find Jimin has leaned in close, invading your personal space a bit. Your eyes dart around the table to see if anyone else is paying attention, but they don't seem to be. Hobi and Jin have gotten up to start cleaning dishes. The others are still finishing up eating and still chattering wildly. You look back at Jimin who is looking at you expectantly.

"Sorry, did you say something?" you murmur.

"You seem sleepy," Jimin says to you. "You want to go to bed now?"

You're having trouble processing the Korean, but that was simple enough to manage. You feel your heart squeeze. This man can read your mind and you'd be alarmed if it wasn't so damn wonderful. "Yes, please, I'm so tired."

Jimin laughs softly, "You must be tired. You're speaking in English."

"Sorry," you mutter.

Without saying another word, Jimin grabs your elbow gently to help you up out of the chair. You hear Hobi shout your name from the kitchen sink. When you look up, he just smiles and waves. "Good night, Y/N!"

Everyone else also utters goodnights as Jimin, still with one hand cupping your elbow as if worried you're going to collapse, guides you back to the guest room.

"We kept your room for you, in case you came back," Jimin says, opening the door.

"Mmm," you manage. Your brain does take a minute to let "your room" float around a bit looking for a useful place to get stored.

Jimin helps you into the bed and tucks the blanket up around your chin with a playful smile. "Sleep well, Y/N."

Your eyes are already half-closed as you see him hesitating over you.


"Mm? Did you need something else?" Jimin snaps back to hover over you.

"Mm, just thank you, Jimin," you slur out. You don't even know if you're speaking in Korean or English anymore, but you want to get this out. "Thank you. I know I can't, but I wish I could stay with you for longer."

Jimin seems frozen over the top of you as you struggle to keep your eyes open enough to see what he does next. But you find you can't and your eyes are too heavy not to close.




You wake to light streaming over your face. You feel distinctly hung over. A feat, considering you haven't had a drop of alcohol in years. You open your eyes, blinking into the bright light. The scene before you is a familiar one. You are back at your apartment. Apparently you had traveled back in your sleep.

Tears immediately prick your eyes. You felt like there was too much unsaid. You didn't even get to tell the guys about how much you loved Permission to Dance. And Jimin. You closed your eyes remembering those last moments - fuzzy from exhaustion and sleep deprivation - but you are sure you had told him you wished you could stay with him. Had he heard you? Had he understood you? What if he had responded and you didn't know because you fell asleep?

Tears were slowly falling down your cheeks now. You looked around, helpless, at your lonely, deathly silent apartment. There was a gnawing in the pit of your stomach. You missed the chatter and the warm welcome. You didn't think you'd ever need that in your life again, and yet now that you had gotten a taste, you craved more.

"Oh, Jimin," you cried faintly. You looked down at the sweater paws created by his oversized hoodie, that you were still warmly encased in. That was when you made your resolution. You had no idea how you were going to do it, but you were going to find a way to stop this traveling. But stop so that you could be in the same time and place as Jimin and the other members of BTS. 

"Even if you manage to find a way to stop this traveling," came the familiar hiss from your anxious brain, "what makes you think the Bangtan boys would actually want you?"