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This love won't ever be convenient

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     Anxiety was a prevalent problem for Keith. He had anxiety about a lot of things. Things like school and life and even himself. Most of all who he was. School had proved itself to be an unsafe place for a boy like Keith. Along with church and the store and even his own neighborhood. At least it was unsafe when everyone knew his business. It wasn't safe when the grocery clerk handed his mom her bags with a passive aggressive smile saying "have a good day, ladies". It wasn't safe when his pastor started telling him to wear dresses to church instead of slacks with a deep frown. It wasn't safe when his friends who lived in his cul de sac started calling him a boy like it was a bad thing. Nothing was safe anymore. Nothing except for his mother.

     Keith Kogane was adopted. It was kinda obvious when his mother was five foot seven with blond hair and warm hazel eyes when he had pitch black locks and a cold navy stare. He looked more like his dad who was tanner, but shared his eye shape and hair. Still even though they looked similar Keith got along better with his mom. He would spend his days admiring her sunshine strands and warm skin that glowed compared to his. Her smile was always pleasant and her freckles made him envious. In his mind, he said he would never find another person so beautiful in his life.

     Sarah Kogane was an accepting and loving person. She wanted to help Keith with every step on the way to his happiness. That included getting his hair cut, buying him new clothes, and doing lots and lots of research. All of that as well as moving out of the state. That's how Keith found himself staring at his reflection absolutely filled with anxiety. He stared at his pale face and trailed down to his hoodie and jean clad body. It was the only thing he felt remotely comfortable in, so it's what he was wearing for his first day at his new school. He was going in to his senior year of high school, and it was only that summer his mother and father saved enough to move out of Michigan and over to the west coast. It was far away enough from his other problems and his old bullies that he could start over. A clean slate. His only hope was that he passed…

"Keith? Honey? Are you ready for school?"

     The soft sound of his mothers voice turned Keith's attention to his door. It was accompanied by gentle knocks as she entered his room. He tried to remain neutral, but his mother could always see his fear no matter how hard he hide it. She smiled and sighed as she looked at him.

"You look so handsome," she said. He raised a brow.

"Really, mom? I'm not in anything fancy," he replied. She chuckled a little and walked over to face the mirror with him.

"You may not be in a fancy suit, but you definitely look like one cool dude," she nodded and squeezed his shoulders from behind him.

"You think so?" He asked looking at her in the mirror.

"Of course. I'm sure you'll make a lot of new friends here," she assured him. He nodded.

"Besides. You shouldn't have any troubles. We changed your name on your birth certificate months ago, so the school system should be updated. Your dad and I have talked to the teachers ahead of time and the principal. They all know your situation and you can talk to any of them."

"N-no one else is going to know right?" He stuttered. Sarah nodded and kissed his cheek.

"Your secret is safe with them, okay?"


"The only problem you might have are bathrooms. You can use the one in the main office, but we couldn't get the principal to agree to let you in the men's room. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I don't really use the bathrooms at school anyways," Keith murmured.

"Okay, but if you need to go the teachers know. You'll be safe," she said and patted his shoulder.

"Okay. Thank you," he nodded.

"C'mon. Let me see you smile. It's your first day!" She coaxed. He mustered a forced grin, but she merely scoffed. "You call that a smile? Think of this as an adventure! A new start!" She promoted. Keith laughed a little and gave her a real smile. "See? Much better."

"You're the best mom," he said.

"I know. Now let's go eat breakfast. You don't want to be late for your first day, do you?" She urged.

     Keith shook his head and picked up his backpack. He followed his mother downstairs to the kitchen where he was presented with toast, bacon, and a glass of milk. He ate his breakfast and took his medication just in time to catch the bus. Once he said goodbye to his mom and dad he pulled on his backpack and walked out to the bus stop. The bus came by two minutes later and he was suddenly reminded of his anxiety again. His mother was good at making him feel calm again, but the effects didn't last long. He took a deep breath and cautiously stepped inside the school bus.

     It was chaos. Keith was instantly submerged in an environment of noise and smells. B.O. and bad breath mixed with a billion different body sprays was enough to assault his nose, but the screaming and chattering also attacked his ears as well. It took him a few seconds to accept his surroundings and finally start shuffling down the aisle. The bus was half full already, but he still struggled to find a completely empty seat. He tried to avoid eye contact, but he could feel everyone's gaze piercing in to him and it made him uncomfortable. Eventually he found a seat near the back with no occupants and decided to sit by himself there.

"Move to the back, Holt! I don't wanna hear you talk nerd crap again!" Someone shouted from the front of the bus. Keith furrowed his brows and peeked up at the drama.

"I don't think you can even comprehend it much less enjoy it, Mike," a small kid said. Probably a freshman.

"Get out of here with your fancy words, Holt!" The other kid, Mike, spat. The short freshmen merely rolled their eyes and continued down the aisle playing with their gameboy.

"Ha! You told that freak, Mike!" Another deeper voice said followed by the sound of a high five.

     Keith watched as kids purposely moved so the short kid wouldn't sit next to them. It confused him as to why they were so rude to a kid they all probably just met. All because some kid named Mike hated them? Eventually the kid sighed and pushed their glasses up. They surveyed the rest of the bus and frowned when there were no seats. Keith watched intently as they sighed and continued forward. When they finally approached Keith's seat he moved his backpack out of the way and scooted over to make room. The small kid blinked at him, and he shrugged.

"Can…can I sit here?" They asked. Keith glanced over at the front of the bus. A few of the other kids were watching, but Mike was distracted by picking his nose. Keith then nodded.

"Thank you," they said and took the seat next to Keith. He nodded again without a word. The kids stopped watching them.

"My name is Pidge by the way. Well, my real name is Katie, but I like being called Pidge instead," the kid greeted and held out a hand for Keith to shake. He accepted Pidge's handshake and gave another nod.

"What's your name? Or do you speak at all?" Pidge asked.

"Keith," he responded.

"Ah. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude if I did. It was a genuine question. I recently learned about selectively mute people, and I wanted to be more sensitive incase you were mute," they explained. Keith blinked.

"I'm…not offended," he said trying to control his voice. It had only been a week since he took his first testosterone shot.

"Okay. That's good. Are you new? I've never seen you here before."

"Uh…aren't you a-"

"Freshman? Well yes, technically people my age are supposed to be just starting high school this year. I on the other hand skipped a grade last year and so now I'm a sophomore," they told him.

"Oh that's really impressive," Keith said.

"Thank you. What about you? Are you a sophomore too? Maybe a junior?"

"I-I'm a senior," Keith stuttered.

"Really? You look a little shorter than boys your age," they noticed.

"A-Asian genes," he stuttered.

"Hm. I guess that makes sense. Where did you move from?"


"Ew. Never say that again. You're lucky to be here in Oregon. It's pretty great here."


"Yeah! We've got nice air and if you like rain then you're at the right place. Plus we have so many trees and…"

     Pidge continued to chat with Keith for the entire bus ride. It was only until the rest of the kids got up and shuffled out did they stop talking. Even after that they offered to help Keith around the school. Apparently he was supposed to come the day before for freshman orientation, but he already had his schedule and he was kind of avoiding going inside the building. Needless to say he was thankful for Pidge's short 15 minute tour of the school before the bell rang.

     Since they were in different years they had to split ways once the bell went off. He made his way to his first class and shyly sat down in his new desk. The teacher greeted the class and did role call. It almost felt normal until the teacher called "Keith" and gave him a knowing smile. Right. A subtle reminder that this wasn't normal. It was never going to be normal. At least to him and the teacher. As far as he knew the rest of the class was completely oblivious to his "situation" as his mother put it. Although if his teacher kept giving him that stupid smile the class might suspect otherwise.

     Everyone introduced themselves to the class and then they studied the syllabus. After that they were allowed to chat a little bit, and a couple kids approached Keith. One of them said he looked a little lonely, and the other one merely wanted to borrow a pencil. Other than that no one else really bothered him. It was kinda nice. At his old school whenever there was a new face students would ask millions of questions since they lived in such a small town. He was kind of expecting people to act more like Pidge had on the bus. Maybe they only acted that way because they didn't have a lot of friends in the first place…

     Second period was advanced senior English. It was too late for Keith to sign up for any of the AP classes since he moved in the middle of the summer and wouldn't be able to finish the summer assignments. He wasn't disappointed though. AP classes weren't his priority. Instead he was more focused on surviving which so far was a somewhat achievable goal. Granted he hadn't even gotten through his first day, but he got through his first class. If only things could go that smoothly through every class period.

"Kathy Kogane!" The teacher called. Apparently not. Keith blushed.

"Um…my name is Keith," he said raising his hand. The old woman squinted through her glasses at Keith and then back at the paper.

"This doesn't say Kathy…I apologize, Keith," she said in a shrill voice as she moved on. He sighed in relief. That was nerve wracking. Keith struggled to stop the trembling in his hands as she finished off role call.

"Okay students. If you are under the impression that you'll be able to choose your own seats in my class than you are wrong. Get up and stand around the perimeter of the room," she instructed. 

     Keith followed the rest of the groaning class and clutched his backpack to his chest. He felt hot and sweaty under his binder, and bit his lip nervously as he glanced around at the other students. They all appeared to be displeased with arranged seats, but Keith could care less. He was more afraid of accidentally being called Kathy again. What a gross name…

"I will go around the room and call your names out as I pass your desk. Do not move until I am finished," she announced and cleared her throat.

     Keith paid close attention to her fingers as she touched each desk and called out people's names. He waited with anticipation as she approached the J's and the K's. When she finally did call his name he had to remind himself not to go until she was done. He stared intently at his spot until she allowed the class to move and everyone went for their seats. Keith tried to walk to his desk calmly, but ended up rushing just a little bit. When he sat down he sighed again and stressfully ran his fingers through his hair.

     Just another class period and he'd be able to go home. He didn't even have a full day since he had a free period, but even with that he felt a little bit overwhelmed. The classes were so long compared to home. He was used to six short periods in the day, but now he had four long periods that alternated each day. It was a little confusing, but it was mostly mentally draining to him. 90 minutes of pure education time on one subject was enough to fry anyone's brain.

"Yo, dude. What are you doing?"
Keith snapped his head in the direction of the voice, but relaxed when he realized it wasn't directed at him. Instead it was directed to the girl sitting next to him.

"What? I'm sitting," she sassed.

"Also don't call me dude. I'm a girl."

"Trust me, Larissa, I noticed," the boy purred and winked. Keith didn't really pay much attention to him and decided to look back at his desk.

"Ugh! You're so gross," she gagged.

"I know you want me, sweetheart."

"As if."

"Yeah yeah. Anyways you're in the wrong spot. Teach told me to sit there, dude," the boy said seriously.

"It's alphabetical order dude, don't you remember?" She sassed.

"I know, and she alphabetically put me here."

"I'm supposed to be here," she hissed.

"Hey kid, what's your last name?"

     It took a while for Keith to realize he was the one being addressed this time. When he finally blinked up at the boy he suddenly forgot every name he went by. In front of his eyes was a tall, skinny, lanky, tan, and downright gorgeous boy complete with short brown hair and bright blue eyes. Keith couldn't help but gape a little as he stared up at him. He radiated the kind of charisma, confidence and warmth that Keith instantly latched on to and wanted.

"Hello? Name? Are you deaf?" He questioned. Keith snapped out of it and cleared his throat.

"K-Kogane," he stuttered.

"See. Kogane, McClain, and then McDonald. Simple ABC's," the boy said to Larissa. She pouted before gathering her stuff and moving to the other table.

"Bye Larissa," the boy sang with a proud grin.

     Larissa rolled her eyes and stormed off past him without a word. The boy laughed a little when she shoved his shoulder with her own, and then took his seat next to Keith. He tried his best not to stare at the beautiful boy next to him, but he couldn't help it when he was finally close enough for the freckles on his tan skin to pop out. Then Keith saw bright blue eyed again and looked away bashfully. He bit his lip and scolded himself. If people really saw him as a boy he couldn't just ogle at another guy like he did when people saw him as a girl. That would open a whole other can of worms.

"Hey there," the boy said. Keith peeked at him again and nearly died at the sight of his smile. "My name's Lance McClain," he introduced himself as he held out his hand for a handshake.

     Keith looked down at his hand and slowly accepted the handshake. He felt so much more nervous shaking Lance's hand than he did shaking Pidge's hand. For some reason those were the only two so far that had greeted Keith with a handshake.

"Keith…Keith Kogane," he responded.

"You're new here, aren't you?" He asked. Keith blushed.

"How do you know that?"

"I had a feeling. You don't exactly look very comfortable," Lance commented. Keith shrugged and looked away.

"I'm fine," he mumbled.

"What lunch do you have?"


"I asked what lunch do you have," Lance repeated.

"Oh um…I'm not…sure…"

"Lemme see your schedule," Lance said. Keith pulled out the white paper from his school binder and unfolded it for Lance to see. The tan boy leaned closer to Keith and he had to hold his breath when he felt Lance's shoulder brush against his.

"You have second lunch. That's great, so do I. You can sit with me and my friends," he told Keith.

"When is second lunch?" Keith asked.

"After third period," Lance answered.

"Uh…okay. I don't have a fourth though…"

"Do you take the bus?" Keith nodded. "Then stay for lunch. It won't come until the school day is over."

"Uh…I think I'll just…walk home?"

"If you can find your way I guess."

"I think I can manage," Keith said.

     Lance shrugged and gave Keith his personal space back. The distance between them made Keith realize he kinda liked being close to Lance. He felt comfortable, cozy, like a cup of hot cocoa. Hot cocoa with cinnamon sprinkled on top like the freckles peeking out across the bridge of his nose and his cheeks. It was rather disappointing when that warmth and that comfort was pulled away from him. Lance didn't even realize he was doing it, but Keith could tell he was already falling for him. Yikes.

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     Keith ended up going home right after third. He didn't even look at the cafeteria and bolted for the front door. It took a while for him to remember the rout home, but eventually found the main street that lead to his house. His dad was typing on his laptop and nodded at Keith when he walked in. Keith then asked where mom was and was told she was still working. Right. He wouldn't be getting home at the same time as his mother anymore. He set his syllabi on the kitchen counter and went up to his room to take a nap until his mom got home.

     The second day of school was similar to the first. Once again it was filled with syllabi, introductions, and more awkward conversations. He spoke with Pidge again on the bus, but he didn't see Lance in any of his classes that day. He couldn't tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing…

     On the third day he felt a little more comfortable with his environment. The bus trip and first period wasn't as bad as he thought it would be. In fact a few kids even talked to him and smiled and asked his name again and such. It kinda made him feel uneasy since the majority of them were girls…and they seemed a little overly friendly. He tried not to think much of it, but a part of him was scared they could all sense that he wasn't a cis boy. Mostly because they tried to be chatty with him and trade phone numbers…even though he didn't own a cell phone. He didn't mention his house phone and lied saying he didn't have one when the girls suggested it. By the time second period rolled around he was a little too exhausted to remember he was anticipating his next meeting with Lance.

"Hey, dude," the gorgeous boy greeted as he sat next to Keith. The pale boy had to readjust himself every time he saw that tan body and freckled face. It was like getting smacked in the face with a very nice, very tall, pillow.

"Uh, hey," Keith mumbled.

"Where were you on Wednesday? I kept my eye out for you in the cafeteria, but I didn't spot you," Lance said. Keith blushed. Oh dear god, Lance was looking for him? That made him feel incredibly weird.

"I-I ended up going home and taking a nap," he stuttered.

"Oh. Okay. Well if you ever…hello?"

     Lance looked past Keith, and Keith followed his gaze behind him. There was a rather pretty girl with blond hair standing next to Keith's desk. She smiled down at him and ignored Lance.

"Hi…I'm Stacy. I heard you were new here," she greeted herself to Keith.

"Oh uh. Yeah," he replied.

"If you need anything you can totally come to me, okay? I'd totally be willing to help you out with any of your classes or getting around if you need it," she told him. Keith nodded.

"Thank you. That's very nice of you," he said.

"Um…also…" she leaned a little closer. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

     Keith wasn't nearly as uncomfortable with that question as one thought he might be. Lance was one hundred percent surprised by Stacy's question. He was also infuriated with it because he wasn't used to girls ignoring him like this. Keith shook his head.

"No. I didn't really have a lot of friends back in Michigan to be honest. I've never dated anyone," he confessed. Stacy gave him a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder.

"Aw. You poor thing. I don't know why people wouldn't like you. You seem like a really cool guy," she said. Lance glared at her. "And about the girlfriend thing…I'm sure you'll have one in no time," she winked. Keith shrugged. He was obviously not picking up on her hints.

"I'm not really interested in dating anyone right now. I'm kinda more focused on just getting this year over with, y'know?" He responded. She giggled.

"Oh, Keith. You're so silly-"

"Students must be in their seats right now!" The teacher announced. Stacy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"I'll chat with you later," she told Keith. He nodded and she walked away back to her seat.

"Dude, what was that?" Lance hissed. Keith blinked at him.


"What's up with that? You were all casual with her. I thought you were antisocial or something," he said. Keith blushed.

"I-I dunno. I was just talking."
"Whatever. That doesn't matter. How many girls have talked to you today?" He inquired.


"Yes! Today."

"Oh uh…there was one on the bus, and then a couple in first period, and Stacy just now," he answered. Lance's jaw dropped.

"What! Are you serious!"

"McClain. Silence," the teacher scolded. He closed his mouth and gave her a nod before glaring at Keith.

"I-is there something wrong with that? I didn't ask them to talk to me. Besides, they were all really nice," Keith defended.

"They were all flirting with you, Keith. C'mon. I used to be the womanizer in this school," he whispered.

"I-I am not a womanizer!" Keith squeaked.

"You totally are! I should've figured. Girls would totally find you cute, and you're mysterious since you're the new kid," he groaned.

"I'm not mysterious. I'm just me," Keith insisted. Lance rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, and I'm not tall. I'm just me," Lance bit back. Keith blinked.

"But you are tall."

"Okay so you're mysterious /and/ dumb. Fantastic."

"Lance! Quit your chattering!" The teacher snapped again.

"Alright alright," he groaned. Keith turned his attention to the front of the class, but shivered when he felt Lance lean closer to him again. "Are you gonna be at lunch today, or not?"

"…probably not."



"Hey, Cyn-I mean Keith. Come over here," Keith's dad, Alan, said. Keith set his pencil down on the kitchen counter and went in to the living room to his dad.

"Yeah, dad?" He replied. Alan patted the space next to him on the couch and set his laptop to the side.

"C'mere. I have something for you," he told him. Keith obeyed his father and sat on the couch next to him. Alan pulled out a Swiss Army knife from his pocket.

"I've been doing a lot of thinking, C…son, and as…as a man you must know how to defend yourself and protect your lady friends, right?"

"I…I guess so," Keith murmured as he eyed the red knife.

"Well. I know that you are quite strong and that you work out sometimes and stuff, but I figured you might want something with an edge just incase a situation gets too messy," Alan continued and held out the gadget to him. "This is a Swiss Army knife. It has a blade, but a lot of other things too. You should keep this with you. Think of it as the man version of pepper spray."

"Oh neat," Keith said accepting the red object.

"It has a knife, corkscrew, tiny scissors, a nail file I think for some reason…and yeah. You just pull them out from the sides," Alan explained. Keith pulled out the blade and smiled.

"Thanks dad. This means a lot to me," he said.

"Uh-huh. Be careful with that though. You don't wanna hurt anyone who isn't attacking you. You should probably keep it in your backpack at school," he advised. Keith nodded.

"Got it," he grinned.

"Keith? Do you really have homework in the first week of school?" His mother called from the kitchen.

"Uh, yeah," Keith called back and jumped up from the couch. He went back in to the kitchen and sat down in front of his work. "But it's nothing hard. I just started and I'm almost done," he assured her. 

"That's good," she smiled and ruffled his hair. "Should I schedule a haircut? It's pretty shaggy in the back. Looks like you have a mullet or something," she teased lightly. Keith smiled a little.

"Maybe. I kinda like my neck covered, but everything else it too long," he said.

"Alright. I'll call Debby and get you an appointment."

"Thank you."

"How's school been going? Did you make any new friends?" Sarah asked.

"I think so…"

"What do you mean you 'think so'?"

"I mean…like there's this kid I usually ride the bus with now, and this other kid who talks to me in English class. But the kid in my English class is kinda all over the place and the kid on the bus is a sophomore so I don't see her that often."

"I see. Well maybe you should try and get to know them better," she suggested.

"Maybe…the one on the bus is named Pidge and she's really in to video games and technology. She's on the Lego robotics team," he said.

"That's impressive. I hope the other teammates don't give her a hard time just because she's a girl."

"Not at all. She's the team captain."

"Well, us girls are natural born leaders," Sarah smiled.

"I guess so…"

"What about that kid in your English class? What's his name?" She asked.

"Uh…his name is Lance," he mumbled.

"What do you know about him?"

"Not much…like I said he's kinda all over the place. He invited me to eat lunch with him and his friends but I just go home after third period since I don't have a fourth," Keith told her.

"Hm. Maybe you should eat with him. I'll pack you a lunch for Monday and you can make some new friends," she offered. Keith shrugged.

"I dunno…I dunno if I like him that much," he lied.

"What? Why not?"

"He's got too much energy."

"Well maybe he'll rub off on you. Y'know there's a forest trail right behind our house. It's very pretty."

"It's wet."

"Well, there's a lot of rain here. We might need to get you some rain boots and a rain coat."

"I'll be fine," Keith said.

"Just wait until the winter time. You'll be begging for a pair," she smiled and kissed the top of his head.

"Whatever, mom."

"Oh, don't forget we have to do your injection tomorrow. We have to do it every Saturday," she reminded him. He sighed.

"I hate shots," he mumbled.

"I know you do, but it's a small price to pay for a big step. How's the first week?"

"It feels like nothing has happened."

"I'm sure it just takes time. Maybe you should document it in a journal," Sarah suggested. He shrugged.




"You're the new kid, right? My name is Cindy. I'm on the cheerleading team and I wanted to give you a warm welcome to our school."


"Hey, you're Keith, right? I'm Kelly. I think we have personal financing together. Are you free this Saturday?"


"Oh my god, you are so cute! I can't believe how short you are! I mean you're only like an inch taller than me!"


"My friend told me to tell you that you're really cute, but she's too shy to come over her and tell you herself. What a loser, am I right? Anyways, do you have a cell phone?"


     Keith's first full week of school was off to a rather rocky start. For one he had no interest in girls, and two they wouldn't stop coming for him. He had no idea that they were actually flirting with him until Lance pointed it out last week. Although it was nice knowing he passed enough for girls to flirt with him, it was still uncomfortable knowing they were attracted to him. He never had an attraction to females. Even when he was labeled as one he was exclusively interested in boys. He never thought that one day he might be drowning in girls, but now that he was he never wanted to experience it ever again.

     To make things worse, the only real friends he's made were still Pidge and Lance. Then again Keith was still trying to figure out if he should really consider Lance as a friend. Ever since Stacy talked to Keith in class the tall tan boy was a little bit of a stinker. He'd stick his tongue out at Keith and pull on his eye in the hall all day that Monday, and then there was a mixture of rude in his usual semi-nice way of speaking. Keith could tell he was jealous of his "way with the ladies". Still, Lance made his chest feel funny under his binder for some reason.

     The fourth day he saw Lance was a bad day. He woke up late that morning and accidentally missed the bus. His father ended up driving him to school since his mother already left, and breakfast was nothing more than a granola bar. First period was beyond annoying, and the constant chat up lines were seriously starting to annoy him. It was a miracle he didn't snap at Rachael who sat next to him in personal financing. She spent all their free time gnawing his ear off about her new flip phone. As if that was supposed to impress him. Needless to say when he sat down in his desk in second period he was ready to go home and nap. Lance on the other hand appeared to be ready for anything.

"Hey, Keith. Do you know a girl named Rachael? She says she's in your personal finance class," Lance started talking once he got in his seat. Keith gave him a cold glance to his side.

"Good morning to you too," he grumbled.

"Whoa look who woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Awn't you a wittle gwumpy," Lance said in a baby voice as he ruffled Keith's hair. Keith slapped his hand away.

"I'm not in the mood," he replied curtly.

"Obviously. My question still stand though, dude. Do you know her or not?"

"You mean the Rachael that won't shut up? The Rachael that just got a new flip phone and spent five minutes telling me about the keyboard? The Rachael who's fucking annoying?" Keith snapped.

"Yeah that one," Lance nodded.

"I know her…unfortunately."

"Man, you are really pissed off. What's got you all frazzled?"

"It's just…" he sighed. "Not a good day."

"Ah. I see. That sucks. Anyways, Rachael would totally kill me if she knew I was telling you this, but she told me she likes you."


How considerate.


"Tell her to get in line."

"How long is the line again? Man I can't compete with the girls you got on stand by."

"Why compete? It's annoying," Keith said.

"What? No way. It must be heaven having all those girls to choose from. Are there any you like?"

"I'm not interested in dating," Keith replied and pulled his library card out of his backpack.

"What? Really? Dude you could literally have anyone here. Girls go crazy over new guys. They call 'em fresh meat."

"That's degrading," he mumbled.


"Pay attention. We're going to the library," Keith told him as he stood up. Lance scrambled after him.

"Wait wait wait. You're telling me you don't like all this female attention?" He questioned.

"I hate it," Keith replied.


"Because I don't want to date anyone," Keith said.

"That's unfair. You got all these girls and you don't even want one of them, and yet here I am totally willing to have a girlfriend and-"

"Lance, I really don't care," Keith interrupted. Lance frowned.

"You really did wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning didn't you?" He said. Keith sighed.

"I accidentally slept in, and I barely made it to first period on time."

"At least you made it on time. That's good, right?"

"I would've preferred to skip. Out of all these girls Rachael annoys me the most…"

"Yeah I can understand that. She can be a little too…chatty."

"You're one to talk," Keith muttered. Lance stopped and gawked at him, but Keith kept walking.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He demanded to know as he caught up to Keith.

"Have you heard yourself this entire time? All you do is talk," he pointed out.

"I do not! Besides I meant she's like gossipy. You can't trust her with a secret."

"You literally just ratted her out to me and told me she likes me."

"Okay, but she deserves it," Lance defended.

"Says you," Keith bit back.

     Lance groaned and crossed his arms. He pouted like a child and Keith smiled a little in response. It was ridiculous how much their conversation was actually cheering him up. While he was still confused on where he stood in relation to Lance, it appeared that Lance thought of them as friends. Or at least something akin to friendship. Maybe Keith could get used to him…

"Where do you eat lunch?" Keith asked. Lance perked up.

"I usually eat under the stairs in central hall…are you gonna come?" He asked. Keith tried to ignore how hopeful he sounded.

"I guess. My mom packed me a lunch, and after the morning I had I don't think I wanna walk home today," he said. Lance grinned.

"Yeah, totally. I eat with Hunk and Pidge every other day since we all have different lunch schedules on day twos."

"Pidge? Holt?"

"Yeah. She says you guys sit on the bus together," Lance told him.

"Yeah, we do. Everyone seemed to not like her, so I let her sit next to me."

"Thanks for that by the way. Hunk and I usually try to look out for her in school, but neither of us are on the same bus as her. Hunk doesn't even take the bus, but anyways she gets picked on. She doesn't deserve it, but it happens," Lance rambled. Keith nodded.

"Yeah. No one deserves that," he agreed.

"I'm sure she'll be excited to see you. She sometimes talks about you and the stuff you say to her on the bus."

"Are you ratting her out or is she okay with me knowing this?" Keith questioned. Lance rolled his eyes.

"C'mon, dude, she's not in to you like that, okay?"

"Then she's my favorite."

"Ha! You really don't like girls, do you?" Lance grinned. Keith blushed.

"I-I don't like people in general. It's just girls who are being annoying at the moment," he stuttered. Lance patted his back.

"Yeah. Between us guys, girls are like another species. They're so much more…complicated," he said.

     Keith felt his heart drop. Shit okay. His brain was doing weird analysis of that sentence, and his emotions were all over the place. Worst of all his anxiety was looming over him.

"I dunno…I mean, girls aren't that different from…us," he mumbled. It was hard to remember he was apart of "us" now. Lance shrugged.

"Eh. In the end I love them no matter how complicated they are," he said.


Change the subject.


It's inflicting too much pain.


"S-so who's Hunk? You mentioned him earlier…"

Chapter Text

     The first thing that went through Keith's head when the lunch bell went off was home. He was basically on autopilot at that point, and was more focused on just getting the hell out of there. It was only until he was tugged back by his collar mere inches from the front door was he reminded that he was actually eating lunch at school. With Lance. Who was rather snippy about the fact that Keith forgot about that.

"Oh no, mijo, you are not escaping that easily. I already told Pidge you were gonna eat with us," Lance said rather loudly as he dragged Keith back towards the cafeteria.

"I-I'm sorry! I forgot!" He panicked and stumbled to turn around.

"Unbelievable. I can't believe you. You're unbelievable. This is unbelievable."

"Is my shitty memory really that unbelievable?" Keith questioned.

"Yes!" Lance snapped and lead him under the stairs in central.

"Keith!" Pidge grinned as soon as they caught sight of them.

"Waddup, Lance. You brought a friend," a bigger guy said holding a sandwich.

"Feast your eyes on Keith Kogane. The new womanizer in town," Lance announced patting Keith hard on the back. Keith stumbled over and then glared at Lance.

"I am not a womanizer," he growled.

"Oh don't mind him. Lance is an ass," Pidge assured him. He mustered a forced smile at Pidge and a head nod to the guy he presumed to be Hunk.

"Hey. I'm Hunk." Confirmed.

"Hi, Hunk," Keith muttered and made himself comfortable next to Pidge.

"This is the dude that's totally been stealing my mojo in English class," Lance said sitting next to Hunk.

"As if you had any mojo to begin with," Keith grumbled.

"Ha! Ha! Ha! I like him. He's staying," Hunk laughed. Pidge giggled a little bit themself.

"Good one Keith."


"Anyways. He's new and he looks lonely so I invited him to sit with us " Lance added.

"Well, welcome to the club," Hunk greeted and reached his hand out. Keith blinked at the gesture and couldn't quite understand what Hunk wanted him to do.

"Y'see you just…" Hunk took his wrist and dragged Keith's palm over his. "…and then…" he brought their fists together in to a fist bump. "Buh-gow!"

"What was that?" Lance asked.

"Y'know, like an explosion."

"No explosions are more like boom!"
"No way, guys. It's more like pah!" Pidge added.

"We're not talking about your shitty Lego explosions. We're talking TNT mushroom cloud shit," Lance sassed.

"At least I've heard an actual explosion in real life," Pidge retorted.

"Pidge has a point," Hunk said.

"She does not! It doesn't count because it's like explosions for ants," Lance insisted.

     Keith watched as they all continued to bicker and debate on trivial things. It was rather amusing to watch, and he even forgot about eating while he followed their conversation. Thankfully his stomach reminded him just how hungry he was when it rumbled and prompted him to pull out his lunch sack. He continued to listen as he ate. It was oddly comfortable sitting and observing this group. A part of Keith felt a little at home. Almost like he was just hanging out with his mom. He lacked the usual feeling of anxiety, and instead felt…neutral. That was a feeling he hadn't experienced much.



"Dude. How much did you get on that quiz?" Lance asked. He leaned over Keith's shoulder and invaded all kinds of personal space as he inspected the other boy's paper.

"90," Keith answered.

"Are you kidding me? I got a 89!"

"Did you even read the chapter?" Keith questioned raising a brow.

"Of course I did!" Lance barked.

"Uh-huh. Looking over the first few pages doesn't count," he sassed.

"No, I actually read it, dumbass," Lance hissed and returned to his space on their shared desk. Keith rolled his eyes.


"Just you wait, Kogane, I'll smoke you in the next test," Lance said. Keith cringed.

"Ugh. Don't use my last name like that."

"What? Kogane? I'll beat your ass, Kogane," Lance grinned.

"Good luck with that, McClain," Keith spat back.

"Okay, that's not fair I have an ugly last name," Lance defended.

"You have a white last name," Keith corrected with a smirk.

"It's not my fault my mom married a white dude," Lance defended.

     Keith giggled. It was rather high pitched, and he quickly covered his mouth. He looked at Lance with wide eyes, and then they skirted away. He was blushing.

     If he was being completely honest, Lance kinda liked the sound of Keith's laugh. In all forms it was enjoyable for some reason. He refused to use words like "cute" or "beautiful" or "charming" even though he wanted to. For some reason Lance had a ridiculous urge to be Keith's friend. He felt the need to befriend and kinda protect the new shy kid at his school. At first he brushed it off as being nice since Keith came off as a really timid guy, but now he didn't really have an excuse.

     It had already been a month since school started and Lance already couldn't imagine a time without Keith in his group of friends. Granted he didn't talk much, but when he did it was always pleasant. At least pleasant in the sense that no matter how sassy he was it still made Lance oddly happy. Their banter was probably the highlight of his day, and for some reason he felt the need to be in Keith's space more than others. Maybe he just really really really wanted to be friends with an Asian dude. Yeah…maybe.

"What was that?" Lance questioned with a giggle of his own.

"N-nothing. It's just…my voice is cracking still," Keith stuttered.

"Really? Damn, you almost sounded like a girl."

"F-fuck off," he stuttered and hunched up his shoulders in defense. Lance's smile dropped when he sensed the seriousness in his voice.

"Yo, I was just kidding, dude. Don't take things so seriously," Lance said and patted his shoulder. Keith flinched a little, but relaxed.

"Sorry, I…" Keith trailed off as the bell rung. He and Lance gathered their stuff and Keith walked a little faster than Lance.

"I'll see you at lunch, right?" Lance called as Keith took off. He stopped and turned around.

"Uh…I-I have a doctors appointment today actually," Keith told him. Why did that kinda hurt? Surely Keith wasn't lying, was he? Just because Lance made a stupid joke?

"Oh. Okay then. I guess I'll see you next week," he said. Keith nodded.

"Yeah…tell Hunk and Pidge hi for me."

"Will do."



     Clouds wept rain from above. It made everything look a little more somber to Keith. The grey skies and black roads were unappealing to him as his mother drove back from the doctors office. He sighed as they passed the forests and the trees. Never had he seen so much green in his life. It was like the whole town was one big tree, and everyone else were just the bugs in the shrub. Keith still couldn't place his opinion on it. Much like his thoughts and feelings on Lance, it was going to take him a while for them to settle. Even though he knew how he felt about Lance. He was in some deep shit.

     Something Keith found out about Lance was how incredibly addicting he can be. The warm feelings he gave Keith were unlike any other. They were similar to the love and comfort his mother gave him, but it wasn't quite the same. Lance was…more like boiling while Keith's mother was more like simmering. His mother knew boundaries and understood when too much was too much. Lance on the other hand was everywhere. Sometimes everywhere was trespassing. Still no matter how much Lance stepped out of bounds Keith didn't hate him. He didn't know, and Keith was sure if he knew he'd never say those things. If being the key word. He'd probably never tell Lance about that part of himself.

     All he talked about was girls sometimes. Sure they talked about other things, but once he got on about girls it was nonstop. Keith often got tired of hearing it and hated every second of those conversations. Thankfully once he made that evident Lance usually stopped.

"So, how's your journaling?" Keith's mother asked looking over at him momentarily.

"It's fine," he mumbled.

"How are you feeling? Is it working?" She continued with an excited grin.

"Uh…I guess. My voice keeps cracking and I think it's getting deeper," he noticed.

"I've heard! You could probably sing some more songs now that you can get those lower notes."

"Maybe. I don't sing much," he said.

"Oh don't lie to me, honey. I hear you through the walls when you think I'm sleeping," she winked. He blushed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he deadpanned. She laughed.

"Oh you're so silly. It's okay to enjoy singing in your room, y'know."

"I don't sing."

"Okay, whatever you say kiddo."

     They pulled up to their driveway and Keith instantly felt the need for a nap. When the entered their home he told his mom and dad that he was gonna sleep a little before dinner. He barely even heard their reply as he dragged himself upstairs.

     The moment Keith's back hit his bed he was filled with a sense of agitation. He couldn't place his finger on it, but there was something that irritated him. It was probably frustrating and illogical. Everything that made him mad was like that nowadays. He felt like a grumpy little asshole, but he couldn't exactly help it. When he talked to his doctor about it that day he was unhappy to hear his moodiness was in result of the testosterone. Like he was told the side effect before, but this was annoying. He hated being this upset over little things. Such as his mom hearing him sing through the walls, and Lance saying he sounded like a girl. Lance…

     How could one boy make Keith feel so much emotion? Sometimes Lance was all he could think about. His beautiful tan skin with freckles he adored. Those bright blue eyes that communicated much more than what he was thinking. That incessant mouth of his with thin lips Keith was just dying to try at least once. Once kiss. Was that such a sin? Keith figured he was already an abomination by nature as is…was wanting a boy that big of a deal? Especially when the boy in question was tall and had short hair that looked so touchable? Hands that looked so holdable? Lips that looked so kissable?

     Keith was confused, he figured. He told himself Lance was obsessed with girls, so no matter what he couldn't know the way he felt. Lance would call him a freak. Especially if he figured out he's trans too. All of his friends would leave him for being too queer again. Just the thought of those three cringing at him and confessing they didn't want to be friends anymore made Keith instantly try to think of something else.

     Something else ended up being sex. Another result of the testosterone was the annoying increase of sex drive. Keith's mind wandered to the possibility of sex in a perfect world were Lance accepted him whole-heartedly. Where Lance would kiss him and nibble on his bottom lip. Where he smiled against Keith's neck and dragged his tongue over his pale skin. Lance feeling down his sides and not minding the little extra dip in his waist. Hands around Keith's hips and trailing between his thighs as he exclaimed with a soft oh. That light teasing touch while Lance left all kinds of marks on Keith's skin. The soft whispers of assurance and encouragement when he slipped his fingers inside and filled Keith was absolute pleasure.

     Keith's eyes snapped open and he stared at his ceiling. Did he really just think about that? Imagine that? Lance fingering him? He'd never do that. That's insane. Even if Lance was attracted to boys he'd be expecting entirely different equipment. Still those thoughts lingered and now there was an uncomfortable wet heat in Keith's jeans. He sighed and leaned over his bed to pull out his journal from underneath it. He grabbed his pencil from his back pack and wrote that date at the top of a new page.

I am so unbelievably horny.



     The rain continued all weekend. Lance absolutely loved the rain. He loved feeling the water in his hair and on his skin. It was hard to explain, but even for an Oregonian he was a bit of a rain freak. He'd spend hours watching it out the window in school, and just sitting in it at home outside his house. The sound of it pelting against his window always lulled him to sleep at night. He never really wore a rain coat, and instead let it soak in to his clothes. That always annoyed his mother who would scold him about how he would get sick with a cold or something. His friends hated it probably more since they always complained about how wet he would be through the rest of the day.

     Lucky for Lance the rain continued in to the next week. Monday was now at least somewhat enjoyable with the distinct sound of rain on the windows. When it carried on even to Tuesday he insisted on waiting outside the school to soak it up before the other buses came and he figured he should probably go inside. Once he was undercover he shook it off kinda like a dog and evoked groans and shrieks around him. He chuckled and then dark hair caught the corner of his eye. Keith was inspecting the droplets of water on his jacket and glared at them as if it offended him. Lance turned and grinned.

"Not a fan of the rain, Kogane?" he questioned. Keith glared at him instead of the droplets.

"Not really," he said.

"Well that's a shame. Living in Oregon all you get is rain at this time of year," Lance told him.

"Whatever. Just don't touch me," he muttered and walked past Lance.

"Oh, you mean like this?" Lance followed Keith and ran his wet fingers down his cheek. Keith jerked his head away from Lance and hardened his glare.

"Cut it out, McClain," he snapped.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Keith! I had no intention to upset you. Let me make it up to you with a nice big hug," Lance teased with out stretched arms. Keith's eyes widened in fear and backed away. He was about to run, but he was too late. Surprisingly strong arms covered in wet jacket wrapped around Keith's waist and squeezed him. Lance even managed to lift Keith off of the ground as he yelped in response.

"L-let me down!" He protested as Lance only held him tighter. The tan boy laughed and spun Keith around causing him to grip his shoulders tight and almost screamed.

"Oh you're so easy to hug, dude. Like a cuddly little teddy bear," Lance grinned.

"Yeah, well this little teddy bear won't hesitate to kick you in the nuts!" Keith threatened flailing his legs around Lance's legs.

     The taller boy heeded Keith's warning and returned his feet to the ground. Lance's arms lingered around Keith's waist as he enjoyed the smell of his shampoo and the warmth of his body. Keith started to pull away, but blushed when Lance tugged him closer again. He noticed a few other kids stare as they passed by, and swallowed hard.

"Lance," Keith whispered.

"What are you made of? Fluff? You're so easy to hug, dude," Lance muffled in to Keith's hair.

"People are staring," Keith told him.

     As nice as Lance's arms around him felt, the looming stares from his classmates made it feel not so nice. Still the warmth in his chest and the racing of his heart made him want to hug Lance back. To hold him and to squeeze him tighter. He had completely forgotten about the fact that Lance was soaking wet. It was comfortable to be close to him.


     Lance pulled his head back and saw the few eyes as kids passed the front entrance. Even as far to the side as they were it seemed as if they were the center of attention. Lance reluctantly let got of Keith, disappointed that he didn't hug back, and gave him some space.

"Great. Now I'm all wet, asshole," Keith grumbled and looked down at the hug mark from Lance.

"It's okay, man. Just take off your jacket," Lance said.

"No," Keith said a little too quickly. "I-I mean…I'm cold I don't wanna take it off."

"Then suck it up and stop complaining. It'll dry off," Lance told him and patted his shoulder. Keith was about to response when the bell went off.

"I'll see you in second period. Later," Lance said and walked off.


     The two boys went their separate ways to their separate classes. Keith's jacket eventually did dry, but a part of him didn't want it to dry. A part of him was still stuck in that moment with Lance holding him tight against his chest. He wanted to feel that pressure forever. Apparently it was distracting him because the teacher had been calling his name for a while, and it was only when Rachael tapped his shoulder did he look up from his hands. It was rather embarrassing, but he was quick to forget about it and focus on his hands again.

     There were a lot of things going through Keith's mind during first period. For one how nice Lance smelled drenched in rain, and how nice it felt to experience affection from someone other than his mother. How he so desperately wanted to hug back and squeeze tightly. His chest felt like it was bursting with the emotions swirling in his head. It was hard to ignore, but the moment he walked in to second period and saw Lance's smiling face it only seemed to get stronger. Perhaps more bearable too.

Chapter Text

     In English class they had finally moved on to their second book. Thankfully Keith was okay at reading so he would read whatever his teacher gave him. Plus he didn't have much of a social life, so he spent his weekends reading ahead on his bed and playing with the Swiss Army knife his dad gave him. His mother was yet to successfully persuade him to explore the forestry area behind their house. The outdoors didn't really interested him since it was all slimy and cold and wet outside due to the rain. Although sometimes he'd glance outside and watch it pour down over the window. The few occasions that he was outside while it was raining he admired the peculiar scent it created. It reminded him of the affection he shared with Lance, and the way his cold arms felt so warm embracing him.

     Keith still couldn't stop thinking about Lance. Their usual daily banter and lunchtime was something he looked forward to no matter how annoying it was. He didn't care how straight Lance was. It wasn't like he was under the impression that Lance might like him back. That was rather absurd considering how much he liked tits. But one could dream, right?

     Lately Keith's dreams were more than PG-13. It was actually rather annoying at this point instead of arousing. Of course it was the testosterone's fault. Keith never had a sex dream before, but he decided they weren't his favorite since he woke up all sweaty and hot. He was as honest as he could in his journal since he trusted his mother not to look. Even if she did she would stop when she realized what he was talking about. Besides, he can't help it, so it came be that bad.

     Before Keith knew it Thanksgiving weekend had arrived. October passed quickly since he didn't care much for Halloween. He did have to admit he loved seeing Lance dressed up in his little brothers old bumblebee costume. He said it was because he liked to dress up but didn't want to put a lot of effort in to it. Plus his mom told him if he dressed up while he supervised his siblings trick or treat he could get some candy too.

     Still that was a month ago. Now Keith was laying in his bed nearly finished with his book when he heard the phone ring downstairs in the kitchen. He decided to ignore it and continued to read as he heard his mother answer the phone and speak to the receiver. The knock on his door startled him and he accidentally dropped his book on his face. He groaned as his mother opened the door.

"You've got a friend on the phone," she announced with a smile. Keith blinked. What?

"Uh…okay." She handed him the phone and he cautiously held it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Keith?" Lance's voice popped up in his ear and his eyes widened.

"Lance? How did you get this number?" Keith demanded to know. His mother winked at him and walked out of the room.

"Pidge gave it to me, but that's not important. Did you do the questions the witch wanted us to finish last class?" He asked. Keith sighed.

"Can you please call her Mrs. Haggar? She's a human being too," Keith said.

"You know that woman is anything but human. Anyways, did you do the questions?" He repeated his question.

"You saw me do them in class," Keith told him.

"What? I didn't know you were actually doing it in class. I didn't think anyone did that."

"Lance, you are hopeless," Keith sighed.

"Do you still have them with you though?"

"No, I turned them in."

"Ugh! I'm totally screwed, dude," he groaned. Keith bit his lip. He glanced at his alarm clock on his nightstand. It wasn't too late.

"Do…you need help?" Keith inquired.

"I mean I need quick answers. I read it, but Haggar's questions always confuse me," he replied.

"I could help you out. I think I remember the answers," Keith offered.

"Are you serious? Dude you would totally be saving my ass if you did that," Lance gushed. Keith was thankful Lance couldn't see the blush spreading across his cheeks.

"I guess I can help. I was just reading ahead."

"How far ahead are you?"

"I'm almost done."

"Dude, Haggar hates when kids read ahead."

"Do you think I give a fuck?" He responded out of the blue. Lance laughed, and Keith smiled at the sound.

"Your secret is safe with me. Anyways, the first question…"

     Keith spend the rest of his evening helping Lance with his homework and chatting with him throughout the assignment. He was smiling so much his cheeks started to hurt. When he tried not to smile he only slowly started again until he realized he was grinning. The best part was that he could hear in Lance's voice that he was smiling too. He could imagine the wrinkles around his eyes and the way his freckles stood out more on his cheeks. He could see the curve of his lips and the stars in his eyes. His image was interrupted when his mother called him to dinner and he had to hang up. It was probably for the best since Lance called for help, but half way through they ended up just talking about stupid stuff. They said their goodbyes and Keith joined his mother and father for dinner.

"So…who was that?" Sarah asked.

"It was Lance," Keith answered.

"Is he a friend?" She asked.

"I told you about him after the first week of school. He's the guy from my English class who's all over the place."

"Oh…well it sounded like you guys get along pretty well," she noticed. He shrugged.

"We're okay."

"Okay? You guys sounded a little more than okay-"

"Sarah," Alan interrupted in a stern voice. Sarah blinked at her husband.

"What?" She asked.

"Keith said Lance is a friend. Leave it at that," he said. She frowned. Keith suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. He could sense the tension between his parents and searched for a way to break it up.

"Uh…we started reading a new book in English class," he announced. His mother looked back at him and smiled.

"That's wonderful, sweetie. What's it called?"



"Are you kidding me, Sarah? What's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean? I was just-"

"Just what? Planting more ideas in to her head?"

"Alan, please. Keith-"

"I'm sorry. Keith is a boy he was born in the wrong body blah blah blah, but Sarah that doesn't mean he has to be a gay boy."

"What's wrong with him being a gay boy?"

"Because…because he's already queer enough!"

"Alan!" Sarah hissed. "Don't use that word in this house."

"It's the truth! Here I thought we adopted a normal baby girl, but now she's a freak injecting guy hormones in to her ass every week! I didn't sign up for this!" Alan protested.

"Keep your voice down, Alan, please," Sarah said in a low stern voice.

"I'm trying, Sarah, I am! But what am I supposed to tell my parents? My co-workers? 'Oh yeah, our little girl is actually a boy trapped in a female body. Not just any boy though. A queer boy.' I'd get disowned! My parents aren't like yours, Sarah!"

"Alan, just…we don't need to tell them yet, okay? Please just try and have an open mind…for Keith."

"Sarah, I'm. Trying. Okay? It's just…" Alan sighed. "I miss our daughter…" Sarah was silent for a moment.

"…I miss her too."



     Keith didn't go to school the next day. He didn't even get any sleep. Instead he snuck out early and wandered off outside. His head was still clogged with the conversation his parents had that he overheard. It took everything he had not to cry all night, but even then he had watery eyes until sunrise. Thankfully his father was still asleep when he came downstairs. He changed out of his pajamas the moment he got out of bed and grabbed a couple of granola bars and bananas from the kitchen. His plan wasn't to run away exactly. Just…get away for a little. Surely they wouldn't notice…or mind really. They were too busy missing their daughter anyways.

     The town was still unfamiliar to Keith. The only path he knew was the path to his school, and he knew he couldn't go here. So he walked out the backdoor and headed through the forestry area his mother was so obsessed with him exploring. At first it was kinda scary, but once he got a few feet in to the lush green forest he decided it wasn't too bad. It was pretty nice actually. Nice enough for him to look up at the canopy of leaves and feel the leftover droplets of rain fall from between the cracks.

     Nothing seemed to bother him like it used to. Instead he only allowed the nature to distract him from the ache in his heart. He tried hard not to think about the conversation again. As much as he wanted to give in an sob he resisted. The anxiety was looming again and his only option was to walk away from it. So he sat on a log and pulled out his Swiss Army knife. He flicked it a couple times before he started to carve things in to the wood next to him. At first he just carved lines and hashed through them until it was just a square of freshly cut wood. Then he started to make patterns and designs, and even got off the log to carve more of it. It successfully distracted him more until he accidentally carved too far and nicked his thumb.

     Keith hissed at the sharp contact and dropped the knife on the ground. He looked down as scarlet oozed from his thumb and sighed before sucking it clean in his mouth. The salty coppery taste filled his mouth and when he pulled it out the bleeding only continued. He picked up his knife and closed it before getting up and looking around. For the time being he held his thumb in his mouth so he wouldn't bleed all over his jacket. The sound of rushing water came to Keith's ears and he followed it until he found a nearby creek. He submerged his cut thumb under the cold water and shivered at just how freezing it was. There was no way for him to tell the time, so he didn't know if it was just cold for the morning or if it was the afternoon yet.

     Either way it didn't matter because he stopped caring really. All he could focus on was the blood spilling from his cut under the water. The once bright color was diluted in the water, but when he pulled it up it was bright again. His brain was telling him to cover up the cut and to stop the bleeding, but instead he merely submerged it again.

     The water reminded him of Lance. It also reminded him that he had English that day, and that he wasn't going to see Lance. He clenched his teeth and glared at his reflection. Thoughts like that was what got him in this mess, but he couldn't stop them. He wanted to see Lance everyday. No matter how stupid he was or how obnoxious he was Keith wanted him. He couldn't ignore the things Lance made him feel. He made Keith feel warm, and protected, and comfortable. Just his presence alone made Keith relax and crave contact, intimacy, affection. Things he 's never wanted before.

     Suddenly Keith was crying. Hot tears spilled over his cheeks and fell down in to the creek. When he realized it he wiped them away, but they only came back faster. His throat burned and he couldn't bare to look at himself any longer. So instead he covered his face with his palms and cried in to them. He cried like a baby as he sat there unmoving. Soon it started to get dark, but he didn't care. He was too fucking sad, and too fucking tired, and too fucking scared to care. His sobs cracked from exhaustion due to crying for too long and he ended up vomiting next to the creek from breathing too hard.

     The boy moved away from his puke and washed his mouth out with the creek water. He let it dribble from his lips after spitting it out and sighed. It was definitely starting to get dark now, but he had no desire to go back home. Instead he laid down on his side and tapped his fingers in the water. He watched the ripples and pretended it was Lance's warm body he was falling asleep next to instead of the forest's body of water. Tears still continued to leak down the side of his face until he finally dozed off and fell asleep.



"Keith? Ke-ith! Where are you?"

     Distant shouting met Keith's ears, but he didn't respond. It sounded muffled. As if there were still a hundred feet of trees between himself and the voice. It sounded familiar. Feminine. Almost irritated.

"Keith! Keith, c'mon! I'll let you eat my pudding cup at lunch tomorrow! No, I'll let you eat my pudding cups at lunch all month!l"

     Another voice. Deeper and more lighthearted. It was still worried, but it was a little bit closer. Then Keith was assaulted with a bright light and he squeezed his eyes shut.

"Kogane! What the fuck are you doing!" Shouted a more aggressive voice.

     He blinked his eyes open and saw a light bouncing closer to him through the creek. The figure splashed in the water as he pushed himself up off the ground and he was suddenly met with a warm yet wet embrace. His eyes widened in surprise as the soaked figure held him tightly. The scent. The embrace. It was all too familiar. When Lance pulled back and glared at him Keith didn't know what to say.

"What the hell are you doing out here! We've been worried sick about you all fucking day! Do you have any idea how fucking worried we all were? Your mom was sobbing, asshole!" He shouted. Keith watched as Lance scolded him. The bottom of his face illuminated by the flashlight, and the rest invaded in shadow.

"Lance…" was all he could say. Lance frowned and bit his lip.

"C'mon, Kogane. You can't do things like this," he said softer.

"I didn't realize-"

"What? That people care about you? Well, we do, Keith!" Lance interrupted.

"I'm sorry," Keith whispered and reached out with trembling hands. Lance sighed and hugged him again.

"Just…promise me you won't do it again," he pleaded quietly. Keith finally got the chance to hug Lance back, and squeezed him with all his might.

"I promise."


"How could you do this to me and your mother! We were worried sick about you!" Alan shouted at Keith. He winced at the sudden volume. Lance had been loud before, but after that he was only met with gentleness and kindness from Pidge and Hunk.

"Keith!" Sarah gasped and rushed over to her son to encase him in a hug. "Are you okay? Where have you been I was looking all over for you," she nearly cried.

"We found him next to the creek behind the school," Lance told them.

"Thank you so much for finding him. I don't know what I would've done had you and your friends not offered to help," she gushed.

"It's no problem. We were worried too," Lance assured her and patted Keith's shoulder. Sarah then focused on her child.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you cold? What were you thinking leaving like that?" She questioned at 100mph.

"I'm fine," Keith mumbled.

"His thumb was bleeding. I put a bandaid on it," Pidge spoke up. Sarah took Keith's hands and looked to see which one was injured. She then kissed the bandaid on his left thumb.

"How'd it happen? Did you cut yourself?"

"It was an accident," Keith answered.

"He didn't tell us much," Hunk said.

"Yeah. We got him to talk a little about it, but he said it was personal," Pidge added.

"Thank you so much. All of you," Sarah sighed.

"Don't thank us. We're all glad Keith is safe," Lance said. Keith's heart stuttered and he looked over at the tall boy. Blue shifted over to him and his eyes started to water again.

"Oh, Keith. It's okay. You're okay," his mother cooed as she cupped his face and wiped away the tears. He allowed her to tug his gaze away from Lance and back to her.

"Okay," he whispered.

"Sarah. I think it's time for Keith to come inside and rest," Alan spoke. His voice still sounded agitated, but calmer from before. She nodded.

"Yes. Of course. Thanks again," Sarah smiled at Keith's friends and then guided him inside.

     He looked back at Lance, Hunk, and Pidge over his shoulder and watched as they waved at him. Then he waved back and stepped inside his house. The moment he was inside he knew his father's cool demeanor was about to quickly break in half.

"What the hell were you thinking?" He shouted. Keith flinched and hunched his shoulders.

"Alan, please calm down," Sarah begged.

"He just ran off! Didn't even go to school! Did he think we wouldn't notice?" He snapped.

"I know, but shouting at him isn't going to fix anything," Sarah replied.

"Well he needs to know that what he did was wrong, Sarah! If he wants to be treated like a boy then he needs to understand tough love, and I am not going to be gentle about this!" Alan continued.


"Cough it up. I'm taking away your Swiss Army knife," Alan interrupted holding out his hand. Keith reluctantly pulled the knife from his pocket and deposited it in his father's hand. "Is this what you cut yourself with?"

"I-it was an accident," Keith stuttered.

"He didn't mean to-"

"This was for self-defense only, not self-harm. Got that?"

"I didn't mea-"

"You shouldn't have been playing with it. End of story."

"But, da-"

"No buts, Cynthia!" Alan shouted. 

     It was suddenly silent in their living room. Sarah stared at her husband with shock and disbelief. Alan's face was beat red at the mistake he had made. Keith looked like he was in a world of pain as it dripped down over his face again. Watery eyes stared up at Alan and he couldn't bare to look at them. So Keith's father looked away and stressfully ran a hand through his hair.

"Look…I'm sorry. I-I didn't mean to, okay? It just slipped out, okay? Okay Keith?" He said softly. Alan held Keith's shoulders and squeezed them affectionately. "Okay, Keith? I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to," he continued to whisper and then hugged Keith.

     Keith was quiet as tears rushed down his face and he hugged his father back. It was the first time he had ever hugged his dad and he instantly took note of the difference between his dad and his mom and Lance. His dad was also warm, but he wasn't as warm as his mom. It was evident he was trying, but it lacked understanding and willingness. Like he was holding himself back. That or something else was holding him back.

"I'm sorry," Keith muttered.

"What was that?" Alan asked pulling away. Keith wiped away his tears with the sleeves of his jacket.

"I-I'm sorry I took Cynthia away from you…I'm sorry about…a-about being t-too queer," he stammered and stuttered.


"I'm sorry I-I turned out this w-way. I-I'm sorry I'm embarrassing t-to t-talk about and-"

"Keith, honey no," Sarah came in and cradled his head to her chest.

"I'm s-so s-sorry," he sobbed.

     Alan and Sarah looked at each other and then down at their sobbing child. It was evident to them that he had heard their conversation the previous night. They were filled with guilt and sadness as all Keith could do was cry in his mothers embrace. The worst part was that they had no idea what to do. They didn't know what to say to make him feel better, or what to do to make him comfortable. Most of all they didn't know how the hell they were gonna fix this.

Chapter Text

"Hey, Keith, what did you get on that quiz?" Lance asked. Keith grinned and let Lance rest his chin on his shoulder.

"93," he said.

"What the hell! I got a 92!" He cried. Keith laughed.

"It's okay, Lance. You might beat me one day," Keith assured him and patted his shoulder. Lance pouted.

"This isn't fair. How do you keep getting one more point than me?" He whined. Keith shrugged.

"How am I supposed to know?"

"Well you apparently know everything so I wouldn't be surprised if you knew the secret," Lance replied.

"According to my grade I only now 93 percent of everything. At least 93 percent of everything from chapter five to chapter eight."

"Oh har har. Whatever. I just need to study up."

"Does calling me the night before an assignment is due for the answers count as 'studying up'?" Keith teased. Lance stuck his tongue out at him.

"Whatever, Kogane."

     Keith smiled and rolled his eyes. He was glad to say he had recovered from his little incident. After a rather emotional and honest conversation with his parents and another day off of school he was feeling a lot better. They explained how they were trying really hard and that in the end they wanted him to be happy, but it was only natural for them to slip up now and then. Keith accepted that and explained how he didn't want to be the way he was only for his mother to insist that he was perfect the way he was. It was hard and it was exhausting, but in the end he was thankful it happened. Nearly a week has passed since then and he was happy that things were pretty much normal now.

     One of the best feelings in the world was when Lance asked if he was okay the day he returned. After that Keith could tell Lance paid a little bit more attention to him. Even during their petty arguments and teasing Lance seemed to have more cation and care with each word he spoke. Lance, Hunk, and Pidge still weren't entirely sure what had set him off, and whenever they asked he merely said it was a personal issue. They left it at that after asking a few times, and Keith was thankful for that. Although it felt like Lance never entirely let it go like Hunk and Pidge. For some reason Keith liked that.

"Hey, uh…are you doing anything this weekend?" Lance asked. Keith blinked at him.

"Probably not. Why?" He replied.

"Well, like its my birthday and stuff and my mom wants me to bring a friend over for my birthday dinner and whatever," he explained.

"Oh…are you…do you want me to come?" Keith asked. Lance shrugged.

"I usually just invite Hunk because if I bring Pidge my mom will plan us a wedding since she's a girl. But this time he's busy with a band thing, so uh…you're the only other person I'd invite to my house," he said. Keith smiled a little.

"Yeah, sure. I'd love to come," Keith nodded. Lance smiled back.

"Good. I hope you like Mexican food."

"I usually eat whatever is put in front of me," Keith shrugged. Lance chuckled.

"Remind me to never put anything poisonous in front of you," he joked. Keith laughed and rolled his eyes.

"Hey, McClain." The two boys looked over at a girl approaching their table. Keith recognized her as Larissa. She was the girl who accidentally took Lance's spot.

"What's up, McDonald. Still looking fine I see," he said with a flirty grin.

"Can I talk to you?" She asked.

"I'm right here, babe. Talk to me all you want."

"I mean without your 'friend'," she said using her fingers for air quotes.

     Lance blinked at her. His flirty attitude melted away as he stood up and followed her away from his desk. Keith tried not to watch them as they talked, but couldn't help but sneak a peek every now at then. From what he could tell Lance was rather uncomfortable…a little upset…and-oh.


He was mad.


     Before he knew it Lance was back in his seat fuming. Keith was a little hesitant to say something. He's never really seen Lance so mad like this. It was slightly terrifying. In the end he didn't need to say anything because he was suddenly talking.

"This is…this is unbelievable. Ridiculous. Just…ugh!"


"Y'wanna know what Larissa just told me?" Lance snapped. Keith flinched.


"She told me that people are spreading rumors that I'm queer or something! People are saying that I like you and that we're secretly dating and that's just…so stupid!" He said. Keith tried to ignore how much that hurt him.

"T-that is pretty stupid…who started it?"

"I dunno. Some asshole who has too much time on their hands…ugh. Just because people are like accepting it now doesn't mean everyone is fucking gay. This is just rude."


"But anyways…I'll write down my address for you. My birthday is on Saturday."

"I'll be there."



     A sigh escaped Keith's lips as he watched Lance across the cafeteria. He was talking with some girl he had just met, and he was wearing a ridiculous grin as he leaned his forearm over her head on the wall. Keith didn't want to submit to the jealousy he felt, so instead he wallowed in self pity. Hunk and Pidge were going on and on about something from Lego robotics, so they didn't really notice his apparent melancholy.

     The girl he was talking to was short and cute with dark hair and slanted eyes. She giggled as Lance continued to flirt with her, and appeared to love the attention. When she pulled out a piece of paper and started writing something down Keith instantly knew Lance had acquired her digits. He hated it. He hated Lance's smug grin more as he kissed her cheek and walked back to their group. Keith pretended to be focused on his pudding.

"What was that about?" Hunk asked.

"Oh nothing. Just reclaiming my title as the local womanizer," Lance said with a sly smirk. Keith rolled his eyes and Pidge laughed.

"Gross," Pidge chuckled.

"He's probably trying to reestablish his heterosexuality since Larissa told him people are spreading rumors that he's gay," Keith said.

"What?" Hunk gasped.

"Aw, c'mon, Keith. They didn't need to know about that," Lance whined.

"Well you haven't been asking out chicks recently," Pidge nodded.

"Well…I was a little distracted with school. Do I have to be constantly scopin' out babes to be considered straight?" Lance defended. Keith remained silent and ate his pudding.

"You have a point, but like I don't remember you being this focused on school ever," Hunk said.

"I found someone I could finally compete with," Lance said vaguely. He lightly punched Keith's shoulder and the pale boy looked up at him.


"We always compare quiz scores, and he's always one damn point above me!" Lance said. Hunk and Pidge laughed.

"Nice going, Keith," Hunk nodded. Keith shrugged.

"It's not that hard to beat him. Besides. He always asks for help on the questions so I sometimes give him wrong answers," Keith replied.


"Oh, nice one," Pidge grinned and held up their hand. Keith stuck his spoon full of pudding in his mouth and then high fived them.

"You're cruel," Lance accused. Keith merely shrugged again. He didn't really feel bad about it. In his eyes it was Lance who was being cruel anyways.



"You're okay, right? You changed your binder so you're all set for the rest of the night? Are you hydrated?" Sarah asked parked outside of Lance's house.

"Yes, mom, I'm fine," Keith insisted.

"How's the shirt? Is it too tight? Oh your cowlick is going crazy again," she said and licked her thumb to reach over and fix it. Keith pulled away from his mom and groaned.

"Ugh. Chill out mom it's just dinner for his birthday," Keith groaned.

"I know I know, but I want you to look presentable," Sarah insisted and continued to reach for the cowlick.

"Serious-mOM!" He protested and pushed her hand away. She sighed and finally gave up.

"Okay, fine, but how's the shirt? I tried to find something that wasn't too tight," she said. Keith looked down at the red flannel.

"It's fine. I'm wearing a teeshirt under it anyways. It's baggy enough," he told her. She nodded and smiled.

"Good…oh you look so handsome. I'm sure he'll fall in love with you the moment he-"

"Whoa, mom! Calm down, okay? I-it's not like that, okay?" Keith stuttered turning red. She smiled again and nodded.

"Okay…now go and have fun," she said.

"I'll see you at ten," he nodded and got out of the car.

     They waved goodbye to each other and Sarah drove away. Keith was left standing in front of Lance's house anxious and a little scared. He told himself to get over it, and then walked up to the front door. His knuckles barely brushed the door when it was suddenly whipped back. He blinked at Lance in front of him and opened his mouth to speak only to be shushed.

"I wanted to answer first before my mom got ahold of you. Just so you know, she'll talk your ear off-"

"Lance? Who's at the door?" Called a feminine voice in a light Spanish accent.

"Uh, it's my friend!" He called back.

"Bring him inside! Don't leave him in the cold!" The voice shouted.

"Si, mamá," Lance replied and let Keith in. It was warm and there was a yummy smell in the air. Keith instantly felt a sense of welcome and love and let Lance close the door behind him.

"Uh, you can take your shoes off here," he said. Keith nodded and took off his black converse.

"This looks nice-"

"Hermano! Hermano! Hermano!" Shrieked a shrill voice followed by laughter as two small kids rushed in through the hall. They instantly attacked Lance's legs and he picked up the one shouting hermano.

"Hola, chico," Lance grinned. The small boy looked at Lance and then at Keith. He then leaned closer to whisper in his older brother's ear and Lance laughed.

"This is my friend, amigo, Keith," Lance said and turned more towards Keith. Suddenly the little girl at Lance's feet started chattering in Spanish, and Keith didn't catch a single word out of her mouth.

"Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down, chica. I didn't forget about you." The tall boy set down his brother and the picked up his sister.

"This is Tina and down there is Charlie," Lance introduced his siblings to Keith. Keith smiled at the little girl.

"Hello," he said.

"Hola," she replied with a toothy grin. Keith chuckled.

"They're so cute."

"Yeah. They're cute for a few minutes and then they're annoying as heck. I can't imagine what kinda stuff I put my older siblings through," Lance murmured and set down Tina.

"How many siblings do you have?" Keith asked.

"Uh like…four. These troublemakers and two older ones in college."

"Oh. That must be…nice?" Lance chuckled.

"You've never had siblings before, have you?"

"Not at all."

"Well, it's not all sunshine and roses, but it's definitely special."

"So I've heard."

"Yeah, but-" Lance was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Hold on." He opened the door and was instantly greeted with excited yelling.

"Ayyeee! Lance, mi primo!" A boy probably a year older than Lance smiled. Lance grinned back and accepted the other boys gesture.

"Hey! Fernando! How are you?" Lance replied.

"I'm good, dude. Who's this?" He asked referring to Keith.

"Oh, this is Keith. He's a friend from school," Lance said touching Keith's shoulder. "Keith, this is my cousin Fernando."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Keith said holding out his hand.

"Nice to see you too, man," Fernando replied with a smile and gave him a rather firm handshake. "You ever had tía's cooking before?"


"Tía means aunt. He's talking about my mom," Lance quickly explained.

"Oh. No, I have-"

"Then prepare to have your mind blown, dude."



     The amount of food that Keith ate that night was ridiculous. Between the rice and beans and tortillas and the various dishes he couldn't pronounce he felt like he couldn't eat again. Lance's mother was a very sweet woman. She was short and a little plump, but absolutely gorgeous much like the boy she gave birth to. Keith figured he got his height from his dad who was at work at that moment. Fernando was his cousin on his mother's side so he was also a little short and a little plump, but he was taller that Lance's mom. He was a little loud, but so were Tina and Charlie. They all chatted at the dinner table, but Keith could only understand so much of it. Lance was kind enough to translate a little bit, and whenever anyone addressed him directly they always spoke in English. Except for the kids. They seemed to only know Spanish and a few English words.

"Keith, do you want anymore food?" Lance's mom, Ana, asked.

"Oh uh, no. Sorry, I'm stuffed," Keith replied rubbing his stomach.

"Are you sure? I'm putting it away after this."

"Yes, he's sure, mamá," Lance said in a mildly annoyed tone.

"Alright. If you insist. Why don't you two hangout in the living room. Fernando will help me with dishes since its tu cumpleaños," she told Lance.

"Okay, mamá," Lance replied and stood up.

     Keith followed him to the couch and sat down with him. Before they could start chatting Tina and Charlie came giggling after them. Lance sighed and let Charlie sit next to him while Tina completely crawled in to Keith's lap. The boys giggled as she made herself comfortable and started speaking in Spanish again. Lance responded to her and Keith raised a brow.

"She said that you're very handsome. Like the people on TV," Lance told him. Keith chuckled.

"Wow, uh…how do I say thank you?" He asked.

"You say gracias, niña bonita."

"Gracias, niña bonita," Keith repeated smiling down at her. His accent was a little off, but Tina blushed and giggled anyways.

"Hey, what's up dudes?" Fernando asked as he leaned against the wall next to them.

"Aren't you supposed to be helping my mom do dishes?" Lance replied a little shortly.

"Yeah, but I'm still a little curious about your friend. He didn't talk much during dinner," he said. Lance sighed. He seemed a little displeased with Fernando's presence.

"Well, he's right here. Ask him anything I guess," Lance told him. Fernando nodded and looked at Keith.

"What's up with your hair?" He asked. Keith blinked.

"My…hair?" He asked reaching up to touch a few strands.

"Yeah it's all long in the back. Did you miss a spot?" Keith shrugged.

"No I…I just don't like my nape exposed," he answered. Which was true.

"Oh. Okay. You're Lance's age, right?"

"A couple months younger, but yeah 17-18."

"You gotta girlfriend?" That seemed random. Lance raised a brow in response and Keith blushed a little.

"N-no. I'm not interested in-"


"What? N-no, I was gonna say dating," Keith stuttered.

"Fernando, what are you getting at?" Lance challenged.

"I dunno, man. He seems a little queer to me," Fernando said eying Keith. Everything around Keith seemed to crash when he heard the word "queer". Fuck.

"Cut it out, you're being rude, Fer-"

"Dude…" Fernando leaned down and whispered in to Lance's ear and he instantly got mad.

"Seriously, dude, that's not cool. Your worse than kids at school," Lance spat and hit his shoulder. Ana yelled something from the kitchen and Fernando chuckled.

"Yeah, Lance. No hitting," he snarked.

"Go back and help my mom," Lance growled. Fernando did and left Lance mad and Keith in utter confusion and slight embarrassment.

"Do…do I wanna know what he said?" Keith said softly.

"He thinks you like me or something. Can you believe that?" Lance grumbled.

"Well…I mean, we're friends so…we like each other at least a little bi-"

"Ew, don't put it that way," Lance snapped. Pain radiated from Keith's chest. He instantly felt the sting in his eyes and the tremble in his breath. Lance noticed and then shifted uncomfortably. "I mean…yeah we like each other but like…no homo, man."

     No homo. Was he being serious? It didn't feel like no homo when Lance hugged him in the hall. It surely didn't feel like no homo when Lance found him in the forest. It definitely didn't feel like no homo when Lance brought him home and said they were all glad Keith was safe. None of it felt like Lance was being completely honest. If anything most of the time he was lying, and Keith was sick of it.

     Keith took Tina off of his lap and literally ran away. He didn't care for Lance's call of concern, nor his shoes at the door, and he especially didn't care for the wet grass that soaked his socks. The door was left open behind him and he ran in the direction of his own home until he couldn't run anymore. His chest convulsed under his binder and his heart was all over the place. He nearly collapsed on the sidewalk, but thankfully sat down in time to calm down. He took deep breaths and tried to pacify the trembling in his hands as fast footsteps approached him. Soon enough Lance had caught up to him and was panting. He wasn't gasping for breath like Keith was, but he probably most definitely wasn't wearing a chest binder.

"Dude…what the hell is your problem?" He nearly shouted. Keith wasn't paying attention to Lance. Instead he was softly crying and sniffling in to his forearms.

"Aw, c'mon dude. Stop that," he spoke a little quieter.

"Just…leave m-me alone," Keith managed.

"Keith, no. I'm not gonna leave you alone just so I can find you in the forest agai-"

"I promised I wouldn't, Lance. Okay? Don't words mean anything to you?" He interrupted curtly.

     It was silent between them. The only thing that filled the space was the sound of the singing crickets. Lance sighed and sat down on the curb next the Keith. The pale boy shifted away slightly and Lance bit his lip.

"Fernando…he's an asshole, okay? He didn't mean it. And…and y-y'know being gay isn't bad. It's just…a little harder for others to accept, right?" Lance said. Keith rolled his eyes and faced himself away from Lance.

"I…okay…listen. I can trust you right?" Keith was silent. "I'm serious, dude. I need to know you won't tell this to anyone," he told him seriously. Keith peeked over at him, and he could tell Lance was being completely sincere. He nodded.

"Okay…" Lance trailed off and rested his arms on his knees. "I…I dunno if I'm completely straight," he confessed. Keith's eyes widened. "I just…I love girls, don't get me wrong, but like…I dunno how to explain it. I'm not gay, but I'm not straight. I guess…I'm somewhere in the middle? Or at least mostly straight? Like no matter how much I want to push that little bit away I can't, y'know? Except you…probably…don't know…sorry."

"I know," Keith murmured. Lance looked over at him.

"You…you do?" He asked. Keith nodded.

"Like you can't help it, and whenever someone mentions queer or gay you get nervous. Your hands shake, you feel sweaty…"

"Yeah, exactly," Lance nodded. Keith turned to face Lance and pulled his arms away from his face.

"Like its not just being attracted to someone, but it's a feeling in your chest that you can't get rid of."

"Yes…yes, exactly!" Lance exclaimed moving closer. Keith hesitated and fixed the wrinkles in Lance's shirt.

"Like…you just get close to someone and…all you wanna do is get closer…no matter what gender he is?" Keith whispered and let his hand linger over Lance's shoulder. Lance nodded. His breath came out in clouds and Keith could feel the warmth against his lips.


"Like this guy is unlike any other guy I've met before, and I don't know how to deal with the things he makes me feel," Lance said. A shiver ran up Keith's spine and he closed his eyes to appreciate the deepness and softness of Lance's voice. He nodded and felt warm fingers brush against his.

"Like when you touch it's amazing…" Lance trailed off as Keith allowed him to press their palms together. "…and you can't wait until you're alone so you can just…let it out," Lance murmured and intertwined their fingers. Keith opened his eyes and found Lance staring at him. He swallowed hard and nodded.

"Yeah. I know that," Keith said. Lance bit his lip.


"Mijo! Lance! Come home right now!" Ana called from the distance. Lance cursed.

"Coming mamá!"

Chapter Text

     Keith had changed since the beginning of the school year. At least Lance thought he had. It was kinda hard to tell, but there was some kind of slow and steady change. There was something about his voice that was deeper, and his jaw was sharper, and his attitude more confident. Or maybe Lance was just getting to know him better and he never noticed these things before. Maybe the more Lance liked him the more visually pleasing he was. Lance hoped it wasn't that because Keith was already ridiculously visually pleasing to him.

     Of course he tried to resist at first. He flirted with as many girls as he could just to find someone that interested him as much as Keith. While he found a lot of really cute and enjoyable girls there was something about them that was lacking. Something that only Keith had. It was something about him that Lance just couldn't resist. He couldn't leave it alone. No matter how much he fought it he wanted to be around Keith. Now that it was obvious to everyone else he knew he had to put a cap on it. Little did he know it was hurting Keith too. Well he didn't know until Keith ran off and Lance found him crying and hyperventilating on the sidewalk. He didn't know what to do or what to say, but after his mother called him inside he didn't regret a single word. In fact it was Keith who let go of Lance's hand when they went inside.

     The next day at school they didn't have a class together, but when they saw each other in the hall they gave each other a nod of acknowledgment. That wasn't what Lance wanted to do. He wanted to give Keith a warm smile, walk over to him, greet him with a soft kiss on the cheek, and ask him how his day was. But he couldn't. Not with all these people around them. Judging their every move and deciding their value based on how they acted. Figuring out which insult to harass them with. Which slur they'd throw their way. How hard they would be punched for being queer. It was a different feeling now that he was aware of how he felt. Now it was a lot more terrifying than just Larissa telling him kids are spreading rumors that he's gay. Evidently that didn't take away girls attraction to Keith for some reason.

"Hey, Lance. How's it going with your boyfriend," a girl teased in his government class. He rolled his eyes.

"Afternoon, Tracy," he greeted blandly. The brunette grinned at him.

"I'm just kidding. I know you're as straight as an arrow," she assured him and winked. Lance faked a smile.

"You wanna be my bow then?" He purred. She giggled.

"Maybe…then again I've had my eye on someone else recently," she replied.

"Aw, Trace, you're breaking my heart," Lance pouted playfully.

"Sorry, Lance, but if the rumors are true you have great taste in men." Lance lifted a brow.

"Uh…but they're not true."

"Hm, then you wouldn't mind if I nibbled off a little bit of your boyfriend then?" She asked. Lance glared at her.

"Keith?" He questioned. Tracy nodded.

"I dunno if it's the water he's drinking or something, but he's hot. Like at the beginning of the year he was really cute, but now he's model worthy," she said. He frowned.

"I don't see it," he lied. Tracy rolled her eyes.

"C'mon. Just because you're straight doesn't mean you can't acknowledge another man's beauty."

"It kinda does."

"Whatever. If you can't see it then there's more for me. His dark hair and that jaw line," she sighed dreamily. "I wanna sit on his face."

"Jesus Christ, Tracy. Way to be a slut," Lance sneered. She glared at him.

"Like you're one to talk, Lance. All you do is collect numbers."


"I don't think even you know where your virginity is," she accused. Lance shrugged.

"It's wherever I left it with a very lucky lady," he winked. Tracy rolled her eyes again.

"Whatever. Do you know what lunch he has? I'm gonna try and get his number," Tracy asked.

"I think he has second lunch both days," he told her reluctantly.

"Perfect. You should come for moral support."

"No thanks, mamacita. I have actual things to do."

"Seriously, Lance. I've never talked to him before and I need you to be my wingman," she urged. He sighed.

"I'll do it for one of those kinder eggs your cousin sends you," Lance gave in. Tracy squealed with delight and hugged Lance.

"Thank you thank you thank you!" She giggled just as the bell rang.

"Ah! Perfect timing! Let's go find him!" She said tugging Lance's arm. Lance followed her down to the cafeteria and lifted his brows as if to say are-you-serious?

"He doesn't eat here on day twos," he told her.

"What? Then where does he eat?" She asked. Lance sighed and lead her upstairs to the library.

     Surely enough Keith was sat at one of the various desks in the library reading a book. He was munching on an apple with a half eaten sandwich forgotten in front of him. His eyes read through the text in his book and he wiped the apple juice from his chin with the sleeve of his usual hoodie. Lance couldn't help but smile a little at how the juice dribbled from his pink lips. He wondered if it would taste good because of the apple or because of Keith's lips. He suspected the latter.


"You go talk to him first, okay? Tell him I'm really popular and cute and I'll be here pretending to read," Tracy said picking up a book and opening to a random page. Lance snapped out of his day dream and nodded.

"Alright alright," he muttered and walked over to Keith's table. The pale boy instantly noticed Lance approach him and smiled. He dog-eared his book and set it to the side.

"Hey," he greeted with a mouthful of apple.

"What? Were you raised in a barn? Swallow before you talk," Lance scolded and smiled back before sitting down next to him. Keith rolled his eyes and put down his apple.

"What's up?" He asked. Lance sighed.

"I have this friend named Tracy and she's super in to you…" Lance stopped when he noticed the same are-you-serious look he had earlier. "Okay, here me out please. I know you're not interesting in dating anyone, but she won't leave me alone unless I introduce you to her or something," he explained. Keith chuckled a little. "What?"

"Nothing, it's just funny," Keith said.

"What's so funny about it?" Lance demanded to know. Keith shrugged.

"It's just funny. You're kinda like a wingman right now."

"A bad one," Lance grumbled.
"Well is she nice?" Keith asked. Lance gave him a weird look.

"What? Are you interested in her?"

"You know I'm not inter-"

"Okay okay…but you wanna get to know her?"

"I guess. I mean, I'm not just gonna refuse to talk to her. That's rude. Besides, maybe if one of us gets a girlfriend…the rumors will stop," he replied. Lance blinked. It only occurred to him how much he absolutely hated the idea of Keith dating someone.

"I-I'll get a girlfriend. You don't have to," Lance blurted. Keith furrowed his brows.


"Yeah…b-but it won't mean anything, y'know? It'll just…it'll make the rumors stop," Lance continued. Keith blushed and looked down at his lunch.

"I don't care," he muttered.

"Right…uh…I'll tell her you…hate her or something," he stammered and stood up.

"Wait, no. Lance!" Keith called, but Lance was already walking away.

"What happened? What was that about?" Tracy asked as Lance walked past her.

"He hates you. Sorry he doesn't like brunettes," he lied. Tracy's jaw dropped.


"He's just not interested in dating anyone! He hates people!" Lance called and ran off. Tracy sighed and put the book back on the shelf.

"Lance McClain you are one strange boy."



     Achieving a girlfriend turned out to be difficult. It could've had to do something to do with the gay rumors. Or maybe Lance was off his game. It goes without saying that by the end of the day he was girlfriend-less and exhausted. He was ready to take off for the day and drive home. Now that he was eighteen his mother let him drive the car to school, so he was grateful for the fact that he didn't have to ride the bus anymore. He'd have to thank his mother again when he got home.

     The last bell rang and Lance visited his locker really quick before heading to the front door. He passed the library and paused. Logic told him that Keith didn't have a fourth period both days, but he couldn't help but feel a tiny bit of curiosity. Keith was in the library before…maybe he was still in there?

     Lance took a deep breath and then peeked inside the library. As his gut told him Keith was still at the same desk he was at during lunch. Except now he was fast asleep with his book over turned next to him. He was bent over the desk resting his head on his arm and drool starting to gather on the fabric of his jacket. Lance tried to ignore how incredibly cute that was and looked around the Library from the entrance. Once he was certain it was empty he ventured in and sat across from Keith as he slept.

     Was it a little creepy to watch Keith sleep? Probably, but Lance didn't really care. He sunk down to rest his chin on the desk all while keeping his eyes on Keith. The pale boy was breathing slowly and his hair was a little bit messy. Probably from sleeping on a school desk for presumedly an hour and a half. Lance didn't resist the urge to reach over and fix the few strands out of place. To his surprise Keith's hair was pretty soft. He couldn't recall if he had ever felt it before. Perhaps when he hugged him a couple times, but he never had the time to really appreciate its thick texture. He pulled his hand away, but let it linger down Keith's arm until he got to his pale fingers. Lance took a shaky breath and remembered how it felt to hold Keith's hand. It felt fucking fantastic, and he absolutely wanted to do it again.

"Mmm…Lance?" Lance looked up to see Keith blink his eyes open. He then rubbed the sleep away from them and wiped the drool from his mouth. "What…what are you doing here?" He asked sleepily. Lance's heart clenched as he felt the desire to hold Keith and be closer again.

"Uh…the bell rang," he said stupidly. Keith furrowed his brows and yawned.

"Which period is it?" He murmured.

"Dismissal," Lance answered and smiled a little. Keith blinked and then laughed tiredly.

"I fell asleep," he stated.

"Thank you, captain obvious," Lance snarked and grinned. Keith laughed again and then sighed.

"My mom is probably gonna freak out. I'm usually home before her and it takes like a half hour to walk home," he groaned.

"When does she get home?" Lance asked.

"Like…four or something," Keith answered and rubbed at his eyes again.

"I could drive you home," Lance offered. The dark-haired boy blinked awake.


"My mom let me drive to school now that I'm 18. I've had my license for almost two years so you can ride in my car," Lance told him.

"Oh…that's very nice of you, but my house is probably out of the way-"

"It's okay, dude. I don't mind," Lance assured him. Keith thought for a moment and then looked at the time.

"I guess…if you don't mind," Keith sighed. Lance grinned.


     They made their way out of the library and out of the school. Lance had his brother's old car, so it was rather old fashioned and it was a stick shift. It took him a little while to transition from an automatic to a stick, but once he got the hang of it he couldn't imagine going back. That was good because it was the only extra car and his dad hates stick and his mother could barely drive an automatic. He was amazed she could even get home from work without crashing. She blamed it on her height.

     Keith sat in the passenger seat and hugged his backpack to his chest while Lance tossed his in the back. He was still kinda sleepy and tried to keep his eyes open. Lance chuckled a little when he noticed Keith dozing off with half lidded eyes.

"Mm? What?" Keith asked.

"Nothing, just…" he hesitated. "You're funny when you're sleepy," he said. In his head he said cute, but in reality Keith shrugged.

"I'm not paying attention to mostly everything," he said. Lance smiled.

"So what street do you live on?" He asked.

"Uh…I forgot," he admitted. Lance lifted a brow.

"Do you know how to get to your house?"

"Yes…uh…kinda…not by car," he admitted. Lance sighed.

"You're an idiot."

"I just woke up, okay? Calm yourself," he defended and rubbed his eyes again. He took a piece of paper out of his backpack, read it, and then handed it to Lance.

"Here. It's my address and like phone and zip code stuff my mom wrote down for me in times I forget."

"You mean all the time?" Lance sassed and accepted the paper.

"Shut up," Keith grumbled.

"Oh you don't live too far away from my house actually," he said.


"Yeah. You're cul de sac is like two or three blocks away from my house," Lance told him.

"Wow. Amazing," Keith sighed and leaned his head back.

     Lance glance over at him and noticed Keith's jaw again. He had a very (very) slight Adam's apple and Lance could see a little bit of scruff around his jaw line. He really was ridiculously attractive, and Tracy was right. Even Lance kinda wanted to sit on his face too. He wasn't sure how that would work, but it didn't matter because it probably wasn't gonna happen. Instead he reached out and scratched at Keith's incoming beard. He pulled away and gave Lance a funny look.

"You're getting a little scruffy," Lance teased and felt the coarse hairs again.

     Keith's eyes widened and he pulled down the sun blocker to inspect himself in the mirror. Sure enough there were little black hairs sprouting around Keith's jaw and under his chin. His jaw dropped and he ran his fingers over the tiny hairs again and again. He couldn't believe his eyes or his fingers. His doctor told him it was one of the side effects of testosterone, but he never really believed it until he saw it for himself. And there it was. A grin split across his face.

"Whoa," he said and kept staring at his reflection. Lance chuckled a little and raised his brow.

"Have you never had facial hair before?" Lance asked. Keith snapped his eyes away from his reflection and blushed.

"Uh…" he glanced at Lance. "Is…is that weird?" He asked.

"Eh. Not really. I'm pretty sure some guys never grow facial hair at all. Like my dad said he didn't grow facial hair until like college. I get some, but it's all patchy so I shave it," Lance told him. Keith's grin instantly returned and he looked in the mirror again.

"Does it look good? Or is it too patchy?" He asked.

     Lance allowed himself to stare at Keith's neck and his jaw. With the other boy distracted Lance wetted his lips and bit his bottom one. It looked way too short for Lance to tell if it was patchy or not, but one thing that was for certain was that it looked good. Distractingly good. So good Lance wanted to lean closer and feel the scruff with his lips. He wanted to crawl over to the passenger seat and cover his pale neck in love bites until Keith was a panting mess underneath him. To feel the bob of his Adam's apple and claim Keith as his-


"I-it's too short to tell," Lance stuttered and quickly looked away to start the car.

"I don't ever wanna shave. This is so cool," he gushed and kept staring at the hairs.

     Lance smiled. It wasn't often Keith got excited like this. In fact Lance couldn't remember a time he was this excited. Keith just didn't seem to be excitable. It occurred to Lance that not a lot of people probably saw him like this. With that in mind he smiled wider and pulled out of his parking space.

"Put on your seatbelt, idiot," Lance said.

"Oh, right," Keith muttered and strapped his seatbelt in. He then noticed the smile on Lance's face.

"What's with the smile? Are you making fun of me?" He asked. Lance laughed and shook his head.

"Nah, I'm just…you look really happy and I guess it made me happy too," he replied. Keith blushed. "No homo, of course," he added. His blush disappeared.

"You are so dumb," Keith sighed and crossed his arms as he leaned back again.

"Maybe I am dumb. For some reason I can't find a girlfriend."

"Is that really a problem?"

"It didn't used to be. I probably had like…eight since freshman year. Technically nine, but I don't count one since it was a dare," Lance told him. Keith's eyes widened.

"What the hell? That's like three people per year from freshman year to junior year."

"It was more like one technically two freshman year, four sophomore year, and then two last year."

"How the hell do you even do that?" Keith questioned.

"You'd be surprised. With the number of girls after you this year you could easily have eight girlfriends," Lance informed him.

"What? That's like almost one girl per month!"

"Well probably less since you'll need a break in between."

"That's insane," Keith muttered and shook his head.

"You've got a pretty nice selection though. Stacy and Tracy are like two of the hottest girls in school. I mean they are like smoking. Absolut-"

"Lance," Keith interrupted.


"I don't like girls," he stated bluntly.

"Well, I don't always like girls either, we've been over thi-"

"I mean I don't like girls at all," he reiterated. Lance came to a sudden halt at the red stop light and looked at Keith with wide eyes.


"When I say I'm not interested in dating, I mean I'm not interested in girls," Keith said looking him in the eyes. Lance blinked at him and then back at the road in front of him.


"I thought I made that clear, but I uh…I guess not. Sorry."

"N-no! It's okay. Just…wow," he sighed and then laughed a little.

"That's uh…actually quite a bit of a relief to be honest."


"I'd probably go nuts if I saw you holding some girls hand."

Chapter Text

"Well, according to this tiny piece of paper, this is your house," Lance announce as he pulled up to Keith's house.

"Yup. That's it," he confirmed.

"Awesome," Lance nodded. Keith unbuckled his seat belt and started to get out when Lance spoke again.

"Wait, um…if you ever stay after fourth again I'd be happy to give you a ride, y'know? I usually park in the same spot anyways, so just meet me after the bell and we can go." Keith was silent for a moment before smiling and nodding.

"Okay…yeah. That sounds nice…riding with you…in your car…a-after school…um…"

"I mean I don't use it much for anything else besides school. Hunk's and Pidge's houses are like walking distance, and so is yours apparently, so it's not that big of a deal."

"Yeah. That makes sense. Thank you," Keith nodded again. Lance smiled and reached out to pat his shoulder.

"I like spending time with you too, so…" he trailed off awkwardly and cleared his throat. Keith snickered which caused the tan boy to blush. "W-what are you laughing at?"

"Nothing. It's just you literally told me a few minutes ago that you'd get jealous if I got a girlfriend and now you're telling me you like spending time with me," he grinned. Lance frowned.

"Fuck off."

"I'm just saying, dude…" Keith lost his train of thought as well as his smile as he saw his mom's car pull up to the driveway. "Ah shit."

"What? Is that your mom?" Lance asked.

"Yes," he hissed and rushed out of the car. "I'm sorry, but like you know how moms are I can't let her talk to-"


     Keith instantly slammed the car door and blocked the window with his body. He stared at his mother with wide eyes and red cheeks. She gave him a peculiar look and tried to peek around him.

"Keith, who's that?" She asked.

"N-no one! Nothing's happening!" He shouted. Sarah frowned.

"Don't lie to me, young man," she said in a stern voice.

"It's just a friend," Keith corrected.

"Oh, is it one of your nice friends who found you in the forest the other week?" She asked.


"Are you asking or telling?"

"…yes, it is."

"Why can't you tell me which one it is?" She question. Keith sighed. Resistance was futile at that point, so he moved out of the way. Lance smiled through the window and reached over to roll it down.

"Hello, Mrs. Kogane," he greeted.

"Well hello there, Lance. How are you?" She replied with a pleasant grin.

"I'm good, thank you. How are you?"

"I'm good as well."

"That's good. Are you dropping off Keith from school?" She inquired. He nodded.

"Yes, ma'am. I found him asleep in the library," Lance said and glanced at Keith.

"Oh, well thank you for bringing him home. I would've lost my head if he was late without telling me."

"It's no problem. He told me you might've worried a little, and my house isn't too far from here."

"Still. I'd love to thank you with more than words. How would you like to come over for dinner sometime?" She invited.

"Mom, no," Keith protested.

"I'd have to check with my parents first, but that sounds like a great idea," Lance responded and shot Keith a mischievous grin.

"You're dead to me," Keith deadpanned.

"Keith, that's no way to speak to your friend," his mother scolded.

"Yeah, Keith. Here I thought we were best buds for life, dude," he teased and reached out of his car to touch Keith's arm. The pale boy pulled away and even smacked at the tan hand reaching for him.

"Both of you are actively trying to make my life harder," Keith sighed. His mother laughed and pulled him closer to kiss the top of his head.

"I do it because I love you," she said. Lance snickered and Keith shot him a glare.

"Go away."



     Hunk liked horror movies. Unfortunately he was also the worlds biggest pussy when it came to guts and gore which a lot of horror films include. Still that didn't hold him back from enjoying the psychological thrillers. Even then he still watched the gory stuff, but he dragged Lance and Pidge along with him for moral support. It was rare though, so when he finally did find a bloody thriller he figured he would invite Keith as well for his semiannual scary movie slumber party.

     Pidge was allowed since their dad was a teacher at their school and he knew Hunk and Lance. Lance's dad said yes to everything even if he was asking to jump off a bridge. Keith…well Keith hadn't really gone to a lot of social stuff. He had pretty much no friends in Michigan and literally no real friends there either, so his mom would say yes to anything including friends. He didn't even know how to respond to an invite properly. Thankfully Hunk was pretty easy going, so it was a little easier to accept than Lance's invitation to his birthday dinner.

     That was about a week ago from the moment he was sat in Hunk's basement staring at the blank TV. Lance and Pidge were betting on how early the gore would start while Hunk was nervously fiddling with the movie box. Keith was merely waiting for the movie to start as he held one of the pillows from the couch. He glanced over at Lance and Pidge and noticed they were using real money. Which was interesting. Hunk on the other hand was worth more of his concern.

"You okay?" Keith asked. Hunk took a deep breath.

"Yeah, I-I'll be okay. I just…I might throw up at some point in to the movie and I'm kinda just preparing for that," he replied. Keith patted his shoulder.

"It's okay. You have a bag or a bowl, right?"

"Always," he said pulling a brown paper bag from the inside of his olive vest.

"Wait, do you always carry one of those with you?"

"Uh…yeah. I get queasy in history class. Especially when they talk about war and…" he trailed off and let out a shaky sigh. "Ah man. I hate guts."

"That's why you're still in history class. You should've passed that but you keep throwing up at your exams," Lance pitched in throwing an arm around Hunk's shoulders.

"God I hate guts," Hunk sighed.

"Let's just start the damn movie already," Pidge said.

"Okay okay okay, I'm doing it," Hunk replied and slipped the DVD in its player.

     Everyone got quiet as Hunk fiddled with the menu to play the movie. When he sat back on the couch between Keith and Lance he seemed very stressed and tense. Apparently that was rather normal. Keith rested his chin on top of the pillow as he watched the film. The sight of blood wasn't a big deal to him. He was on hormone blockers before he got his period, so he didn't have that familiarity with blood. But he has watched many movies similar to this one with his dad. He had built up a bit of a tolerance to it. Hunk apparently hadn't considering he's been fidgety and nervous since before the movie started.

     Within the first five minute there was a murder scene. It wasn't too intense, but the body was stored in a bathtub and it looked pretty full of blood. Hunk shuddered and Keith noticed, so he patted his shoulder to comfort him.

"Thanks buddy," Hunk said and clutched his stomach. Keith nodded without saying anything.

     As the movie progressed it only got more violent and bloody. Keith really didn't find it very realist and wasn't a fan of the acting, but everyone else seemed engrossed in the film. The other two could be heard chatting about how much blood would be in the next scene and teasing Hunk a little. Keith leaned forward to glare at Lance and he instantly got the message to leave Hunk alone. He also stuck his tongue out and smiled in a ridiculously attractive way. The pale boy jolted back and went back to ignoring him for the awful film.

"Oh dear god…I can't take this anymore!" Hunk cried and bolted from the couch. Keith, Lance, and Pidge watched him go for the bathroom next to the stairs and vomit intensely in to the toilet. He didn't even use his bag. Pidge sighed and stood up.

"I'll go make sure he's okay," they said and went in to the bathroom after him.

     The movie continued to play as more vomiting could be heard from the bathroom. Keith decided to ignore it and go back to focusing on the movie. He barely even noticed Lance scooting closer to him on the couch. Although when he did notice he ignored that as well. Lance then leaned even closer to Keith's ear.

"Is this movie scary to you, Keith?" He asked with a grin. Keith shrugged.

"Well, if it's ever too much for you, buddy, I'm here for you to cower in fear beh-" he was cut off by the sounds of screaming coming from the screen. He had accidentally clung on to Keith's arm and shivered closer to him, and caused him to laugh in response.

"Don't worry, Lance. If it's ever too much for you I'm here for you to cower in fear behind," he teased. Lance glared at him, but held on to him tighter when another blood-curdling scream came from the television.

"Jesus Christ," he hissed and pressed his forehead to Keith's shoulder.

"This movie sucks, dude. Do you really find it scary?" Keith whispered.

"Yes! Are you kidding me? Were you raised by murderers or something? How do you not find this scary?" Keith shrugged.

"The acting is awful, the blood looks fake, and the main character is stupid as hell," Keith replied.

"You're stupid as hell," Lance grumbled.

"Only someone who's stupid as hell would insult people by repeating a phrase they just heard," Keith said with a smile. Lance opened his mouth to speak, but there was another scream and he threw his arms around Keith's shoulders. With Lance's head buried in his neck, Keith laughed and reached up to comfortingly touch his arm.

"It's okay, Lance. It's not real," Keith assured him in a patronizing tone. Lance grumbled something that sounded like "fuck you", and snuggled closer before peeking at the screen again.

     While Keith didn't find the movie scary, he was thankful for Lance's warmth. He provided more comfort than the pillow Keith had been holding on to, and it was the same warmth that he felt in the hallway and the forest. Maybe Lance was just a warm person. Perhaps Keith was just cold. Whatever it was, the contact they shared was pleasant, and he didn't know how to exactly express his appreciation. Maybe…hug him back? Tell him with words? Something??

     Something turned out to be Keith slipping his arm under Lance's armpit and rubbing his back comfortingly. Lance paused when he felt Keith's hand over his spine. He didn't really know how to respond, but he liked it. It felt good. He didn't want it to stop, but he felt a little stiff and awkward at the same time. Maybe that was just him. He allowed himself to relax under Keith's touch and sink closer to him.

"…what is happening right now?" Lance whispered.

"I think we're cuddling," Keith replied. They were silent for a moment.

"It's nice," Lance said.

"You think so?"

"Yeah…I mean your breath stinks, but besides that it's alrig-ouch!." Lance rubbed the spot that Keith pinched on his nape.

"Asshole," Keith muttered. Lance chuckled a little and nuzzled against Keith's neck. His breath didn't actually smell that bad anyways.




     Not only did Lance make a habit out of driving Keith home from school, but also a habit of driving him to school in the mornings. It might've added to the amount of gas he had to buy, but his job at the nearby grocery store paid plenty for him to do it. He worked at his uncle's store, and really only worked there for gas money. That and his mother begged her brother to give Lance a job since all he did was sit around at home and avoid his homework. Although this year she did notice him actually doing with his English homework.

     It wasn't just English homework though. Once Lance found out he had the same government teacher as Keith he started doing that homework too. Then even though their finance teachers were different he still shot for a better over all grade. He was better at government when he tired really, but he was still always a little bit behind in English. They were pretty evenly tied in finances. It seemed that the competition was rather one-sided, but the smile that spread across Keith's face whenever Lance went on about his better score was worth keeping it up. In the end, it made Ana very happy.

     Lance was disappointed that he only had one class with Keith. Sure they had the same lunches, but between doing homework and working at the grocery store Lance didn't have a lot of time outside of class to spend with Keith. Sometimes he had enough free time to spare a phone call, but that always ended with his mom needing it ten minutes in to the conversation. He wouldn't dare ask for one of those flip phones since those were so expensive and pretty much no one at school had one anyways. It seemed like only well off kids had those who thought they were cooler than they actually were (a lot of Lance's "friends"). Plus Keith didn't have a cell phone either, so what was the point?

     English class was Lance's favorite class. He'd never admit that out loud though, and if he did he'd never be honest of the reason why. He wouldn't tell people it was because of the fun conversations he had with Keith, or the fluttery feeling in his chest when their fingers accidentally touched, or the way his name sounded on Keith's tongue. Instead he'd say something like it was easy or he could just zone out. Never because of just a friend.

     He tried to remember how he got like this. Neck-deep in feelings for a guy he met just that year. It was hard to figure out which one was more surprising: the amount of feelings in such a short time, or the fact that he had feelings for a guy. After years and years of denial it took one boy with pretty eyes and soft hair to unravel it all. How could he have let this happen? It felt like he didn't really have a choice. Like he was struck by a rattle snack and no matter how much he tried he couldn't suck out the venom. Then again the venom felt pretty good. Maybe he didn't want to suck it out.

"Do we have to read this entire book over Christmas break?" Lance asked as he flipped through the new novel they had for class. Keith shrugged. He was already reading the front page. "Hey, stop that! You don't get a head start."

"Is it really a head start or am I using my time efficiently?" Keith responded and flipped the page as they continued their walk from the library to the classroom.

"It's a head start, dude. Cut it out," Lance insisted and reached to take away Keith's book. Keith merely swatted his hand away and dog-eared the book.

"Fine. I guess I'll save this for lunch time," he said.

"Dude, you're crazy."

"You're lazy."

"I'm very offended right now. I'll have you know I've been doing my homework all quarter so far," Lance told him. Keith chuckled.

"I'm proud of you," he smiled. Lance blushed and ripped Keith's book from his hands. "Hey!"

"You can't read if you don't have your book," he said and held the novel up out of Keith's reach.

"Lance! C'mon, give it back!" Keith groaned and jumped up to reach it.

"Nope," Lance replied stubbornly and backing away from the shorter boy.

"Seriously! I need that!" Keith continued and grabbed on to Lance's arm to tug it down.

"Jesus Christ!" Lance cursed as Keith accidentally threw him on to the ground.

"Oh shit. You okay?" Keith asked crouching down.

"What the hell, man. How are you so fucking strong?" Lance grunted and pushed himself up off the floor.

"I guess carrying around these heavy books…and I workout sometimes," he confessed.

"Workout? What the hell do you do?" Lance asked as Keith helped him stand up.

"Uh…push ups and stuff? I dunno. I've been slacking a little because it's so cold out, but I was more active in the summer. I'm surprised I've kept the muscle," he told him and took his book back.

"Okay. Remind me to never fuck with you again. My ass is gonna be sore all day now." Keith laughed.

"I'll make sure to be gentler if you ever forget," he assured Lance.

"Hey! Keith! Lance!"

      The two boys looked over to see Stacy waving and jogging over to them. Her blond hair bounced perfectly as she caught up to them with a smile.

"Hey, Stacy. What's up?" Lance greeted.

"What are you guys doing this weekend?" She asked.

"Uh I got work on Saturday and church on Sunday," Lance answered.

"Homework," Keith said.

"You guys wanna maybe skip that boring stuff and come to Chad's Christmas party on Saturday?" Stacy questioned with a flirty smile as she played with her hair.

"Not really," Keith spoke first.

"Aw, why not?" Stacy whined. Keith shrugged.

"I'm not too into parties. Sorry," he replied simply.

"C'mon, it'll be tons of fun. Besides, Tracy really wants you to be there," she told him. Keith didn't understand why Tracy's wants mattered in his decision making.


"He'll be there. Don't worry," Lance assured her.


"Dude, it's fine," Lance whispered. Keith frowned at him.

"Well, what about you, Lance? Think you can get out of bagging groceries for the weekend?"

"Hm. Depends. What's on the menu that night?" He asked with a sleazy grin. Keith told himself it was gross, but it was probably more appealing than he initially thought if it was directed at him.

"Hmm…I think Hannah is gonna be there."

"Which one?"


"The one with black hair and a nice ass?"

"That's the one," Stacy confirmed.

"Sounds tempting. Any appetizers?"

"You mean juniors who think they're seniors?"

"Oh yeah. I love those dweebs."

"Well, I know Courtney Thompson is gonna be there."

"Done. I'll be there," Lance said.

"Perfect. You guys know where Chad's house is?"


"Awesome. I'll see you guys Saturday nine o'clock," she said and walked past them.

"See ya!" Lance grinned. She winked at him and then continued on leaving Lance gruntled and Keith rather disgruntled. He glared at the taller boy until their eyes met and Lance's smile dropped.

"What the hell? I don't wanna go to a stupid party," he said.

"Chill out, man. It's not the end of the world if you go to one high school party," Lance replied and continued their walk back to the classroom.

"I don't even know if my mom will let me go," Keith pointed out following him.

"If she doesn't oh well, but it won't hurt to ask."

"W-what if there's alcohol? What if one of the neighbors call the police?" Keith challenged. Lance shrugged.

"If there's alcohol do what you want with it. If there's police, oh well. It's apart of the high school experience."

"What if someone tries to talk to me?"

"Oh no that's so awful!" Lance snarked. Keith frowned deeper.

"I'm serious, Lance," he growled. Lance sighed and stopped to face Keith. He grabbed his shoulders and looked him in the eye.

"Keith. Nothing bad will happen, okay? It's just a party, and you won't be alone, remember? I'll be there," he assured Keith. The pale boy still looked worried.


"Trust me, Keith. You'll be fine."

Keith sighed.



Chapter Text

     Dinner was awkward. It was Friday and Keith still hadn't gotten around to asking his parents if he could go to Chad's party. He didn't even know Chad, much less cared for Chad's party. While he was hoping his mother would say no, he was also secretly hoping she would say yes just so he could spend more time with Lance. Maybe they could ditch the party and hangout somewhere more private. Just the two of them outside possibly looking up at the stars. Perhaps they could hold hands again or something, or maybe cuddle like they did that one time at Hunk's house. It was a real possibility. They've done those things before anyways.

     Now he needed to focus on asking for his parents permission. He played with his pile of mashed potatoes and bit his lip. It was easier said than done considering the anxiety he felt around social settings. Knowing Lance would be there helped, but still he wasn't sure how much he /wanted/ to go. Couldn't they just hangout together instead?

"Not feeling the mashed potatoes tonight?" Sarah asked. Keith looked up from his food and ceased his toying.

"Sorry," he murmured and scooped some up in to his mouth.

"You're growing quite the beard, Keith. Need help shaving it?" Alan spoke up. Keith pondered it for a while. It was definitely getting a little bit longer, but it was scratchier than he had anticipated. A little bit annoying too.

"Maybe. I kinda like it," Keith replied.

"I'm gonna be honest. I wasn't sure if you were gonna be able to grow one," Alan admitted.


"Well, we don't know your birth father. He could've had a bad beard gene like me," Alan pointed out.


"Is there something on your mind, Keith? You seem a little distracted," Sarah noticed.

"Um…" this was his last chance. He needed to ask. "…I uh…t-there's this party tomorrow night-"

"No," Alan said instantly.

"Alan," Sarah said in a scolding tone. "Go on Keith."

"N-no, it's okay. Dad is right I shouldn't-"

"Seriously, Keith. Finish what you were going to say," she urged. He sighed.

"There's a party tomorrow night and…and I was invited to come," he said.

"Where's the party? What time?" Sarah asked.

"It's at some guys house at like nine o'clock or something. I dunno. Lance said he knows where it is and he said he knows the guy," Keith told her.

"Lance? Is he going too?" Keith nodded.

"He said he would pick me up and then take me home."

"Oh. Well I trust Lance to look out for you and make sure you're safe. As long as you're with him I'm okay if you go," Sarah said and then looked at her husband.

"Alan?" He sighed.

"I guess if you have a responsible friend I'll let you go," Alan cooperated. Well shit. Why did he have to mention Lance?

"Okay…may I be excused so I can go tell him?" Keith requested.

"Yes, you may," Sarah allowed.
Keith got up from the table and carried his plate to the kitchen. He cleaned it off and left it in the sink before grabbing the home phone. His fingers dialed the number as if it was second nature and waited while the other line rang.

"Hello?" Ana answered on the phone.

"Good evening, Mrs. McClain, is Lance there?" Keith asked.

"Oh, hello Keith! Yes he's right here, I'll get him for you," she replied.

"Thank you," he mumbled. Distant Spanish was heard over the line followed by Lance's voice.

"Hey, what’s up?" Lance said.

"Oh um, I asked my parents about the party and they said I could go," Keith told him.

"Awesome! I'll pick you up around eight forty or eight forty five since Chad lives a little bit further away."


"You sound worried," Lance noticed.

"I am," Keith confirmed.

"It's okay, dude. I won't drink so I can drive you home and I'll make sure you always know where I am," he assured Keith.


"Lighten up, man. I promise you'll have a blast," Lance said sounded excited. Keith sighed.

"If you say so."



     The moment they stepped in to Chad's house Keith instantly wanted to leave. It was filled with loud music and chattering kids and the smell of alcohol and weed. The sound was enough to give Keith a headache, but the smell made him almost feel sick. They were instantly greeted with Chad himself, but Keith didn't respond much. His surroundings were a little too overwhelming for him to hold a proper conversation with anyone. He tugged on Lance's sleeve.

"The smell is making me sick," he said.

"Oh, let's get you away from the stairs. All the pot smokers are upstairs," Lance replied and guided him to the kitchen. A red cup was shoved in to their hands, but Lance set his down on the counter before even asking what was in it. Keith looked down at it and smelled the alcohol in it.

"Is this beer?" He asked.

"Try it," Lance prompted. Keith hesitated, but then lifted the cup to his lips. It was bitter and tasted rather bad. He pulled a face.

"That's gross," he said. Lance laughed.

"Yeah, that's beer. I think you're better off with a coke," he said and walked over to the fridge. Keith set the red cup down next to the one Lance abandoned and followed him. A tan hand brushed against his fingers as Lance gave him a cold coke.

"Best to be sober if you're still worried," Lance advised. Keith nodded and opened the can. There was a sudden loud cheer from the living room and the two boys peeked inside.

"I see they're already playing suck and blow," Lance said and opened his own can of Sprite.

"Suck and blow?"

"It's a party game. They hold the card by pressing it to their lips and sucking. They gotta pass it in a circle and you can either drop it on purpose and kiss the next person in line, or if you accidentally drop it you have to kiss the next person," Lance explained.

"Oh…" Keith watched as they started a new game. The card went halfway around the circle until it was dropped again and the two people responsible for it started making out on the couch. Keith cringed at the sight and Lance chuckled a little.

"Not a fan of the sight of two people kissing?" Lance asked.

"Not the way they kiss," Keith muttered and sipped his coke.

"Yeah? Doesn't look comfortable?"

"I mean…if having your face eaten is comfortable I don't know when that happened," Keith said. Lance laughed.

"You'd be surprised," he hummed and drank some of his Sprite.

"Lance! Oh my god!" A smiley brunette sang as she bounced over.

"Oh hey, Trace. What's up?" He replied.

"C'mon! We're gonna play spin the bottle and you're such a good kisser you have to play!" She cried tugging his arm. Keith lifted his brow and gave Lance and questioning look. Lance merely shrugged, but Keith could see the light flush on his cheeks.

"How many drinks did you have, Tracy?" He asked.

"Enough to wanna kiss you. C'mon!" She pleaded. He sighed.

"Oh! Keith! You're here too! Perfect! I wanna kiss you too!" She giggled. Keith blushed bright red.

"N-no thank you," he stuttered.

"You can sit out, but she won't leave me alone until I play," Lance told him. Keith bit his lip and watched Tracy throw herself all over Lance. He sighed.

"I'll sit outside the circle or something," he decided.

"Good idea," Lance nodded.

"Okay, Trace. You got me."

"Yay!! C'mon! Sit over here!" She grinned and pulled Lance by the hand to the circle. Keith shyly followed behind him and sat outside the forming circle like he said. A kid moved aside to let him in, but he shook his head and said he wasn't playing.

"I wanna go first!" Tracy announced and drunkenly crawled out to the middle.

     No one protested as she spun the empty beer bottle in the middle. It stopped on a girl, so she spun again and got a boy sitting two spots away from Lance. She whined about how it was so close why couldn't she just kiss him before reluctantly kissing the captain of the football team. The game continued from person to person, and Keith was thankful that nobody landed on Lance just yet. It seemed like a rather uneventful game if he was being honest. Most of the times it didn't work in anyone's favor, and the few times it did they were yelled at for making out in the middle of the circle. The game was actually pretty boring…but then it wasn't.

"Oooo! Look who finally got chosen!" Someone cheered.

     Keith snapped his attention back to the game and noticed the mouth of the bottle pointed at Lance. He blinked in surprise and nervously watched as Lance laughed and crawled out in to the center. The girl he was supposed to be kissing had red hair and brown eyes. She looked like this was the highlight of her life as she crawled to him and eagerly pressed her lips to his.

     Loud and ugly jealously ripped through Keith's chest as he swallowed hard and watched their lips lock. Pink lips that didn't deserve to feel his tan skin, and white hands that didn't belong in his brown hair. He hated seeing Lance's lips move so skillfully against some random girl, and he hated her with all his heart. When they broke apart a string of spit still connected them. Lance exclaimed with an "ew" as he broke it off.

"Okay, Lance. Your turn to spin," the girl said. Keith's eyes widened. Wait, he had to kiss someone again? Keith had to watch that again?

"Okay okay, hold your horses," he said and then spun the bottle.

     Sure enough it landed on Tracy and she squealed with delight. Before Lance could even respond she turned and threw her arms around his neck. Her technique could only be described as a dog who hadn't eaten for months with a new bone to chew. Lance had to hold on to her waist to keep her steady, and Keith stared at those tan fingers intently. He wanted Lance to hold him like that. Kiss him like the way he kissed the red-head before. Bite his lip the way Tracy was.

"Calm down, there. Trace," Lance laughed and used his grip on her hips to set her down.

"One more! Ugh, and don't hold back," she whined. Lance rolled his eyes and continued to talk to her when Keith felt someone tap his shoulder. He looked up and saw a blond girl smiling down at him.

"You're Keith Kogane, right?" she asked. Keith nodded. "I've heard a lot about you. My name is Courtney."

"T-Thompson?" He stuttered. She giggled.

"Yup. I'm assuming you've heard about me too," she grinned. He nodded again. "This game is lame. Wanna hangout?" She suggested. Keith looked at Lance who was wiping off Tracy's lipstick from his mouth.

"Yeah, sure," he replied and stood up.


     Courtney lead Keith in to the kitchen and he didn't tell Lance. This time when she handed him a red cup he blindly accepted it and drank it despite the disgusting flavor that hit his tongue. It was even more disgusting than the last drink he had. They chatted a little bit while keeping their eye on the game. Courtney made a comment on how the Mexican boy seemed to know how to kiss, and Keith instantly knew she was talking about Lance. He merely shrugged and sipped his beer. She continued to chat with him and got more and more touchy feely the more he drank. He wouldn't let her touch his chest or his waist and told her he was kinda ticklish. It was only a partial lie. He was ticklish, but it was also a good excuse for her not to touch him.

"Why don't we get out of here," she proposed. Keith furrowed his brows.

"My ride is here," he replied. She giggled.

"No, not like get out of here, but like…find some privacy," she purred. He shifted uncomfortably.

"I dunno-"

"C'mon, don't be shy," she giggled and tugged him by his hand.

     She lead him around the kitchen and through the family room. He paused at the other entrance to the living room just as Lance was leaning in to kiss a girl who looked like Larissa from their English class. They made explicit eye contact as his tongue darted out against Larissa's lips and Keith's stomach curdled. Everything felt fuzzy like a dream. When Lance pulled back Keith was pulled forward. He was lead down the hall with Courtney. She tugged him in to the nearest empty room which turned out to be the laundry room.

"Finally," she sighed as she closed the door and faced Keith.

     He gave her a confused look, and then gasped when she pinned him to the washing machine. Keith leaned away from her as much as he could, but she could still reach his neck. It turned out accepting shaving lessons from his dad was a bad thing because Courtney seemed to love his smooth neck.

"Mm…your skin is soooo soft," she giggled and resumed pressing kissed to his throat. Keith pushed her away.

"W-what the hell are you doing?" He stuttered.

"Appreciating the privacy," she hummed and approached him again. Her hand went for between his legs, but he quickly grabbed her wrist. Thankfully he stopped her just in time from touching him there. Unfortunately he wasn't fast enough with her head and tensed up when he felt her lips pressed to his. He pushed her away again and wiped his mouth.

"W-what the hell are you doing? Do you just touch people there without their permission or what?" He nearly shouted.

"Do I really need your permission though? I mean, I'm offering you a blowjob," she said crossing her arms.

"I-I don't want a blow job! No thank you!"

"What? What kinda guy doesn't want a blow job?" She sneered. The kinda guy who can't receive a blow job.

"S-sorry, I just don't want a blow job from you," he stuttered. She frowned.

"You are so weird."

"I-I gotta go!" He blurted and bolted for the door.

     Keith needed to get out of there. He was feeling dizzy, and a little queasy. It seemed like the whole room was shifting. He was too nervous in his own skin. When he threw the door open he was surprised to see Lance standing there ready to turn the knob. A sigh of relief left him and he resisted the urge to just hug him right then and there. Instead he grabbed Lance's arm and dragged him down the hall, through the living room, and out the door. He had briefly forgotten the burning jealousy he had in favor of getting out of there. For real.

"Keith! What-who was-what's happening?" Lance asked as Keith pulled him out to his car. He stumbled a bit over the lawn, but Lance quickly caught him.

"P-please take me home now," he stuttered and held back a sob.

"I'll take you home, but what happened dude?"

"I just wanna go home, please," he begged.

"Okay okay, I'll take you home. It's okay," Lance assured him in a quiet voice as he slipped his arm around Keith's shoulders. "It'll be okay, buddy. It's okay…"



     By the time Lance drove up to Keith's house the smaller boy was quiet. He still looked mildly distressed, but when Lance tried to talk to him he wouldn't respond. The silence between them was killing Lance, and he insisted on helping Keith inside. His breath smelled like alcohol, but it wasn't super strong. Based on how he was stumbling slightly Lance pegged him as a lightweight, and helped him to the front door.

     Sarah was in the family room asleep on the couch, but the sound of keys and the door opening woke her. She yawned just as her son stumbled in with Lance quickly catching him before he landed on the floor. That instantly snapped every last bit of sleep out of her and she quickly rushed over to Keith.

"Keith? Sweetheart? Are you okay?" She asked. He nodded and sighed, squinting at the light.

"I'm fine," he muttered.

"I thought he was with me the whole time, but he must've wandered off. I'm not sure what happened," Lance told Sarah and hoisted Keith to his feet again.

"Keith, what happened? Did you drink alcohol? Are you hurt?"

"I said I'm fine. I just…had one cup…" he mumbled. Lance sighed.

"I can help him to his room if you'll point me in the right direction," Lance offered.

"Oh thank you so much, sweetheart. His room is upstairs," Sarah said and closed the front door. Keith walked a little ahead of Lance, but eventually needed help again when it came to the stairs.

"Man, you really can't handle one beer," Lance muttered.

"I don't…think it was a beer," he groaned. The tan boy finally successfully got Keith to the top of the stairs and was guided by him to his room.

"It wasn't a beer? What else could it have been?" Lance asked. He helped Keith to sit down on his bed and sat down next to him.

"I dunno…it tasted awful," he mumbled and rested his head in to the crook of Lance's neck.

"How much of it did you have?"

"I drank the whole cup."

"Like the red solo cup whole cup?" Lance asked sounding horrified. Keith nodded weakly."Dude, that could've been hard liquor, or worse, roofies," Lance told him grabbing his shoulders. Keith blinked at him.

"Courtney…gave it to me," he stammered. Lance groaned.

"Are you kidding me? Courtney Thompson?" Keith nodded. "Of course it was drugged! Goddammit, Keith."

"Are you mad?" Keith asked quietly. Lance pinched his lips in frustration and pulled Keith in to a tight hug.

"Fuck, Keith…I'm worried about you. You were right I shouldn't have dragged you to that stupid party," Lance said. Keith sought out the warmth wrapped around him and gently squeezed Lance.

"Warm…" he whimpered and nuzzled in to his tan neck. Lance cradled the back of Keith's head. "Don't leave," he pleaded softly. Lance stroked soft black hair with his thumb and took a shaky breath.

"I won't leave you, Keith. I promise."

Chapter Text

     Lance had to leave. He promised his mother he would be home at midnight, and Keith was fast asleep before eleven thirty. As much as he wanted to stay wrapped up with Keith in his bed he had to keep his promise to his mom. So he left Keith with his jacket draped over him, and then drove home. Turned out his mother was fast asleep anyways, so in theory he could've stayed a little longer. He didn't want to risk it though. Plus his dad was still awake working on the computer, so it would be obvious to his mother if he came in late and his father narked on him.

     That next Monday was nerve wracking. Lance looked for Keith tentatively and was relieved when he found him. After their brief conversation it was evident to Lance that something was off about him. He didn't even ask about his jacket that he left with Keith. Mostly because he was wearing it, but also because he liked the way his jacket looked on Keith. It was zipped up, which he didn't usually do, and the hood was down. Keith seemed like he didn't even notice it wasn't his own jacket that he was wearing. Almost like he randomly grabbed it in the morning without much thought, or like he just woke up in whatever and slept in it. Either way was equally likely, and both did weird things to Lance's heart.

     With few words exchanged before the bell, Keith and Lance went their separate ways for first period. Lance had science class since he still needed one more credit to graduate. It was some easy class he didn't think twice about. Now he was thinking maybe he should've because he was stuck with a bunch of other seniors who just needed a credit. The difference between them was how much of an asshole the other seniors could be. Some of them he hung around, but most of them he didn't pay attention to. Some of them was Chad who hosted the party last Saturday, and some of them were in to gossip.

"Hey, McClain," A girl with a haughty smile greeted. Lance looked up at her.

"Hey, Jessica," he replied unenthusiastically.

"So, I heard you were at Chad's party on Saturday," she said. Chad, who was sitting next to Lance, nodded.

"Yo dude, you should've seen it. He kissed like three girls in spin the bottle," Chad said. Jessica gave him a displeased look and chewed her gum obnoxiously.

"Anyways…I also heard you were hanging out with Keith," she said. Lance nodded. "Did you know he got his dick sucked by Courtney Thompson?"

     Finally, his attention was thoroughly groped and harassed. Lance looked up at Jessica with wide blue eyes and furrowed brows. His heart felt like it was going to explode, and his brain was over thinking everything that happened at the party. No…that didn't…did that happen?

"Wait, Keith Daniels, or that new guy Kogane?" Chad asked.

"It was your party, you should know," Jessica snarked.

"Well I'm curious too. I dunno if you're talking about the same Keith that I'm thinking of," Lance added.

"Kogane, of course. You don't hang out with that other one," Jessica answered.

"Right…I seriously doubt he let Courtney suck his dick," Lance replied.

"Honest to god, it happened. Someone saw them disappear in to the laundry room together. Apparently he bolted out of there. Must've been some pretty intense stuff," she told him.

"Oh yeah, Courtney? She's amazing at sucking dick," Chad confirmed. Lance shook his head.

"No, I saw her pull him in and he came out after like barely a minute. If she was blowing him they would've been a lot longer," Lance told them.

"Word on the street is Kogane is a virgin. I would've be surprised if he was a one pump chump," Jessica said and then blew a bubble with her gum. "That mixed with Courtney's amazing head abilities? Keith wouldn't last a second."

"Oh yeah. He'd be a goner," Chad agreed and nodded. Lance rolled his eyes.

"You guys are crazy. He's told everyone he's not interested in dating. Why do you think he would accept a blow job?"

"Well it's not technically a date," Chad pointed out.

"Whatever. I know Keith, and he wouldn't just accept a blow job. Either she forced herself on him, or he fought her off," Lance said. Jessica and Chad laughed.

"That's so funny, Lance. Of course he would 'just accept' a blow job, he's a boy," Jessica sneered.

"Yeah, and girls never force themselves on dudes. What is this? Opposite Day?" Chad chortled. Lance pressed his lips in to a thin angry line.

"You guys don't even talk to him. How would you know?" He challenged.

"What? Don't tell me the rumors are true," Jessica sassed. Lance blushed as he glared at her, and she gasped with wide eyes. "Oh my god they are, aren't they?"

"They aren't true," Lance said in a stern voice.

"Wait, which rumors? That…that he's gay or that he's dating Keith?" Chad asked Jessica.

"Both you idiot!" She hissed.

"Guys, it's not true, okay? I made out with like three girls that night. You guys are crazy," he defended.

"Whoa, are you really dating Kogane?" Chad asked.

"I just said the rumors aren't true. Of course I'm not dating Keith!" Lance snapped. It wasn't a lie really. They hadn't been clear about a lot of things with each other.

"What's it like? How do you guys have sex?" Chad asked regardless. Lance blushed bright red, and Jessica hit Chad's shoulder.

"Ew. What the hell, Chad?"

"C'mon! Don't tell me you've never wanted to ask a queer that," he replied.

"Of course I don't! That's disgusting."

"You guys, seriously! I'm not queer, Keith is not queer, and we are not dating," he insisted.

"Don't lie to me, Lance I know everythi-"

"Do you guys even know how much danger you're putting me and Keith in by spreading these rumors? You might just find it gross, but some kids here would beat us up, kill us, okay? We are not dating, so drop it," Lance spoke low and stern with a hard glare on both of them. Jessica was finally silent and Chad was blinking at him.

"Whoa man…I'm sorry I didn't know. I was just curious," Chad said. Lance sighed.

"Honestly, man, I'm not the guy to ask," Lance told him. Which was rather true. He wasn't completely gay, and he knew nothing about gay sex or gay people. Maybe Keith knew…




Did Keith get his dick sucked by Courtney or not?


He needed to talk to Keith ASAP.



     Everything smelled like Lance. It didn't even register in Keith's brain that he accidentally grabbed his jacket, so it felt like his scent was taunting him. When Keith did realize who's jacket he was wearing he couldn't help but feel a little embarrassed. He just saw Lance that morning in his damn jacket. Way to fucking go.

     It smelled good though, and it was warm and comfortable. He would never tell Lance that he purposely smelled the collar and adored every second of sniffing. That would be extra embarrassing. Especially when he even got in trouble for dozing off in class when in reality he was lost in taking deep breaths in to the lapels. He couldn't help it either. Half the time it faded in to the background, but the rest of the time it was overwhelmingly pleasant and addicting. At least until he remembered the bitter feelings from Saturday.

     Any adult would tell you life isn't fair, but life was being especially cruel to Keith that Saturday night. Between watching Lance make out with sleazy girls and being drugged and approached he could easily say Saturday was on his top five list of worst nights of his life. The memory of his absolute jealousy was useless because he still felt it. It was possibly stronger now that he's replayed each kiss at least sixteen times. He suddenly wanted to rip off Lance's jacket and spit on it. Except he didn't. Because he was pathetic, and he was too attached to Lance at this point.

     While he was attached, he wasn't hanging off his tit. Keith decided to go home after third period that day like he usually did. He didn't bother telling Lance he wouldn't need a ride home, and instead just walked. When he got home he contemplated going through the forest again, but if he didn't leave a note or tell his mom he'd upset her again. Maybe another time since his dad gave him his Swiss Army knife back. It would be a good way to get his mind off of things, but for the time being he was stuck staring up at his ceiling.

     Of course he was still sniffing the jacket. He couldn't stop because it felt so good to be close to Lance in some way. It was like he was there with Keith, holding him and hugging him close. Keith wanted him there so badly, but the ache in his heart from watching that was too much. Tears welled up in his eyes as he sighed and closed them.

"He's just a boy," he whispered to himself.

     Keith then heard a knock at the door and he quickly jolted upright. He wiped his tears away with the edges of the jacket and then cursed when he realized he'd have to wash it now. If he washed it would it smell as good? Probably not. Whoever was at his door knocked again.

"C-come in," he stuttered. His mother came in with a big smile and Keith smiled back.

"Hey, sweetheart. Your friend, Lance is here," Sarah told him.

     Keith's smile disappeared when he looked from his mother to Lance in the doorway. He looked extra lanky without his jacket. Now he wore a thinner hoodie, and it showed just how skinny he was.

"Oh," was all Keith said. Sarah nodded to Lance and then left them alone in Keith's room. The tall boy stood awkwardly next to the door and cleared his throat.

"Uh…hey," he greeted. Keith let his legs fall over the side of his bed and looked at his knees.

"Hey," he replied shortly.

"Uh…I…I have a question…about Saturday," Lance announced. That was odd.

"What is it?"

"So um…I was talking with this friend who heard about the party, and she was telling me that uh some people were saying some stuff about you and Courtney and-"

"Just spit it out, Lance," Keith sighed and ran his fingers through his fringe.

"Did Courtney suck your dick?" He blurted. Keith looked at him with wide eyes.


"I just…I heard…people are saying-"

"What do you think, Lance? Of course she didn't," he interrupted. There was really nothing to suck…well maybe a little. He needed to update his journal a little.

"I just wanted to make sure, okay? I-I don't know what to believe-"

"Lance, I told you I'm not interested in girls. Why would you believe any of that bullshit for a second?" He questioned. It was now apparent to Lance that Keith was upset.

"Well I didn't know if she forced herself on you or something-"

"Lance, you are an idiot!" Keith snapped. Blue eyes blinked at him and Keith merely glared back.


"What makes you think you have the right to know, anyways? What makes you think you can know every detail of my sex life?" He challenged and stood up.

"Keith, calm down. I just…I wanted to know because…" he sighed. "I didn't like seeing you with Courtney, and hearing that rumor drove me-"

"Nuts? Just like it would drive you nuts if you saw me holding a girls hand? Yeah I know the feeling," he interrupted curtly. Lance furrowed his brows and blinked.


"Are you stupid?"

"Uh, maybe?"

"Lance, you made out with like three girls right in front of me!" Keith reminded him. Lance's heart dropped. He didn't think that mattered.

"That…that was just for the game-"

"Do you think I didn't know that? Do you think I'm the stupid one? Of course it was a part of the game, but that didn't make it hurt any less," he said angrily. Lance was still getting used to the idea that he made Keith upset and…jealous?

"Look, Keith. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know-"

"God you're so thick headed," he groaned and sat back down on his bed. Lance stood at the end of it.


"I like you, Lance!" Keith shouted.

     Lance froze where he was and stared at Keith. The pale boy was bright red and refused to look at him no matter how hard he gawked. It felt as if the elephant in the room was not only addressed but also brutally shot and beaten up. They both had feelings for each other, but never had either of them directly brought it up like that. With each second that passed Lance felt like there were fingers pressing around his throat tighter and tighter. He was silent until it was unbearable and then cleared his throat. Keith flinched a little at the sound and Lance sat next to him on his bed.

"I uh…I wasn't thinking last night. I should've stopped playing the game, but I lot track of time and it landed on me and…" he trailed off with a sigh. "I like you too, Keith. I should've…I should've been safer. I shouldn't have taken you to that shitty party and-"

     Lance stopped talking when he felt cool fingers brush over his. He looked over to see Keith still avoiding his eyes. He was softly nudging his hand until Lance turned his palm over and their fingers interlocked like a jigsaw puzzle. A sigh of relief left his lungs as Lance rubbed his thumb against the back of Keith's hand.

"I went nuts…seeing you flirt with girls is one thing, but kissing…I couldn't handle it. Courtney came and talked to me and I followed her to the kitchen. She kept…trying to touch me and stuff, and then she pulled me to the laundry room and…" he squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "She tried to kiss me…I ran out and you were there and-"

"Shit, Keith," Lance sighed and pulled his hand away to hug Keith again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran off, and I let my emotions get the best of me but…fuck, I like you so much, Lance," he spoke and buried his face in to Lance's neck.

"I like you too, Keith. I like you too," Lance murmured and ran his fingers through coarse black hair. Keith pressed his forehead against the warmth of Lance's throat and bit his lip.

"Everything about you is so nice, and I like being close to you, and you make me feel happy," Keith whispered.

     Lance's breath trembled on Keith's neck as the tan boy nuzzled against him. His lips barely brushed down the tendons on Keith's neck, and the pale boy shivered in response. He started to grab at Lance's shirt and tightened his grip each time he felt those soft lips. It felt like he was still slightly hesitating, but Keith could understand that. If he hadn't been holding back he would've been kissing Lance senseless. But he didn't. Mostly because he was a whimp, but also he wanted his first kiss with Lance to be happy, and the swirl of emotion inside of him made that impossible. So he let out a shaky exhale when he finally did feel the press of Lance's lips on his neck.

"I've never liked someone the way that I like you, Keith," he murmured and slid his hand up to cup his face. He pressed another kiss closer to Keith's jaw and he flushed bright red.

"Lance…" he breathed. Lance kissed his jaw again.

"It was scary at first, so I ignored it. But now…" he pulled back to look at Keith. "I don't wanna ignore you…ever again. No matter what the situation is, you come first to me, okay?"

"O-okay," Keith stuttered. Lance nodded and pressed their foreheads together.

"You're so important to me, Keith. I feel awful for what I did. I should've said no-"

"You said so yourself. If you didn't go Tracy wouldn't have left you alone. Then people would spread more gay rumors because you hung out with me the whole ti-"

"Keith, I don't give a shit anymore. I don't care what other people say anymore. I just-" he stopped and sighed before holding Keith closer. "I only care about you, and I'm tired of everyone else."

"Lance," Keith said softly.


"Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm the one who messed up," Lance said.

"Then say it again," Keith requested hopefully. Lance smiled a little and leaned closer.

"I like you, Keith," he murmured. He continued coming closer until his lips were brushing against Keith's. The shorter boy trembled at the feeling and pressed his hand against Lance's shoulder.

"I really really like you-"

"Not yet," he whispered tilting his head away.


     There was a sudden knock on Keith's door and the two boys instantly jumped away from each other. Keith blushed loudly and Lance was staring at the floor with wide eyes. Jesus Christ…

"Keith, honey. Is Lance stay-oh! There you two are," Sarah smiled as she entered his room. Keith looked up at his mom.

"Hey mom," he greeted quietly.

"Hello, sweetie," she replied.

"Lance, would you like to stay for dinner? I can call your mom for you and tell her where you are," she offered to Lance. The tan boy glanced at Keith and then his mother.

"Uh…sure," he nodded.

"Wonderful! I'll go set up an extra place on the table," she grinned.

"Dinner will be ready soon," she sang as she closed the door behind her.

     With Keith's mother gone the air felt a lot lighter. Lance let out a deep breath he didn't even know he was holding and ran his hand through his hair. Keith shifted closer to him and returned his head to the crook of Lance's neck.

"Thank god your mom knocks," he sighed. Keith laughed a little and pressed his lips to warm tan skin. Not quite a kiss, but still close.

"Does your mom not knock?"

"Dude, your mom is so white and polite. My mom just barges in. You wouldn't believe how many times she caught me making out with someone," he replied. Keith hummed and dared to lightly kiss Lance's neck. Lance shivered and closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling as he pressed another kiss.

"Ew. Making out looks so gross," Keith murmured and kissed up further. Lance sighed and felt Keith interlock their fingers again.

"Yeah…it's real gross," he said quietly and turned his head. Keith pulled back and smiled at Lance.

"Do you like that?" He asked. Lance blinked and then smiled.

"I liked it a lot," he replied and leaned closer.

"Hold your horses, Lance," Keith said holding his fingers over his pursed lips.

"Keeeeeith," Lance whined and wrapped his arms around Keith's waist.

"Don't be such a baby. I told you not yet," Keith reminded him. Lance groaned and instead dove for Keith's neck. He giggled as Lance's lips tickled him slightly, but once he settled on Keith's beautiful pale skin it was anything but ticklish.

"Let's take things slow, Lance. There's no need to…to…" he trailed off as Lance's mouth got wetter against his throat. He grabbed at Lance's hoodie and felt tingles radiating from where Lance was touching him. "T-there's no need to rush," he sighed.

     Lance continued kissing at Keith's neck and ran his hands up his waist. Thankfully Lance's jacket hid Keith's figure well. Although it had changed quite a bit since September. His shoulders were a little broader and his already non-existent hips (by "girl" standard) slimmed out with his thighs and his waist. So when Lance pushed the jacket material aside to squeeze Keith's hips he didn't feel super anxious about it. Of course he would always feel anxious about it, but he didn't feel quite as anxious as he would if he was still pre-T.

"Lance…" he sighed.

"I wanna kiss you," he mumbled under his ear. Hearing that alone made Keith almost melt against Lance.

"I want it…but not yet," Keith breathed. Lance sighed and pulled back to look at how red Keith was.

"Okay. Whenever you say," he said. Keith smiled and nodded.


Chapter Text

     When Keith was woken up he didn't want to open his eyes. He rolled over and away from the source of the noise, but then he was being shaken and he made his own noise. A noise of distress that is. It slightly resembled "leave me alone", but at his state of consciousness (or lack-thereof) it could've just been "fuck off". That didn't stop the shaking and the noise so he snuggled further under his warm blanket. Then it was being tugged back from his face and it was probably his mom who pulled his hair away from his ear.

"It's snowing," she whispered. Keith groaned. He didn't give a fuck about snow. It snowed all the time in Michigan. Why did she expect him to care?

"That means there's no school."







"How many inches?" He mumbled.

"Not a lot, but this is Oregon. They don't get a lot of snow," she explained. Keith finally turned over and rubbed at his eyes. He looked out his window and blinked at the brightness shining through his blinds.

"I got a call from the school at five AM. It looks like it happened overnight."


"I'm making pancakes right now with your dad, so…~waking up might be a good idea~," she suggested. Keith nodded.

"Okay," he mumbled.

     Sarah got off of Keith's bed and he followed her downstairs to the kitchen. Alan was still in the kitchen flipping the finished pancakes on a plate and pouring more batter on the pan. He smiled when he saw his wife and his yawning son come downstairs.

"Morning, sleepy head," Alan greeted and ruffled Keith's hair.

"Morning," he hummed.

"Are you gonna play outside in the snow today?" Alan asked.

"Probably not. It's so cold," Keith said.

"It's not anymore colder than it was in Michigan," his father pointed out.

"And I played so much in the snow at home," Keith snarked.

"Well you didn't have a lot of friends to play with either," Sarah added before sipping her tea.

"What about that friend you had over the last night. Lance, right? He seems like the kinda guy who knows how to start a snowball fight," Alan suggested.

    Keith paused when he remembered last night. Lance practically begging to kiss him while already kissing his neck and holding his hips. It felt like his hands were made to be there. He remembered how it felt when Courtney kissed his neck and how plain and dull it felt compared to the heat and the intensity of Lance.

     His thoughts were suddenly disrupted when he heard something hit the window. The three of them were silent and waited to hear if there would be another sound. Right on queue a loud thud came from the front window. Alan wondered aloud what it was, and Sarah merely took the plate of finished pancakes to start eating. She dismissed it as nothing while Keith wandered to the front window. When he peeked outside another snowball was thrown at it and he jumped. Laughter was heard outside and Keith opened the front door to see who it was. Speak of the devil.


"Hey! Look! It's snowing!" Lance shouted. His car was no where in sight, but his boots were covered in snow. Did he…walk here?

"I see that!" Keith called back and leaned against the door frame. Lance then jogged over to the front door.

"Come on, dude! Put a jacket on or something," he urged with a giant grin. His energy was comparable to a golden retriever ready to chase after a ball. Keith merely smiled and shook his head.

"I haven't eaten yet," Keith told him.

"Me too, but who cares? It's snowing! Aren't you excited or something?" Lance exclaimed. Keith laughed.

"I'm from Michigan, remember? Snows all the time there," Keith said.

"Keith? Are you talking to someone? You're letting in all the cold air," his mother said from the kitchen.

"It's just Lance," he told her as she came out of the kitchen.

"Oh, Lance! Good to see you again. Why don't you come in, it's getting chilly," she suggested.

"But the snow-"

"Will be there when you go back out," Sarah assured him. He opened his mouth again to protest, but he was interrupted by his stomach growling in its own protest. Both Sarah and Keith laughed and Sarah reached out for Lance's shoulder.

"Come inside. Alan and I just made some pancakes," she urged.

     Lance gave in and shook the snow off his boots before entering Keith's house. The moment he stepped foot inside Keith instantly remembered with red cheeks that he wasn't wearing his chest binder. In a thin teeshirt of all things. As Lance pulled off his boots and peeled off a couple of jackets Keith self-consciously crossed his arms over his chest. Great. He was nipping too. His cheeks got redder when Lance pulled off his hat and smiled at Keith.

"You've got bed head," Lance told him and ruffled his hair. Normally Keith would've slapped his hand away, but he wouldn't dare leave his chest exposed again.

"I-I need to get dressed," he stuttered.

     His mother was hanging up Lance's jacket for him as Keith bolted upstairs and to his room without another word. He quickly shut his door behind him and dug out one of his binders from his dresser. While the testosterone did reduce him down to an A cup, he wouldn't feel comfortable without some kind of compression until he found some way to pay for surgery. He then changed his shirt to something more thicker and tugged on a pair of jeans. By the time he was downstairs again Lance was shoveling pancake in his mouth at the table with Sarah. She was laughing at how hungry he was while Alan cooked some bacon.

"Perfect timing, bud. Here you go," Alan said handing Keith a plate of pancakes and bacon.

"Thanks dad," he said smiling. Alan nodded and Keith made his way to the table. Lance instantly laughed at him when he laid eyes on Keith's bed head again.

"Dude, it's still crazy," he muffled with syrup dripping down his lip.

"You're one to talk," Keith said and wiped the sticky maple off with his thumb. Lance watched as Keith slipped his thumb in his mouth and shortly sucked off the syrup with a cute sound. Memories from last night made him want to lean forward and kiss Keith for being such a tease, but he restrained himself considering his mother was right there.

"You sure are a hungry boy. I'm surprised you ran over here without any food in you," Sarah said. Lance tore his gaze from Keith.

"I was just too excited. It never snows like this in Oregon. Or at least this part. We live in the valley, so it doesn't get wet and cold enough often. Is more common higher up like in the mountains," he replied.

"Oh that's interesting. I didn't know that."

"While I really like Oregon so far, it's nice to see something that reminds me of home," Alan said as he sat next to Sarah.

"You'd think that with how little snow we get people would be excited, but apparently not," Lance said and ripped in to his bacon.

"Well, you get excited easily," Keith pointed out.

"Do I?"


"Well Hunk wasn't excited at all. When I went to his house he wouldn't even come to the front door and his mom kept telling me he wouldn't be up until noon. Then I went to Pidge's house, but her dad told me she was too focused on building something," Lance told him.

"And I'm used to snow, so you're the only one who's excited," Keith added.


"I think it would be fun for you two to go out and play together. Why don't you put some boots on and go outside with Lance?" Sarah suggested. Keith looked at his mom and then at Lance. Which was a mistake since Lance had probably the most adorable, excited, and hopeful puppy dog face. Keith's heart clenched and he sighed.

"I guess…but it gets boring after a while with nothing else to do but throw snowballs," Keith muttered in to his pancake.

"You could go in to the woods in the backyard. As long as you promise to come back, that is," Alan said with a teasing smile.

"That's a great idea! Dude, the creek is probably frozen! That would be so cool to see!" Lance blurted with endless energy. Keith sighed and took his last bite of pancake.

"Fine. I'll go get a jacket and stuff," he gave in and stood up from the table.

     After he put on a thick hoodie, a heavier jacket, a scarf, a hat, three pairs of socks, and his thick snow boots he never got rid of from Michigan he and Lance went out his backdoor. They walked down through the trees and Keith felt kinda happy walking through the snow. While he didn't like a lot of things from Michigan one thing he loved was the snow. The crunch under his boots and the sting in his nose from the freezing air made him smile.

     Lance on the other hand was like an unstoppable force. He was constantly picking up the snow and even took off his gloves to feel the interesting texture. Sometimes he'd hit Keith with a snowball and try and prompt him in to a snowball fight, but Keith shook his head each time. It was too early for a snowball fight for him. His brain was still attempting to wake up as he watched Lance enjoy the snow and shake it off of every branch he could reach.

     They passed the log that Keith carved in to before, and Keith instantly found his way to the creek again. Sure enough it was covered in ice. Judging on its transparency it was a thin layer, and when Lance tried to step on it it broke a little and the water was still liquid underneath.

     The pale boy sighed as he remembered how he imagined Lance laying next to him that night. His fingers dancing in the water as he craved his warmth again. The loneliness of the cold ripples through his reflection. The dullness of his blood when he washed his wound in the water. A lot had happened since then.

     Keith was suddenly forced out of his memories when cold snow hit his back. Lance laughed behind him as Keith glared at him over his shoulder.

"Do you seriously want a snowball fight?" He asked.

"Hell yeah, dude. Hit me with your bes-"

     Lance's words were cut off as Keith hurled a snowball at his jaw at lightning speed. Lance held a gloved hand to where Keith had got him and blinked in surprise. The dark haired boy already had two more snowballs lined up and a mischievous smirk on his face.

"Oh shi-" he was hit again and then he ran off to hide behind a tree.

     Keith calmly walked over to his tree and easily dodged the mediocre snowballs being tossed at him. He then spotted Lance dash to another tree and hit him again. A grin spread across his face as Lance grunted and ducked on the ground to pack more snowballs.

"Holy shit, dude!" He was grinning too as he tossed another snowball at Keith.

     Lance ran away again, but Keith remained walking. Keith hit him two more times and then Lance hit him back once while missing three more times. Eventually Keith caught up to him and straight up shoved snow in his face while the tan boy was packing another ball. Lance screamed, but it faded in to laughter as he stumbled backwards and in to the snow. He barely grasped Keith's scarf, but he didn't manage to take Keith down with him. So he laid their in defeat in the snow looking up at the pale boy.

"You win…holy shit, dude you're good," he said with heavy breathing. Keith chuckled and crouched down near his feet.

"Well I basically grew up in this stuff so of course I would beat you," he replied.

"Well I am pretty stupid," he said. He then sat up and flipped around so he was looking up at Keith on his back.

"What are you doing?" Keith asked. Lance answered by dragging his arms and legs back and forth in the snow to make a snow angel. Keith laughed.

"A snow angel? Are you serious?" He questioned.

"You should make one too," Lance prompted. Keith sighed and laid down on his back. The top of his head was almost touching Lance's as he started to move his limbs back and forth in the snow. He then giggled at how ridiculous he felt, and when he tipped his head back far enough he could see Lance smiling back at him.

"This is stupid," Keith said.

"But it's fun, right?" Lance asked.

"Snow angels only make it a pain to go back inside. It soaks in to my jeans," he replied. Lance then rolled over and looked down at Keith smiling. "What?"

"I like seeing you smile," he murmured. Keith blushed and smiled a little wider.

"You're stupid," Keith said and moved back a little so he could turn around on his stomach too and face Lance.

"It's a good thing I have you to stop me from being so stupid all the time," he hummed and glanced down at Keith's lips. He wetted them as he noticed Lance's gaze.

"How many people have you kissed before?" He whispered. Lance looked up to his eyes.

"I dunno. I kinda lost track. When you go to parties like the one we went too it's easy to kiss more people than you ever thought you would," he answered honestly.

"Well, how about how many people have you kissed that mattered to you?" Keith rephrased. Lance chuckled.

"None," he replied. Keith raised a brow. "I know I know, but it's high school. It's hard to find someone who actually matters."

"I guess you're right."

"How about you? Ever been kissed?" Lance asked. Keith blushed.

"Well…Courtney kissed me, but I didn't kiss her back. So technically yes, but I wouldn't count it. It didn't have any meaning."

"I hate her for that," Lance murmured looking at Keith's lips again. The dark haired boy chuckled.

"What? Are you jealous?" He teased. Lance blushed.

"N-no," he stuttered and looked away. Keith bit his lip and inched himself a little closer.

"You shouldn't be," he spoke in hushed tones. Lance's eyes refocused on Keith, but this time it was him looking at Lance's lips.

"I've never wanted to kiss someone before." There were clouds between them as Keith leaned closer. Lance would've been insane not to lean in as well.

"Do you…wanna kiss someone now?" Lance asked. Keith chuckled and tilted his head a little.

"I may have someone in mind," he mumbled.

    Their lips brushed against each other and Lance felt electricity in his veins. His eyes slid shut as Keith moved his head and finally pressed his lips to Lance's. Every pressure and feeling of shame and guilt for liking a guy Lance had ever experienced in his life instantly melted away. He pressed back as butterflies fluttered in his stomach. His chest felt warm as if Keith was giving him energy. The hairs on the back of his neck stood up and goosebumps erected on the warmest parts of his body. His heart raced.

"One," Lance breathed as the kiss ended.

"Hm?" Keith hummed.

"I've kissed one person who matters to me," he said and opened his eyes just in time to see bright red blossom across Keith's cheeks.

"Your lips are soft," Keith sighed.

"Yours are perfect," Lance replied and reached out to cup his face.

     Again their lips met, and Keith held on to Lance's scarf. His fingers rubbed against the fabric as they kissed again shortly and then kissed once more. Which turned in to twice more, then thrice more, and then four more times until they had to break apart to breathe. Keith rested his forehead against Lance's and laughed.

"Tracy was right. You are a pretty good kisser," he said breathlessly. Lance laughed too.

"Honestly, I'm alright. Tracy is just awful at kissing," he confessed.

"No I saw you. With your lips and your tongue…you're good," he hummed and closed his eyes in bliss.

"Amateur shit," Lance dismissed and then leaned forward to give Keith a surprise peck.

"Well maybe I like the amateur shit," Keith said and pecked him back.

"Maybe I like that you like the armature shit because it means I don't have to try hard to impress you," Lance replied and kissed Keith a little longer than a peck.

"I like that you're still trying to impress me though," Keith giggled and kissed him a lot longer than a peck. When he pulled away Lance had a dopey smile as he chased after Keith's lips.

"I like kissing you," he mumbled between kisses and tilted his head to a new angle.

     Keith allowed Lance to kiss him multiple times. It was nice, and the sensation of their lips moving together made him feel like he was floating. His head didn't feel like it was on right and he eventually had to push Lance back for air again. He panted and rested his red face on Lance's shoulder.

"Guess what?" Lance whispered.

"What?" Keith sighed.

"You just had your first make out session," Lance teased. The pale boy pulled back with wide eyes.

"W-what? N-no that wasn't making out th-that was just k-kissing!" He stuttered. Lance howled with laughter.

"You're cute if you think that just now wasn't a make out session," Lance chortled. Keith glared at him and blushed.

"You're a dick," he said and stood up. Lance quickly followed him.

"Aw, don't be grumpy, dude. At least it was a good make out session and not the gross kind you hate," Lance told him throwing his arm over Keith's shoulder.

"I thought making out had like tongue stuff and swapping spit or whatever," Keith said as they walked away from the creek.

"Well it can be, but it doesn't have to be."

"Then what's the difference between kissing and making out. I don't understand," Keith pouted.

"Allow me to demonstrate."

     Lance stopped in front of Keith. Before he could protest, Lance leaned in a gently pressed a kiss to Keith's lips. His body warmed up automatically in response and he missed Lance's lips the moment they left.

"That was just kissing, but this…"

     The taller boy then cupped the sides of Keith's face and calmly brought their lips together again. This time when the kiss ended Lance merely pressed another one to Keith's mouth and shifted the angle of his head for a closer fit. Another kiss followed and this time when Lance pulled back Keith was breathless again.

"That was definitely making out," Lance said with a smirk. Keith frowned and hit his shoulder.

"You're taking advantage of the fact that I'm letting you kiss me now," he grumbled and marched passed him.

"Maybe, but if you ever don't want me to kiss you just tell me," Lance smiled as he caught up to him.

     Keith didn't respond as they walked through the snow together. He wasn't surprised when he felt Lance's gloved hand slip in to his. In fact he welcomed it and even tugged off his own fingerless gloves. When their hands returned together it was skin against skin and Keith forgot he was supposed to be grumpy. They went back to small chit chat on the walk back to Keith's house. It was a mutual agreement that it was rather cold and they should head back. Other than that they talked about class, and how Mrs. Haggar would punish them even through the snow wasn't the classes fault.

     When they emerged through the trees Lance paused at the sight of Keith's house. The other noticed and stopped too. Their fingers remained stubbornly intertwined.

"Is there something wrong?" Keith asked. Lance shifted his weight nervously.

"Are you parents…okay with this?" He muttered looking at their hands. Keith blinked.

"Lance…I…" he bit his tongue. Was this really something he was ready to say?

"They know that I'm…"

"But do they know we're…"


Neither of them wanted to say it.


"They don't know," Keith replied.

"Do you want them to know?" He questioned. Keith thought for a moment.

"I dunno. It's not that I'm ashamed or embarrassed of us but…it's kinda just awkward I guess."

"I guess what I'm trying to ask is if I should let go," Lance reiterated. Keith smiled a little and looked at their hands.

"You shouldn't," he said. Lance smiled back.

"Good, because I think you'd have to pry my fingers off one by one if you said I should."

"I think I could do that pretty easily," Keith said and pulled Lance to his backdoor. Lance laughed and followed him in to his house.

Chapter Text

     After they brushed off all the snow from their clothes and wiped off their boots they stepped inside. It was toasty and warm, so they instantly de-layered and pulled of their boots with haste. Sarah and Alan were in the kitchen preparing some hot cocoa. Alan was a little stiff, but Sarah seemed happy as a clam.

"Welcome back, boys! Did you have fun?" She asked. Keith nodded and blushed a little while Lance grinned with excitement.

"So much fun! You should've seen the creek, the top layer was frozen! And Keith barely kicked my butt in a snowball fight, and then we made snow angel-"

"Wait, barely? Dude I totally annihilated you," Keith interrupted.

"Well that's because you were playing dirty and shoved snow up my nose," Lance reminded him. Keith chuckled.

"That was hilarious."

"How violent of you, Keith. I didn't think you could be so aggressive," Sarah commented. Alan remained silent as he poured the hot water in to everyone's mugs.

"He was scary. Like the way he came at me was like stuff from my nightmares," Lance exaggerated. Keith rolled his eyes.

"Wow! Well, sounds like you two had a lot of fun playing in the snow together," she said cheerfully. Keith and Lance gave each other knowing looks.

"I guess it was fun," Keith hummed.

"You guess? What? Was I not as fun as you thought I would be?" Lance teased with a flirtatious tone. Keith lifted a brow.

"You want the honest truth?" He questioned.

"Bring it," Lance challenged. Alan quickly whispered something to Sarah before calmly making his way upstairs. Keith noticed it, but didn't mind it. With Lance next to him his father could've been more obvious about his discomfort and it still wouldn't effect him.

"You were even more fun than I anticipated," Keith said before walking past him and accepting the mug of hot cocoa his mother was holding out for him. Lance blushed a little and turned around. Sarah set a mug down for him as well and was biting back a giggle.

"Cocoa?" She offered in an innocent tone. A little too innocent.

"Uh, s-sure," he nodded and then took the mug from the counter.

"I called your mom, Lance, so she knew where you are, and she told me you should be home before dark. Would you like a ride home?" She offered. Lance hissed as the cocoa burned his tongue, and shook his head at the same time.

"Ah! That's hot…uh, it's okay. I can walk. It's not too far," he assured her.

"Are you sure? It's gonna get colder the later it gets," she reminded him.

"It's okay, Mrs. Kogane. I've got it," Lance insisted.

"Okay, if you say so," she sighed and pulled out a can of whipped cream. Keith was holding out his cup when he tried to wait for the drink to cool down, but got too impatient. His mother squirted a dollop in his cup.

"Want some?" She offered.

"Nah. I already burned my tongue, so there's no point," Lance said. He sipped his cocoa again and hissed once more. Keith chuckled and licked the top off of his whipped cream.

"Why don't you two watch a movie in the other room? We have both a VCR player and a DVD player," she suggested.
"Sure. I guess," Lance said.

"Alright, Keith sighed and stool up with his mug.

     Lance followed him in to the living room and watched as Keith picked out a movie from his collection. He didn't have a preference, so whatever Keith picked would be fine with him. It turned out they were watching the breakfast club on the DVD player, but Lance wasn't really thinking about the movie. He was thinking more about how he hadn't seen Keith in less than a hoodie often. Sure he wore just a shirt over for his birthday, but it was way baggier than the shirt Keith was currently wearing. It wasn't necessarily a skin tight teeshirt, but it was tighter than his hoodie. He looked…really nice.

     Surely it was obvious Lance was staring, but he didn't care. Seeing more of Keith was almost surreal. His arms turned out to be as pale as his face, and his waist was mesmerizing. Blue eyes raked him up and down until he took a seat next to Lance and grabbed a blanket to share. Lance was still clutching his cocoa and sipping it as he continued to stare at Keith's face. After he had grabbed his own cocoa he looked at Lance and blinked in surprise to already find him staring.

"Uh…is there something on my face?" He asked. Lance shook his head. Keith frowned.

"You're really hot," Lance blurted. Keith blushed bright red and then glared at him.

"S-shut up," he stuttered. Lance laughed and moved closer to him.

"Hey, guess what."

"What?" Keith grumbled in to his mug.

"We totally made out in the snow," he said with an unbelievable grin. Keith flushed deeper and tried to hide himself more in his cocoa.

"I hate you," he muttered before taking a sip.

"Is that why I was more fun than you expected?" Lance challenged. Keith lifted his mouth from his mug to protest when Lance suddenly leaned forward and licked the whipped cream off of Keith's upper lip. He then gave him a short kiss and pulled back with a satisfied smile.

"You're gonna pay for that," Keith threatened and set their mugs on the coffee table.

"I'm legitimately scared right now," Lance replied seriously as he let Keith take his mug.

     Instead of responding with words, Keith tugged Lance's face closer to his and planted a kiss on him. Lance froze in shock, but quickly sank in to Keith's warmth. It was a rather short kiss, but it left Lance wanting more and wrapping his arms around Keith's waist. The shorter boy had to lean away to disconnect their lips and snickered when Lance continued to kiss his neck.

"Okay okay, put a cap on it," Keith giggled.

"You are cruel," Lance hummed and kissed his jaw.

"Ah-hem." Keith and Lance froze and saw Sarah standing at the bottom of the stairs. "I'm going upstairs to talk to Alan. While I'm gone I expect for there to be no touching from the waist down," she said eyeing Lance's hands now on Keith's hips. He blushed and moved them up to Keith's ribs. She smiled.

"I'll be right back."

"Okay," Lance said quietly. They stayed still until Sarah disappeared upstairs and then looked at each other. It was silent until Keith smiled and giggled a little. Then Lance was laughing too, and buried his red face in to Keith's neck.

"God…I can't tell if that was awesome or awkward," Lance grinned.

"Why are you even considering awesome?" Keith asked.

"Because she didn't freak out."

"That's just my mom. My dad is probably having a mental breakdown as we speak just from seeing us hold hands outside."

"Plus the not so subtle flirting might've done a number on him," Lance added. Keith rolled his eyes.

"It was your fault."

"Maybe, but I don't regret it," he said. Keith shook his head and looked at the screen.

"Just watch the movie."



"Alan, you promised you wouldn't be difficult about this," Sarah spoke softly yet sternly. He sighed.

"I know I did, but it's different when it's right in my face," he said.

"And that's okay, it'll take some time getting used to."

"I want him to be happy. I really do, but…growing up the way I did…it's hard not to feel at least a little uncomfortable."

"Honey, I know. Neither of us are used to it, but I know about your parents. Keith doesn't, so who knows what he's thinking? I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him."

"…does it really make him happy?" Alan asked.

"What? Being gay? I highly doubt there is one overall happy gay person in America with the kind of treatment they are given."

"No…well, yes, but also his…h-his friend."


"Yeah? Does he…are they happy?" He reiterated. Sarah smiled and reached out to touch Alan's knee.

"Yes. They look really happy. In fact it's the happiest I've ever seen Keith."

"That's…that's good, but what will their classmates think? I know high school and it's hell, Sarah. If kids found out then they wouldn't survive. Keith…he'd come home with a black eye or something."

"I don't know. I worry about that too, but they probably know it won't be good if others know. Lance is a smart boy, and I'm sure he cares enough about Keith to make sure he's not putting our child in danger."

"I just don't know, Sarah. There's so much going on I don't know where to start to understand."

"Well…why don't you try talking to him?"

"I do talk to him."

"No, I mean have a conversation with him about it, and try to understand how he's feeling."

"Sarah, I dunno-"

"Seriously, Alan. I think it'll be good if you got to know our son," she urged. Alan sighed again and stood up.

"Okay. I'll go talk to him," he said.

"Oh, wait," she grabbed his hand.


"Now is probably not the best time. I left them alone downstairs and it looked some couple-y activity was going down," she warned. He cringed.




     The snow cleared up pretty quickly actually. Some had hoped that since it was the last week before break that the snow would continue through the rest of it. Unfortunately it only lasted two days before the roads were deemed safe to drive on. So that's how Keith found himself spending his last Thursday before break listening to Lance and Hunk talk about…boy stuff. Pidge didn't seem pleased with it either, but Keith didn't really have an obvious reason to be uncomfortable. He quietly sipped his juice box as he prayed for their conversation to move on before they included him.

"No seriously dude. Three times a day or else I get crazy cranky," Lance said.

"Ugh, dude. That's just…that's just too much," Hunk sighed.

"Says you. It keeps me energized," he replied with a grin.

"How do you even have the time to do that? Like how? I'm exhausted just trying to figure it out," Hunk asked in distress.

"Well I always take showers in the morning anyways so it's easy to just jerk it then. After school is always the most optimal time since my mom is still as work and the kids are at daycare. Meanwhile my old man is so deaf he wouldn't hear me if I was screaming bloody murder. Then I end my day with a nice dinner and escaping to my room for one last round before blissful sleep," Lance explained. Hunk frowned deeply and then turned to Keith with haunted eyes.

"Dude, are you hearing this?" Hunk asked pointing his thumb to Lance. Keith blushed and then glanced over at Lance. Shit.


"Doesn't that sound exhausting? Like three times a day? Isn't that a lot?" He sounded like he was desperate to prove that Lance was crazy.

     If Keith was being completely honest he's never masturbated more in his life than he has been the past few months. Sometimes he just couldn't bare the hatred for that single part of him, but when he could bare it he was loving every centimeter of it. The testosterone really did a number on his sex drive, and some nights he just couldn't stop. He lost count of the number of orgasms he's had, and worse he stopped caring really. Still, it felt wrong. Even though it was a "manly need" he still felt the shame masturbation came with when he was perceived as a girl.

"I-I guess. I don't…really do it," he lied.

"Bullshit!" Lance blurted. Keith lifted a brow at him, and the taller boy suddenly flushed bright red and covered his mouth looking away. It was easy to forget just how interested in Keith's sex life Lance was when they were at school. More like lack of a sex life though…

"Wait, you mean you don't masturbate?" Hunk asked. Keith looked over at Pidge who was drowning them out with headphones and then back at the other two boys.


"Like at all?"

"N-never," he stuttered. Hunk stared at him skeptically.

"I don't believe you," he said.


"I mean I know I don't do it often, but I still do it. Us guys it's like…we gotta. Not like Lance though. That's crazy."

"Hey! Everyone is different!" Lance shouted in protest.

     Right. Us guys. He was a guy now. He could be honest about this. Keith took a deep breath.

"Okay…you're right. I…do it," he admitted.

"Ha! Knew it!" Hunk exclaimed.

"Okay, but how often?" Lance asked. Keith turned bright bright Crimson. The color even reached the tops of his ears.

"Oh…that's not a good sign," Hunk mumbled.

"I…I-I don't do it daily…but when I do it…I do it a lot," he admitted. Hunk furrowed his brows, and Lance was starting to regret asking. Dear lord give him strength.

"How much is 'a lot' though. I need to prove to Lance that three times a day is too much," he urged. Keith bit his lip.

"Like…f-five times a night," he stammered quietly.


"F-five times a night," he repeated a little louder.

"Dude speak up, it sounds like you're saying 'five times a night'," Lance prompted. Keith buried his face in his hands and nodded. They were both silent for a moment.


"Holy shit, five times a night?" Hunk whisper-yelled. Keith nodded again.


"Like in a row? How the hell do you do that?" Hunk asked. Keith looked up at him. How did he do it?

"Uh…I mean…just kidding?"

"Nuh-uh, dude. You said five times and I can tell you are not lying," Hunk insisted. Keith sighed in defeat.

"I do it…differently, okay?" He grumbled.

"What?" Hunk questioned.

"How so?" Lance inquired. Keith made explicit eye contact with him and he could practically see the chills running up Lance's spine.

"It's not important," Keith replied simply.

"Aw man. You guys are both crazy," Hunk said. Lance held Keith's gaze as he innocently continued to sip his juice. Bullshit.



"Okay. How do you do it?" Lance demanded to know. Keith blinked at him cluelessly from the passenger seat.

"Do what?" He asked.

"Cum like five times in one night! That's like impossible!" He blurted. Keith raised a brow.

"What, do you expect me to give you the full details?" He questioned.


"Then no," Keith replied. Lance glared at him.

"Seriously, dude. It's messing with me. I need to know how it works," he sounded desperate. Keith scoffed.

"You just want me to talk about how I masturbate so you can jerk off to it later," Keith accused. Lance turned bright red. Well that was pretty close to his original plan.

"N-no! I'm just…when I do it it's like I can't go again for at least an hour," he muttered. Keith bit his lip. He really dug himself in a hole here, didn't he?

"I-I guess I'm just different. You said so yourself, everyone is different," Keith said.

"Still, that's like a shit ton."

"It's not like I do it every night," he grumbled.

"You don't?"

"I don't. Some days I…I can't even stand to even think about doing it. It's just when I can I…I get carried away and it's…really embarrassing," he tried to explain with red cheeks.


"Yeah," Keith sighed.

     Lance could tell Keith was a little upset. He would've reached over and held his hand, comforting him and assuring him there was nothing to be embarrassed about. He should've done that, but if felt a little awkward comforting Keith about sexual stuff. Considering how reluctant he was to talk about it perhaps Lance should've left it alone. But he was too curious, too eager about Keith. He wanted to know everything about Keith that made him gasp and moan and shiver with pleasure. He wanted to please Keith and make him feel amazing.

     The tan boy ended up leaning over and brushing his lips against Keith's neck. He shuddered at the feeling of Lance kissing his skin again and let his eyes roll back shut. Keith didn't bother protesting since it made him feel less nervous, and when he turned to face Lance he was rewarded with a kiss on the lips. There were hushed warnings in the back of his mind about how people would definitely see them making out in Lance's care in the school parking lot, but he didn't care. He couldn't care. Not when Lance's lips were so gentle and slow and teasing.

     Keith sighed against Lance's mouth and pulled back with half lidded eyes. Lance immediately went back to his neck and threaded his fingers through Keith's midnight black hair. The pale boy hummed with delight and gasped at the feeling of quick teeth over his collarbone.

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, Keith," he whispered and nipped a little higher. Keith's brows knit and he clenched his teeth as another sound threatened to break free.

"Lance…" he sighed with heavy breathing. Lance dragged his teeth softer and slower over his throat, and Keith barely let a groan escape him.

"I wanna see you like that…just cumming again and again…" Lance mumbled, drunk off of Keith's sounds.


"I wanna do that to you…and touch you…Keith."

     Lance returned to the other's lips and desperately kneaded in to Keith. It didn't last long before Keith pulled back again. He was an embarrassing shade of red with heavy breathing. Misty blue eyes stared at Keith as he waited to feel his soft kiss again. Unfortunately he didn't.

"I…I don't think we should have sex…at least not for a while," he announced. Lance blinked out of his lustful daze.

"…o…okay…um," he cleared his throat. "I-Is there a reason why you think that? Like are you scared or are you…just not ready or something?" He asked. Keith bit his lip in frustration.

"I…I'm terrified…to be honest," he admitted quietly and pulled away. Lance frowned.

"Okay. I can…that's okay, but just know that you can trust me. I mean…I've never done…whatever gay guys do, but I-I'd always be careful," he assured him. Keith looked over at him with almost a pained expression.

"It's not that simple, Lance," he said.

"It…okay. Well-"

"There are somethings you just…don't know about me, okay?" He blurted. Lance sounded desperate to be comforting for Keith, but Keith couldn't stop thinking about the disgusted look on his face if he ever pulled down Keith's boxers.

"I'm gonna walk home today…I'll call you after dinner," he muttered and opened the car door.

"Keith, wait," Lance gently grabbed Keith's sleeve and he paused. "Look, I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but it's freezing outside. Your mom would kill me if I let you go home in this weather."

"I'm fine. I just need to clear my head, I promise," he assured Lance. The tan boy nervously bit his lip.

"Are you sure?" He asked. Keith turned away from the door completely and kissed Lance sweetly on the lips.

"I'm sure. It's okay, Lance. It's not your fault," he told him. Lance nodded and rested his forehead against Keith's.

"I like you, Keith, and I care about you a lot. Never forget that, okay?" He said. Keith nodded.

"I won't."

Chapter Text

"Yeah…no I'm fine…it wasn't too chilly I had a jacket on…I dunno, it might've been yours…" Alan heard Keith laugh in the kitchen. "Yeah it was…oh you actually want it back?" He laughed again. "That's hilarious. The only way you're seeing that jacket again is when it's on me…mmm…it smells nice…like you I guess…s-shut up its…" he snorted. "You wish…yeah I didn't imagine Prince Charming having biceps with the circumference of a clementine…oh I see, they're strong clementines…" he chuckled in a rather flirty way. "Well I never said I didn't like clementines."

     Alan had been listening to his son's conversation ever since dinner ended. He was kinda waiting for it to be over, but also kinda listening in to try and understand how Keith talked to his…boyfriend? Ever since Sarah told him to have a chat with Keith he had been struggling to find the time to actually chat. Alan was working when Keith was there, and when Alan was free Keith was either studying or talking to Lance and he didn't want to disrupt either of those activities. Sarah was right. He did sound extremely happy. So he took a deep breath and walked in to the kitchen.
Keith's eyes instantly connected with Alan's and his grin faded. He looked down at the counter as Lance continued to chat on the other line. Alan cleared his throat and grabbed a cup from the cupboard.

"Uh hey, can I talk to you later? I just remembered I have financing homework to do…I'll see you tomorrow…yeah, okay. I-" Keith blushed. He glanced at his dad and nervously wetted his lips. "…I-I can't wait either…bye," he muttered and then hung up. Alan filled his cup with water.

"Who was that?" Alan asked.

"Oh…j-just a friend," Keith stuttered and got off the stool he was sitting on.

"Yeah? Which one?" Alan leaned against the counter and sipped his water.

"Just…Lance. I uh I'd love to chat, but…financing…homework," he said and pointed upstairs. Alan set his cup down.

"Why don't we have a little talk," he proposed. Keith frowned.

"I-I'd love to, but homework-"

"Can wait for now," Alan interrupted. "I think it would be nice for us to talk." Keith sighed and then sat back down in his stool.

"Okay…what do you want to talk about?" He asked. Alan shifted his weight.

"You know I love you, right? You're my…my son, and I just want what's best for you, right?" Keith nodded. "Sarah talked to me the other night, and…she's amazing she really is. I wish I could be that amazing, but I need some help sometimes. So…she told me that I should try talking to you to get an idea of…what you're feeling so I can understand better," he explained. Keith blushed.

"My feelings?" He questioned.

"Uh…your qu…gay feelings…I think," he stammered awkwardly. Keith furrowed his brows.

"Okay, um. I guess it's just like straight feelings but…not?"

"Wow. Insightful," Alan muttered. Keith shrugged with his hands up.

"I'm sorry, dad. I'm not quite sure what to tell you. It's not really different from how you feel about mom it's just I feel that way about guys," he attempted. Alan nodded.

"And this…Lance guy…is he your…" he trailed off and made an uncertain gesture with his hand.


"Boyfriend?" He managed with a grimace. Keith turned bright red and glanced away.

"Um…w-we haven't…really-"

"Ah, I understand," Alan nodded. Keith frowned.

"You do?" Keith questioned. Alan laughed.

"Heh, oh yeah. In high school I dated this one Latina girl. My dad wanted me to date another Japanese girl to keep our nationality strong. He was a little hypocritical since my mom was white, but he said that she was possibly the biggest mistake he ever made."

"Whoa, really?"

"Yup. They got a divorce when I was in college. But yeah I didn't know what to call that relationship with Maya. I almost fell in love with her, and we would secretly meet outside of school. Whenever my friends asked if she was my girlfriend I'd have that same reaction," Alan told him with a fond smile.

"Y-you did?" He stuttered. Alan nodded.

"It was very different when I was a kid. My dad's parents disowned him for having a baby with a white woman. Everywhere in America people were suspicious of the Japanese because of the war. That's what he told me life was like when he was a teenager, but I wasn't born until a little later."


"When I married your mom…he had a hard time accepting it. He told me I was making a mistake, but I never listened to him. I didn't want to be like him to my own child and…I feel like I have been," he sighed. Keith was silent for a moment.

"None of our friends know…there are a few rumors, but…it's pretty hidden," Keith said changing the subject. Alan nodded.

"I imagine it wouldn't be safe if you told people about it."


"Keith, I want you to know that I love you, and I'm trying. I don't want to be like my dad," he said. Keith smiled.

"From what you've told me…you don't even come close."


     Lance sighed deeply as he read the next question on his packet. His legs swung off the side of Keith's bed and his neck was at a rather uncomfortable angle propped up against the wall. He clicked his tongue idly and repetitively while Keith sat writing down actual answers at the head of his bed. The dark-haired boy paid no attention to Lance's excessive sounds and movements, and rather referred back to the book again.

     Blue eyes shifted at the sound of a page turning and Lance watched Keith go through what he assumed the most recent chapter they read. He remained oblivious to Lance and wrote down another answer. Lance then returned his focus to his barely even half finished packet and then tossed it to the side. He let out a long and loud groan as he rolled over on his stomach and closer to Keith.

"What do you want?" Keith murmured. Although he was too focused on his work to actually care about what Lance wanted.

"I'm bored," Lance announced.

"Do your packet," Keith replied.

"Ugh, but it's not due until after the break. Why waste time on it now?" He hummed and poked Keith's knee.

"The sooner you get it out of the way, the less time you'll worry about it," Keith hummed and moved on to the next question.

"I'm not worried about it," Lance claimed.

"It's four pages long."

"No biggie."

"Front and back."

"What?" Lance deadpanned. Keith chuckled and finally broke his eyes away from his work.

"This is Haggar we're talking about. Of course it's front and back," he pointed out. Lance sighed.

"Well. I don't have it half done anymore, but I have it a quarter finished," he mumbled. Keith shook his head.

"You can do it in little increments if you want, but I'm almost done with page three," Keith told him.

"Maybe that's why you do good on quizzes. You're like speedy-mc-speederson when it comes to answering questions."


"Or maybe I'm just too distracted when we take quizzes," he said smiling up at Keith. The pale boy frowned and looked back.

"What's distracting you?" He asked genuinely concerned for Lance's ability to focus. Lance pursed his lips in thought and ran his forefinger in a circle around Keith's knee.

"Oh just this really cute guy who sits next to me. I kinda like him, and I think he might like me back," he hummed. Keith blushed and glared down at him.

"You're pathetic," he grumbled and went back to answering questions.

"Don't you think you deserve a break though? You've been working this whole time and I'm exhausted just watching you. Maybe you should come down here. ~I'm very lonely~," Lance sang the last part and rested his chin on Keith's knee.

"Now you're distracting me," he said.

"Y'know this isn't exactly what I had in mind when I suggested that we 'study and hangout'," Lance told him.

"What? Did you think we'd just hangout the whole time?"
"Maybe not hang out, but doing some other kind of out…chill out…pig out…make out…y'know."

"You're ridiculous."

"I'm just a lonely little boy who wants some affection, is that wrong?" Lance asked innocently.

"According to the law, you're an adult," Keith pointed out. Lance chuckled and pushed himself off his stomach. He gently shoved Keith's supplies to the side (off the bed) and crawled closer with a flirty grin.

"Then allow me to do something more adult," he murmured and then pressed his lips to Keith.

     All Keith's determination and motivation to keep studying suddenly dissolved the moment Lance kissed him. He was starting to become aware of his weakness to Lance's mouth and his mind blowing kissing skills. Even a single peck left Keith dreaming of the next one. Something about the fact that they had to keep it hidden made him cherish it so much more. Thursday and Friday were absolute torture seeing him at school and not being able to kiss him. Not being allowed to kiss him. But now they were alone. Now no one could stop them.

     A sigh escaped Keith as the kiss ended. The centimeter or two of space between him and Lance was so small, yet it felt so far. He looked down at Lance's mouth and knew he was done for the moment he saw those pearly white teeth softly play at the edge of his lip. It was a losing battle from the start, but now he was practically on a silver plater with a card next to it saying in fancy cursive "for Lance McClain". Good thing he looked hungry.

     Keith kissed back when Lance tilted his chin forward again. The taller boy moved so he was sitting rather than on all fours, and gently cupped Keith's face with his now free hand. Keith could never get used to the tingle in his stomach whenever Lance touched him so softly. He didn't have an urge to try and get rid of it either. Lance gave him butterflies even from the smallest touches and he loved every touch he's experienced.

     It was a slow movement of lips against lips. Each kiss was drawn out and each breath in between was like nothing. The slow kisses like those were Keith's favorite so far. The quick ones took more of his breath, and the neck kisses were nice just a little too wet at times. Though he will admit sometimes it feel nice when it's wet. Maybe a little too nice.

     But this was perfect. Lance's hand running through his hair, his lips pressed to Keith's, and his warmth more radiant than ever. Keith could kiss Lance like this for ages. Lance on the other hand seemed to have other ideas.

     Keith furrowed his brows when he felt a hand on his lower back, but his eyes snapped open when he felt his shoulder blades come in contact with his bed. He uncrossed his legs to try and ground himself only for Lance to crawl between them and keep them open with his body. When he pulled back he smiled a dopey smile.

"I wanna try something," he whispered. Keith blinked at him.


"It's a different kind of kissing. I think you'd like it," Lance told him. Keith frowned.

"I don't like the messy stuff," he said.

"It's not messy, trust me. Can I try?" He asked. Keith hesitated and then nodded. Lance grinned and then lowered himself closer to Keith's lips.

     The kiss definitely started out normal. It was warm as usual and Keith hoped it wouldn't actually change. If it did he hoped it wouldn't be too drastic. Lance's lips pressed against Keith's per usual, but between that kiss and the next there was something hot and slimy that brushed over Keith's bottom lip. He furrowed his brows in confusion and then felt it again after the next kiss. Then Lance pulled back and sighed.

"Dude, you gotta open your mouth a little," he told him.


"It'll feel less awkward, I promise," he hummed and leaned down again.

     This time Keith decided to comply. At first he forgot to do as Lance asked, but quickly remembered last second the next time he did it. Finally, after a third try, Keith opened his mouth at the right time and felt Lance's tongue dip in to his mouth. It definitely felt weird and wet, but it wasn't horrible. It still felt a little weird though, and Keith couldn't figure out why. Lance pulled back again and explained as if he could read Keith's mind.

"You need to use your tongue too," he announced.

"H-how?" He stuttered.

"Just try and nudge mine with yours," he said and ducked down one last time.

     Keith did as Lance told him to, and gently pushed his tongue up after the first kiss.




     They did it again and Keith shivered.




"What is this?" Keith sighed.

"A better way to make out," Lance muttered and instantly resumed.

     It truly was a better way to make out. Lance's mouth was even warmer now. Almost hot, thanks to his tongue, and definitely wet. Good wet. Just the right amount of wet. Wet like when Lance kissed his neck. Which should've been the first sign that Keith was in trouble. His hands found their way over Lance's arms and grabbed at the back of his short sleeves. He sighed against Lance's lips and his knee brushed against the taller boy's waist.

     A smirk spread across Lance's lips between the kissing and the tongue. It carried in to when he felt Keith's heated tongue and finally faded when he deepened the kiss. Keith made a slight grunt when Lance shifted the angle of his head. He shivered as he gripped Lance's shirt tighter and his legs grew closer together trying to resist the urge to clench. His other knee touched Lance's body and the tan boy chuckled.

     Then there were hands on Keith's legs. Tan fingers brushed over denim as Lance felt up Keith's thighs. He trembled an exhale and bit his lip at the feeling of Lance touching him. His breath got uneven between the kissing and the tongue, but it got heavy when Lance decided to move down and kiss at his neck.

"Lance…" he sighed with pleasure.

"You're so cute," Lance hummed and kissed over his throat. He bit down suddenly on the pale skin, and Keith accidentally let out a surprised gasp that turned in to a moan. Lance felt the vibrations against his teeth and his lips, and instantly craved to hear it again.

"Do you like that?" He murmured before biting down again. Keith's knees pressed against his sides.

"L-Lance," he stuttered.

"I like it. I like the way you sound," he murmured.

"D-didn't my mom say above the waist?" He muttered out of embarrassment as he eyed Lance's hands on his hips now.

"And my mom said I can't date until college and yet here I am," Lance hummed and kissed his way back to Keith's lips.

     There was no way he could say no to more of those oozing kisses. It made him feel like he was melting when Lance's tongue pressed against his again. Keith trembled as Lance gently pushed up the hem of his shirt as his hands moved to grip Keith's hips. He rubbed his thumb next to the bone, and Keith outright whined. His back arched as he broke off the kiss and panted lightly.

"Lance," he breathed.

"Christ…you're so fucking sensitive," Lance cursed and found his lips again.

     Keith was so out of it and in to Lance's touch, that he didn't even realize his shirt was being pulled up. Normally he would've protested, but he didn't have to when his door suddenly swung open. Lance jumped back and Keith lazily propped himself up on his elbows still intoxicated from what Lance did to him. He blinked at the sight of his mother with her arms crossed in his doorframe. It took him a moment to process the situation before he swallowed hard and blushed.

"H-hey…mom," he said awkwardly.

"This door will remain open when Lance is in here," she announced pointing to his bedroom door. He blinked and then nodded.

"O-okay," he stuttered. She raised a brow at Lance who was bright red and staring at the floor with wide eyes. He then gave her a sheepish look and she pursed her lips.

"Above the waist, Lance," she reminded him. He nodded and couldn't bare to look at her any longer. Sarah looked back to Keith and noticed his shirt pushed up a little to expose some of his stomach. "And no taking off clothes either," she scolded. Keith frowned and then looked down at his shirt. He hadn't even noticed Lance trying to take off his shirt. That was a close one.

"G-got it," Lance stuttered. Keith nodded.

"Good. Lunch will be ready soon," she smiled and then turned around to leave. Lance sighed in relief.

"That was fucking awkward," he mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.

"Did you really try and take off my shirt?" Keith asked and pulled it back down. Lance blushed.

"Maybe? I dunno, I was kinda lost in it," he replied.

"Me too. I didn't even notice it," he said and sat up.

"Hopefully your mom doesn't mean soon soon because I can't stand up," Lance muttered and pulled his knees to his chest. Keith furrowed his brows.

"Why not?" He asked. Lance looked at him like he was crazy.

"Why do you thi…" he trailed off as he glanced down at Keith's crotch and was amazed to see him lacking a bulge. "Dude, how are you not hard? You moaned like a fucking porn star," Lance questioned. Keith looked between his legs and then back at Lance with red cheeks. He drew his knees together and shrugged.

"I-I dunno. I guess it…went away," he muttered. Which wasn't true if he was talking about his arousal. He was still uncomfortably warm and wet in his boxers and jeans.

"Went away? Your mom scared the shit out of me and I'm still not going down for a long time."

"Everyone is different, Lance. C'mon dude," he defended and wrapped his arms around his knees.

"I guess, but…" Lance sighed. "Sorry. It doesn't matter."

     Keith eyed him and noticed the dissatisfaction in his voice. It then occurred to Keith that his lack of a boner was probably discrediting to Lance. He probably felt like Keith didn't like what he did at all, and that it was just him who was actually getting off. Which, Keith could confirm, was far from the truth. So he let go of his legs and crawled closer to Lance.

"I thought it was good, though," he told Lance. He looked away. His cheeks had only gotten redder since Sarah barged in. "I really liked what you did with your tongue…and with your hands," Keith continued and then pressed sweet kisses under Lance's ear.

"Your door is open," Lance reminded him. Keith smirked. So it was working.

"I mean I really liked what you did to me," he hummed. Lance shivered.

"You're dangerous."

"I'm just speaking the truth."

"You're not helping what's going on down there."

"Oops. Silly me."

"Shut up, Keith."

Chapter Text

     Winter break flew by too fast in Lance's opinion. He had to finish the rest of his packet the night before school started again, and he could already hear Keith telling him "I told you so" when he complained about it during class. Still nothing he would say could make Lance regret all those nights he opted for kissing instead of studying. 

     It never got as heated as their first study session since the door had to be open from that point on, but Lance loved any kind of contact with Keith. Sometimes Sarah would walk by at the worst times. Like when Keith was in Lance's lap sucking on his neck, or when Lance was fully cupping Keith's ass for the first time. The worst of all was when Keith went to put his textbook on top of his dresser and then tripped before he got back on the bed. Sarah passed by just in time to see Keith fall face first in to Lance's crotch. It got to the point where she tried to give Keith "the talk" and ended up failing miserably when Keith shut her down saying it would never happen. And it wouldn't.

     Lance could write a book about the things he loved about Keith, but Keith took it with a grain of salt knowing what Lance didn't know. He was still trans, and no amount of pretending to be normal would change that. There were times where Keith felt like absolute shit staring at Lance's stiff lap. He wished he could show Lance what he did to him. How his body was supposed to react but couldn't. Now it just looked…weird. It didn't look like a normal vagina anymore, and even if Lance would be cool with his "situation" he probably would be grossed out by it. Keith felt like such a freak to the point where he started to enjoy making out less.

     Don't get him wrong. Keith loved making out with Lance. It was just when it got a little too far it was only a reminder that he was defective, yet no matter how defective he was he still wanted more. So he was in a vicious cycle of reaching out for Lance and then pushing him away before things got too crazy again. Which Lance handled fine, but he was never afraid to try and excite him further. That in return frustrated Lance because Keith didn't look aroused, but he was lying when he said it was because Lance's breath smelled and he was sweaty and gross. In reality he was wetter than the ocean. Or as wet as he could be ever since he started testosterone.

     But none of that would matter anymore. Soon the second semester would flood them with so much homework they wouldn't have as much time to do that stuff as before. Luckily for Keith that meant less awkward lies about his lack of a boner. Unluckily for Lance that meant more time day dreaming about kissing Keith and less time actually kissing Keith. Hopefully he could keep his grades afloat considering how much it over took his thoughts.

     Keith wasn't ready for the break to be over either. He nearly fell asleep in first period, and his only saving grace in second period was the teasing he needed to do to Lance for doing his packet last minute. After that he was barely awake for third and then survived lunch before taking a nap in the library as usual. Lance woke him up and drove him home. Then they spent five minutes in the car kissing each other goodbye before Keith had to pry himself away from Lance's greedy lips. He smiled as he pulled away and then stumbled tiredly out of the car. He told himself to go to bed earlier so tomorrow would be better. Unfortunately no matter how much sleep he got it wouldn't.

     The pale boy managed to keep his eyes open for the majority of class in first period, but second period they started to droop a little. He was still trying to adjust his sleeping schedule from break, and so far he was failing. Every minute he was yawning and it made all the other people in class yawn which of course made him yawn again. That continued until Keith realized there was a couple of dudes looking at him and talking to each other. The dirty-blond one smiled when Keith made eye contact with him, but it wasn't a pleasant smile. It was a smile as dirty as his dishwasher-blond hair. Keith suddenly felt sick to his stomach.

     Without another second wasted, Keith stood up and gathered his stuff. He told the teacher he wasn't feeling well and received a pass to the health office. His stomach was swirling and he desperately needed to get away from those boys. Their eyes followed him as he fled the classroom, and Keith was relieved to get away from them. He stayed in the health office until the bell rang and made his way to third. That felt like it passed within five seconds and when the lunch bell rang Keith went to the library.

     On day twos Lance usually met him in the library since Hunk and Pidge had first lunch that day. Keith sat with his own sack lunch reading quietly as he waited. It was nice and quiet, and it did a good job of clearing his mind before Lance got there. Only this time when he looked up at the approaching figure there were two. Disgusting awful dirty-ass-blond hair and a face with an equally gross grin made Keith freeze and his stomach curdle.

"Hey. You're Keith, right? Keith Kogane?" Dirty blond asked as he sat across from Keith. The pale boy hesitated before nodding.

"Nice. My name is Brandon. This is my buddy Cal," the dishwasher introduced. Cal's ugly sneer only widened as he sat next to Brandon. Keith didn't reply.

"You're pretty quite, huh? Funny we see you laughing with McClain and Hunk all the time. Plus that little weirdo. That girl is totally unfuckable," Brandon went on with a smug smirk. Keith remained silent.

"Oh yeah. No tits or nothing. Fucking nerd," Cal agreed. Keith resisted the urge to glare at them. He was rather used to this kind of talk except more directed at him.

"Yeah, but I actually see you with McClain more often then the other two. What's up with that?" Brandon asked. Keith stiffened.

"Nothing," he said quietly.

"Ah, so you do talk," Brandon grinned. His smile proved to be more pleasing than Cal's, but it was still pretty awful. "Well, we've all heard the rumors, right? How ridiculous. You and Lance in a queer relationship being a couple of faggots together. That's just dumb. Lance is 100% in to chicks," Brandon said. Keith's jaw clenched and Brandon noticed. "…at least he was. He hasn't been recently," Brandon continued. Keith looked away from his beady dark brown eyes.

"Yeah. He's totally off his game," Cal agreed.

"Almost as if he has a secret girlfriend…or something," Brandon said quirking his brows as he kept staring at Keith.

"Yeah, or somethi-"

"Shut up, Cal."

"Sorry Brandon."

"I don't know what's up with Lance. We just have class together," Keith lied. Brandon whistled and tapped his hands on the desk.

"Is that really all though? Because I'm pretty sure I saw him drive you home a few times before break," Brandon said. Keith's heart was starting to race. Fuck.

"He's a good friend," was all Keith said.

"Oh. He must be a really good friend because…" he hissed with an inhale and shrugged. "Last time I checked you don't kiss your 'good friend'," he sneered. Keith's eyes widened and Brandon nodded.

"Yeah. You thought you two were being sneaky in the school parking lot? Queer-ing it up with your faggoty shit. I saw him kiss you and it was fucking disgusting," Brandon spewed. Keith glared at him before dog-earing his book.

"Anything to say for yourself, queer," he spat.

"Don't call me that," Keith said.

"What? Queer? You don't get to choose what I call you, queer. That's like a peasant asking the king not to call him the fucking scum he is," Brandon scoffed. Keith clenched his fist.

"I'm not gay," he lied.

"Lie all you want, bitch. I know what I saw and I saw McClain sucking on you like a fucking leach."

"You need to get your eyes checked. Just leave me alone, okay?" He said in a stern voice. Brandon shook his head.

"You're so gross-"

"Keith? What's happening?" Keith looked up to see Lance coming to stand next to him. He was both relieved and terrified to see him.

"Well look who it is. If it isn't the leach himself," Brandon greeted with a disgusting grin. Lance furrowed his brows as he glanced at Brandon, but then focused on Keith.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

"Aw look at that. He cares about you," Brandon cooed in a mocking tone. Keith stood up, and so did Brandon. It turned out Brandon was super fucking tall and Keith wasn't ready for it. Still he glared up at him.

"Leave me alone, or I'll kick your ass," he threatened.

"Try it, fairy. I doubt you could even-" Brandon didn't finish his sentence because his mouth was too busy being slammed against the desk. Gasps and screams in reaction to the loud whap sound came from all around them. The librarian shouted at him from the front desk and dialed the front office on the phone.

"Keith! Whoa, calm down," Lance said and held him back from Brandon. His face was bleeding, but he was still laughing a little.

"Oh yeah, hold back your boyfriend McClain," he sputtered spraying droplets of red all over Keith's hoodie.

"What?" Lance questioned. He almost sold his innocent act had it not been for the violent red color across his face. Brandon laughed again, but Keith stopped him short by smacking him across the face thanks to Lance being distracted.

"Oh, fock!" He exclaimed and spat a tooth out on the desk. "Whot the heaw!"

"Leave me alone," Keith hissed through clenched teeth and Lance tugged him away by his arms.

"Dude, calm down. He's just being an asshole," Lance urged.

"You don't understand, Lance!" Keith snapped. Brandon coughed out some more blood on his hoodie and cringed at the taste.

"Yuhr gonna bay for bis, Kogane!" He growled as Cal tugged him towards the library exit insisting on taking him to the health office. Keith lunged for him, but Lance kept him back.

"Ha! Bat's right, McClain, mbake sure bat faggot knows his blace!" Brandon called. Blood was still dripping down his face. Lance glared at Brandon, but kept his struggling grip on Keith's arms. "I hobe you rot in heaw wib him!" Brandon shouted as Cal successfully dragged him out of the library.

     Keith continued to struggle in Lance's arms until he finally squirmed free and gasped for breath. He stayed still and looked at the blood on his school work. Maybe what happened will become gossip so he won't have to explain it to Mrs. Haggar. His jaw was still clenched as his fists trembled from how tightly he squeezed them. It was like Michigan all over again.

"Keith, are you oka-"

"Don't touch me," he muttered tugging his shoulder away from Lance.

"Did he…what did he do before I got here?" Lance asked. Keith gathered his stuff and stormed out of the library. Lance was quick to follow him.

"Dude, wait up. What's happening. Why did he call me your boyfr-"

"He saw us, Lance. He saw us a-and he knows, okay?" Keith snapped again. Lance's eyes widened.


"H-he fucking knows, Lance," Keith repeated. His voice cracked and his eyes started to water. "He f-fucking kn-knows."


"He's going to tell everyone, and then everyone is gonna hate me, and then they're gonna hate you, and so many girls will t-tell me I lead them on, and so many people will try to hurt us a-and I can't handle that-"

"Keith, calm down."

     Lance stopped Keith on his decent down the stairs. Tears were already spilling from his cheeks as he looked at Lance. It was obvious he was in pain. Intense emotional pain, and for some reason Lance suspected this wasn't the first time Keith had felt it.

     He pulled Keith in to a tight warm hug. Despite his protests, Keith ended up accepting the embrace. He buried his face in to Lance's shoulder and sobbed softly against his blue hoodie. His brain was attacking him with memories from the past and emotions from the present. There were so many different things going on inside him that it was killing him. He squeezed Lance tightly and felt thankful for the small bit of relief his warmth offered him.

"Don't worry, Keith. We'll be okay," Lance promised.

"Everything is gonna be just fine."



"The student he hit was making homophobic comments, and as a school we are trying to be more accepting. But this behavior is unacceptable," Keith heard the principal tell his mom.

"I'm sorry, but this doesn't sound like Keith. Honestly, he might be extremely upset right now and I need to comfort him," Sarah said. Keith sighed and appreciated Lance's hand on his back.

"Mrs. Kogane he slammed Brandon's head on the desk. Blood was all over his face and the kids were horrified-"

"How do you think Keith feels? Brandon was using homophobic slurs and insulting him. Incase you didn't know not only is he gay, but he's also tra-"

     Keith's eyes widened and he jumped to cover Lance's ears. He squeezed his eyes shut and tears rolled down his cheeks again as he listened to his mom spill his deepest darkest secret to the principal. Lance didn't question it and merely pressed his forehead against Keith's.

"And he was bullied for it in Michigan and I did not expect this behavior from this school. He's made it almost halfway through the year without anything like this happening, and I don't want him to be harassed again."

"Sarah, I'm aware of your concerns, but sometimes kids just do what they want. We can't always stop them, so if Keith is going to do this again the next time he's provoked, perhaps you should teach him to control his tempe-"

"Do you know how much stress he's under? He's been on hormone blockers since he was thirteen. He's never experienced puberty like this before, and now it's punching him in the face all at once. You need to understand that Keith has special needs."

     Because he was different. Because he was lying. Because he wasn't telling the truth about himself. Lance dared to cup the back of his neck, but Keith shook him off. He looked at Lance with watery eyes and shook his head.

"We know about Keith, Mrs. Kogane. We've known about Keith since even before day one-"

"Then treat him how he needs to be treated! He's my son and I know the danger he is in just by existing so if you won't do anything to protect him I don't see the harm in him protecting himself."

"Mrs. Kogan-"

"I am going to take Keith home and I'm going to make sure he's okay because I know you'll just send him back to class or even detention after this," Sarah grumbled and stormed out of the principals office. Keith looked at her the moment she came out and she noticed the fast tears running down his eyes and the way his lips trembles. Then she saw him holding Lance's ears and she instantly understood.

"Oh, Keith honey," she kneeled down next to his chair and pulled him in to a hug. He let go of Lance and squeezed his mother affectionately.

"I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry, I didn't…" she sighed. "It's okay…it's okay, honey. You'll be okay. We'll be okay. Everything will be okay," she promised. She made eye contact with Lance and he frowned in a sympathetic way. Keith allowed her to pull back and looked at Lance better.

"Thank you, Lance, so much for being here for Keith. It honestly means so much more than you know," she said trying not to allow her voice to crack. Lance nodded.

"I just want him to be okay," he replied.

"I know it's going to be hard for you to get back to class after this, and you'll be worried, but trust me he'll be okay as long as he's home with me," Sarah promised.

"Okay," Lance replied.

"If you guys want, I can leave you two alone to talk a little before I take Keith home," she offered. Keith nodded.

"Okay, I'll be at the front door just down the hall out here," she said.

     The boys nodded and Keith watched his mother leave the front office. The moment they were "alone" Keith hugged Lance tightly. He took a deep breath against his neck and dared to press a kiss against his tan skin.

"I should've been there soon-"

"It's not your fault," Keith interrupted. Lance sighed.

"Keith…you're so important to me. I wish I could've slapped Brandon too, but I didn't."

"Good. I don't want you to get in trouble for me," Keith replied.

"But you got in trouble for me?" He questioned.

"Lance…this is so much bigger than just us…it's my problem," he whispered and tightened his arms around Lance.

"Did…did people do that to you in Michigan?" Lance asked. Keith shuddered at some of the few memories flashing through his head. Older kids called him tranny. Younger kids called him a freak. Teachers called him confused. There was no oasis in that desert of enemies.

"Kinda," he replied.

"Fuck, Keith-"

"Can you come over tonight? I really need you," Keith whispered. Lance paused.

"I can't come right away. I have a shift at the grocery store, but I can see you after dinner," he said.

"It'll be dark. Your mom won't-"

"She won't even know I'm gone."

"But your car is so loud when it starts-"

"I'll walk to you, Keith. Don't worry. I'll make sure I get to you," Lance promised. Keith sighed.

"Thank you."

Chapter Text

     Keith stared out the window of his mothers moving car. He was still sniffling as he thought and thought. It was hard to think when he was so exhausted, but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn't shut his brain up. He was too caught up on the way Lance cared for him. How he held him back and comforted him and didn't seem to give a shit if other people saw them. It made his lip tremble as he tried not to cry again.


     He didn't deserve it.


     By now he wasn't even thinking about Brandon. Of course Keith always had an overwhelming fear of what Brandon would do and who he would tell about himself and Lance, but now all he could think of was Lance. Keith felt like he was lying to him. It felt like he was tricking Lance by not telling him the truth, but he was too scared to tell him the truth. His fear came from reasonable experiences. It hurt to think that Lance might react like someone Keith told in the past. Either shock, betrayal, anguish, disappointment, or even pure hatred. He closed his eyes and couldn't get the image out of his head he had illustrated himself of Lance cringing at the sight of him. Of who he really was.

"Keith? Are you okay?" Sarah asked at a red light. He shook his head.

"I think I'm in love with Lance," he heard himself say. He did? Sarah reached over and comfortingly rubbed his shoulder.

"Hey, it's okay. Love is a beautiful thing," Sarah cooed.

"I still haven't told him," he murmured.

"Told him what?" Sarah questioned and started driving again when the light turned green.

"About…my situation," Keith answered.

"Honey, that's okay. You don't need to tell him if you don't want-"

"I do, I just…I'm scared to," he confessed. Sarah sighed.

"You have every right to be scared, sweetie, but Lance is a good guy. I doubt whatever worst case scenario going through your head would ever happen," she promised. Keith took a shaky breath and wiped the leaking wetness from his eyes.

"What if he doesn't like me anymore?" He murmured weakly.

"Well…you'd do what people normally do when they get rejected. You cry, and cry, and cry, but…eventually you'll get over him. You're only in high school," she assured him. Keith sniffled.

"Would he ever get over me?"

"Aw, Keith. Don't worry about that. Just know that you're amazing and you're loved," Sarah said in a motherly voice as she lovingly stroked his hair.

"I need to tell him," Keith announce quietly.



"Are you sure?" His mother asked. Keith looked out the window again and imagined that cringing face again. His freckles pinching in disapproval and his eyes filled with something akin to disgust and pity.




"Keith? Are you asleep?" Lance whispered as he entered Keith's room. The pale boy peeked from under his blanket and felt his eyes sting from crying all day.

"Lance…" he murmured weakly. Lance dared to close the door behind him and crouched down on the floor next to his bed.

"How are you doing?" He asked. Keith reached out and sought out his hand. Tan fingers interlaced with pale ones and Keith sighed.

"Come 'ere," he murmured and then lifted up his blanket. Lance crawled under the covers with him and instantly fit his arms around Keith's waist.

"I was worried about you all day. I could barely pay attention at work," Lance hummed after pressing a short kiss to Keith's forehead.

"I missed you," Keith rasped. He sounded spent, and Lance cupped the back of his neck to pull him closer.

"I missed you too. You sound tired," he commented. Keith nodded against Lance's shoulder. He slipped his hands up against Lance's shoulder blades, but kept his eyes open.

"Brandon was sent home, but Cal was going off about what happened. No one believed him, and when people asked me about it I just played dumb," Lance told him.

"Thanks," Keith sighed.

"Stacy is still trying to get your number from me. Can you believe she's still at it? You'd think after a couple weeks she'd give up, but she just keeps going," Lance said. Keith giggled a little bit.


"Honestly, I mean I'm totally not jealous, but these girls seem a little too interested in you. Like is there anyway you can get them to back off? I swear the next one I see attempting to flirt with you is going down," Lance continued. Keith smiled as Lance tried to distract him, but the heavy weight in his chest was still there.

"I really like you, Lance," he mumbled. Lance paused and ducked down to kiss Keith's head.

"I really like you too," he whispered.

     Keith sighed and then frowned. He had to tell him. Just thinking about telling him made Keith's heart race and his palms sweat. His fingers shifted anxiously and he pulled back with a red face. It wasn't red from embarrassment or from being flustered. He was red because he was hot from being too nervous. His eyes avoided Lance as he cleared his throat and took a deep breath. Was he really doing this? Was now the best time? Maybe he should wait…no. He had to tell Lance. The guilt was killing him.

"Lance…I…I-I need to tell you something," he stuttered. Lance nodded. He noticed how uneasy Keith was, so he leaned forward to give him a peck on the lips. Keith pulled away and bit his lip.

"You…you might not wanna do that…after I tell you this," he murmured. Lance frowned.

"Keith, no matter what it is I'm gonna wanna kiss you," he replied. Keith shook his head, but Lance stubbornly kissed him anyways. "C'mon, Keith. I doubt it's that bad," he whispered against Keith's lips. The dark haired boy whimpered at the heat and the closeness and buried his face in Lance's chest.

"I…I-I'm…" his hands were shaking against Lance's back. He tried to grab the fabric to stop it, but everything felt like jelly. "I'm not normal," he said. Lance chuckled.

"Keith. We're both 'not normal'. Most guys don't like kissing each other," Lance pointed out. Keith swallowed hard.

"I mean…I'm even more not normal than that. I'm…" a freak. A liar. A silly girl who thinks she's a boy.

"You're amazing, Keith," Lance murmured and kissed the top of his head. Fuck this. No more pussyfooting around. Keith needed to say it.

"I'm trans," he whispered. Lance was quiet for a while as Keith held his breath. Then he pulled back to frown at Keith and the pale boy looked back with watery eyes.

"You're…" he trailed off. Keith nodded.



"Transferring schools?"




"What?" Keith deadpanned.

"Which one are you moving too? Is it because of Brandon. Hopefully it's a nearby school. I think I could still drive you to school if it's not too far-"

"No, Lance, you're an idiot. I'm trans," he repeated. Lance blinked.

"Is that not a word used to describe transfer students?" He asked. Keith shook his head. "Oh thank god…what does it mean?" Keith sighed.

"Well…it's short for transgender…"

"I don't believe I've ever heard of that term before," Lance replied. Oh great. Now there was no telling at all how he'd react. Keith pressed his lips in to a thin frown and thought about it.

"Uh…w-well…it means…" just spit it out. "I wasn't exactly…born a boy," he said. Lance frowned.

"What does that even mean?"

"It means…when the doctors pulled me out and looked at me…they said I was a girl."



"They must not be very good doctors because you are pretty obviously a dude," Lance said. Keith slapped his hand over his forehead and groaned.

"No…Lance…that's not…oh my god."

"I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talk-"

"I was a girl! Okay? I don't have a dick, I never had one. I've always had a sad and pathetic vagina and it's annoying but I wasn't born the way I was supposed to be…a-and…oh my god I just told you I have a sad vagina forget that please," he hid his face in his hands as he waited for the backlash.

     Lance was silent for a while. Each moment he didn't say anything was like another centimeter of a red hot knife in Keith's chest. His heart was pounding and his eyes were already wet and his entire body was shaking beyond belief. All he could think about was Lance hating him. Cringing at him. Pushing him away and yelling about how disgusting he was.

"So…you don't have a dick?"

     Lance finally said something, but it wasn't what Keith was expecting. He sighed.

"I don't," Keith confirmed.

"Okay…but like…you look like a guy."

"I…I take testosterone. I saw a doctor a couple years ago and then he finally prescribed me hormones last summer. I got hormone blockers in middle school, and they stopped me from going in to…girl…puberty…stuff," Keith explained still hiding his face.

     Lance was silent again as he processed that information. Keith then peek out from behind his fingers and saw his expression. It wasn't nearly as bad as he feared it was. Lance didn't look angry or upset, but instead kinda confused and even a little curious. He looked at Keith the same as before. Keith didn't see any hatred in his eyes like he did when he usually just told people. It didn't make any sense to Keith. Maybe he needed to explain again? Then Lance would fully understand and be thoroughly disgusted like Keith expected him to be.

"I'll admit that's pretty weird, but I'm actually kinda relieved," Lance spoke. Keith frowned.


"Because that means all the times I tried to make you pop one and you didn't weren't completely unsuccessful," he said with a smirk. Keith blushed with wide eyes.

"Y-you were trying to turn me on?" His voice cracked and Lance laughed.

"Of course. I never saw you with a boner, and I would get one ridiculously quick. I thought you just didn't like it," Lance explained. Keith looked away with red cheeks.

"I-I told you it was good…" he muttered bashfully. Lance leaned closer and kissed his forehead.

"I know," he murmured. Keith stiffened a little at the feeling of Lance's lips on his skin.

"A-aren't you a little grossed out?" Keith stuttered.

"No. I'm actually just curious."

"A-about what?" He asked. Lance smiled and leaned down further to kiss his lips.

"Do you get wet?" He whispered. Keith shivered.

"Lance," he said in a warning voice.

"What? I'm curious," he insisted.

"I know what you're trying to do, and you really shouldn't."

"What am I trying to do?"

"…I dunno…seduce me?"

"Damn, you caught me. So about you being wet-"

"Lance, it's really not a good idea," Keith said.


"Because…it's…different," Keith stammered. Lance lifted a brow.

"Trust me, Keith. I am well-versed in pussy. I doubt it's that weird," he replied. Keith shook his head.

"No, the testosterone…does things and it's just different now."

"Can I see it?" Lance blurted. Keith flushed bright red and shook his head. "Okay then…" Lance hummed and ran his hands down Keith's back.

     He gently felt his hips and his waist and even rubbed his thumb under Keith's shirt. The pale boy let out a shaky exhale as Lance touched him and made him feel restless. Then a tan thumb rubbed against his hip bone and he instantly bit his lip as a soft grunt left his throat.

"Can I feel it?" He whispered. Keith hesitated.

"Do…do you really want to?" He asked. Lance nodded with half lidded eyes.

"I always want you," he said.

     Keith had to squeeze his eyes shut at the sight of Lance. He looked so determined and turned on, Keith couldn't handle it. How could he be so turned on by a freak?. If he hadn't been so horny from the testosterone he would've kept saying no, but because it was Lance

"Okay," Keith sighed. Lance pressed his lips slowly against Keith's, and pulled back with a smile.

"So…you get wet instead," he stated more than asked. Keith nodded shyly as he felt Lance's hand push up a little more of his shirt.

"How wet do you get?"

"W-well the t-testosterone kinda makes me less wet, but I get…" he trailed off at the feeling of Lance's warm hand over his stomach. His fingers brushed over Keith's binder, but he didn't pull back. "I get really turned on."

"Yeah? What turns you on the most?" Lance continued and touched more down his abdomen. Keith's lungs demanded more air as the throbbing lack of pressure between his legs made him breath heavier.

"Y-you…anything you do," Keith breathed. Lance chuckled and kissed him as he touched the front of his jeans.

"How convenient. Anything you do turns me on as well," he hummed and continued the kiss.

     Keith felt like he was dreaming. Was this really how the conversation was going? It felt like he was being rewarded for telling Lance, and if anything Lance only seemed to kiss him harder. More desperate rather than disgusted. Keith feared Lance still didn't quite grasp the situation he was in, but when he slotted his fingers between Keith's thighs and over his jeans he couldn't be more clear. He understood. He knew. He just didn't seem to care.

     A shy moan quivered between their mouths and Lance darted his tongue out to catch Keith's. His fingers pressed up as they moved back and Keith trembled. He grabbed on to Lance's shirt and let him overtake his mouth with his wet tongue.

     All his life he just assumed no one would want him like this. It was hot and Keith had a hard time believing someone else was actually touching him. He had an even harder time believing that Lance was touching him, but it was happening. Lance was touching him and kissing him and running his tongue more inside of Keith's mouth. He whimpered when Lance continued to feel outside his jeans, and moaned when Lance softly bit his bottom lip.

"You sound so cute," Lance breathed. Keith knit his brows and desperately connected their lips again.

"Feels good…" he murmured against Lance's lips and received a growl in response.

"Shit. Is this really happening?" Lance asked breathlessly.

"That's what I was thinking," Keith murmured and nudged his hips slightly against Lance's fingers.

"Jesus Christ…I hope this isn't a dream or something because you are so fucking hot," Lance muttered as he undid Keith's jeans. Keith gasped as the button and zipper were tugged down.

"Y-you're ridiculous…normally people are too grossed out to even think of doing this," Keith muttered.

"Well, I did say I'm not normal, didn't I?" Lance reminded him and slipped his fingers against the fabric of his boxers. Keith grunted impatiently and kissed Lance. His arms ventured around his neck, and his hips nudged again and again until he was rolling them against Lance's fingers.

"Fuck…" Lance panted when he pulled back for breath.

"Is this okay?" Keith breathed and rolled his hips again.

"No, it's making me lose my patience."

"For what?"

"For this." Lance pulled up and then dipped his hand in to Keith's boxers. Fingers came in contact with his wet folds and Keith gasped. He moved his leg a little over Lance's thigh to give him more access and trembled with excitement. This was the first time someone was touching him, and he was more than glad Lance was that someone.

"Lance," he gasped. Fingers moved back and forth and paused a little at his clit.

"What…is that?" Lance asked. He didn't sound disgusted, but kinda confused. Keith whined when he nudged it.

"C-clit…testosterone m-makes it g-gr…grow," he stuttered. Lance grinned and took the sensitive flesh between his fingers.

     It wasn't crazy big. Just a little bit longer than Lance was used to, and honestly he kinda liked it. Keith was gasping for breath as Lance stroked him and gently massaged him between his knuckle and thumb. His head tipped back and Lance could see his cute pink mouth, his jaw open until he bit his lip and covered the lovely view. Fingers curled in to short brown hair as Lance kissed him some more.

"You're amazing," Lance said again. Keith moaned and kept kissing him down his neck. His fingers curled extra harsh in to Lance's scalp and appreciated the vibrations from his throat. He then took Lance's wrist and pushed his hand until his fingers got to his entrance. "Shit," Lance sighed.

"Please," Keith begged and kissed his jaw.

"You're so warm…wet," Lance breathed and pushed his fingers in a little. Keith gasped and nudged his hips. "Fuck, you're loose."

"Lance," Keith moaned.

"You're like a dream," Lance murmured and gently pushed all the way in.

"L-Lance," he stuttered his name this time. Worry tinged his voice, but Lance kissed his lips to hopefully pacify him. "Do you really like this that much?" He asked. Lance nodded.

"I like it. I like it a lot. I like you," he confirmed.

     Keith opened his mouth to reply, but had to cover it to stifle a loud moan. Lance's fingers pushed against Keith's walls and filled him with a sudden hot pressure. Keith's brows knit and he buried his face in the tan boy's neck. Lance continued his fingers, rubbing them and kneading them in just the right spot. He felt Keith nudge his hips again, and groaned when he kissed his neck too.

"Fuck…goddammit, Keith."

"W-what is…I've n-never felt…Jesus Christ," he whined. Lance chuckled and moved his fingers slower, teasing the spot inside Keith that he previously have no idea existed.

"You like that?" Lance whispered. Keith whimpered, but nodded.

"I-I d-didn't know this-"

"Existed?" He chuckled. "I could tell."

"Ah…Lance," Keith moaned.

"I can't think straight when you say my name like that," Lance wheezed and moved his fingers a little faster. Keith covered his mouth again to hide his sudden moan.

"S-sorry," he stuttered through his fingers.

"God, don't ever say sorry," Lance breathed. Keith clenched his jaw and pulled away to look up at Lance.

"I can't…I-I can't cum without-"

"Trust me, babe. I know exactly what you need to cum," Lance purred and captured his lips. With two fingers inside of Keith, Lance used his free hand to rub his clit again.

"Fuck!" Keith cursed against his lips.

"I've wanted to see you like this for so long. You're so much sexier than I imagined," Lance rasped. Keith grasped at Lance's teeshirt and whimpered at the overwhelming heat and the pressure.

"Y-you've thought of me?" Keith asked panting. Lance nodded.

"All the time."


     Keith's fingers trembled and his knuckles turned white from gripping the teeshirt so hard. His hot breath spilled over Lance's lips and it caused him to growl and kiss Keith again. The pale boy rolled helplessly against his hands and reached up to grab his nape. His fingers dug in to short brown hair and his body felt like it was on fire. The blanket over them made him sweat, and the sensation mixed with all of what Lance had told him made him moan. Keith broke away from the kiss as his breath hitched and he stiffened as the fire inside of him tipped over the edge like hot lava oozing out of a volcano. He gasped for breath as Lance gradually slowed his fingers to a stop.

"This is so cool," Lance grinned and pulled his fingers out of Keith's boxers. The pale boy continued to pant and furrowed his brows in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Keith asked.

"You don't look or sound like a girl, and you don't exactly feel like one either. It's like…really cool. Plus I don't have to learn any more skills to impress you," he said and played with the sticky stuff on his hands. Keith blushed.

"But you know I'm not a girl…at all, right?" Lance laughed.

"Trust me, babe, I noticed," he purred and then licked his wet fingers. Keith cringed and glared at him.

"T-that's fucking disgusting!"

"It doesn't taste like anything though," Lance replied and then wiped his hand off on his shirt. Keith pouted and then reached down to zip up his own pants.

"Y'know, it's kinda strange that your first reaction to hearing about my vagina is to finger me." Lance frowned.

"Are you sure it's strange that I, Lance McClain, the boy who everyone in our school knows is a major sex enthusiast, fingered you the first chance I could?" He questioned. Keith blushed deeper.

"You're lucky the testosterone has an effect on my sex drive or else I would've said no," Keith replied stubbornly. The tan boy blinked and then grinned.

"It does?"

"Lance-" Keith was interrupted by a knock on his door.

"Sweetie? Is Lance still here?" Sarah asked and stepped inside. She saw Lance under the covers with Keith and then crossed her arms. "What was the rule, boys?"

"Keep the door open," Lance and Keith groaned together.

"Good thing I caught you two before something major happened. Don't break this rule again."

Chapter Text

"Did you hear what Cal said the other day? That Keith guy beat up Brandon for calling him a faggot."

"Whoa, no way!"

"Well there are rumors about him and Lance McClain. Plus Brandon swore he saw them kiss in the parking lot."

"No way, Lance? Gay? I don't think so."

"Oh hush you guys. We have no relight meddling in their business. Besides, I think they make a cute couple."

"I mean…I guess I can see it, but Lance is totally in to girls. He lost his virginity to Tanya in middle school."

"Good point."

"Maybe he likes both?"

"That's kinda weird though…wouldn't Keith be worried about him cheating or sleazing off with a girl?"

"Lance actually hasn't been too into girls recently. I noticed Kelsey try and ask him out and he totally rejected her. He didn't even bat an eye!"

     Stacy sat in silence as her group of friends chatted about the new school drama. Nothing she heard had pleased her so far so she decided to listen more until she couldn't take it. Keith wasn't at school the day after the incident, nor was he present the day after that either. So as Stacy listened to the gossip before the school bell went off she was rather surprised to see Keith walk in to the school with Lance. That only made her scowl. She sighed and rolled her eyes.

"You guys are all insane. Obviously Keith and Lance aren't dating, that's just a rumor," she spoke up finally. Tracy smiled at her.

"Ooo, do I sense some jealousy? The prettiest most popular girl in the school likes the one guy she can't have," Tracy mocked.

"Well if you really believe they're together then you're choice of boy is out of the question too, Trace," Stacy snarked.

"Whoa whoa whoa, girls, relax. Forget about them because Chad is here for all of your womenly needs," Chad said with a smile.

"Whatever, Chad," Tracy sighed.

"No one cares about the captain of the football team anymore," he grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Still, Lance is totally in to girls, I'm telling you," Jessica continued to argue.

"Oh speak of the devil," a boy named William murmured as he noticed Lance and Keith walking past them. The two boys didn't even acknowledge them and continued their own conversation together.

"Their hands are totally touching. It must be so sad not being able to hold hands in public," Tracy fawned. Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Honestly, didn't Courtney suck Keith's dick at Chad's Christmas party or something?" She reminded everyone.

"Courtney debunked that. She was furious and told everyone he was a pussy and ran away," Stacy replied.

"Whatever," Jessica murmured.

     Stacy sighed and then glanced over her shoulder at the two passing boys. She glared at the lack of space between them and hated to admit it. They're hands were kinda touching.



"Hey Lance," Stacy said hopping over to the tan boy in gym glass. He dodged another ball and glanced at her momentarily before catching one.

"Hey, Stace. What's up?" He replied.

"Oh nothing much. Just thinking, y'know?" She hummed innocently. Lance caught another ball before it could hit her and threw it back.

"Thinking about what?"

"Just girl stuff," she said.

"Gross," he responded and jumped up to catch another ball. She cleared her throat and he rolled his eyes. "What kind of girl stuff, Stace," he said begrudgingly and threw the ball.

"I'm so glad you asked! Okay, so there's this guy I really like and I've been trying to find out a way to ask him out," she told him. He laughed.

"Stacy, you're the hottest girl in school. You shouldn't have any problems asking out a guy," he assured her.

"That's what I was thinking, but then I realized he's never dated anyone so far this year. Like by choice or something," she continued. Lance frowned at that information and dodged another ball.


"Yeah, and he's a little antisocial. I'm scared that if he does have a crush on me he's just too awkward and embarrassed to tell me because I'm so pretty and intimidatingly popular," she said. Lance looked over at her and raised a brow.

"You're really humble, y'know?"

"I'm aware of all of my positive traits."

"Neat-o. So who's this guy?" Lance asked focusing back in to the game.


"This guy you like. Does he have a name?" He reiterated rather impatiently.

"Oh, that. Yes. You know him. His name is Keith," she announced. Just as she said that a ball slammed in to Lance's face. He stumbled backwards and held a hand over the stinging pain. The couch called him out, but Stacy followed him to the line.

"You're telling me you wanna ask out Keith?" He questioned. Stacy nodded.

"Yup. Do you think you can help me out?" She asked. He sighed and shook his head.

"Don't waste your time, Stacy. He doesn't like you," he told her. She frowned.

"How do you know?" She challenged.

"We've become pretty good friends. We tell each other everything. I know for a fact he doesn't like you that way. He thinks your a sweet girl and all, but he's just not interested," Lance explained. She pouted and then bit her lip.

"Okay…I didn't wanna tell anyone, but I have a secret," she lied. Lance rolled his eyes.

"Uh huh. You got a lot of those," he dismissed.

"I'm serious Lance. I…" she sighed. Stacy was a pretty good actress. "I sucked his dick once," she blurted. Lance was silent for a moment and looked at her with confusion.


"I sucked Keith's dick. One time in the library he was in the corner by himself so I just-" Stacy was cut off by Lance's laughter. It took him a minute or two to settle down enough to speak.

"I'm sorry, Stacy, but if you really sucked Keith's dick you'd know how fucking ridiculous that is," he said with a grin. She scowled at him.

"I'm serious Lance!" She hissed. He rolled his eyes again.

"Sure you are. I totally believe you!" He called as he jogged back out in to the game. She crossed her arms grumpily.





     Lance watched Keith as he made his way to their usual spot for lunch. Hunk and Pidge were chattering about calculus class or something, but Lance didn't really understand much less care. Instead his eyes were trained on the boy approaching him. Keith really did look like a boy from head to toe. At the beginning of the year he'd only wear his hoodies zipped up and wasn't really physically there. Now his jacket, that he was still yet to give back to Lance, wasn't even with him. It was in his locker and that left him in jeans and a dark teeshirt. Needless to say Lance loved that dark teeshirt.

     More often then not he was eye fucking Keith. In class, during lunch, watching him walk to his car after school. All the time. It was his favorite hobby, and he gave himself a point each time Keith caught him and flushed bright red. So far he had a good three points, but he's only been playing since break started. He bit his lip as he looked Keith up and down, and then smiled when he met a hard glare and red cheeks. Make that four points.

"Hey, Keith," Lance greeted. Keith didn't say a word as he sat down in his usual place next to Pidge.

"Oh, hey, Keith," Pidge smiled.

"Hey," he replied and pulled his lunch sack out of his backpack.

"What's up?"

"Oh Hunk and I are just discussing our Calculus homework. Naturally, Lance doesn't understand so he's busy checking out girls or something," she told him.

"Is that so?" Keith muttered glancing at Lance with a softer glare. Lance shrugged.

"I only check out the hottest of the hot," he replied with a flirtatious grin. Keith rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Pidge and Hunk.

"So how has the past couple days been without me?" Keith asked.

"Pretty crazy, actually," Pidge said. Hunk nodded.

"Yeah, there's these crazy rumors about you beating up Brandon for calling you gay, and then there's this other rumor that you and Lance are dating," Hunk reported. Keith sighed and took a bite of his sandwich.

"High school. Is this really the best four years of our lives?" He questioned.

"I doubt it, to be honest," Pidge replied.

"Did you really beat up Brandon? I mean obviously you aren't dating Lance, but seriously I'd pay money for you to just lie to me and tell me you beat up Brandon," Hunk added. Keith chuckled.

"Yeah, I actually did kinda beat him up," he confirmed.

"Oh thank god. He's been needing a smack in the face ever since the sixth grade," Hunk sighed in relief.

"Oh I was there, and Keith did a lot more than just smacking him in the face," Lance pitched in with a smile.

"Yeah?" Pidge urged with wide excited eyes.

"Yeah, he totally slammed Brandon's face in to the desk. There was blood everywhere and he even spat out a tooth!" Lance told them.

"Whoa!" Pidge exclaimed.

"Holy shit, dude that's fucking-"

"Hot," Lance coughed.

"-cool as…wait, what did you say?" Hunk looked over at Lance. The tall boy blinked innocently and shook his head shrugging. He coughed again to emphasis he didn't say anything.

"Nothing. I didn't say anything," he lied. Keith was bright red and glared at him.

"It kinda sounded like you said it was hot," Pidge narked. Lance scoffed.

"Pff! What? Wha-I didn't say that. Are you kidding me? Pffff…pffffffffff!" He stammered. Keith rolled his eyes and face palmed himself. He shook his head and sighed.

"Yeah, it definitely sounded like you said it was hot," Hunk agreed with a nod.

"You guys are crazy, I did not say Keith beating someone up was hot. Like I totally didn't find it attractive…in the moment," he coughed the last part. Keith whipped his hand away from his face and glared at Lance harder.

"Wait, in the moment?" Hunk questioned.

"I mean…it was kind of an emotional moment. Keith was pretty upset so I wasn't actively thinking 'oh he's kinda hot when he's pissed off' like that would've been just plain insensitive," Lance explained. Keith's eyes widened when he realized Lance's goal of this entire stunt.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" He grumbled and covered his face with his hand again. Pidge and Hunk looked at Lance like he was insane.

"…but…you're thinking he's hot when he's angry…now?" Hunk questioned. Lance shrugged.

"I dunno. Depends on how you interpret it. I mean, language can only tell so much-"

"Actually, Lance, language tells quite a lot. For example, I'm using language right now to tell you to shut the fuck up," Keith interrupted. Lance grinned at him.

"But where's the fun in that?" He said in a rather flirtatious tone. Keith blushed again and looked away. The way his voice sounded should've been illegal.

"Wait wait…what's going on here?" Hunk asked.

"Nothing!" Keith snapped. Lance shrugged and scratched his face.

"I dunno, I think there's kinda something going on," Lance mused.

"Lance. Seriously. Shut your mouth," Keith hissed.

"Anything for you, babe," he replied with a cheeky grin and a wink.

"Okay, either you two are fucking with me because of the dating rumors, or there is seriously something going on here," Hunk said. Pidge nodded in agreement.

"There is nothing going on here," Keith insisted.

"Look. You two are my friends and if you guys are together then…that's your choice. You guys can't be like this around my parents though because they honest to god hate gay people," Hunk told them.

"We're not-"

"Aw really? I thought they would've been cool with it," Lance said. Hunk shook his head with a frown.

"My dad is probably cool with it," Pidge announced.

"Hey! I knew Shiro was cool," Lance cheered.

"Please do not use my guardian's first name," Pidge requested robotically. Lance nodded awkwardly.

"Yeah that was…weird," he agreed. Keith sighed.

"I want to throw myself in front of a bus," he said.

"Well if you're dating Lance then I totally understand why you'd want to do that," Pidge said.



     Keith sat waiting on the end of Lance's car. He was still kinda pissed about the stupid stunt he pulled at Lunch and wanted more than anything to go home. The dismissal bell didn't even ring before he went out to the parking lot. Despite how cold it was he stayed huddled up in Lance's jacket the whole ten minutes he waited for the tan boy to pop up out the front door. At first he met his grin with a glare, but then gave him a quick look up and down before completely turning his attention elsewhere. Hopefully that was enough to fuck with him.

"Hey, dude. You look like you're ready to go home," Lance noticed and unlocked his car. Keith walked around to the passenger side without a word and sat inside the car. "I'm never ever getting that jacket back again, am I?" Lance asked as Keith snuggled in to it more.

"You might," Keith replied.

"Yeah? How come?"

"It doesn't smell like you as much anymore," he announced. Lance's fingers fumbled with his keys and he cursed.

"Dude, warn me when it comes to the cutesy shit," Lance growled and reached down to pick up his keys.

"It's not my fault you're sensitive to anything but sex," Keith muttered. Lance chuckled and started his car.

"But it is your fault that your so damn irresistible," Lance replied. Keith normally would've rolled his eyes, but ever since he told Lance the truth about his situation he's become easily susceptible to Lances flirting.

"I-I refuse to take responsibility for your delusions," he stuttered. Lance shook his head.

"Nah. It's no delusion. You're just blind or something," Lance muttered as he pulled out and started his route to Keith's house. Keith frowned. It seriously felt like Lance had forgotten what Keith had told him. He had been acting…normal ever since. It made Keith anxious. "But I wasn't lying when I said that you're hot when you're mad," Lance told him with a smirk.

"I'm never forgiving you for that by the way," Keith said.

"For what?"

"Outing us to Hunk and Pidge."

"Oh c'mon. I knew they would be okay with it. Hunk has pretty religious parents, but they don't completely get to him," Lance defended.

"Still that was the lamest way to tell them we're dating," Keith said. Lance blushed a little and paused. He was still smiling, but it was slight. Like he was happy, but embarrassed at the same time.

"So we're 'dating'," he spoke quietly. Keith shrugged.

"I guess."

"Well we haven't really…put a name to this," Lance pointed out.

"Do we have to?"

"No…but it's interesting you're the one who said it," Lance teased and smiled at him. Keith blushed and cleared his throat.


"Are you okay?" Lance asked. Keith blinked at him.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he replied.

"You seem kinda…off. I dunno you're like distracted or something," he noticed. Keith looked away and nervously bit his lip. He was off, but it was only because Lance was acting so normal that he didn't know what to think. "Keith?"

"I just…how can you be so normal?" He muttered. Lance furrowed his brows.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean…after what I told you, a-and what we did…how can you act so normal?" Keith reiterated. Lance was suddenly hit with realization.

"Oh…you mean…"

"No one has been this…cool with it. It's scarring me," Keith confessed.

"Whoa, Keith. It's okay. You don't need to be scared."

"I'm sorry. I can't help it. I'm just scared you're not saying anything because you haven't processed it yet or something. Or you forgot about it and I'll have to tell you again, which the first time was nerve wracking enough I don't wanna have to do it again. I don't know what it is because literally no one just accepted it like that. The closest was my mom and even then she labeled me as a tomboy through elementary school." Keith rambled.

"Keith, it's okay. I didn't forget, and I'm not ignoring it, okay? I just…I figured you wouldn't want me to make a big deal of it. I thought you could use having something quote n' quote normal, and honestly it doesn't change much anyways. I still see you the same and I like you the same. If anything I like you more because I know you better. Before it felt like there was still a bit of a mystery to you, but now…I'm just glad you trusted me enough to tell me," Lance assured him. Keith looked down at his lap as he listened to Lance. The car pulled up to Keith's house and he looked at Lance.

"Are you sure?" He almost whispered. Lance nodded. He pulled the emergency break and put the gear in neutral before killing the engine.

"I'm positive," he promised. 

     Keith looked down again and then back at Lance. He pushed his bag off of his lap and leaned over to press his lips to Lance's. The tan boy instantly accepted his kiss and let his eyes slide shut to enjoy every second of contact. Which was longer than he originally thought it would be. Keith pressed another kiss to Lance as he carded his fingers through his hair. Lance tilted his head for a better angle and reached up to cup Keith's face. His thumb glided against his pale beautiful skin and his pants already felt tighter just from kissing.

     When the kiss finally broke Lance was weak to the sight of Keith's sultry navy eyes. They were lidded and stayed locked on Lance as Keith crawled in to his lap from the passenger seat. Lance's own eyes widened as his hands settled on Keith's hips and instantly started to memorize the way he looked on his lap. Sure Keith had straddled his lap before, but that was only once and not in his car in the middle of the street.

"Does this feel the same?" Keith asked in hushed tones. His weight felt good in Lance's lap, and the tan hands on his body were absolutely made to be touching it. Lance licked his lips.

"'S somewhat different," he murmured. Keith hummed shortly and tilted his head.


"Y-yeah," Lance stuttered.

"Does it feel good?" Keith continued.

"It feels…amazing," Lance breathed. Keith bit his lip and then slowly pushed his hips down on Lance's lap. The taller boy hissed when he felt Keith push against his erection and tightened his grip on those hips.

"You're already hard," Keith stated unenthusiastically and dragged his hips back slower.

"Mm…you're so beautiful," Lance blurted as Keith gave his hips an extra swivel on his bulge.

"Yeah? How beautiful am I to you?"

"You…you're so hot it should be illegal," Lance groaned.

     Keith would've scoffed. The most gorgeous boy he had ever met telling him that he was beautiful was unheard of, yet it was happening. The splatter of freckles that scrunched with his cheeks and the deep blue of his eyes were a couple of the reasons Keith was helpless to Lance. His tan cinnamon skin and warm embraces and his heated touches filled Keith's heart with a kind of feeling he didn't think he could live without. So he didn't scoff, and instead he smirked.

"Even though I don't have a dick?" Keith asked. Lance nodded.

"That doesn't even matter," he wheezed when Keith swirled his hips again.

"Oh, but it does matter. Instead of a dick, I have a nice…warm…wet pussy for you to touch and lick and feel all you want," Keith whispered in his ear. Lance shivered and whimpered.

"I want it," he sighed.

"You want this?" Keith asked shoving his hips down. Lance moaned.

"Yeah…I want it…I want all of you…I wanna lick you and eat you out until you're screaming. I wanna feel your thighs around my head and I wanna make you all wet," Lance rambled way too easily. Keith grinned and nibbled on his ear.


"Yes, Keith," Lance sighed and nudged his own hips up against Keith. The pale boy let out a teasing moan before chuckling.

"You're so desperate, Lance," he teased and reached down to rub the bulge. Lance whimpered and kissed Keith's neck.

"I want you…"

"You always want me," Keith replied and pulled away. He crawled out of Lance's lap again and back in to the passenger seat. Lance looked at him as he panted and waited for him to come back. Unfortunately after Keith grabbed his backpack he reached for the handle.

"W-wait, where are you going?" Lance stuttered. Keith smiled at him.

"I'm going home, Lance," he replied innocently.

"W-w-w-wh-what about j-just now w-with the…" he trailed off.

"Stay," he pleaded. Keith shrugged.

"Sorry dude," he replied and opened the car door. Lance watched gawking at Keith as he stepped out of the car and bent down to smile at him again.

"Besides, you didn't think you'd get away with that lame excuse for flirting at lunch today, did you?"

Chapter Text

     Lance was learning that Keith loved to tease him. Not just verbally but physically as well, and the sad part was that Lance was ridiculously susceptible to it. He was thankful Keith kept it to words during school, but whenever they saw each other outside of the classroom Lance was a puddle of pathetic from a mere touch. Keith found it hilarious, and that's probably the reason he does it. Why Keith enjoys torturing Lance was lost to him, so he suffered through time after time speeding home in his car to jerk off in his room. 

     The really pathetic part of all of this was at this point he didn't need pornography anymore. All of his magazines were dusty and untouched under his bed for weeks because he had enough memory of Keith to sustain him. Keith on top of him. Keith touching him. Keith licking his ear and whispering the dirtiest things he could imagine. Keith doing things Lance never would have thought he would do. What really sucked was between Keith's strict mother knowing about their relationship and Lance's oblivious mother plus two younger siblings they really had no time or place to screw around like that. So Lance was stuck jerking it four times a day rather than three, and it was all Keith's fault.

     Keith was sitting next to him acting all innocent like he usually does. He wrote and did his work while Lance glanced at him from time to time. People observing from the outside might think Keith is just a quiet and shy (slighting scary) boy who keeps to himself, but Lance saw him for who he truly was. A devious seductive animal who had no moral compass when it came to blue balls. For once Lance wanted to give Keith a taste of his own medicine, but he knew if he ever did he'd end up giving Keith whatever he wanted. It was because he was weak when it came to sex (Keith actually) and he couldn't just deny it like Keith could. He needed an opportunity. Sometime for them to be alone not in front of Keith's house to do whatever they wanted. But what kind of opportunity would arise?

"Hey Lance," Stacy said. Lance looked away from Keith and then up at the smiling blond girl.

"Oh, hey Stace," he replied.

"Are you coming to the football game tonight?" She asked.

"Uh, the football game?" He questioned. Stacy never asked him about stuff like that.

"Yeah. You could totally bring a friend with you," she prompted and nudged her head in the direction of Keith. The pale boy was oblivious to their conversation as he did his assignment. Oh yeah, Stacy was trying to get Lance to help set her up with Keith. Maybe he could use it to his advantage.

"Hm, I dunno. A lot of my friends are assholes," Lance said louder while pointing his face towards Keith. The dark haired boy merely flipped him off and continued working. Lance rolled his eyes.

"I'll see what I can do, Stace, but yeah I'll go," he told her quieter.

"Thank you," she whispered and then walked off with a grin.

"What was that about?" Keith asked when Stacy was out of earshot.

"Ugh. Stacy wants me to set you up with her," he replied. Keith chuckled a little.

"Poor Stacy," he hummed.

"She was talking about a football game and I told her I would try," he said.

"You tried really hard," Keith responded.

"Are you sure you don't wanna go to the football game? I'm positive it's gonna be ~lots of fun~," Lance sang.

"Just like Chad's party was tons of fun?"

"Well that was Chad's party, so you're gonna have to blame him. But for this football game we'll be unsupervised for a good hour or so," Lance told him scooting a little closer. Keith shook his head.


"It would be easy to sneak off and do other things while our parents think we're being responsible and watching a football game," he said quieter. Keith's pencil stilled and he paused to process what Lance had told him. Navy eyes met blue.

"What other things did you have in mind?" He asked. Lance smiled and then glanced over at their two other table mates. They were working as well, but he still didn't wanna risk it.

"I'll pick you up at eight," he replied. Keith blushed a little when he realized that Lance had reeled him in. He hated it when he did that, but at the same time he loved it.

"Fine. I'll tell my mom."



"Sorry Stacy. He wasn't interested in going," Lance said as he slotted a couple dollar bills in to the vending machine.

"Are you kidding me? Why not?" She asked.

"I told you not to waste your time. He's just not into you, or football," he replied. He punched out his soda and Keith's snack on the number pad and waited for the machine to cough it out.

"Apparently he's into you," she grumbled bitterly. Lance dropped his soda when he pulled it out.

"Jesus Christ, we are not dating. Why does everyone think we are?" He growled and picked up his drink again.

"Well you haven't had a girlfriend in a while, Lance. Maybe because you've been too busy enjoying your boyfriend," she accused. Lance sighed and stood up with his soda and Keith's snack.

"Listen Stacy. If your jealous of me because everyone thinks I'm dating Keith then your delusional. We're friends. How would you like it if people started saying you were dating Tracy? Or Jessica even?"

"At least I would have the balls to admit it if it happened," she sassed. Lance rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, Stacy. You don't deserve him anyways," he muttered and walked away.

"How would you know who does and doesn't deserve him?" She challenged catching up to him.

"Because Keith and I are good friends. He's a very particular person, and not just anyone can be his girlfriend. It's gotta be someone he can trust and there's a lot of untrustworthy people in this school," he explained.

"Are you saying I can't be trusted?"


"You know what? Maybe you're the jealous one, Lance," she said. Lance sighed and stopped to face her.

"Why would I be the jealous one?" He asked for her amusement.

"Because of all these girls showing interest in him. Must be annoying to see every girl and their mother go after him. Even Courtney tried to suck his dick, remember?"

"I don't care, Stacy," he replied.

"Okay. Then what about Brandon? He saw you and Keith kissing in your car in the damn parking lot," she brought up. Lance tried his best not to blush and shook his head rolling his eyes.

"As if anyone can trust Brandon. This is exactly why you don't deserve Keith. You spill anything to get a reaction out of someone," he said. Stacy glared at him and crossed her arms.

"Fine then. Who does deserve him? You?" She questioned. Lance shook his head and slowly stepped away from her.

"I don't deserve him at all," he mumbled before turning around and leaving her in the middle of the cafeteria.



     Keith barely got his parents to say yes. His father was the hardest to convince, but eventually Sarah persuaded him. He then called Lance to tell him his parents said yes and ended up having an hour long conversation with him until it was dinner time.
It was probably the longest dinner in Keith's life. Although it wasn't just the dinner but the whole hour and a half he had until eight o'clock that was long. An hour suddenly felt like an eternity and Keith wasn't the best at waiting. He finished his dinner first and cleaned his plate. Then he cleaned his mother and father's plate and even dried them and put them away. He checked the clock and cursed at the half hour he had left.

     As much as he hated football, Keith was absolutely excited for the "other things" Lance said they could do. Of course his new dirty mind went to sex first, but after that he realized they could hold hands again or hug or cuddle or literally anything they wanted to. He didn't even care if they went to the game. He was too ecstatic to finally have some alone time with Lance again.

     When the doorbell finally rang Keith was the first to the door. He waited before opening it, telling himself to calm down, and then smiled at Lance's face when he finally did. Lance smiled back, and Keith loved the way his blue eyes twinkled from his porch light.

"Hi," Keith said dumbly.

"Hey," he replied.

"Lance! Oh, don't you look handsome tonight," Sarah greeted with a smile of her own. Lance blushed as he looked down at his baseball tee and nice jeans. Was it obvious he put a little more effort then day old jeans and a teeshirt?

"Thanks, Mrs. Kogane," he nodded. Keith was busy pulling on the jacket he was still yet to give back to Lance as Sarah basically interrogated him.

"So are you boys just going to the game, or is there something else happening tonight?" She asked.

"Uh…I didn't think you'd be okay with-"

"A date?" She interrupted. Keith fell over as he stumbled putting on his boot.

"Holy…what the heck, mom?" He growled and continued to tug it on from he floor. She giggled and then laughed at Lance's red face.

"You boys don't really think I'm that stupid, do you?"

"I was hoping a little," Keith mumbled.

"Of course I'm okay with it. As long as you two are responsible, and remember above the waist," she reminded Lance giving him a pointed look. He nodded vigorously. "But other than that. Have fun. Catch a movie afterwards, or even get milkshakes together. Burgerville has the most classic chocolate milkshakes you can find," she suggested.

"Okay, that sounds fun, mom," Keith said as he stood up and walked out the door.

"We'll be back…midnight?" Lance stammered.

"Are you asking or telling?" Sarah questioned.

"I guess telling."

"Then I'll see you two at midnight."



     After that awkward moment with Keith's mother they quickly escaped to Lance's car. Keith's excitement was a little too obvious, but luckily Lance found it adorable and didn't say anything about it. Instead he only smiled at the grin on Keith's face and the sparkles in his eyes when he looked over at him. Once they were in the car Lance turned the key and turned up the heater. It was ridiculously cold outside and he could see Keith shiver even with his jacket on.

"So how long are we gonna be at the game?" Keith asked. Lance chuckled.

"Oh please. We're not even going to the game," he replied and put the car in to gear.

"What? Then where are we going?" He questioned with wide eyes.

"Well, your mom did have some good ideas. I think there's a drive in movie theater nearby if I remember correctly."

"Oh…so is this a date?" Keith inquired quietly. The smile on Lance's face widened, but he kept his eyes on the road.

"I think it's safe to say this is a date," he murmured.

     Keith blushed deeply and bit his lip. They sat in silence for a little while as Lance drove. It felt nice just to enjoy each other's company without talking or other people around. Keith would've tried to hold Lance's hand, but it was constantly on the stick. So he decided to strike up a conversation instead. They chatted as they usually did and ended up having a rather playful argument about who would have a better final score in Haggar's class. Once they got to the drive in, bought their tickets, and settled in to their spots their conversations moved on.

"So if Stacy was the one who originally wanted me to go to the game, what did you tell her?" Keith asked. Lance sighed.

"God I hate her," he groaned. Keith giggled, and it cheered Lance up a little.

"I thought she was the hottest girl in school," Keith teased. Lance laughed lightly and then shook his head.

"She's hot, but she's a real bitch sometimes."

"I take it she didn't like you telling her I wouldn't be at the game."

"She didn't like it at all. In fact I think she's jealous of me," he replied.

"You think?"

"She brought up the rumors and…was just being terrible as usual. It's hilarious she thinks she deserves you," he mumbled and leaned his forearms on the steering wheel. Keith tucked his knees against his chest.

"You think she doesn't deserve me?" He asked softly. Lance gave a burst of bitter laughter and shook his head.

"Not at all. She doesn't know you. Not really. She wouldn't know how to deal with your differences and she definitely wouldn't know how to deal with you being trans," he said.

"Oh…" Keith murmured and looked away.

"Like it's not even something to deal with. It's a part of you. Just like me being not straight. I didn't ask for this. I bet it's the same for you, and Stacy just couldn't understand that. She's just an awful human being with no empathy and no perspective," Lance continued. Keith nodded and glanced at him again.

"I don't know what happened in Michigan, but it must've been bad if you moved because of it. Sometimes I wonder what it was like for you and…and I just get mad," Lance mumbled against his arms.

"Why?" Keith asked.

"Because, whatever horrible things those people did to you, you didn't deserve it."


"You just didn't deserve it. You're so…special and wonderful. I just…I dunno why they can't see that," he said and looked over at Keith. The movie suddenly started and the sound came out from the speakers next to them. Keith flinched at the noise and sighed.

"Lance…honestly, it's pretty weird-"

"Not weird enough to harass you about it. I mean…if we ever went to Michigan and saw those people I'd go nuts."

"We won't, Lance. It's okay," Keith assured him.

"But it's not okay. Keith, you didn't deserve any of that shit. Don't you know that?" Lance asked.

     Keith took a shaky inhale. That question hit him hard. Mostly because he didn't know that. It never even crossed his mind. He was so thoroughly convinced that he did deserve it. That he was a disgrace. That he should've never been born. That he was an abomination and he'd never be accepted by anyone. Tears threatened to spill down his cheeks as he looked Lance in the eyes.

"You didn't deserve it," Lance whispered and turned to face him with his arms off of the wheel. Keith stiffened and leaned back a little. He hesitated and then allowed himself to relax closer to Lance.

"You didn't deserve a second of it, Keith. Can't you see how amazing you are?" He asked. Lance reached out and held Keith's hand. The dark-haired boy shivered and a single drop finally ran down his face. He looked at their fingers intertwine. He shook his head.

"Lance…you're very sweet, but I'm not-"

"Keith, listen to me. I'm telling you. It's killing me that you don't know how fucking fantastic you are," he said. Keith's bottom lip quivered as he exhaled.

"But I'm not, Lance. I'm…disgusting," he whimpered. Lance pressed his forehead against Keith's.

"Listen to me. You are anything but disgusting. Do you understand?" He asked. Keith shook his head.

"Keith, cut it out! Stop being so stubborn and believe me when I say you're not the scum of the earth," he snapped. Keith cupped Lance's face with his free hand.

"Why are you so good to me?"

"Because this is the way you should've always been treated," Lance breathed and then tilted his head closer to kiss him sweetly. Hot tears fell faster down Keith's face as he accepted Lance's kiss. He sighed against those thin lips of his and dove in for another. Lance happily kissed him back and let go of his hand to wipe the tears away with his thumbs. When they broke off Keith rested his head against Lance's shoulder.

"Don't let go of me…ever please," Keith pleaded. Lance wrapped his arms around him.




     Sometime during the movie they ended up snuggling together leaning against the car door. Lance sat back in the drivers seat while Keith managed to find a comfortable place sprawled over both seats and under Lance's arm. He enjoyed just being able to hold Lance and to be held by him. Technically they were in public, but it felt like they were in their own little bubble. Unable to be disturbed by anyone else. It was nice, and Keith loved every second of it.

     Surprisingly they went the entire movie without any making out. They didn't even kiss because they merely enjoyed being able to see a movie together. Lance realized how much he took it for granted in the past when he took girls to the movies. He wouldn't even care about the film and just try and kiss them the whole time. Little did he know back then how much just watching a movie with someone could feel so good. Something about it just made him feel normal again. Like it wasn't weird to his other classmates that he was dating Keith. Like he wasn't constantly denying it to them.

     They both decided it would be better to get their milkshakes from the drive-through. Despite how nice it sounded to get up and stretch their legs. Another thing Lance realized he took for granted. Thankfully Keith had enough of a brain to suggest walking through one of the various parks in the decently sized Oregon town they lived in. The air was so cold and crisp it made their milkshakes taste a little bit warm. They smiled and laughed as their breath created clouds. Lance pointed out how red Keith's nose, cheeks, and fingers were before whispering how beautiful it was. That only made his cheeks bloom redder before he glanced around and risked holding his hand as they walked. Soon enough they found a bench that wasn't completely wet and sat down together.

"I wish I could kiss you right now," Lance murmured as he stared at Keith. He sipped his milkshake to hide how flustered that made him.

"Chocolate gives me bad breath," he said. Lance's eyes were completely stuck on those pink lips as they played with the black straw.

"I really don't give a shit," he replied. Keith set his cup on the bench and scooted a little closer to Lance.

"Y'know…there's no one around," he pointed out.

"I know, but for some reason it feels like I can't," Lance responded and their hands found each other again. It was hard not to when they knew they finally could.

"Says who?" Keith questioned and leaned closer.

"People at school…my dad definitely…" Lance mumbled and looked back to Keith's mouth. 

     It was shaped in to a slight smile before Keith leaned even closer. Their lips brushed against each other, and no matter how many times it happened it filled Lance with butterflies and joy. He let his lips part as Keith touched them again with his and exhaled his ghost-like breath. It was warm and Keith nudged towards the warmth.

"Prove them wrong."

Chapter Text

     It was dark. There wasn't even a streetlight that could illuminate the inside of Lance's car. Instead there was only feeling. Soft sounds that left Keith's lips as he kissed Lance senseless. His soft skin that Lance felt and touched under his shirt just for the sake of touching it. He had enough sense to turn the car on to activate the heater and the dim lights from the dashboard. Other than that the engine wasn't even running as Keith straddled Lance as usual.

     It got to the point where they were clumsily moving to the back seat and laughing at how eager and shaking they were. Lance said it was from the cold, but Keith could tell they were both pretty nervous. Now they were alone. There was no one to tell them no. No one to stop them from kissing and touching and feeling each other.

"I've never seen one before," Keith whispered. His eyes were locked on the bulge between Lance's legs and his hand was reluctantly stationary on his inner thigh. Lance blushed.

"Do you…want to?" He asked. Keith looked up at him bright red. Their eyes had adjusted enough to see each other's features. Plus the glow from the dash and the softly playing radio made Keith look ethereal.

"Can I?" He breathed. Lance blushed deeper and nodded. Keith inched his hand closer up Lance's thigh. "I'm nervous."

"Me too," Lance murmured. 

     Keith bit his lip and undid Lance's jeans. His hand reached in and Lance let out a shaky exhale. The pale boy glanced up at him and they rested their foreheads together. He then continued to feel the mass in Lance's boxers and enjoyed his cursing a little too much. Once he got comfortable with touching it he pulled back the elastic of his boxers and blinked down at it.

     Keith was a firm believer that if he ever saw a dick in real life the only feeling he'd experience was totally jealousy. At that moment he found himself questioning his faith as he experienced pure lust and want with only a tinge of jealously. But that tinge was only natural and was nothing compared to the urge Keith had to just make Lance feel good.

"Whoa…" he sighed. Lance bit his lip anxiously.

"Is this…a-are you…uhm…"

"It's so…interesting," Keith murmured. He relaxed the elastic out of the way and pressed his pointer finger against the head. Lance gasped and held his hand over his mouth.

"There's no one here," Keith reminded him.

"Y-you're here," Lance pointed out. Keith smirked.

"Yeah, and I want to hear you," he whispered and ran his finger down his shaft. Lance pressed his lips in to a thin line as he watched Keith's finger slide against his skin.

"God…I'm so not gonna last long. I can already tell," he said.

"Pff…as if. I have no idea what I'm doing," Keith told him. Lance shook his head.

"Whatever, that doesn't matter. Just because it's you I doubt I'll last a minute," Lance joked with a smile. Keith laughed and Lance laughed with him.

"Just because it's me?" He hummed and tilted his head slightly. Lance closed his eyes at the feeling of Keith's lips again.

"Yeah…you tease me so much I'm surprised we've even made it this far," he whispered. Keith kissed him lightly.

"Yeah?" He murmured and ran his finger back up. Lance shivered.

"D-don't tease me again…please," his voice trembled. Keith lightly dragged Lance's lower lip between his teeth and ran two knuckles against Lance's length. He moaned quietly and shyly as he nudged his hips a little closer.

"I'm touching you, aren't I?" Keith said and brushed his fingers down the front of his cock. Lance squirmed a little and grunted.

"You're being an ass," he responded. Keith chuckled.

"But does it feel good?" He asked more seriously. Lance nodded and guided Keith's hand to wrap around him. He made a slight sound at the initial pressure of Keith's hand, and let out a deep breath.

"Just…just a-a little more," Lance told him as he stared at those pale fingers.

"Like this?" Keith spoke as he slowly started to run his hand up and down. Lance nodded.

"Yeah…" he breathed.

     It was slow, but Lance was okay with that. Keith needed slow, and he kinda needed it too. He was used to moving so fast that being able to take the time they needed to try and relax felt like a luxury. It was nice not worrying about the time or trying to cum as fast as possible. He felt comfortable with Keith despite his nerves because he knew Keith wasn't like anyone else he's been with. Keith was more. He was special. He was good, and his thumb felt amazing rubbing against his head like that.

     His breathing picked up as Keith continued to touch him. Those beautiful pale fingers sped up a little and pumped his length. He actually paid attention to what made Lance moan and did it again just to make sure it was right and it always was. Because everything he did was right. Everything he did was good, so good that he couldn't stand it. He was leaking precum everywhere to the point where Keith paused because he thought Lance came already. Lance desperately shook his head and urged him to continue.

"Fuck…Keith," he panted against Keith's lips.

"You're really hard…and slippery," Keith said staring at Lance's lap.

"Do…do that thing…with your thumb again," Lance pleaded. Keith did so, taking the time to slowly run circles around the slit on Lance's head before milking it between his fingers.

"F-fuck, Keith," he groaned. Keith whimpered at the sound of Lance saying his name like that and latched on to Lance's lips.

"Mm…so good…Keith…" Lance muttered mindlessly between kisses.

"Lance," Keith sighed and pumped him again.

"Keith…fuck…K-Keith!" He cried as he came. It got on the front of Keith's shirt and all over Lance's boxers. He was breathing heavy as he slumped against the car door and rested his head on the cold window.

"Am I supposed to eat this?" Keith asked inspecting the goo on his hands. Lance shook his head and grabbed the box of tissues he kept between the seats. "Thanks."

     Lance watched as Keith cleaned off his fingers and the front of Lance's pants. He then wiped off his dark shirt and tossed the tissues to the side. After they were clean he neatly tucked Lance back in his pants and zipped him up. With his post-orgasm haze he couldn't control the sudden surge of lust that came over him again when he saw Keith smiled at him and touched his chest.

     Before Keith could ask how it was Lance had him pinned against the seats. He gasped when he felt leather seats under his back and heated lips against his neck. While Keith was careful and cautious Lance was hasty and needy. His fingers instantly dove between Keith's legs where he was settled and pressed. Keith moaned at the contact and dug his fingers through Lance's hair.

"I want you," Lance murmured. He undid Keith's jeans and tugged them down a little. "I want all of you."

"Fuck," Keith cursed and gasped again when his jeans were tugged down further.

"Can I have you? Please. Please, Keith. I wanna make you feel so good, baby," Lance begged against his clavicle.

"Jesus Christ," Keith sighed as Lance moved his tight jeans further down his hips.

"Please," he pleaded and pulled back to look at Keith.

     The pale boy nodded and pulled down his pants down himself. Lance sat back and helped him. Keith was shaking as he stripped his lower half, keeping his boxers on while his pants gathered around his ankles. Then the tan boy made himself comfortable between Keith's legs and pressed kisses to his knees and all down his thighs. Keith's breathing got even heavier with anxiety as Lance got closer and closer to his boxers. Tan fingers played with the hem and Keith braced himself. This was the moment he had always been dreading.

"Relax, Keith," Lance said. Keith's head stopped all of its thinking as he made eye contact with Lance.

"It's hard," he murmured.

"I know. Trust me please," Lance whispered and started to pull at the elastic. Keith held his breath and watched as Lance pulled the fabric back. He lifted his butt a little to let the fabric pass and watched Lance's face as he looked between Keith's legs.

"Whoa," Lance said. His eyes were filled with desire and awe.

"W-what?" Keith stuttered.

"You are so wet," he sighed with lust.

"T-there's some hair," Keith muttered shyly.

"I don't care," Lance breathed and ducked down between pale legs. Keith was about to speak again, but lost his words when he felt wet heat against him. It felt like Lance had even been drooling before he delved his tongue in to Keith, and the extra drip of saliva down between his folds made Keith shiver and moan.

"Lance," he gasped.

     The tan boy gripped his naked hips and groaned at the satisfaction of uninterrupted skin. He teased his tongue around the clit, lightly touching it and occasionally running over it. Keith moaned in response and whimpered as Lance continued that technique. He rubbed his thumbs against Keith's hip bones and he let out a strangled moan.

"N-not…fair," he managed.

     Lance ignored his slight protest and moved his hand. He used his pointed finger to tease around Keith's entrance as he licked a little longer, a little harder. Keith let out a long whine that was interrupted by a moan. So this was what it was like to be teased.

"Lance…please…please," he gasped and gently pushed his hips against Lance's face. He groaned in response and fully circled his tongue around the clit. His middle finger ventured in a little bit, but it felt like nothing and made Keith grit his teeth with impatience.

"Lance," he whined. Lance knew he couldn't keep this up for long. Each time Keith begged for him it was harder to say no. So he pushed in his middle finger and sucked on his clit.

"Fuck fuck fuck, Lance!" He cried and ran his fingers through short brown hair.

     Lance instantly noticed how loose Keith was again and pushed in his pointer finger as well. Keith barely made a sound, but It was enough for Lance. He licked and sucked and laved at Keith's clit and his folds to the point where Keith was whimpering blubbering pleas for release. If Lance hadn't just came a few minutes ago he was sure he'd be hard as a rock just hearing this let alone feeling it.

     Then he curled his fingers. Lance had to mentally prepare himself for the ridiculously gratifying sounds Keith would make, but no mental prep would save him from Keith rocking his hips so hard. A loud moan left Keith as expected, but he was practically fucking Lance's face in the process. That was hotter than any sound he could possibly make, and so Lance didn't hesitated to focus his movements on that singular spot he found before.

"Lance! J-Jesus Christ!" Keith gasped and cried. Lance sucked harder. Keith's clit was long enough for Lance to touch with the tip of his tongue while he sucked. It made Keith's grip tighten in his hair and push his head down further into his flesh.

"Mmm…t-that feels so good…fuck, Lance," he murmured and pressed his head back against the seats. His back arched, and Lance ventured his free hand under his lower back to feel his body. He would've said something to tease him, but he was indulging too much in the sound of Keith's ragged breath.

"Lance…Lance…mm…fuck," he panted. Lance moaned himself from how dirty yet sweet his name sounded coming from Keith's lips like that. In return Keith gasped at the faint vibrations.

"J-just…just a little…a little more. Please, Lance," he pleaded and more languidly rolled his hips.

     Lance couldn't say no, literally and metaphorically, so he rubbed his fingers faster and licked the clit again before sucking once more. Keith's breathing got more rough and ragged as the pressure built and built upon itself. Soon it was bursting and exploding and Keith's breath hitched before he let out a sigh of relief. He grabbed at the leather seats instead of Lance's hair and knit his brows as his head slowly tilted back more and more with each burst of continued pleasure.

     Lance continued to stimulate him until Keith was completely still and lightly tugging up on his hair. He pulled back with a grin as he wiped his mouth with his wrist, and then wiped his wrist on his jeans. Keith was still gasping for breath while Lance pulled up his boxers and crawled closer to him.

"You okay? You sound like you're dying," Lance noticed. Keith nodded.

"My binder…it just…takes a while," he wheezed.

"Your binder?" He questioned.

"It's a…chest binder…keeps my chest…flat," Keith managed between breaths.

"Oh…do you need to take it off?" He asked with concern. Keith shook his head.

"I took it off when I came home so I could wear it tonight," he rasped.

"Okay. Do you wear it all the time?"

"No…I can only wear it eight hours at a time, so I usually take it off when I get home. I don't put it back on until morning," he replied.

"So you only wear it around people?"

"Uh…not always. I wear it on weekends too just because it makes me feel better mentally," Keith said and blinked up at Lance.

"Does it hurt?"



"Lance, as enjoyable as this conversation is I'd really like to pull up my pants," Keith interrupted.


     Lance removed himself from between Keith's legs and crawled back in to the drivers seat. He waited for Keith to join him and smiled when he saw him crawl in to the passenger seat. Keith took a couple deep breaths to get his lungs back to normal and smiled back.

"How do you feel now?" Lance asked.

"Amazing," Keith replied and leaned over to kiss him sweetly on the mouth.

"Yeah?" Lance grinned and then kissed him again.

"Yeah," Keith breathed and wrapped his arms around Lance's neck. Lance chuckled and continued to kiss Keith. The pale boy then pulled back reluctantly and giggled a little.

"We should stop now," he whispered against Lance's lips.

"Why?" He muttered and kissed Keith again.

"Mm…because I'm getting turned on again," he hummed.

"Already?" Lance asked pulling back. Keith blushed.

"I wasn't lying when I said five times a night," Keith reminded him. Lance laughed.

"Damn, I wish I could keep up," he said and kissed the corner of Keith's mouth.

"T-too bad," he stuttered as Lance kissed down his neck.

"What time is it?" Lance asked. Keith glanced at the clock.

"Eleven thirty," he answered.

"We still have a half an hour, y'know," he murmured and reached out to touch his thigh. Keith shivered and bit his lip.

"I-I don't normally do stuff like this with my binder on," he told Lance.

"Are you comfortable taking it off?" Lance asked.

"It's less about comfortability and more…it's hard to take off." Lance pulled back and laughed. Keith blushed.


"Yeah…" kinda.

"Well if that's out of the question, what do you propose we do instead for the next half an hour?" Lance asked. Keith pursed his lips in thought.

"I dunno. I've never been on a date before," he replied. Lance chuckled.

"How's your first one so far?"

"So far…" Keith trailed off and smiled. He crawled over in to the drivers seat and chastely sat in Lance's lap again. He softly kissed Lance as he wrapped his arms around him, and pulled back with a ridiculously happy grin. "…it's amazing."


     It was raining again. Keith smiled as he watched the pitter patter against the window and snuggled closer in to the blue hoodie he snatched from Lance last week. It was filled with his scent and once again Keith was lost sniffing at the lapels. Which he did right in front of Lance with no apparent shame. That or no apparent consciousness. The other boy could only stare and blush as Keith practically inhaled his hoodie. The dopey smile on his face was adorable and the way he closed his eyes in bliss made Lance want to smack him for being so goddamn tempting. Although he did notice the jacket Keith finally did return smelled suspiciously like Keith himself. But Lance didn't sniff the lapels. At least not when Keith was around. Or in the middle of class like an idiot.

     In the end Lance left Keith alone to his sniffing. He might've been feeling extra merciful, or maybe the rain held him back with its cathartic influence on Lance. Perhaps he just wanted to tease him about it later when they were alone, so he let him do it for as long as he wanted.

     Keith on the other hand was lost in dreamland. The one thing his date with Lance confirmed was that he was absolutely done for. He was beyond falling and was burying in to the ground to dig deeper at this point. His head was filled with the memories of that night and the long phone calls that weekend. In his mind he was back in Lance's arms with the radio softly playing in the background and the car heater keeping them warm. He so desperately wanted to be that relaxed and that at ease again. He wanted Lance again.

     By the time the school day ended Keith was happily sitting on the end of Lance's car again. Despite the annoying rain, his mood was light as ever. He was eager to see him again and had to resist the urge to kiss him immediately on sight. The tan boy flashed him a wide grin in response and pulled out his keys.

"Get off my car. Is there a way you could look less like you have a pathetic crush on me?" He teased and walked to the drivers side. Keith rolled his eyes and hopped off to the passengers side.

"Like you're one to talk. How many times did I catch you staring at me in English class this week alone?" Keith responded as he entered the car.

"Oh-ho-ho, you have no right to dig up dirt on me when you spent all class smelling my hoodie," Lance replied. Keith blushed.

"Okay that's not fair. It smells really good," Keith defended.

"Why? Because it smells like me?" Lance asked leaning closer with a smug grin. Keith rolled his eyes. "What do I smell like anyways? Probably sweat." Keith shook his head.

"No…you smell surprisingly clean and…like sugar and spice, but also rain. The rain here smells good," Keith described. Lance blushed a little and took his usual way out of the parking lot.

"Oh…okay then," he said quietly. Keith glanced over at him.

"But yeah, it also smells like sweat."

"I fucking knew it," Lance sighed.

Chapter Text

"Come here, mijo," Ana prompted from the kitchen. Lance got up from the couch and leaned over the counter.

"What's up, ma?" He asked.

"I have to take Tina and Charlie to your Aunt's house this weekend to stay the night, and you know Charlie. If I'm not there he's going to wet the bed, so you're going to be home alone for a while," she told him.

"Home alone? Isn't dad gonna be home?" Lance questioned. Ana looked over her son's shoulder to her husband typing away at the computer sat at the desk.

"Is he ever home really?" She muttered. Lance glanced at his father typing away and frowned.

"Good point," he nodded.

"Anyways. I don't want you to get lonely, so if you want to have a friend over that's fine. Your father is technically here so if anything goes wrong you'll at least have someone to ask for help," she said. Lance blinked.

"Really?" He smiled. She nodded.

"Yes. I've heard you talking on the phone with that one friend of yours. What was his name? You had him over for dinner once…Keith?" Lance blushed and laughed nervously.

"Oh, him? Pffff! We can barely stand each other. I just talk to him to get answers off the homework," he lied.

"Don't lie to me, mijo. I know what's going on," she said. Lance went pale.

"Y-you do?" He stuttered quietly.

"Of course! You and Keith are best friends, and you're worried that you're replacing Hunk with some skinny Asian boy. It's okay," she replied. Lance let out a sigh of relief and smiled.

"You got me, ma. I was totally thinking that," he nodded. She smiled and patted his shoulder.

"It's hard, Lance. Friendship is a fragile thing and it's so difficult too. I'm sure Hunk understands," she assured him.

"Hunk definitely understands," Lance muttered.


"Nothing! I said I'll call Keith now," Lance grinned and darted to the phone.

     Ana smiled and shook her head before returning to cooking dinner. The tan boy excitedly dialed the number he had memorized months ago and waited impatiently as it rang. Finally there was the click that signaled someone picked up and the sound of Keith's voice.

"What are you doing this weekend?"



     There was that anxiety again. Keith had never spent the night at a friend's house, and he's definitely never spent the night at a "friend's" house. Even at Hunk's horror movie slumber party he left early so he wouldn't have to sleep in his binder. He was honestly flabbergasted at Lance's proposal, but even more so when his mother said he could go. She said it was okay with it since Lance's father was there, but what Keith didn't tell her was that Lance said he would pay virtually no attention to them. That's kinda what Keith was anxious about.

"Honey, you'll be fine. It'll be a good experience. As long as Lance remembers what I said about hands above the waist it's fine," Sarah assured him. Welp.

"B-but I've never spent the night before. What if something bad happens?" Keith persisted. His mother sighed as she prepared his toothbrush.

"Keith, you'll be fine. You're socializing! Isn't that exciting," she grinned and handed him the baggy she put his tooth supplies in. He took the bag and frowned.

"Mom, I just…I-I'm scared," he confessed. Sarah gave him a sympathetic smile and squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.

"Hey, it's okay to be afraid. This is something totally new with someone who is really special to you-"

"M-mom!" Keith stuttered with bright red cheeks.

"Anyways…it's natural to be a little scared before your first time spending the night. I know I was scared. I almost wet the bed," she told him.

"You did not."

"You're right. I didn't, but what I'm getting at is its okay, Keith. You can do this though," she said. He bit his lip and furrowed his brows. "Are you worried about binding?" She asked.

     Despite what he told Lance, Keith was actually pretty uncomfortable with the idea of being unbound around him. Not just him. Around anyone really, but especially around Lance. He had this irrational fear that it would be the last straw and Lance would finally understand how gross he was. Even though it was inevitable, he wanted to postpone it for as long as possible.

"Yes," he answered.

"Lance is a wonderful boy. I'm sure he'll be respectful and courteous to your situation. He has been so far, and I doubt he would change that now," she assured him. Keith sighed and nodded.


"Okay. Now let's get the rest of your toiletries packed up before I drive you over there."



     Keith clutched his overnight bag and sleeping bag with red cheeks as Lance was stifling giggles. It appeared that boys didn't prepare this much for a sleepover and Lance was making that exceptionally clear. The pale boy glanced over his shoulder to see his mother wave and smile at him from the car. He then sighed and looked back to Lance.

"This is my mom's fault," he grumbled.

"Dude, you look like you're ready to go camping. I'd say you packed everything expect for the kitchen sink, but I'm worried you might've packed that too," he teased and moved out of the way. Keith rolled his eyes and stepped inside.

"Shut up," he said and shoved his bag against Lance's chest.

"Hey hey hey, don't take it so seriously," Lance chuckled and closed the door behind him. Keith pulled off his converse and then looked at Lance.

"I've never spent the night before, so my mom prepared a little too much. Is that a crime?" He asked. Lance grinned and shook his head.

"Not at all," he whispered and leaned over. Keith's eyes widened and he held a hand over his mouth.

"What do you think you're doing? Where's your dad?" He hissed. Lance rolled his eyes and pulled Keith's hand from his mouth.

"He works, he eats, and then he sleeps and he barely acknowledges my existence. Don't worry," Lance assured him.

"Yeah, but where is he?"

"He's at the computer," Lance answered pointing over his shoulder. Keith looked over to see an middle aged man hunched over a computer.

"He's like fifteen feet away!" Keith whisper-yelled.

"Yeah, and he's really slow," Lance replied at a normal volume.

"Who was at the door, Lance?" His father, John, asked.

"It's Keith. You were in the office the last time he was here," Lance said a little louder.

     The man turned over his chair and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He had a silvery scruff and sparse eyebrows. His body was lankier and slimmer than Lance, but Keith could tell this is where the tan boy had received his height.

"C'mere," John urged waving Keith forward.

     Keith obliged to the man's request and hurried over to the desk. Lance was behind him as his father looked Keith up and down. His pale blue eyes narrowed on Keith's face and he blushed under the older man's gaze.

"What happened to Hunk? I thought he was your go to friend," he mumbled.

"Uh, Hunk was busy," Lance lied. In reality he didn't even ask Hunk. John nodded and hummed.

"Does your mother make any traditional Chinese food?" John asked. Keith blinked.

"Uh…I'm adopted," Keith replied.

"Wait, you are?" Lance asked. Keith nodded.

"I thought you knew that."


"I mean my mom is white and I look nothing like my dad," Keith pointed out.

"So she doesn't cook traditional Chinese food?" John questioned. Keith blinked at him.

"No…I'm Korean," he said.

"Ah. That's a shame. Well, it was nice meeting you, Kevin," John replied and turned back to his computer.

"It's not-"

"Okay, dad. We'll be in my room so don't worry about us," Lance interrupted quickly and tugged Keith away. Keith protested, but Lance shushed him until they were in the safety of Lance's room.

"I'm super sorry about that. My dad is kinda racist, but like only when you first get to know him," Lance apologized. Keith didn't pay his apology any mind and instead looked around his room.

     It wasn't a messy as Keith imagined. His bed had a thick, dark blue comforter, and his walls had a few posters here and there. Little action figures were on his dresser and his bookcase that consisted of mostly sci-fi and superhero comics. It was the epitome of a twelve year-olds bedroom. The only things that were missing were glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and Toy Story Buzz Lightyear sheets. That and maybe some dirty clothes sprawled out across the floor. It was incredibly endearing.

"Oh uh…it's a little different from your Van Halen and Pearl Jam posters, but yeah…" Lance said awkwardly when he noticed Keith looking around.

"It's cute," Keith replied and smiled at him. Lance blushed.

"C-cute?" He stuttered. Keith chuckled and wandered over to his bookshelf. He picked up one of the action figures and inspected it further. "Um y-you don't need to look at those old things they're just from when I was a kid."

"I didn't know you were in to sci-fi," Keith murmured and looked down at the many titles lined nicely in the bookshelf.

"I-it was just a phase I had when I was a kid. I just never got rid of it is all y'know," Lance spoke nervously. His voice cracked and he rubbed the back of his neck.

"That's a shame. I get ridiculously turned on by space nerds," Keith hummed and set down the action figure. He walked from the bookcase to Lance's bed and innocently sat on the edge.

"Space nerds?" Lance questioned. His eyes wide at the sight of Keith on his bed.

"Oh yeah. I love big sci-fi nerds," Keith nodded and unzipped the hoodie he was wearing. Lance watched as he shed off the blue fabric and swallowed hard. He fidgeted a little bit before clearing his throat.

"I-I mean I still know all that stuff and…stuff. I would still consider myself a bit of a sci-fi nerd," he said as he went over to sit next to Keith. The pale boy giggled and inched a little closer.

"Really?" He questioned in a low voice. Lance nodded.

"Oh yeah. I have every issue of like every comic ever. Marvel, DC, and like a bunch of smaller comic companies and stuff," Lance said as he looked through his collection across the room.

"Is that so?" Keith murmured and ran his fingers over Lance's thigh.

"Yeah, I really liked the power rangers and…Buzz Lightyear…Star Trek, Star Wars…all the stars," Lance's voice trembled a little. He eyed Keith's hand and wetted his lips.

"Wow. That's very interesting," Keith said with a grin. Lance coughed.

"Thank you," he nodded.

"You've captured my attention with your nerdiness," Keith continued and moved his hand from Lance's leg to the collar of his shirt. Lance smirked a little and shrugged.

"Well, I was only the biggest nerd in elementary school," he said matter-of-factly.

"I never would've guessed. You're so cool now," Keith replied humoring him. Lance chuckled and crossed his arms.

"I know it's hard to believe that an ultimate stud like me was once a alien obsessed nerd, but it's true," Lance spoke with a sly smirk. Keith rolled his eyes and laughed.

"Oh my god, Lance. You're still the biggest nerd you're just less obsessed with aliens now," Keith snickered.

"Pfff! As if. I'm not a nerd, okay? For the record I, Lance McClain, lost my virginity to the most popular girl in junior high," he bragged as leaned back on his elbows. Keith lifted a brow.

"Are you sure you wanna brag about that to me?" He questioned. Lance furrowed his brows but then blushed when he realized his mistake.

"I mean…" he coughed. "Junior high was craaaaazyyyyy," he spoke in a strained voice as he sunk lower on the bed. Keith shook his head and laid next to Lance on his stomach.

"So who was the most popular girl in junior high?" He asked.

"Uh…did I say most popular? I meant…the ugliest. I mean she was gross. Nothing compared to you. Like ugh. Boobs? Disgustingly huge…wait, you don't have big boobs right?" Keith laughed.

"I've shrunk down to A cups," he answered. Lance nodded.

"Okay…wait, shrunk?"

"I used to be a small B cup before I took the blockers, so it kinda just stopped there. The testosterone made me shrink."

"Oh. That's…"


"I was gonna say interesting."

"Mm-hm. Sure, Lance."

"Keith-" Lance stopped talking when he heard a knock on his door and saw his dad peaking in.

"Your mother called to remind you to eat dinner. She has something prepared for you to warm up in the fridge. I can't pronounce it," John told them.

"Oh right. I totally forgot about that," Lance mused as he sat up.

"C'mon, let's eat."



     Navy eyes stared back in the mirror. Water was still dripping from pitch black hair as Keith looked at his reflection in Lance's bathroom mirror. He had to stop himself from hyperventilating from merely stripping inside someone else's house. His towel was clutched to his chest as he forced himself to take deep breaths. It was easier now that his ribs were freed from the tight strangle of his binder, but the weight of his small breasts still got to him.

"I'll be fine…It's okay…it'll all be okay," Keith muttered between deep breaths.

     He dried his hair with his towel once more and then focused on getting dressed. Once he had slipped in to his boxers and teeshirt he definitely felt a lot better. That with his pajama bottoms helped him calm down as he liked what he saw in the mirror a lot better. A couple more deep breaths and he gathered his clothes he changed out of and hid his binder in the towel his mother packed for him. The bathroom was literally across the hall from his room, but he didn't want to risk John seeing his undergarment and chest. Thankfully John was still typing away at his computer as Keith darted across the hall. He closed Lance's door behind him and sighed with relief.

"How was your shower?" Lance murmured from his bed as he flipped through one of his old comics.

"Uh…it was nice. Your water pressure is a little different from mine, but it was fine," Keith answered and set his dirty clothes next to his overnight bag. 

     Lance chuckled and glanced up at him once before doing a double take. The pale boy towel dried his hair once more and tussled it once he escaped the white fluffy canopy. He hummed and used the fabric to wipe off the after shower sweat he usual got on his face. His chest was almost completely flat under his baggy teeshirt. Almost. 

"No way, you're actually reading one of those?" Keith asked once he eyed the comic. Lance blushed and shrugged before turning the page even though he didn't read it.

"I remembered how much I liked them and decided to indulge in my nostalgia," Lance said. Keith chuckled, and Lance watched how the after shower glow made Keith positively sparkle.

"Well, the shower is open if you want," Keith told him and plopped the towel with his clothes.

"I shower in the mornings," Lance mumbled as he watched Keith sit on the end of his bed. 

"Oh right. I remember you mentioned that once." Lance mindlessly flipped the page again without looking and instead kept his eyes on Keith. "I believe you were talking about masturbation," Keith said with a teasing smile.

"You're so hot right now," Lance breathed. Keith blinked and then blushed…which told Lance that he accidentally said that out loud. He turned beat red and sat up. "I-I mean you look hot. Like hot and sweaty from the shower. M-maybe you should cool off or something I dunno," Lance stammered. 

     Keith was silent for a moment before standing up from the bed. The taller boy was about to apologize and beg for him to stay when Keith suddenly pulled down his pajama pants. Wide blue eyes feasted on long white legs as Keith stepped out of the red flannel and then crawled back on to the bed. He looked around coyly and then made eye contact with Lance.

"You were right. I feel cooled off now," he said. Lance felt absolutely pathetic in that moment because just the sight of Keith's naked legs was making him hard. Surely it was obvious in his jeans he still hadn't changed out of.

"Uh…h-hopefully you don't get too cold," he muttered and stared at the creamy flesh in front of him. Keith smiled a little and bit his lip before crawling closer.

"Well, hopefully you'd be willing to keep me warm," he whispered seductively as he moved closer to Lance.

"D-does that mean making out?" Lance stuttered. He held his hands back, but he desperately wanted to reach out and touch everything. Keith laughed.

"I was hoping a little more," he hummed and tilted his head to the side.

     Lance fitted his lips with Keith's and slid his eyes shut at the warmth of his mouth. He smelled like fresh shampoo and running water. It was the most heavenly thing Lance had ever inhaled and he decided he liked Keith the best right after a shower. Their lips worked together, and Lance didn't even realize he was heavily groping Keith's thighs. He could feel the muscle strain and flex under soft skin as they kept him up on his knees. He exhaled against Keith's lips and then jerked his hands away when he finally noticed it.

"Shit s-sorry I didn't ask-"

"Lance," he interrupted with a sigh before guiding tan fingers back to his thighs. "Keep going," he murmured.

     Lance didn't need to be told twice. He captured Keith's mouth again as he ran his hands down his milky limbs. Goosebumps erected under Lance's fingers and that made him grin against the kiss as he deepened it. Keith eventually found his way in to Lance's lap again and gripped his broad shoulders. Their groins met and they moaned in to each other's mouths. Keith fully wrapped his arms around Lance's neck as those strong hands continued to feel up his legs and even his ass.

     Then it got interesting. Lance trailed down to Keith's clavicle. His tongue pressed against his skin and drew out a moan. It was hot and wet and he had somehow grown to love how messy Lance could get. He loved the feeling of his hot breath between swipes of his tongue and how cool his skin felt after it was coated with Lance's spit. His hips teasingly pushed against Lance and he bit his lip when the tan boy growled under his collar bone. Then his hands ventured under his shirt and blue eyes connected with his.

"Can I…I wanna see," he murmured tugging on Keith's shirt.

     Keith's breath shivered and he swallowed hard. There was no more postponing. He wanted to move on, but he knew this was on obstacle that needed to be demolished. He hesitated and then nodded.

"Yeah," he breathed.

"Are you sure?" Lance asked. Keith nodded.

"I'm sure," he confirmed.

"Because if you don't feel comfortable yet I can wait, it's not that big of a deal," Lance assured him. Keith sighed and nodded.

"It's okay. It's inevitable sooner or later, and I'll just get more nervous about it if I wait for later," Keith replied.

"Are you absolutely certain?" Lance asked softly.

     Those blue eyes looked up at Keith was such concern it made his heart swell. He bit his lip as he looked back and cupped Lance's face sweetly. The impending and promising friction put pressure against Keith's groin and it reminded him of Lance's hungry gaze earlier. It reminded him just how much they wanted each other. How much he wanted Lance.

"Yes," Keith sighed and kissed Lance again. The tan boy accepted his kiss and pulled back to get a better grip on Keith's teeshirt.

"Okay…ready?" His voice barely above a whisper. Keith nodded and then smiled.

"I'm ready."

Chapter Text

     Lance stared at the wide expansion of pure skin. Uninterrupted creamy sugary pale skin with pinkish purple nipples and a slight swell of flesh. It was the most beautiful and heavenly thing Lance had ever laid his eyes on, and he was well aware that he was gawking. Then the white was tinted with red and he could clearly see that Keith was blushing down to his ribs. Ribs that popped out only slightly and lead to a tiny thin waist. The highlight of if all was the cute little belly button peaking out from Keith's boxers. Lance almost fawned at the sight, but instead restrained himself to look up at Keith's face.

"I-It's…there's still a little bit…with the hips and my ch-chest…um…" he stuttered nervously and started to breath heavily. Lance snapped out of his daze when he realized Keith's chest was heaving as he was on the verge of a break down.

"Hey hey, it's okay. Don't worry," Lance assured him in hushed words.

"I-I'm sorry-" Keith laughed nervously. "-I'm a b-bit of a mess when it comes t-to this-"

"Hey, take deep breaths, okay? Take them with me. In…" Lance breathed in and Keith followed. "…out." They exhaled together and Lance repeated the process until Keith was somewhat calm again.

"It…it doesn't freak you out, does it?" Keith asked shyly. Lance shook his head.

"No way. You…you're body…" he trailed off as he looked again. "It's so good," he breathed and caressed Keith's hip. He took another shaky deep breath and Lance looked up again in time to catch a tear falling down Keith's face.

"Do you want to put your shirt back on?" Lance offered sweetly. Keith stubbornly shook his head.

"No…I…I can do this," he insisted. Lance frowned.

"Keith, don't push yourself," he said.

"Lance, I have to get over this or else…" he trailed off and wiped at the tear that loitered his face. Lance sighed and then let go of Keith's hips. The pale boy looked at him with a worried expression, but then found himself watching Lance peel off his own shirt.

"We're not that different. I mean I would say you're flat chested as fuck," Lance said and tossed his shirt to the side. Keith's eyes followed to fabric, but quickly returned to Lance. "Like there's nothing there to grab. You probably don't even need your binder at all to be honest," Lance continued and rubbed gentle circles against Keith's hip bones. That always forced him to relax and open up to Lance.

"You…y-you think so?" He stuttered.

"Please I doubt they even make a bra small enough for you to fit. You're not even a triple A," Lance scoffed. Keith smiled a little.

"I dunno, I haven't really measured myself," he replied. Lance chuckled.

"I'll save you the math. Your size quadruple zero with no cup size whatsoever," Lance assured him and leaned in to kiss his neck. Keith giggled a little and returned his arms around lance's neck.

"You didn't tell me that you're a math genius," Keith grinned. Lance chuckled and drifted his hands up a little higher on Keith's waist.

"I'm also good at anatomy too. I totally aced health class in sophomore year," he mumbled and deepened the kisses on Keith's collar bones.

"Yeah?" Keith whispered with a grin as he let his head tilt back to expose more of his skin.

"Yeah…I took art class as well, and you'd fit right in with the Monets," Lance murmured and kissed down a little farther. Keith breathed a laugh, but nervously dug his fingers in Lance's hair as he got lower.

"Your skin…so soft," Lance sighed between kisses as he trailed down more until his tongue pushed against Keith's erect nipple.

     Keith blinked at the lack of sensation and then craned his neck to watch Lance's mouth work against the hard nub. At first it was like nothing, but then it started to tickle when Lance softly dragged his teeth against his lack of a breast. He held his hand over his mouth as he let Lance indulge in his chest, but couldn't hold back the giggles bubbling from his throat. Then he started to jerk away because it just tickled so much and he wasn't getting any of the desired effects Lance was probably aiming for.

"What's so funny?" Lance asked. Keith giggled again and pulled his hand away.

"That tickles," he snickered. Lance frowned.

"It does? I thought it was supposed to feel good."

"Yeah, I've got like no feeling anymore. It's just really ticklish," he grinned. Lance blushed and looked away out of embarrassment.

"You let me do that for like a minute before telling me you don't feel anything?" He grumbled.

"Aw, don't be upset with me, please," Keith pleaded with a frown and turned Lance's chin to look up at him. He pouted in response. "I'll make it up to you," Keith coaxed and dragged his hand from Lance's face down to his bare chest. Lance's eyes widened.

"W-what did you have in mind?" Lance stuttered. Keith smiled.

"Well the last time I said I've never seen a dick in real life and…it was pretty dark, wasn't it? I might need a better look," he teased and crawled back off of Lance's lap.

"Oh, r-really?" Lance tried to stop his voice from cracking. He really truly did. Keith hummed and undid Lance's jeans.

"I didn't get a good feel last time either. I think I'm gonna have to try another method," he continued and tugged the denim back a little.

"In w-what way?" Lance asked eagerly. Keith looked up at him with a sly smirk as he pulled Lance out of his underwear.

"I dunno. Maybe tasting will work better," he whispered over the head. Lance let out an audible whimper and twitched in front of Keith. His face was bright red as Keith gaped at the movement.

"I didn't know it did that," he hummed.

"O-only sometimes," Lance stuttered. Keith bit his lip briefly before leaning closer and ghosting his lips down Lance's shaft.

"Sometimes?" He murmured and hovered back up his length.

"Whenever…I get really turned on," he replied. Keith chuckled, and his hot breath made Lance shiver.

"That's so cute," he said. Lance would've protested, but his complaint turned in to a whimper the moment he felt Keith's tongue dart out against his head. He grinned at the sound. "Really cute."



     It was hot. Actually it was rather cold, but Keith was sweltering under his blue hoodie he stole from Lance. He was undoubtedly wet between his legs, but he didn't mind the physical discomfort. He was too busy focusing on the mental euphoria as he replayed last weekend over and over again. There was a pattern forming where whenever he did something dirty with Lance he was absolutely smitten for days after the fact. Like the orgasms they shared had some kind of magic to them that lasted for days on end. Magic that made Keith want Lance even more and daydream about past adventures as well as adventures yet to come.

     One of the prevalent memories in his head was blowing Lance. Never did he think he'd actually give head to someone, but having Lance in his mouth was unbelievable. He loved feeling how hard Lance was and knowing that he was at fault for that. Warm taut skin dragging against his tongue while he watched Lance's face pinch with pleasure. It was his new favorite thing to look at.

     Of course he fixed a few of his mess ups in his head. It wasn't perfect, but he stitched together the moments that were. Remembering that was almost as good as remembering the numerous times Lance brought him over the edge too. While he loved receiving from the gorgeous tan boy, he much preferred looking up at his freckled cheeks and lidded blue eyes instead. For some reason that brought him more pleasure than the thought of that skilled tongue swirling around his growth without mercy…or maybe they were both good memories.

     Good memories pushed aside, Keith was in the middle of the library. It was better than dozing off thinking that that stuff during class, or worse, next to Lance during class. He was already caught sniffing his damn hoodie, Keith didn't need another thing for Lance to tease him about relentlessly. Honestly he had no right. If Keith called him out for every dumb coupley thing he did in public-

"Hey, Keith."

     The dark haired boy looked up at the brunette girl he faintly remembered. He squinted at her face as he tried desperately to remember where he's seen her face before as she smiled at him. Then the memories suddenly came flooding back and he blinked with recognition.

"Tracy," he blurted. She giggled.

"Yeah, um…hi. Can I talk to you about something?" She asked. She was honestly a lot more pleasant sober.

"Yeah, sure," Keith replied reluctantly gesturing to a chair nearby. She sat next to him and tucked his hair behind her ear.

"Uh…I dunno if you remember me. I was at Chad's party and I was pretty drunk-"

"Must've been considering you tried to eat Lance's face," he muttered only somewhat bitterly. She laughed awkwardly.

"Yeah, I can get really messy when I'm drunk, but I apologize for making you watch that," she said. Keith nodded and rested his forearms on the table.

"'S fine," he mumbled and laid his head in his arms.

"No really…um…I'm sorry," she said sincerely. Keith glanced at her and furrowed her brows.

"O…Kay?" He muffled against the hoodie sleeve. She sighed.

"Okay. I don't wanna gossip or anything, and I don't want to invade your personal life or anything, but…" she hesitated and frowned.

"But…?" Keith prompted.

"Are you…I mean…are you and Lance really…dating?" She stammered. Keith sighed. He was used to this question by now.

"No," he responded blandly.

"Keith. I want you to know you can trust me. I'm totally one hundred percent supportive of you and Lance, okay? I just…" Keith lifted his head from his arms as Tracy paused. "I know what it's like to keep a secret. How stressful it can be, so if you ever need to talk about something you can come to me," she told him. Keith blinked at her. Well shit.

"Oh. Okay," he responded slowly. She nodded.

"So, if the rumors are true I can keep your secret and try to debunk them. I'll tell everyone you're just friends and you can talk to me whenever you need to," she offered. He was silent for a moment as she sat there waiting.

     Did he really need to tell anyone? He was actually pretty used to holding a secret about himself, but now he had a bigger secret on top of him being trans. Thankfully no one suspected his gender, so he didn't have to worry about that. His sexuality on the other hand…someone had already tried to harass him about it. Now he was always kind of worried about who would threaten him next. Stacy was always on his worry radar, and when Brandon came back to school he felt a little bit more unsafe than usual.

     Maybe it was a good idea to talk to someone about this. Maybe Lance…no. Lance dealt with his shit enough Keith didn't need to add any more unnecessary pressures to him. Besides Lance would face a bigger loss than Keith if their relationship ever got out in the open. He would lose his status among his peers and he'd be picked on beyond belief. Probably more than Keith. He couldn't add on anymore stress to Lance. Not when they were in the midst of their senior year. It was just too much and Keith didn't want to burden him.

"Well, I'll give you my phone number incase you need to talk. It's my home phone since my cell phone is like way over my with minutes," Tracy said as she wrote her number on a slip of paper.
She handed it to Keith and stood up to walk away. He looked down at the slip of paper and studied the number before looking up to watch Tracy start to walk away. His teeth clenched and he felt panic start to reside in his chest again.

"W-wait!" He stuttered. He was promptly shushed by the librarian, but Tracy still stopped. The brunette turned to look at him and he bit his lip nervously.

"Let's talk…"



"…and that, Ladies and Gentlemen, is why you should vote in the negation. Thank you."

     Lance concluded his speech and enjoyed the sound of knocking around the room. He sat down with his speech partner and they exchanged a friendly fist bump. They were then rushed out of the room for the voting process to take place, and when they came back inside the vote was in favor of the negation. The tan boy basked in another victory and enjoyed the short praise from the rest of the class. He could care less about the last fifteen minutes of class, and accepted his classmates compliments and criticism with a grain of salt. In the end he didn't really care much about improving. He was happy to just argue for an hour and a half and get a school credit for it.

     Speech and debate class was probably his favorite class. Of course behind English class, but if he didn't have Keith he would've skipped that class so many times if he was being honest. That and he needed that last English credit so he wouldn't have skipped it as much as he thought he would. Although he had Larissa in that class and she would've let him cheat off her tests…

     Lance's thoughts were disrupted when he felt a tap on his shoulder. Stacy grinned at him when he turned his head and he groaned. He turned his head back to the front without a second thought, but he was bothered again anyways.

"What?" He hissed.

"The cats out of the bag, Lance," she whispered. He frowned.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I dunno…ask your boyfriend," she said innocently.

     Lance's eyes widened and he looked around the class. He suddenly felt as if everyone was looking at him. Mostly because everyone practically was. At different times that is. All his classmates were talking and looking in the last five minutes of class and he felt the sweat start to bead at his forehead. His palms got hot and he had the sudden urge to just run away and hide from all the whispers and stares he was getting.

     What happened? Did someone beat up Keith and make him tell the truth? No way…he was too tough to let that happen to him. He knew Keith. Keith was too stubborn. So if it wasn't that then what the hell was happening? Did Stacy just lie to everyone and they all believed her because of the rumors? Maybe they weren't looking at him…no they were all definitely looking at Lance. It was painfully obvious and painful over all.

     Lance looked over at Stacy again and she wore a smug smile as the bell rung. He quickly stood up and gathered his stuff as she walked out of the class and he was fumbling with his papers. When he finally got his stuff together he was held back by the teacher.

"Hey, Lance! Do you have a moment?" The teacher, Mr. Takashi, asked. Lance glared at the door and then looked impatiently at the teacher. Mr. Takashi was Pidge's adoptive dad. He couldn't just blow him off.

"Uh…not a long one," he replied.

"Listen, Lance…you're a very talented debater-"

"Thank you. I'm sorry, but I have to-"

"I wasn't finished yet, Lance. I wanted to suggest that you perhaps take debate more seriously. You could definitely make a living off of your talent," Takashi continued.

"Mr. Takashi, please-"

"Call me Shiro outside of class. You're close enough with Katie that I trust you," Shiro insisted and patted Lance's shoulder.

"Okay…Shiro…I really need to go-"

"I understand. High school feels like it's the most important thing in the world, but it's not. I'd like to recommend you to think hard about where you wanna go to college. We have a wonderful law school right here in Oregon. Lewis and Clark law school. I'll send you and email to their website and you can look into enrolling-"

"Yes. Of course. I'll look in to that, but I seriously need to go," Lance blurted and stuffed his binder in to his backpack. Shiro sighed and nodded.

"Okay. I understand. Promise me you'll think about Lewis and Clark," he urged. Lance nodded and hurried out the door.

"You got it, Takashi!" He called as he ran out in to the hall. Shiro sighed again.

"Kids these days…"



"Stacy!" Lance called through the crowd.

     The flittering blond hair passed through the crowd ahead of him as he pushed through. A huge mass of kids shuffling out of one exit was hard to move through, and it was only until after he got out of the school did he catch up to Stacy. He panted as she stood with her arms crossed in front of him.

"Oh hello, Lance. How's it going?" She asked.

"What did you do?" He demanded to know glaring up at her. She wore a shocked innocent expression and held her hand in front of her gaped mouth.

"Me? Do something to spite you? How dare you assume I could be so nasty," she replied.

"Cut the act, Stacy! Tell me what you did!" He snapped. She giggled.

"I did absolutely nothing…although if I were you I'd be asking my boyfriend," she hummed.

"I don't have a boyfriend," Lance growled.

"Word on the street is you do," Stacy said and patted his shoulder before walking off.

     Lance glared at her as she left his sight before shaking his head and looking around. There was that feeling again. Like everyone was watching him and listening to him and talking about him. It made his skin crawl and his shoulders hunch as he quickly passed through the crowd to the parking lot. He found Keith sat on the edge of his car as usual, except now his arms were wrapped around himself and his head was down.

     Lance carefully approached him and touched his shoulder. Keith shuddered and a drop of wetness fell on his bumper.

"Keith…are you okay?" Lance asked. Keith then slowly looked up at Lance. His eyes were red along with his nose and his cheeks as tears stained his face. Navy color was flooded with guilt and grief as Keith's lower lip quivered.

"I'm so sorry, Lance."

Chapter Text

"What do you want to talk about?" Tracy asked plopping back down next to Keith. He shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat.

"You…you've heard about the rumors. Everyone has, and…if I'm being completely honest…I can't say they're not true," he started. Tracy nodded.

"That's okay," she assured him. He let out a deep breath.

"Lance and I…" he nodded. "We…w-we like each other…a lot and…we have something special."

"I bet it's very special, Keith," Tracy validated. He smiled a little.

"He's just…really great. I've never met anyone like him, a-and I can't help the way I feel about him y'know?" He spoke quietly, teetering on a whisper as he looked over at her.

"It's just the way you are," she agreed.

"I was surprised he even liked me back…and he's helped me through a lot. Every time I see him I can't help but think about how lucky I am to have him and how I don't deserve him no matter how much he'll tell me I do."

"Aw, Keith. That's so sweet."

"I just…w-we've…kissed," he whispered the last part for sure. Her eyes widened and she leaned closer. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to kiss someone who you like so much-couldn't explain why-and know they like you back?" He asked. She shook her head. "It was like…the universe made sense for every moment we touched and…" he trailed off as he thought about that day in the snow. He blushed and his throat went dry when he thought about the brush of Lance's lips and the warmth of his breath.

"It sounds amazing. Keith," Tracy told him. He nodded.

"Sorry…it's just…I deny it so much in school it feels so good to talk about it to someone…I really like Lance," he blurted. Tracy nodded in understanding.

"And that's totally okay, Keith. You don't have a choice when it comes to liking someone," she said. He smiled.

"Yeah…yeah. Thank you," he said.

     It felt nice to hear someone say that. To hear someone say they understand that it wasn't his fault. He didn't choose Lance. At this point they were kinda stuck together, and Keith loved that about them. He loved Lance. It was scary to think that, but he honestly did. He was in love with Lance McClain and he didn't know how to deal with the weight that came with being in love. Denying it had gotten so tiring that he just wanted to tell Lance. Tell him everything and tell everyone else about how happy that boy made him feel.

"I think you and Lance make a very cute couple, and I'm happy you decided to trust me with this. I won't tell a soul," she promised. Keith nodded and gave her a smile. "Oh Keith…"

"Oh." His eyes started watering and he quickly wiped away the wetness. He honestly hated crying, but with his anxiety and dysphoria it happened more frequently then he liked. Now he was just being a big baby, so he quickly recovered. "Sorry, it's nothing."

"Okay. Well, I should get going. Stacy and Jessica are waiting for me, but I'm glad we had this talk," she said standing up. He nodded and smiled up at her.

"Yeah…me too. Thank you."



     By the time dismissal had came around, Keith knew he made a mistake. The feeling of relief he had after talking to Tracy slowly turning in to anxiety and guilt and paranoia as he felt as if the entire library was looking at him. He looked up every now and then from his book and noticed eyes pointed in his direction. They were accompanied by whispers and together it mixed in to the perfect anxiety-provoking cocktail. He felt like he was being suffocated. A tight grip on his neck only getting tighter the more he noticed people were looking.

     Tracy was no where in sight. She had left earlier, and from what Keith could tell she was a little upset. Stacy and Jessica stayed a little longer, but he paid no attention to them. Perhaps he should have because he had a funny feeling the blond was out for him. Like she was a cheetah stalking her prey and was waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. It was worse than the anxiety cocktail. When they finally left Keith still didn't find relief from the awful feeling churning in his stomach.

     It was close enough to the dismissal bell that Keith started to pack up his stuff. His fingers trembled as he fumbled with his book and barely managed to get his stuff in his backpack. The whispers where still prevalent as he walked out the library, but it got worse when he noticed kids in the hall whispering as well. Everywhere he went there were eyes and he felt as if he were in some weird twisted dream. Sweat gathered at his forehead as he walked down the stairs and tried to take deep breaths. It didn't seem to work. Each kid or couple of kids he passed looked at him as they continued to whisper and he hurried to the front door.

     When he pushed the door and walked outside it felt like a wave of relief. He gasped for air as he stood outside for a moment and bent over with his hands on his knees. His fingers still trembled when he held them up and he whimpered before continuing his path to Lance's car. He sat on the end and huddled close to himself as he watched the front doors. Then he couldn't bare watching and instead looked down at the ground as tears started to pour. There they were again. Pathetic tears that showed just how weak Keith felt. It was ridiculous to him that he was crying but he couldn't help it. His system was riddled with guilt and anxiety and just a plain god awful feeling.

"Keith…are you okay?"

     The sound of Lance's voice only made him feel worse. He reluctantly looked up to Lance's concerned and confused face. His blue eyes focused on Keith and his mouth in a tight yet slight frown. Keith couldn't take it.

"I'm so sorry, Lance," he whimpered. Lance frowned deeper and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Keith, what happened?" Lance demanded to know. Keith sighed and buried his face in his hands.

"I dunno I just…I didn't think…I'm sorry," he sobbed. Lance gently held both of Keith's shoulders.

"Keith. I need you to tell me what happened," he said sternly. Keith took a ridiculously shaky breath.

"I…I-I told Tracy-"

"Tracy?" Lance interrupted loudly. Keith bit his lip and nodded. "What did you tell her?"

"I-I told her about us," Keith stuttered.

"Why?" Lance's grip had tightened on Keith's arms subconsciously, and his voice was rougher. Louder.

"S-she just…she asked a-and she said she was okay with it and s-supported us…s-she said I could trust her," he stammered. Lance growled and let go of Keith. He stressfully ran his hand through his hair and walked a few steps away. "I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't think everyone else would know ten minutes after I told her," he said.
"Of course everyone else would know, Keith! This is fucking high school!" Lance snapped turning back to face him. The pale boy flinched slightly and Lance came close again.

"I'm sorry-"

"Use your head, Keith! These people can't be trusted. Now everyone knows!" Lance interrupted. Keith glared at him.

"Why does it matter?" He asked.


"Why does it matter?" Keith repeated. "I don't wanna hide this anymore. Why is it such a big deal?" He challenged.

"Keith, people will try to hurt us for this-"

"Well lying about it hurts me even more!" Keith said raising his voice only slightly. It still quivered and shook, but his tone was strong.

"Do you think I like lying about it? Do you think I like constantly telling people I don't like the one person I've actually been able to feel something for?" He questioned. Keith merely glared at him. "I hate it, Keith! I hate every second of it-"

"So why do you do it?" Keith spat.

"Because I know it's not safe!" Lance replied.

"Or because you know you're friends will treat you differently? All those popular people won't invite you to parties anymore or hang around you like a bunch of leeches?" Keith accused.

"What? No! I don't care about those people! Keith, I've told you before and I'll tell you again. I only care about you!" He reminded him. Keith shook his head and crossed his arms.

"You're so typical, Lance."

"Keith…ugh! Why did you even tell Tracy? Because she said you could trust her?"


"Is that seriously the only fucking reason? Anyone could just say that you can trust them and you'd spill your guts out?" Lance asked trying to keep his voice down again when he realized a few people were paying attention to them.

"N-no! That's not true," Keith stuttered.

"Then tell me why, Keith," he pleaded. Keith sighed.

"I just…like I said I hate lying about it and…it felt so good to tell someone about you…about us. She just…listened and said it was okay…" he trailed off as the tears returned and he turned his head away.


"Sometimes it just feels like there's no point in hiding it. Everyone knows, and…I just…I-" he was cut off by Lance's warm embrace. 

     The pale boy froze with wide eyes as the tan boy held him close, and squeezed him affectionately around his waist. They were in public. Other students could see them. What was he doing?

     Keith's fingers trembled as he wrapped his arms around Lance to return the hug. He squeezed his eyes shut and clung on to the warmth as Lance held him even tighter. It felt so right and so good to just hug Lance without any regard to other people around them. Without any regard to the fact that Lance was slotted between Keith's legs, and nuzzling against his neck. It felt like he was melting when he felt warm lips press reassuringly against his neck.

"I know…I'm so sorry Keith…I just…" he trailed off and pulled back to rest his head on Keith's shoulder. Pale fingers reached up to gently run through short brown hair. "I wanted to protect you. No matter how much it hurt to deny it, I did it so you wouldn't get hurt. Brandon already harassed you, and…I don't want anyone else to hurt you," he said. 

     Keith's heart swelled and he stared at the side of Lance's face with wide eyes. Blue eyes flickered open and he turned his head to look back at Keith. His heart felt heavy with the swell of emotions as he stared at Lance. Those adorable freckles, that warm skin, his ocean eyes that made Keith's throat burn. His lips parted to take a deep breath, but he didn't anticipate the words that left them.


"I'm in love with you."


     Once Keith said it he instantly regretted them. His eyes widened in surprise as Lance stared at him and his heart nearly beat out of his chest. He stumbled with his words, never producing a legible sound, and pushed himself out of Lance's arms and off his car. The tan boy watched speechless as Keith held himself again and struggled to breath a little.

"I-I'm sorry I-I didn't mean th-that i-it was an accident j-just forget about it," he stuttered and tried to take deep breaths. Lance stared at him.


"I-I'm gonna walk home t-today s-so I'll see you later!" He blurted before almost running off. Lance watched him as Keith left, his chest ached with the need to chase after him. But he didn't.



"So. What did you talk to Keith about?" Stacy asked as Tracy approached her and Jessica. The brunette shrugged and picked up one of the books from the shelves.

"Just stuff," she replied.

"Oh yeah, totally," Stacy scoffed.

"Chill out, Stace," Jessica said. The blond rolled her eyes.

"Whatever, Jess," she looked back to Tracy. "So did you ask him about the rumors?"

"We just talked, okay?" Tracy responded firmly.

"Oh I'm just curious. Aren't you?" Stacy hummed.

"Seriously? It's none of our business. If you ask me people are just over analyzing gay rights movements and assume everyone is gay," Jessica butted in again.

"Yeah, you're probably right," Stacy agreed. "Besides. We all know Keith would do anything to get his hands on me," she said smiling at the boy. He gave her a reluctant smile and returned to his reading. Jessica rolled her eyes.

"Not everyone is obsessed with you, Stacy," Tracy muttered. The blond looked over at her and raised a brow.

"Just because you have a crush on him doesn't mean you have a chance," she snarked. Tracy glared at her.

"I don't like him like that anymore. actually moved on," she retorted. Now it was Stacy who was rolling her eyes.

"Good because you were in for nothing but heart break."

"God, Stacy, what is your deal? Just because you're popular and somewhat pretty doesn't mean every guy is gonna fall for you," Tracy snapped.

"You're just jealous," Stacy dismissed.

"This is so petty," Jessica sighed and leaned her head back against the wall.

"Get over yourself, Stacy," Tracy grumbled and stormed off. Stacy waved as she left and returned her attention to Keith.

"He's definitely dating Lance. Isn't he?" She asked Jessica. The dark haired girl was silent for a moment before sighing.

"Yeah," she confirmed.

"How long do you think it's been going on?"

"A long time."

"Interesting…" she hummed.

"Who are you gonna tell?" Jessica asked. She had been "friends" with Stacy for so long that she knew it was useless trying to stop her.

"Mm…just the usual bunch," the blond said pulling out her cell phone and dialing a number. "But I have to get back to class. I'll chat with you later."

"You don't wanna watch the chaos unfold around him?" Jessica asked. Stacy laughed.

"I have someone else I'd like to see squirm a little."



     When Keith got home he couldn't breath. Once he was out of Lance's sight he immediately ran home. His skin felt like it was squeezing him, trying to cut off his circulation, but that very much could've been his binder instead. Alan was on the phone in the kitchen as Keith collapsed on the stairs and huddled in to himself on the last step. He was still gasping for breath when his father quickly hung up and rushed over to him. Whatever Alan was saying Keith couldn't hear him. His ears were ringing and all he could focus on was oh god I can't breathe.

     Sarah was home shortly after Keith, but by then he had nearly passed out. If she hadn't had the sense to rip off his binder he would've been out for at least an hour. Luckily she knew all the risks and dangers of binding and instantly stripped Keith of the caging contraption. He sat panting on the stairs clutching his arms to cover his bare chest. His head was starting to clear up as he blinked slowly at his parents. Sarah rolled up his shirt and he raised his arms for her to pull it down over his head. She then draped his (Lance's) hoodie over his shoulders and the scent from the fabric hit him like a ton of bricks.

"Keith…what's wrong? What happened?" Sarah asked softly as she brushed his hair back in to place. He was still breathing a little heavy as his eyes focused on nothing in particular.

"I'm so sorry…I didn't know his binder did that," Alan muttered.

"It's okay, why don't you get Keith a glass of water?" She suggested.

"Okay," Alan nodded and went back in to the kitchen.

"Keith, honey, can you talk to me?" Sarah tried again. Keith looked at her and his throat felt like it was on fire. He shook his head and she patted his knee reassuringly.

"It's okay, baby. Take your time. It'll be okay," she assured him in hushed tones. He shook his head again and chocked on a sob.

"I…mom," he tried. She merely gently shushed him and hugged him.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's okay…" she whispered.

"I messed up," he wheezed. Sarah sighed.

"It'll be okay, Keith. It's…it's just high school," she said. He hugged her back and shook his head.

"He's more than that."


     The next few days were awkward. Keith was obviously avoiding Lance, and it was throwing everyone off. Hunk and Pidge noticed Keith's absence at lunch, but judging by Lance's grumpiness they didn't bother to ask him why. English class was awkward and silent and Lance was back at his flirty antics with a couple of girls. Keith ignored it the best he could, but he couldn't not be hurt by it. He tried to reason with the theory that he was the one ignoring Lance, and he was probably just trying to defend himself. After all he was still throwing Keith longing stares in the hall and gave somber sighs in class. It was hard, but necessary in Keith's eyes.

     Necessary because whenever he saw Lance his heart raced. This time not in a good way. His palms sweat, and he was filled with nervous energy. He couldn't stop thinking about how angry Lance must still be about talking to Tracy. How much more pissed he must've been because he was being ignored. Keith couldn't handle it after what he said. He went in to full on panic attacks when he imagined the rejection.

     Of course Lance didn't love him back. Not after this. Not after going behind his back and entrusting their secret in someone else without talking about it with him first. He was still infected with guilt and tried not to think about it. Which was hard. He couldn't even read any more, and on their next quiz he got two points below Lance. Not that they compared scores anymore. He just glanced at his paper and thought about the conversation they would've had if Keith hadn't been so isolated to himself.

     And he was literally isolated. He didn't talk to anyone. Not Lance, or Hunk, or Pidge, or Tracy. He barely even spoke to his teachers, and the few times Stacy approached him and tried to chat him up he merely brushed her off and barely said a word. Which, of course, upset her. It didn't matter anymore. She already did all the damage she could, so there was nothing left she could do in retaliation. Except maybe annoy Keith some more. Still that would just result in him ignoring her completely. The only people he spoke to on a daily basis were his parents. Still…they didn't talk much.

"How was school today?" Sarah asked quietly. Keith merely shrugged as he played with his peas.

"Keith, respond to your mother," Alan prompted.

"Alan, don't push him," Sarah scolded.

"'s fine," he mumbled.

"Sarah, he's been like this all week," Alan said.

"Give him time to feel better, okay? These things are difficult," she replied.

"Look, I know break ups are hard, but-"

"Alan!" Sarah interrupted.


"He didn't say it was a break up," she told him.

"It's fine, mom," Keith murmured standing up. "Best to call it what it is."

"Honey, wait," Sarah pleaded, but Keith was already walking out of the kitchen. He was almost up the stairs when there was a timid knock at the door.

"Oh, who's here at this hour?" Alan grumbled.

     Keith heard his father get up, but he was already at the door when there was a second knock. He opened it cautiously and froze when he saw the person on his doormat.

     Lance was standing in front of Keith. He was clutching his arms, shivering from the cold and without a jacket. His eyes looked puffy and red and there was a distinct mark across his cheek. It was red and almost purple. Like a bruise from being struck by someone. His teeth chattered and Keith could barely make out tear stains on his cheeks. The taller boy licked his lips that also looked a little busted and looked at Keith with pleading eyes.

"My dad found out."

Chapter Text

     Sarah wrapped a blanket around Lance's shoulders as he cradled his cup of cocoa. Keith sat next to him awkwardly, but with a concerned look on his face. He watched Lance sip his warm drink and longed to reach out and touch him, comfort him, or just do something. Instead he just sat uselessly on the couch as their thighs brushed and he could feel how cold Lance was.

"Do you mind telling us what happened, Lance?" Sarah asked. He set his mug on the coffee table and he tugged the blanket further over his shoulders.

"I guess…"

"It's okay if you don't want to," Sarah assured him. Alan stood next to the banister on the phone. Keith assumed he was talking to Ana since he slipped in and out of Spanish.

"I feel rude to just barge in like this-"

"Lance, you're more than welcome here," Sarah told him.

"I'm sorry…I just…Hunk was asleep and Pidge's dad is my speech teacher and I just…I dunno. This was the only safe place I could think of," Lance said. Keith finally summoned enough courage to touch Lance's back. He sighed with relief and seemed to relax under Keith's palm.

"I just got home from work and my dad was yelling. He was yelling at my mom and then he was yelling at me and…I didn't know what he was yelling about at first, but I didn't know why until he started… using certain words…like queer and…and faggot," he told them.

"Your own father used those words against you?" Sarah asked. Lance nodded.

"He told me he knew all about me and Keith. I dunno how he found out, but he…hit me when I tried to deny it," he continued. Keith's fingers retracted in to a tight fist as his jaw clenched.

"You can stay here and away from you father for as long as you need to, okay? You can sleep on the couch for tonight and if you need more time Alan and I can get an air mattress or something," she told Lance.

"That's really too kind of you," Lance murmured and picked up his mug again.

"We care about you, Lance. We'll be here for you," Sarah said with a smile. Lance glanced at Keith and they could see the pain in each other's eyes.

"Thank you…"



     Keith couldn't sleep. He laid staring at his ceiling for what felt like hours. His chest ached as he battled in his head in whether or not he should go downstairs. On one hand he craved to see Lance again. He wanted to comfort him and make sure he was still okay and hold him close. On the other hand he was still terrified of Lance's response if he chooses to bring up Keith's word vomit from last week. Just the thought made his throat run dry.

     It was Friday now, so thankfully staying up late wasn't going to mess up his academics any more than it already was. When he glanced at his alarm clock it was well past midnight and his eyes hurt from staring at nothing. He blinked a couple times and sighed as he thought some more.

     It was impossible to deny he missed Lance. It took everything he had not to hug him and squeeze him tightly at the door. Had his mother not swooped in next to him he might've, but she did and he didn't know what to do then. Now he was certain he should've just held him tight and never let go. He should've never left.

     Finally he pushed off his covers and got off his bed. He grabbed Lance's blue hoodie and huddled in to it as he opened his bedroom door. The stairs creaked only a little bit as he tip toed down them and looked in to the living room. Lance was in a bundled mass of blankets on the couch, but Keith couldn't tell if he was asleep or not. So he carefully approached the couch and gasped when Lance rolled over. The tall boy hummed and leaned up on his elbow.

"Keith? What are you doing down here?" Lance asked rubbing his eye.

"N-nothing! Did…did I wake you up?" He stammered. Lance shook his head.

"No…I haven't been able to sleep," he replied.

     Keith felt like there was a lump in his throat as he stood stupidly in front of the couch. Lance blinked up at him, and their eyes adjusted enough to catch the sadness in each other again. The shorter boy stepped closer without a word and quietly started to slip under the blankets with him. Of course Lance shifted to make room for him and welcomed Keith's warmth as they faced each other. It was kinda cramped, so their legs intertwined and Keith's arms naturally slid around Lance. He exhaled deeply against Lance's shoulder as they settled together and held each other closer.

"I'm so sorry," Keith murmured, his voice cracking as he tried not to cry.

"About what?" Lance asked.

"Everything…for Tracy…for fighting…for ignoring you. Just everything," he whimpered. Lance's thumb rubbed under his ribs as he sighed.

"I'm sorry too," he whispered.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Keith replied.

"I yelled at you and…I made you feel bad. I wasn't there for you when you needed someone," he said.

"That's because I wouldn't let you. Lance…this is my fault," Keith sighed. Lance pulled back and frowned at glossy navy eyes.

"It's no ones fault, Keith," he said.

"But it was my mistake-"

"Keith, we all make mistakes. It's not your fault," Lance interrupted.

"Lance-" Keith gasped as he was cut off by Lance's lips. The kiss sent shivers down his spine as his fingers curled in to Lance's teeshirt.

"It's not. Your. Fault," Lance whispered against his lips. Keith frowned.

"I missed you…so much," he breathed. Lance rested his forehead against Keith's.

"I missed you too…it felt like I was slowly dying without you," he murmured. Keith sniffled.

"God, I really suck," he said. Lance laughed a little and shook his head.

"You don't suck," Lance replied.

"But I really do. I ignored you and you were pretty upset about it," Keith pointed out.

"I wasn't that obvious, was I?" Lance asked. Keith chuckled.

"You were flirting with Larissa five feet away from me, but kept looking at me the whole time. You looked miserable." Lance laughed again.

"You noticed that? I thought you had totally checked out. Not even Stacy could annoy you enough to talk," he smiled. Keith rolled his eyes.

"Ignoring her is easier when you replace her voice with the adults from the peanuts," Keith replied. Lance laughed a little louder and his arms shook around Keith with his chest.

"That's fucking hilarious," he grinned. Keith grinned back.

"I really did miss you a lot," Keith sighed. Lance nodded.

"I missed you too…I missed you like crazy," Lance whispered. 

     Keith bit his lip briefly and kissed him instead of saying something in return. Mostly because he was certain his next words would be another love confession and he couldn't run away again this time. When he pulled away Lance looked at him and spoke. Turned out his kiss was in vain.


"Did you mean it?"


     Keith looked away.

"Mean what?" He asked. Lance retreated his arm from the warmth of Keith's embrace and instead cupped his face.

"When you told me you were in love with me," he said clearly. Keith blushed bright red and peeked up at Lance through his lashes.

"I…I don't want to say yes," Keith responded.

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"I'm scared you don't feel the same," he spoked barely above a whisper. Lance chuckled and shook his head. Keith frowned. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No no, it's just…" he smiled. "It's just funny to me that you think I'm not fucking hopeless when it comes to you." Keith blushed again.


"Keith…I am so in love with you," he said. The dark haired boy stared at Lance with wide eyes. His chest was racing and he clung tighter to his teeshirt.

"S-say that again," he stuttered as he exhaled. Lance leaned closer and kissed him sweetly.

"I'm in love with you," he complied. Keith shivered and connected their lips once again.

"Lance," he murmured.

"It's really stupid that you thought I wasn't," Lance said with a giggle. Keith pulled back and glared at him.

"You're stupid," Keith replied.

"I mean it was pretty obvious…"

"You're talking to the person with no social skills whatsoever," Keith reminded him. Lance grinned.

"Right. I forgot. I was too ~lost in your eyes~," he purred. Keith's lip curled in dissatisfaction and Lance laughed louder.

"Shhh…you'll wake up my parents," Keith scolded. Lance giggled quieter.

"You're so cute. I love you," he grinned. Keith blushed.

"Shut up," he grumbled.

"Don't you love me too?" Lance hummed as he ducked down and pressed his lips to Keith's neck. The pale boy bit his lip and tilted his head back a bit to give Lance more to kiss.

"Yeah," he said.

"Why don't you say it?" Lance prompted and moved his hand to Keith's waist.

"'S embarrassing," he muttered.

"I just told you I was lost in your eyes. You can't get anymore embarrassing than that," Lance pointed out. Keith took a shaky breath.

"Okay…" he pressed his lips together as Lance pulled his hips closer and introduced his tongue to Keith's skin. "I love you," he sighed. Lance paused. "…Lance?"

"Fuck, why did you make it sound so sexy?" He growled.

"I-I did not!" Keith whisper-yelled.

"You totally did. You did it on purpose," Lance accused.

"Shut up! No I didn't!"

"You absolutely did. You're trying to seduce me aren't you? Well it's working." Keith could feel Lance's smirk against his neck and bit his lip when strong hands pushed him closer. Their bodies touched and Keith sighed.

"I'm not seducing you. You just have a gross dirty mind," Keith murmured as Lance resumed his kissing. Lance hummed.

"Then I'll have to seduce you," he said and trailed his hand down Keith's thigh. Tan fingers hooked on Keith's knee and his breath hitched when he was pulled even closer to Lance. Their hips met and he took a shaky breath.


"I love you…so much," Lance mumbled and touched more.

"Lance, can we…just cuddle or something?" Keith asked. Lance's hand stopped in its tracks and his lips hesitated over his collar bone. He pulled back.

"Oh…yeah, sure," he nodded.

"I'm sorry. It's just…I'm really fucking exhausted. I would love to continue, but…"

"Maybe another time?"

"Yeah," Keith nodded. "But now we should sleep. I haven't been able to sleep well lately."

"Me too," Lance replied. Keith moved his leg down and Lance nuzzled in to the crook of his neck. Arms wrapped around his waist, and in return Keith embraced Lance around his neck. Pale fingers stroked short brown hair and they slowly but surely fell asleep together.



"Yeah he's doing okay. He just finished eating breakfast with Keith," Sarah spoke in to the phone as she peeked out in to the living room. Lance was snuggled up to Keith under a blanket with a tired, but happy, look on his face. He yawned as Keith stroked his hair and smiled at him.

"How is he feeling? Is he still upset with John?" Ana asked on the other line.

"I can't really tell right now. He looks really happy, but he's also with Keith and they tend to have that effect on each other," Sarah said and smiled as Keith pressed a kiss to the top of Lance's head.

"I had no idea they liked each other so much. I knew they got along well enough for Lance to invite him over a couple times, but…Lance didn't tell me anything about this," Ana sighed. She sounded distressed and upset.

"He was probably scared. I know Keith was scared to tell me and Alan about his sexuality, and when he did I'm not gonna lie, it was hard. It's a scary world out there, and sometimes these kids don't know how their parents will react."

"Oh my…I wish I listened more…or did something. John just went out of control when he found out. He's honestly a wonderful guy he just…has problems understanding others sometimes," Ana said. Sarah sighed.

"I'm sure he is. I'm just worried about Lance and if John will do anything again," she confessed.

"I will take care of John. I already had a long talk with him and I think he understands a little better. He feels guilty and he owes Lance way more than an apology."

"That's good…he's really a good boy. He's done amazing things for Keith. I can tell they really make each other happy, and it's so great seeing Keith smile again," Sarah said as she smiled herself at the two on the couch. Keith glanced up at her and smiled wider before bringing Lance's hands up closer around his waist rather than his hips. She nodded and chuckled a little as Lance yawned again and let his eyes rest.

"Lance has actually been doing homework…and my brother says he works nicely at the grocery store with a real smile. He leaves early in time to see me in the mornings and he just seems…more relaxed," Ana told Sarah.

"He's always bouncing with energy. I'm surprised to see him so sleepy right now," Sarah hummed. Light snores came from Lance, and Keith giggled.

"Oh…I have to go to work now. Tell him I miss him and I love him please. If he wants to talk to me he can call and he can come home when he's ready. I won't let John hurt him again," she requested.

"Of course. I'll tell him when he wakes up again," Sarah promised.

"Thank you Sarah…for everything you've done," Ana murmured.

"It's no problem. Have a good day at work."

"Okay. Goodbye."

"Bye, Ana," Sarah said. They hung up the phone and Sarah continued to watch Lance fall deeper in to sleep against Keith's shoulder. She then came over to sit next to them on the couch and smiled at Keith.

"Hey…how's it going?" She asked.

"Good. He fell asleep again," Keith murmured blinking slowly. Sarah laughed quietly.

"I can see that. Are you two going to be okay alone today? I have to go to work now, and Alan will be up a little later to leave as well. He has to go in to the office for once," she said. Keith nodded and leaned his head on the couch.

"We'll be okay. We'll probably spend a lot of time sleeping since we're both a little sleep deprived," he murmured. Sarah nodded.

"That sounds like a good idea. I'll see you tonight at four to make you some dinner. Lunch should be easy. There's some bread in the pantry and sandwich making stuff in the fridge."

"Okay," Keith hummed and nodded his head. His eyes drooped closed and he sighed. Sarah ruffled his hair a little.

"Goodnight sweetheart. I'll see you when I get home," she whispered and kissed the top of his head.

"Bye mama," he mumbled.

"Goodbye, honey."



     Keith woke up to the sensation of lips against his collar bones. The comfy heat spread over him like a warm summer breeze, and he smiled when he felt hands shift under his back. Of course he arched in to the touch and allowed the lazy kisses to continue to the collar of his loose teeshirt. A pleased sigh escaped his mouth as he stroked short soft hair. He finally registered the weight between his legs as Lance and the blanket wrapped around himself. His legs shifted against fabric and what he recognized as Lance's waist. Then he felt those warm hands wiggle under his shirt and a shiver ran down his spine. He smiled big.

"Is this a dream?" He asked.

"If it is…I don't wanna wake up," Lance responded in a husky voice. Keith moaned in satisfaction from hearing Lance speak. His body contorted to Lance's touch and he softly dug his nails in to his brown hair.

"You sound so nice," Keith hummed. Lance chuckled and kissed up to his neck.

"Is it another time yet? I want you," he whispered and took away one hand from Keith's back. The shorter boy groaned in protest, but then gave a pleased sigh when it returned against his inner thigh.

"I can't say no when you say things like that," he muttered. Lance brought their lips together. His tongue worked languidly against Keith, and he was even more helpless to him then before. A hot sound escaped from Keith between them and Lance swallowed it whole as he pushed Keith's body up against his. Keith moaned.

"Ah…Lance," he breathed and pushed his hips up at his own accord. The taller boy growled against his lips and clutched his hips.

"Fucking Christ," he wheezed. Lance snapped his own hips forward and Keith let out a breathy moan.

"Fuck…I love you," Keith gasped and rolled in to him. The friction between them was only separated by thin pajamas pants and underwear. It was a different feeling from thick denim. Lance kissed Keith feverishly as he cupped his ass. He pushed the shorter boy closer until there was no space between their groins and only pure pleasure.

"I love you…all of you," Lance sighed and dragged his teeth over Keith's bottom lip. 

     Keith desperately rubbed himself against Lance in search for more heat, more touch, more him. He kissed Lance back slowly, but with vigor as he gripped his hair in fists. It was pathetic to him that he was well on his way to cumming and all they've done is heavy petting and grinding. Then again he was doing all of it with Lance. Possibly the love of his life and a strong gorgeous boy who loved him. This wasn't some unrequited love story. It was an actual love story, and he loved every page of it.

"Good morning."

     Keith's eyes snapped open when he recognized his father's voice. He crawled back and away from Lance which caused the taller boy to fall off the couch completely. Keith looked down at Lance and then up at his father with wide eyes. Alan had an amused smile as he stood next to the banister.

"Mm…what gives?" Lance muttered as he sat up and rubbed his head. He then caught sight of Alan next to the banister and turned bright red. "Oh…" he slowly sunk back to the floor while Keith still had a wide worried look.

"I take it you boys got a good amount of sleep," Alan spoke.

"Uh…y-yeah," Keith stuttered.

"That's good. I'll be leaving soon, but if you need anything feel free to call me in the office, okay?"


"Good. Oh! And also: hands above the waist, Lance."

Chapter Text

     Lance ended up going home that Sunday. Ana picked him up for church, and he promised Keith he'd pick him up for school the next day. Sarah and Ana exchanged words while Keith clung to Lance for the last few seconds of contact before going back to pretending. Ana assured them that John was under control now and that Lance was safe with her. Of course Keith and Sarah trusted her, but Keith wished Lance could've stayed a little longer. He still felt like they needed to make up for lost time despite how amazing that Saturday had been.

     It was like no one else existed once Alan left. Like they were the only two people in the universe. All that mattered was the love in Keith's heart and the warmth from Lance's body. He constantly wanted to live in that moment of absolute bliss with Lance. Holding him close and never wanting to let go. He didn't want to think about how they would have to go back to being just friends when they got to school. But saying goodbye that Sunday was like erasing everything that had happened the previous magical day.

     When Lance picked up Keith for school on Monday the pale boy greeted him with a nice long and soft kiss. He hadn't done that before, and when he pulled back the look on Lance's face could only be described as pure happiness. It was a good start to an indubitably bad day. Lance grinned the entire drive to school, and continued to smile when they walked up to the front of the school. So far it was rather smooth sailing until they enetted through the doors.

"Look at that. The lovebirds patched things up," a boy with greasy dark brown hair said. Keith frowned and Lance stood there awkwardly.

"Was there some trouble in paradise for a few days?" The boy continued with a toothy grin.

"Shut up," Keith grumbled and walked past him. Lance watched as Keith walked away from him and then glanced at the boy he recognized as Donald from his PE class.

"Heh. You queers are so sensitive," Donald muttered and leaned against the wall. 

     One of his friends joined him and Lance was still frozen. He kept his eyes on Keith as he glanced over his shoulder. Their eyes connected and Keith quickly looked away. It hurt. Lance hated it.

     After a week of trying so hard to ignore Keith he didn't want to anymore. He remembered what he told Keith before a long time ago. That Lance only cared about him, and that he didn't care about the others. He was sick of his other friends and people he didn't even know. He didn't care what they did or didn't approve of anymore. That he didn't ever want to ignore Keith ever again in his life. His heart ached as Keith continued down the hall and Donald chatted about whatever with his friend.

     Did it even matter that much to others? Donald didn't even seem to care. All he wanted was a reaction because he was a terrible person. Maybe…it was okay. Maybe they didn't have to hide it. If that was the case then there was absolutely no reason for Lance to keep standing there like an idiot.

"Whoa! Slow down McClain!" Donald shouted.

     Lance ignored him. He was too busy running down the hall closer and closer to the once disappearing figure of Keith. People moved out of the way before he could bump in to them and he grinned when Keith turned around at the sound of running feet approaching him. Wide navy eyes was the first thing Lance saw when he caught up to Keith, and then immediately hunched over his knees to catch his breath. Keith watched Lance as he panted and stood up straight.

"How did you…Jesus Christ…you walk really fast," he huffed. Keith raised a brow.

"Uh…did you need something?" He asked.

"Yeah…fuck…how did you get so damn far?" Lance wheezed.

"Lance, you stood at the door for like five minutes. I'm not slow," Keith replied.

"I know I know just…man," Lance sighed. Keith rolled his eyes and turned his shoulder to keep walking.

"Hey hold up," Lance jogged lightly to catch up with Keith again. He slipped his hand seamlessly into Keith's and smiled at his red face.

"What the hell are you doing?" Keith hissed tugging his hand away.

"What I want," Lance replied and interlocked their fingers again. Keith stiffened and looked around them.

"Lance, you said it's not safe," Keith reminded him.

"I know what I said, but I'm sick of this. I'm tired of telling people who don't matter things just to please them," Lance said. Keith blinked up at him.

"But…your friends…everyone-"

"Doesn't matter to me," Lance cut off stepping closer. Keith gaped up at him stupidly as the space between them got smaller and smaller. "Keith, I only wanna please you, and if you're done pretending then so am I," he spoke softly. Keith let out a shaky breath and moved even closer to Lance.

"Are you sure?" He whispered. Lance nodded.

"The only thing I want is to make you happy, so if this is what you want then I'm one hundred percent sure," he confirmed. Keith was silent for a moment before he smiled.

"You're so stupid," he said. Lance frowned.

"That is not the response I was hoping for," Lance replied.

"Well it's the response you're getting because you're really fucking stupid," Keith told him smiling wider.

"This isn't fair. I was expecting something more like 'wow Lance! You're so amazing and brave! I love you so much!'." Keith bursted out laughing.

"Yeah no. That's definitely not happening," Keith said and walked on still holding Lance's hand.

"Your not gonna acknowledge how courageous I am for doing this with you? Some psycho could stab us for being gay and that doesn't concern you at all?" Lance questioned. Keith shook his head.

"Nope," he replied.

"Aw c'mon. Not even a little bit of praise?" Lance continued. Keith stopped and lightly pecked his cheek.

"None at all," he said. Lance would've stayed there out of pure surprise that Keith actually kissed his cheek in public, but he was tugged forward by their joined hands. "C'mon. Let's go find Pidge and Hunk."




     Stacy hummed as she surveyed her English class. It was about mid-lecture and that's when she got the most bored. She checked her fancy-shamancy flip phone and sighed when nothing interested her. Usually she liked to watch the feud she started between Lance and Keith, but for some reason it seemed rather peaceful for the time being. Still she thought nothing of it and decided it was just another boring day. That was until she thought she saw one of them lean against the other. It turned out her eyes weren't playing tricks on her.

     Lance was resting his head on the table, and he was tilted at just the right angle to touch Keith's forearm. At first it was only slightly suspicious until pale fingers reached out to run through his short hair. Stacy glared at where skin met hair, and watched them interact. It was all subtle, but only an idiot couldn't see what was happening. They were being affectionate with each other. More than they've ever been before. She didn't like it.

     Within the last few minutes of class Keith slumped down over the desk too. He looked over at Lance and smiled against his arm. The other boy smiled back and shifted closer. Their feet nudged against each other and Keith giggled as Lance tickled his ankle. He kicked in retaliation and they ended up touching foreheads. Keith murmured something that made Lance blush and stutter something back. That only made Keith laugh and scoot closer until he could lean his head on Lance's shoulder.

     The whole charade made Stacy's blood boil. She decided to wait until the bell rung, and when it did she swiftly approached Lance and tapped his shoulder. The tall boy turned to face her and gave her an unimpressed smile.

"Hey, Stace. What's up?" He greeted.

"Can I talk to you alone for a moment?" She asked sternly. He nodded and looked over at Keith.

"I'll be right back," he told him. Keith nodded and Lance followed Stacy away from Keith.

"What are you doing?" She whisper-yelled eying Keith.

"What do you mean?" Lance questioned.

"I mean, what are you doing with Keith?" she hissed. Lance shrugged.

"Nothing out of the ordinary," he replied.

"I'm sorry, but playing footsie and taking naps on each other is a little out of the ordinary," she spat. Lance merely smiled as he shrugged once again.

"I guess I grew the balls to admit it," he said before walking away still facing her. Stacy gaped at him.

"To admit what?" She demanded to know.

"I dunno, Stacy. Ask my boyfriend," he grinned and turned around to join Keith next to the door.

"I thought you didn't have a boyfriend, McClain," she challenged from were she stood in the middle of the classroom. Lance took Keith's hand and then looked at her over his shoulder.

"C'mon, Stacy. It was pretty obvious."




"Jesus Christ, you guys are worse than the straight couples around here," Hunk groaned. Keith giggled as he pushed Lance's face away from his neck.

"S-sorry," he stuttered with a grin.

"Get over it," Lance replied and merely continued to hold Keith tighter around his waist.

"I dunno. It's kinda cute. Besides its not like they're sucking face like the popular kids in the hall at any given time," Pidge pointed out.

"Yeah, exactly," Lance agreed and then nuzzled against Keith's neck again. Keith merely blushed and smiled as he reached up to ruffle Lance's hair.

"It definitely draws more attention though," Hunk mumbled as he eyed the people eying them. Keith looked out as well and self-consciously retracted his hand down from Lance's hair.

"It really does, doesn't it?" He said shyly and turned his own attention to his lunch.

"Well, that's just because they're not used to seeing it. Like there were rumors before, but now that they see it it's different," Pidge offered. Lance sighed and slung his arm over Keith's shoulders.

"I kinda just ignore it," he said.

"Really, I had no idea you had no regard for the dozens of kids literally watching us right now as we speak," Keith snarked.

"You're really not that observant then," Lance replied with a smile.

"I must've been too ~lost in your eyes~ then," Keith replied blandly and peeled his banana. Lance rolled his eyes and looked away to hide his blush. Pidge laughed.

"What?" Hunk deadpanned.

"Dude that's so cheesy!" Pidge exclaimed.

"His words not mine," Keith defended and bit in to his fruit. Lance laughed awkwardly.

"It was supposed to be a joke," he replied.

"Wow. You're pretty and you're funny? I really hit the jackpot here," Keith said sarcastically. Lance looked at him and smirked.

"You think I'm pretty?" He asked.

"I think you're gorgeous," Keith replied and kissed his nose. Lance turned bright red and had to lean away to recover from what Keith just did to his heart.

"You guys are so gross," Hunk said. Lance and Keith looked at him with confusion on whether or not they should be offended. "I mean that in the least homophobic way possible though."

"You had me worried there for a moment. I thought your parents got you," Lance said with a smile. Keith continued to eat his fruit and nodded.

"Nah. They're so bad. They scare me sometimes…"

"Well, we'll have to be careful if we're ever at your house at the same time," Lance replied. Keith nodded again.

"If you guys are gonna be like this at all then you might as well not go at all," Pidge said. Hunk nodded sympathetically.

"Yeah. They'll probably kick you out," Hunk added.

"Been there done that," Lance said pointing to the mark on his cheek.

"Whoa, dude. No way," Hunk gasped.

"Did your dad do that?" Pidge asked. Lance nodded.

"Friday night. I ran away before he could physically shove me out the door, and then I spent the weekend at Keith's house," he told them.

"Really? That's crazy. Why didn't you call or something?" Pidge asked. Lance looked over at Keith and they both blushed before looking away from each other. Lance cleared his throat.

"We had a lot of things to discuss and resolve…so I was a little preoccupied," he told them.



"Did John ever say sorry?" Keith asked. Lance nodded.

"He said he was sorry and that he regretted it blah blah blah all that good stuff. He also said if you're ever over again we can't be in my room."


"I'm guessing your mom was cool with it?" Hunk asked.

"Oh yeah. She was mostly worried about me because I ran away, but other than that she's just happy I'm not in to hardcore drugs and stuff," Lance replied.

"Honestly out of all the things you could've been, gay is not the worst one," Pidge said.

"Oh no. I'm gay. Lance is only slightly gay," Keith teased and smiled at Lance. The taller boy smiled back.

"I'm gay enough for you," he smirked. Keith rolled his eyes.

"Uh-huh," he replied.

"I mean we've made out a bunch of times. I'm pretty sure that makes me gay enough."

"If that's what you want to think, then keep telling yourself that."

"What? Do you think I'm not gay enough?"

"I didn't say anything."


"That's me."

"Oh my god!"




     There was nothing more satisfying than Lance seeing Keith sitting on the back of his car and greeting him with a kiss. It was a little bold, but he's been wanting to slip his hands over those boney hips and feel those pink lips like that for months. Not even Keith protested it, but he did cut Lance short when he tried to kiss him again. They kept the affection to a minimum since they weren't complete idiots and figured they shouldn't flaunt it so carelessly. Just because the first day was fine didn't mean they wouldn't run in to problems in the future.

     For now they enjoyed the liberation of letting go. Lance was throughly convinced that the buzz he got from holding Keith's hand in public would never get old. Keith absolutely adored the way Lance always greeted him with a kiss whether it was on his cheek or his lips. It showed them a new side to each other. Keith learned that Lance was a fan of footsie, and Lance learned that Keith liked to tease him no matter what situation they were in. They both liked to sit closer to each other, and Keith liked running his hands through Lance's hair. Lance was the one who initiated the contact, but Keith was the one to draw it out longer.

     Keith watched Lance as he drove him home. He held his backpack to his chest as usual and used it to hide his smile. The tan boy next to him lightly sang along with the radio, and Keith chuckled whenever he messed up the lyrics. Then he completely gave up and opted for laughing along with Keith.

"Leave me alone! I've only heard it once or twice," Lance defended. Keith snickered.

"You're so dumb," Keith grinned. Lance rolled his eyes and pulled up to Keith's house. He pulled the break, killed the engine, and put it in neutral.

"You're the dumb one," he muttered.

"I must be the dumb one to be dating you," Keith replied and moved his backpack out of the way of his face.

"You're the one who said I like you first, okay?" Lance pointed out. Keith rolled his eyes.

"Only because you were too chicken to say it. You tried to play those heterosexual mind games with me," he accused.

"You can't blame me for that, okay? That was the only way I knew how to date. It took me more than a month just to figured out I liked you so gimme a break please," Lance said.

"Wow, only a month? I'm proud of you," Keith teased. Lance rolled his eyes and shook his head. He looked away to hide his smile, and Keith undid he seat belt to lean over closer to him. "It took me like five seconds to decide I like you," he murmured. Lance looked over at him and blushed when he found them face to face.

"Yeah?" He breathed.

"I remember seeing your face for the first time. I couldn't even think straight," he hummed. Lance glanced down at his lips.

"I'll admit when I first saw you I thought you were one of those loner kids who scratches sad song lyrics in to desks," Lance blurted. Keith raised a brow. "And then I thought you were way too cute when you blush."

"You did not," Keith denied.

"I did, but then I thought 'no homo' like six times and tried to convince myself it was because you looked like a girl with your long hair," Lance smiled.

"It makes me look like a girl?"

"Mm…not really. I think I was just desperate," Lance assured him. Keith rolled his eyes and ran his fingers down Lance's arms.

"I remember…thinking about you all the time. I thought you were completely straight. I was surprised when you told me you weren't," Keith continued. Lance chuckled and their hands intertwined.

"I remember that night…I was so scared, but it was so nice."


"I remember I wanted to kiss you," Lance confessed.

"I wouldn't have let you," Keith replied.

"Why not?"

"I'm happy with how our first kiss turned out. It was happy, and I didn't want our first kiss to be during a sad time," Keith explained and rested his forehead against Lance's.

"So that's why you didn't let me kiss you that one time," Lance mused. Keith nodded.

"I really wanted to though. Just not as much as I wanted our first kiss to be happy," he replied.

"That makes sense…I liked our first kiss," Lance spoke softly.

"I liked it too," Keith whispered.

"I loved it," Lance murmured.

"I love you," Keith breathed. Lance tilted his chin up and their lips brushed against each other.

"I love you too…"

Chapter Text

     Lance hissed as Keith pressed the bag of ice to his eye. It was without warning, and pretty fucking cold. His boyfriend sat and had a distinct lack of sympathy on his face as he held the ice to Lance's eye. He sighed as they sat on Keith's bed and laughed a little.

"I wasn't expecting that at all," he said. Keith raised a brow.

"You literally kissed me right after everyone tossed up their caps. You were practically begging for that guy to come up and punch you," Keith told him.

"I thought that would be the perfect time! Everyone would be distracted by the hats and whatever and graduation whatever, but I guess I was wrong," Lance said. Keith chuckled and shook his head.

"That was really stupid of you."

"Yeah, but it was worth it," Lance smiled.

"What could've possibly made getting punched in the face by an aggressive homophobic teenager worth it?" Keith challenged.

"Kissing you makes anything worth it," Lance murmured leaning closer. Keith allowed his boyfriend's lips to brush against his own while he kept the ice pack firmly on the bruise.

"Besides. It's not the first time I've gotten punched," Lance hummed and pulled Keith closer by his waist. The pale boy blushed and tilted his head back slightly in an attempt to resist his only weakness that was Lance.

"T-that's just because you don't know how to throw one back," Keith muttered. Lance laughed.

"I'll never forget the day you straight up punched some kid for asking a little too aggressively if we were dating," Lance grinned. Keith tried to hold back his own smile at the memory, but ended up failing and resting his forehead on Lance's.

"I haven't had to punch anyone since then. He was too scared to report it later," Keith replied.

"They probably figured I was the one who didn't know how to fight, and decided to attack me instead."

"You should've let me punch him back. He deserved it," Keith grumbled.

"He doesn't matter. We literally never have to see him ever again," Lance reminded him. Keith smiled a little. He reached up and cradled the unmarked side of Lance's face. Navy met blue and he tilted his head back up.

"Yeah…never again," he murmured.

     Lance smiled and Keith kissed him gently. Before he knew it he was shoved on his back with Keith straddling his hips. Tan hands instinctively found their way over bony hips as Keith leaned down and kissed him again. The ice pack was forgotten next to Lance's head as the ebbing pain faded even more with each second of Contact between their lips. Keith's smile eventually interrupted the kiss as he looked down at his boyfriend. His pale forearms framing his freckled face and those blue eyes filled with adoration and desire.

"I love you," Keith murmured. Lance teasingly circled his thumb over Keith's hipbone and smiled.

"I love you too…more than anything," he replied and stretched his neck to reach Keith's mouth.

"Mm…I'm gonna miss you," Keith mumbled. Lance pulled back and frowned.


"Sorry…I just…" Keith sighed and nuzzled against Lance's neck. "…I can't stop thinking about it," he whispered.

"We have the entire summer together. You're not leaving any time soon," Lance reassured him. Keith leaned back and looked down at his boyfriend.

"Are you gonna miss me too?" He asked quietly.

"What kind of a question is that? Of course I'm gonna miss you. I'll miss you like crazy," Lance replied. Keith smiled a little. He sighed and closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of being close to Lance.

"I don't want to go to California," he said.

"Well, from what you've told me it's either a free ride to California from your grandparents or busting your ass working a couple jobs to get you through college here. Either way, we won't have time to see each other on a daily basis," Lance reminded him. Keith looked down at his hands.

"I know…but still if I go here then at least I'm close to you. If I go to California…Lance, it's so far," he said. The tan boy hesitated for a moment and bit his lip.

"I know…I know, but it's only for like what? Four years? That's not too long. Plus you'll be up here for summers, and if you get your address to me I can come down for winter break and New Years. It won't be that bad," Lance tried to assure him. What he said sounded good, but his voice trembled and Keith could tell he was holding back tears.

"Lance…" Keith trailed off as he noticed the shimmering drops threatening to fall over that beautiful freckled face.

"I-it'll be okay," Lance stuttered weakly and looked up at the ceiling.

     He tried to blink the impending tears away, but that only prompted them to crawl over his temples and in to his hair. A short growl escaped his throat and he quickly wiped the wetness away as he sat up. Keith held Lance and rubbed his back affectionately.

"I-I'm gonna miss you…so much," Lance said.

"Hey, It'll be okay. You were just talking about how we'll visit each other and see each other," Keith assured him. Lance wrapped his arms around Keith's waist and squeezed affectionately.

"I don't want you to go," Lance murmured. Keith took a shaky inhale and held him just as tightly.

"I-I don't wanna go either…" he confessed.

"Fuck…Keith," Lance sighed.

"I wish I could take you with me, or make it work here but…my mom really wants me to accept my grandparents offer," he said.

"Dammit Keith. I'm gonna be so worried about you. Who's gonna do your injections? Who's gonna make sure you take off your binder when you get home? Who's gonna be your roommate? Who's-"
"Lance, don't worry about that," Keith said.

"Who's gonna make sure you don't forget me?" Lance asked quietly. Keith's breath hitched and he shook his head furiously.

"Lance! Are you kidding me?" He snapped. Lance held Keith tighter and so the pale boy grabbed Lance's face to make eye contact.

"I love you. There's no way I could ever forget about you. You're all I want," he whispered. Lance sighed and surged forward to kiss Keith.

     The two boys eliminated all and any space between them. Lance could feel every inch of Keith's torso up against his own, and those pale hands had found their way in Lance's hair again where they fucking belonged. Their lips moved with such fever and passion that they gasped for air every second or so before going back in. It was a mess of teeth and tongues and the neediness they fed off of from each other. Keith pulled back slightly with lidded eyes before instantly smashing back in.

"I…I love…you," Keith managed between Lance's lips.

"I love you," Lance breathed as a matter of fact and shoved his hands up and under his shirt. Keith shifted at the feeling of warm hands over his torso, and arched his back with the pressure Lance put against his spine.

"My dad is in the office…mom won't get back until later," Keith said.

"Door's closed?" Lance mumbled against Keith's neck. The pale boy eyed his shut bedroom door and bit back a smile.

"Closed," he confirmed.

     With that said Lance instantly tugged off Keith's shirt. His own shirt was quick to follow, but that was on Keith's accord. Lance's first priority was getting those damn jeans and boxers off of Keith and undoing his own. Supple hands ran down his naked chest and he sighed against Keith's lips. He lifted his pelvis so Lance could tug at the tough denim, and then allowed his boyfriend to strip him. His back returned to the mattress as Keith crawled over him.

     Once Keith found out the testosterone could possibly make him sterile he wasn't sure how to feel about it. Now he was one hundred percent on board with it since he would never need purchased condoms. Then again he was very lost in the moment of warmth and skin and Lance. He took off the rest of his pants and underwear and instantly started tugging down Lance's pants. The tan boy groaned at the sight of Keith desperately pulling off his clothes and pulled him closer.

"Do you really wanna do this?" Lance asked. Keith looked him in the eyes as he panted and nodded.

"Yes," he rasped.

     He then leaned down and pelted Lance's neck with kisses. Lance took in the beauty of his boyfriend in nothing but a pair of socks and a binder and ran his hands all over Keith's pale skin. He sighed at how smooth it was, and moaned when he felt how wet Keith was on his abs. Then they both decided Lance's pants were less than a necessity. 

     It wasn't long before his jeans were in a pile with the rest of their clothes, and Keith was panting and staring down at him. Lance kept his hands on his bare hips and savored every moment he could get looking at Keith's creamy pale skin. He eyed the tan fabric covering Keith's chest and the boy noticed. Without evening being asked, Keith wiggled and wriggled out of the compressing fabric and let it fall to the side.

"Fucking Christ," Lance breathed. His eyes widened as he registered Keith's fully naked body and had to stop himself from worshiping every inch of it.

"I…I don't want you to forget about me either," Keith said.

"As if I ever could," Lance sighed and touched the indent in Keith's skin that the binder left. He shivered.

"I want you…and I wanna make sure that, no matter what the future holds for us, I'll at least remember this," Keith continued. He moved back and then pressed his warmth against Lance. The tan boy inhaled sharply at the heat currently touching his length, and bit his lip when Keith nudged his hips.


     Just the sound of his boyfriend's husky voice saying his name made Keith's face twist with pleasure. He guided Lance's fingers between his wet folds and sighed at how quickly the first digit sunk in to him. With his free hand, Lance allowed himself to explore the gorgeous planes of Keith's body. He took his time memorizing the exact angle of the jut of his hips, the crease between his thigh and his calf, and the softness of his skin. It was almost distracting hadn't Keith's soft moans and gasps recaptured his attention. He then focused on the warmth his fingers were engulfed in and gently pushed in a second digit.

     Keith's body never ceased to amaze Lance. Everything from how warm to how loose he was every time gave Lance a kind of high no previous sexual encounter ever gave him. No one has ever opened up so fucking easily for him, and it filled him with a sense of satisfaction knowing that he was the only one to experience the privilege of Keith's body. Keith panting and moaning his name. Keith pushing his hips down against Lance's fingers. Keith biting his lip and desperately rutting against the length situated in front of him. In fact it was his undulating hips that snapped Lance back to reality and add a third finger.

"Fuck, Lance!" Keith gasped and hunched over his hips. Lance was stuck staring at his boyfriend in awe and rubbed circles against his hip. Then his fingers were pulled out of that comfortable warmth and Lance must've forgotten how to move as Keith raised his hips and positioned himself over his length.

"W-wait, are you-"

"Lance, don't worry," Keith said. Lance gripped his boyfriends hips and tried to stop him.

"Seriously, wait! A-are you sure you're okay with this?" Lance asked.

"Yes. I'm certain. I want you," Keith assured him.

"Yeah, but…are you sure like this?" Lance asked quietly. Keith glared down at Lance and pushed himself down past the head. Lance gasped and Keith bit his lip. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Yes…yes, I'm sure," Keith managed. Lance was panting at how hot and tight Keith was. Despite how loose he felt around his fingers, there was a bit of tightness around his girth.

"Fuck…fuck," Lance wheezed. Keith sunk down lower and dug his nails in to Lance's sides.

"Lance…" he huffed. He knit his brows at the mixture of pain and pleasure, and steadily continued easing down on Lance's dick.

"Fuuck…you feel so good," Lance groaned and didn't dare to look away for a second. Keith leaned forward on Lance's waist and readjusted his hips, pulling up and pushing back down. Lance cursed again and gripped those sinuous hips. "Jesus…fuck…"

"I…" Keith was cut off by his own moan when he suck deeper. "I-I don't think o-our lord and saviors name was…Jesus fuck," Keith managed. Lance stopped as Keith finally settled all the way on him, and panted for a bit to catch his breath. He furrowed his brows and looked up at Keith.

"Did you just fucking sass me in the middle of being penetrated for the first time?" Lance asked. Keith tried to bite back a smile and failed at stopping the giggle slipping from his throat. He then nodded.

"Yeah…I did," he admitted. Lance tried not to smile. He honest to god tried not to smile…but it was Keith, and he couldn't resist Keith no matter what. So he ended up smiling and chuckling as he shook his head.

"You…are such a little shit," he grinned. Keith grinned back and laughed.

"Unless I read the bible wrong and it's been 'Jesus Fuck' the whole time," Keith continued. Lance shook his head.

"You're unbelievable."

"At least I believe in our lord and savior, Jesus Fuck."

"I'm gonna leave. Right now. I'll physically push you off of my dick."

"Oh no. Jesus Fuck would never forgive you for that sin."

"Keith, I swear to God."

"Swear to Jesus Fuck instead."

     Lance clenched his jaw and bucked his hips up against his boyfriend. Keith shouted at the sudden shift and grasped Lance's sides again. The tan boy then rolled up against Keith and he moaned as he struggled to get a grip on his sanity. As he predicted Lance felt so incredibly good inside of him, and it was too hard to ignore it and continue his silly teasing. Instead he panted and gasped for breath as Lance rocked up inside him and gripped his boney hips.

"Jesus fuck," Keith breathed.

"You look so good," Lance said drinking in Keith's expression and his body. 

     The dark-haired boy blushed and glared down at Lance. He then pulled up his hips and slammed them down in retaliation. Lance nearly choked on his inhale and his head automatically flung back against the sheets. His grip tightened and Keith bit his lip at the feeling of Lance's nails digging in to his skin. He smirked and did it again. A loud moan oozed it's way from Keith's throat and he drew it out nice and long for Lance to enjoy. A third smack and Lance's chest was heaving. He rolled his hips again and Keith moaned again. Except this time his moan was decorate in such a delicious way that Lance couldn't resist looking up at his boyfriend's face.

"Lance," Keith moaned. Blue eyes snapped up at that pinched flushed face and Lance knew he was a puddle of hopelessness.

"Fuck," Lance cursed.

"Lance," Keith sighed again.

     He started up a shallow pace. It wasn't as earth-shattering as his first few thrusts, but it built up the pressure that made Keith's mouth run dry from breathing so hard. Lance had a similar situation with his chest heaving with each breath, but he did anything and everything to make it less strenuous for Keith. He lifted Keith's hips with him, and rocked up his hips, and pushed Keith back down with more force. 

     Soon it was just mindless slapping of skin as Keith groaned and growled with pleasure. Lance was moaning Keith's name over and over just because he liked the way it sounded leaving his lips. The other boy liked the sound as well, but liked the feeling of Lance's lips much better. It was a messy kiss they shared. The jerky movement made it difficult not to smash their teeth together, and when they did they ended up settling for watching.

     Keith's hands were all over Lance. They ran up and down his tan chest as his hips moved with more fever and desire. He bit his lip as his fingers dragged against Lance's arms and down to his hands.

"God…Keith," Lance sighed and interlocked their fingers. Keith grinned and guided Lance's hands over his body.

"Are you gonna miss this? Are you gonna miss every inch of this?" Keith whispered. Lance nodded and felt Keith's body. His waist. His hips. His thighs. His ass. "How badly are you gonna miss me? Tell me how much you're gonna miss me," Keith continued in a sultry voice. Lance's breath hitched a little and he bit down on his lip. His hands settled back on Keith's hips and he took a shaky breath.

"I'm gonna miss you a lot," Lance said with tears prickling at his eyes again. Keith stopped his attempt at dirty talk and slowed down to a stop.

"Lance…fuck. I-I didn't mean-"

"Sorry…I just…" he trailed off and wiped away his tears again. Keith frowned and sniffled as he pulled Lance back up. The two boys embraced once again as they slowly dissolved in a puddle of pleasure, pain, and tears.

"I can't imagine a day without you," Lance breathed. Keith hugged Lance so tight he could hear Lance struggle to breath a little. He barely loosened it, and Lance only tightened his arms around Keith's pale waist.

"Shut up," Keith whined.

"You're gonna get so many new friends in college…and you pass so well they'll never know. I won't see you at school everyday or be able to eat lunch with you in the cafeteria-"

"S-shut up, Lance," Keith interrupted crying himself.

"I'm s-sorry but…I can't stop thinking about it either," Lance muttered.

"Fuck…just…" Keith hiccuped and then sobbed against Lance's shoulder. "Are you sure you're going to Lewis and Clark?"

"Yeah…I am," Lance confirmed. Keith nuzzled against his brown skin.

"Why is this so fucking hard?" He muttered. Hot tears rubbed against Lance's neck and he kissed Keith's shoulder.

"Because we fell in love," Lance whispered. Keith clenched his jaw and tried to hold back another sob.

"I don't know what I'd do without you," he whispered back.

"Keith, d-don't say stuff like that-"

"I'm…sorry," Keith mumbled. He sniffled and ran his hand through Lance's hair for the millionth time.

"Don't be," Lance replied.

"Please…don't let me go," Keith said. Lance kissed Keith's shoulder again, and then his neck, his jaw, and eventually his lips. He smoothed his thumb against Keith's soft bottom lip and looked up at him with tears in his eyes.





     It was a busy day in the office. Keith was almost done with the article manuscript one of his writers turned in to him late last week, and so far it looked like it wouldn't make the cut. He furrowed his brows as he read and reread the sentence in front of him and ended up cutting it completely. At this rate the originally seven page manuscript would be seven paragraphs. He sighed and flipped to the next page. There was a knock on his office door and he silently thanked God for the interruption.

"Come in," he allowed and set the manuscript to the side. His assistant stepped in with a smile on her face and two mugs in her hands.

"Thought you could use a pick-me-up after how late you stayed in last night," Barbra announced. Keith sighed with relief and reached out for the usual black mug he kept in the break room.

"Thank you, Barb," he smiled as the ceramic handle met his fingers.

"No problem," she replied. "Did you make any progress?"

"Mmm…Smith is gonna have to try harder next time. I tried to go easy on him since it was his first article, but there's barely even two pages of usable material here. Even if he added to it, I'm not sure it's gonna make it this time," Keith replied.

"Well, no one said being the editor-in-chief was easy. Just think about how long it took you to get an article through," Barbra reminded him. Keith nodded.

"You have a good point," he murmured in to his mug and then took a sip.

"You could probably just not finish editing it and tell him to try again. There's no point in correcting and checking something that's not gonna make it anyways."

"Another good point," Keith said and set his mug down.
"You can tell him at today's meeting here soon."

"That's probably a good idea," he agreed and picked up something else from his desk to focus on. Barbra sighed.

"I'll let you get back to work then," she said. Keith nodded and read through the paper.

"Mm-hm," he hummed and sipped his coffee again. His assistant rolled her eyes and shook her head with a smile.

"You're such a workaholic," she mused out loud and turned around to exit Keith's office. Just as she opened the door she was startled by a tall figure immediately outside the door. Keith looked up at her sound of distress and furrowed his brows.

"Everything okay, Barb?" He called.

"Y-yes! I was just surprised by this…visitor," she replied. Keith struggled to make out who it was through his office door and Barbra's body. He could tell the visitor was definitely male and definitely tall.

"Hello, how may I assist you today?" Barbra asked the stranger as she closed the door. Keith tried to look through the little window of his door, but eventually convinced himself that his work was more important. His eyes returned to the page he was reading through when there was suddenly another knock.

"Uh…come in," he said. Barb peeked her head in with an impatient smile.

"Sorry to bother you, Mr. Kogane, but there's a gentleman out here insisting that he knows you from high school. Should I call security?" She asked. Keith's heart skipped a beat.

"High school?" He questioned. Was it…no. It couldn't be. The last time Keith saw him was two Christmases ago when he said he still needed to go to school. Since then they lost touch and…it was busy.

"Yeah, he's telling me you were good friends. I can just-"

"Y'know I can hear everything you're saying, lady. Just let me see Keith, he knows me!"

     Keith's heart skipped another beat as a familiar voice pierced the air. He swallowed hard and instantly felt a thousand thoughts rush through his head. What was he doing here? How did he find Keith? Damn he missed that voice. Did he still have those freckles? We're his eyes still as blue? Did he have the same effect on Keith that he did in high school? How fucking long has it been since high school? God when was the last time he brushed his teeth? Why didn't he shower this morning? Because he took showers at night, that's why, but still.

"Sir, I already told you. Mr. Kogane is busy-"

"Let him in," Keith said snapping back to reality. He was already standing up and walking around to the other side of his desk. Barbra blinked at him.

"Are you serious? Do you even know him-"

"Yes, now let him in, Barbra," he ordered in a stern voice. His assistant sighed and stepped aside. She held the door up and Keith almost passed out from the breath of fresh air that was Lance McClain.

     The tan boy was now most definitely a man. He had grown even taller, and he was currently wearing an annoyed expression pointed at Barbra. When those blue eyes connected with Navy for the first time in years Keith couldn't hold back the ridiculous grin that was undoubtedly on his face. He nervously gripped the edge of his desk with his hands behind his back, and Lance stood there dumbfounded. Almost starstruck. He was gaping at Keith as if he was a piece of art hung up especially for Lance. 

     The editor bit his bottom lip to try and hide his smile a little and ended up giggling nervously and looking down. He pushed some of his hair over his ear and glanced up to find Lance blushing.

"Hey," he spoke first. Lance blinked and returned to reality finally. He smiled and breathed a laugh.

"Hey," he replied. Barbra stood awkwardly holding the door open.

"So…are you gonna go in? Because I have a job to do and holding this door open is not it," she sassed. Lance quickly looked to her and blushed deeper.

"S-sorry," he stuttered and stepped inside.

"Yeah yeah," she muttered and closed the door behind Lance.

     Silence filled the room as Lance realized they were now alone. They had barely exchanged two words and he was sweating. Keith looked just as amazing as the last time he saw him on his couch snuggled in a Christmas sweater. Lance smiled at the memory and smiled at the man in front of him. He was wearing what he envisioned most editors wore. Dark slacks held up by suspenders and a deep blue button up completed with a red tie with white polka dots. His shiny shoes and rolled up sleeves completed the look as he crossed his arms and fiddled with the fabric.

"It's been a while," Keith said. The sound of his voice made Lance want to jump him right then and there. Scoop him up in his arms and carry him out so they could start their new life together.

"Yeah…it has," Lance nodded.

"So how have you been?" Keith asked. Lance hesitated and sighed.

"Crazy. I mean…its been crazy. I'm not…crazy," Lance stammered. Keith raised a brow as he tried not to smile. "B-but I'm still crazy about you…uh…" Lance blurted. Keith laughed.

"Same old Lance. You're always trying to smooth talk me," he said shaking his head with a grin. Lance smiled back.

"What can I say? It works, doesn't it?" He asked coming a little closer. Keith blushed a little and looked down.

"You never had to smooth talk me to make me fall for you," Keith replied. "You know that."

"Maybe, but the smooth talking was probably the reason you stuck around," Lance said. Keith chuckled and looked up in time to find Lance much closer than before.

     It was like he was suddenly back in high school. Barely nine months in to his transition and a slave to the way Lance made him feel. His brain went a little numb as he remembered graduation. He did his best to block out the sad parts and focused on how good Lance made him feel. Just seeing him this close and feeling his presence and smelling his scent again made Keith desperate for his affection. 

     Keith had never ever met anyone who inspired his desire like Lance did. All through college and his time as an author, and now an editor, he never met anyone else who swept him away like Lance did. Like Lance currently was doing with one look and less than five feet between them.

"No…I stuck around for a lot of reasons," Keith murmured. Lance glanced down at Keith's lips. He wetted them as he noticed Lance's gaze.

"Do those reasons apply now?" Lance asked. Keith smirked.

"Mm…perhaps. It's been a long time since we've seen each other, so you might have to jog my memory," Keith replied. Lance grinned and leaned his palms on the edge of Keith's desk. Those familiar bony hips were between Lance's still lanky arms as he leaned closer.

"I think I can do that for you," he whispered. Keith smiled and accepted Lance's soft warm kiss against his lips.

     Despite never kissing anyone for two and a half years, Keith picked it up again like he was kissing Lance only yesterday. It took less than a second for his pale fingers to return to their rightful place in Lance's roots, and less than five seconds for Lance's tongue to venture in to Keith's mouth. The editor gave a shy moan of approval and cupped the tan cheek in front of him. Memories came flooding back and with each second of contact Keith felt himself become needier and more desperate for Lance's affections.

     Hands found their way against Keith's waist and there was suddenly no more room between them. Lance could feel every inch of Keith's body pressed against his own. His nimble fingers cradling his scalp and his cheek as Lance expressed just how much he missed this through his lips. He broke off only once for air and Keith merely resumed against his neck and Lance gave a content sigh.

"I missed you," Lance said.

"I missed you too…you have no idea," Keith breathed.

"Mr. Kogane, the twelve o'clock meeting is…uh."

     Keith looked over Lance's shoulder and turned bright red. He instantly put some space between them and looked at Barbra with wide eyes. She stood there with a surprised look on her face, and when Lance turned to see what was going on he blushed as well. He took his hands away from Keith's waist and stepped away.

"T-tell them I'll be there in a minute," Keith stuttered. Barbra nodded.

"Okay…um…" she glanced at Lance and then back to Keith. "Should I tell them you have a visitor?" She asked. Keith paused for a moment and then nodded.

"Yeah. You can tell them…that," he confirmed.

"Okay," Barbra said and then closed the door. Lance let out a sigh of relief and Keith leaned back against his desk.

"Wow. That was awkward," Lance muttered.

"Yeah. It was less awkward when my mom walked in during high school," Keith agreed. Lance smiled and found his way back in front of Keith.

"I miss those days," he said and wrapped his arms around Keith's waist. The editor smiled back and smoothed the wrinkles in Lance's shirt.

"I take it you graduated finally," he spoke softly. Lance nodded.

"Literally. Just now. I came here as soon as I could after the ceremony," Lance confirmed. Keith giggled and wound his arms around Lance's neck.

"So you're a lawyer now, huh?"

"Yup. I get to argue for a living."

"Mm, I heard that comes with a fat paycheck," Keith hummed. Lance chuckled and rested his forehead against Keith's.

"Yeah. I'll be able to buy us a nice big house, and I'll take you on vacation to the Bahamas," he said. Keith laughed.

"How about we focus on the house first. Where were you thinking?" Keith asked.

"Mmm…somewhere nice and quiet. Maybe the suburbs? We could get a dog…or maybe a couple kids," Lance suggested. Keith blushed a little at the mention of kids.

"You mean…like start a family together?" Keith murmured shyly. Lance grinned and nodded.

"Yeah. We could start a family together."

"But…the testosterone. Lance, I can't have kids anymore. I lost that chance," Keith told him.

"That's why we'll adopt."

"What about…what about getting married?" Keith whispered, almost embarrassed to suggest it. Lance paused for a moment, but before he could speak Barbra was knocking again.

"Mr. Kogane, the meeting-"

"J-just another moment, please," he said. She sighed and closed the door again.

"Do you wanna get married?" Lance asked. Keith looked away and nodded shyly. "Because we can."

"Can we?"

"Well…your birth certificate says female, right?" Lance asked.


"Then we can get married," Lance told him. Keith looked back up at him.

"That works?"

"Yup," Lance said. Keith let out a deep breath and smiled.

"We can get married…" he murmured. Lance nodded and was surprised when Keith suddenly hugged him. He laughed and then returned the embrace.

"We can get married and start a family and move in with each other and…" Keith trailed off and pulled back to grin at Lance. "…we can spend the rest of our lives together."

"We can," Lance nodded and leaned in. Keith kissed Lance first as he came closer and hugged him tighter.

"God Lance…that makes me so happy," he sighed. Lance grinned.

"I told you I'd never let you go," Lance reminded him. Keith nuzzled against his neck.

"Fuck…fuck you. I haven't felt this way since high school," Keith murmured. Lance laughed.

"I love you," Lance said.

"I love you too, asshole."